It was still early, an hour left before the ceremony. He was already in his seat. Having conquered the endless sea of photographers, he had safely reached his destination. Oh how he loathed all the publicity! Not as much as Robert did though. He had listened to Robert complain repeatedly and, unlike him, Robert could do something about it, he could disappear, he could avoid the press without consequences. Hugh was obligated to take part in this fiesta and, for him, it wasn't about the contract, he took this responsibility for the show, for the fans.
He caught a glimpse of Jennifer on the red carpet before he went in and he felt a rush of emotion surge through his body making his cheeks burn and his other body parts tighten. Her beauty was unimaginable and he once again grew more conscious of his age and appearance. He felt like he shouldn't look at her, shouldn't touch her or talk to her in order not to taint her with his inadequacy. What the hell was he doing here?
Jen came over and sat behind him, she breezed in with her freshness and glamour. There was always something risky about her, at least for him anyway. Hugh debated whether her seat was too far or too close.
"It's intense out there!" Jen said with a huge smile on her face.
"It always is," he replied half-turning towards her.
“Yeah,” she added with a chuckle
“You like the attention, don’t you?”
“Tonight I do,” she touched her hair anxiously.
Hugh paused, cast down his eyes and smiling stared at his hands.
“You deserve it,” he said quietly.
“Thank you,” Jennifer blushed.
She looked around. Omar and Jesse still didn’t show up. Robert was busy talking to Gaby and Hugh remained in his position, his profile facing Jennifer. He wondered whether she felt uncomfortable without a pair at the ceremony while Jesse came with his girlfriend. He noted that she didn’t look uncomfortable.
The anomaly was that no matter how insecure or awkward he felt before, Jen always made him feel completely at ease when they talked. Her proximity might have stung his fingertips, but her warm smile and welcoming demeanor always loosened him up. They could joke, laugh and he forgot to be self-conscious, to feel embarrassed at his occasional fantasies of her.
“Are you ready to accept another award?” Jen’s beautiful eyes searched for contact.
“I’m just glad they gave me a warning in advance this time,” he met her eyes for a second.
He felt like she was so amazingly open with him, as if she made sure he saw her entirely and without reservations. But he knew it wasn’t that simple, he knew she had her own demons. It was written in her smile, in her persistence at being careless and happy.
“I bet your speech is going to be wonderful as usual.”
“I wouldn’t count on it. I didn’t prepare anything spectacular.”
Jen leaned in a little, still keeping her distance.
“You know, this one reporter kept calling me Jill and kept trying to make me come over, answer questions.”
“You should have given him the interview as Jill and let him get sucker punched by his boss.”
“I almost did. I put my game face on, came over, but we were interrupted by Katie who got all defensive about my name and ‘show’s reputation.’”
“Party pooper.”
“Hugh, you have really enriched your American slang vocabulary. ‘Sucker punched’ ‘party pooper,’ what’s happening?”
“Spending too much time at work, that’s what’s happening. I started enjoying American humor. It’s embarrassing.”
Jen laughed and rocked back in her chair. They sat in silence for a bit.
He felt like telling her, just giving her a hint, an indication.
“Jen, you’ve got to stop doing this to me. Looking as beautiful as you do, you’ve got to stop being so nice.”
He tried to make it sound as light, as dismissive as he could. He looked up straight into her eyes, they stared at each other for a while. Her mouth smiled, but her eyes were full of confusion. Meanwhile, people started arriving and crowding their space.
That was when she moved closer, put her hand on his shoulder and whispered.
“You know what we are, nothing more, nothing less. I’ll always be here.”
He made his hand into a fist; she instantly closed her palm also. Nodding his head, he gave her a nervous smile.
Whether it was comfortable or not, natural or not, their something could never be and it was fine, it was okay. Her smile would always make his day.