"Just One Night" (2/3) - [Ryo/Yamapi/Jin]
Ryo saunters into work with a grin from ear to ear, not knowing how Yamapi can make him so happy, but appreciative all the same. He knows his bandmates are staring at him, normally cool, cocky and reserved but today he just doesn’t care about an image, and thinks maybe this is why Jin acts so stupid and happy all the time, maybe Jin just can’t help it.
Speak of the devil, he thinks, as Jin runs into Kanjani8’s room, his pants drowning out whispers of “I heard he walked out on Uchi yesterday” and “why is he so happy? Is it a mask?” and “playboy, he’s cheating”.
“Ryo, Ryo,” Jin pants, as Ryo exchanges his smile for a straight face. “Do you know where Yamapi was yesterday?”
Ryo snorts. “No, why? Lost your leash on him?”
Jin furrows his brow. “He said we would do something yesterday, and he wasn’t home and he didn’t answer his phone, and he didn’t answer my voicemail, and I just wanted some ramen! I am mad!” He declares, changing his whine into what he thinks is a righteous pronouncement.
“Trust me, fat Jin,” Ryo smirks, “you’re better off without that ramen.” Just as expected, Jin releases a shrill cry of “Ryo, you little-!” and proceeds to throw Ryo onto the couch where he just looks at Jin and laughs, and Jin starts laughing too.
Easy, Ryo thinks, and laughs a little harder at Jin’s naivety.
-
Yamapi sits at the table in Ryo’s kitchen, chewing rice and pickles as he picks up Ryo’s hastily scrawled note.
Going to work, sorry, back by 5, please don’t leave the apartment or I’ll worry
-Ryo
-
Ryo opens his apartment door to hear Sayaendo playing loudly, with Yamapi singing along in his pitchy, nasal voice that is so Yamapi and therefore automatically endearing. Yamapi, stirring something on the stove, stops singing as soon as he sees Ryo. “Welcome back,” he says cheerily.
“I’m home,” Ryo says, unable to stop a flood of questions. “What are you listening to? What are you making? What have you been doing?”
“Can you get a plate?” Yamapi asks in return, and Ryo takes one out of the cabinet to hand to him. “I found this CD in your collection,” Yamapi explains. “I saw my face, and yours, and I got excited. And! I know the words!” He adds excitedly, “Isn’t that the coolest?”
“I think music is something you can never forget,” Ryo muses aloud as he takes out two bowls for rice. “Whatever you’re making, it smells good.”
They enjoy Yamapi’s stir-fried beef as he tells the older man that he’s just been relaxing, reading, looking around the apartment, napping, reading some more, watching a little TV. “How was your day?” Yamapi asks, listening attentively.
They watch some television after dinner that night, and Yamapi finds himself automatically scooting closer to Ryo, who has his arm slug over the back of the couch, other hand propping up his chin. Ryo can’t help but notice Yamapi sneaking glances at him, so after forty-five minutes of that he finally plants a soft kiss on Yamapi’s cheek.
He finds himself pleasantly surprised when Yamapi reacts immediately, pressing his lips onto Ryo’s. “It was kind of lonely here today,” Yamapi whispers, and Ryo shivers.
Ryo usually prides himself on being cool and collected, but he feels himself come completely undone under Yamapi’s hands, which are hesitantly roaming Ryo’s chest as Ryo keeps their lips locked. “I want to make you happy,” Yamapi whispers again, and Ryo feels his body shake in a good way as Yamapi’s hands clumsily unzip Ryo’s black pants and grasp Ryo’s hardness. Ryo thinks he might die of pleasure as Yamapi’s warm mouth closes over his cock.
Ryo hopes the night never ends, as he relishes the little, breathy noises Yamapi makes when Ryo touches him.
-
The same dream he dreamed when he fell asleep this afternoon, halfway through a book. It’s barely a dream, just flashes, memories?
The flash of a bright smile, no face to go with it.
Warm laughter, Yamapi recognizes one voice as his own but not the other.
The warmth of hands clasping his, a warmth that spreads to his chest as he lies in his bed in Ryo’s guest room, warm but with a vague feeling that something’s missing.
He jerks awake. Of course something’s missing, he chides himself. There are so many things he can’t remember, but he just wants to enjoy this life right now, without responsibility or worry, just him and Ryo and fulfilled desires. Isn’t it his vacation, anyway?
He drifts back into sleep.
-
Just one more night, Ryo tells himself.
-
It’s been a week, and Yamapi is relaxed every day with Ryo. He reads, peruses, photo albums, and listens to music while Ryo’s at work, and then they go for a walk at night or watch a movie at home or something of the sort, and every night they end up sticky and sweaty and deliriously happy in each other’s arms. Ryo comes into work every day with a positive attitude, and the staff comments on his energy and how it’s really coming out in the photoshoots and rehearsals, his popularity rate is going to go up for sure. Ryo smiles at the compliments but doesn’t really listen, because forget everything, he feels fucking complete.
Ryo just has one complaint.
-
“IT’S BEEN A WEEK AND NO ONE HERE HAS HEARD FROM YAMAPI?!” Jin bellows one day, and everyone kind of shrugs.
“Bakanishi, I’m sure he’s fine,” Kame says, exasperated. “We’ve been over this. He probably told you were he was going, and you probably forgot.”
“I don’t know why you guys don’t care,” Jin says, dead serious, “but I’m worried, okay? He was supposed to come back today, and I haven’t seen or heard from him in a week. This is fucking crazy.”
Ryo tries not to smirk because he knows Yamapi’s phone is turned off, hidden between the sofa cushions in Yamapi’s empty apartment. Not to mention that Yamapi is in his apartment, sleeping in his bed. Oh, and they’ve been fucking for the last week. He smiles very widely at Jin, who doesn’t notice.
“I’m going to find him,” Jin declares dramatically.
-
Ryo’s not worried at all, until he comes home early to an empty apartment. After frantically searching the rooms, he runs to Yamapi’s room and looks out the window, to see the park that they once went to. It’s so refreshing here, Yamapi had said, settling down on bench as Ryo admired the way the afternoon breeze ruffled Yamapi’s soft hair. But the park was empty now, save a few children. Ryo swore and ran out the door, praying that Yamapi hadn’t somehow bumped into Jin, or worse, regained his memory.
Ryo doesn’t expect to find Jin first, as he retraces the path around his apartment’s block.
“Jin?” he asks tentatively, as Jin is just standing awkwardly outside of the small grocery Ryo usually goes to, staring inside with his head tilted.
Jin slowly turns his head to look at Ryo with big eyes. “Ryo,” he half whispers, dazedly, “look, isn’t that Pi?”
Ryo takes one glance before saying, “Jin, you need some sleep, or something, you’re starting to scare me, that looks nothing like Yamapi, maybe they have the same hair, hair color, I don’t know. But that - that’s definitely not Yamapi. If he was around here, why wouldn’t he call you? But Jin, stop worrying, go home, get some sleep, you look horrible.”
Jin’s bottom lip trembles, and he thinks he might cry, but Ryo’s right because he hasn’t gotten proper sleep for a couple nights now. He nods hesitantly at Ryo, and turns around to go home, because maybe, just maybe, he’ll wake up to find that this is a dream, that Pi never left him, and that he wasn’t lonely at all.
Once Jin turns the corner, Ryo leans against the wall of the grocery. So thankful for his poison tongue automatically forming words while his brain couldn’t think, he still can’t shake off the feeling of fear that invaded his heart when he followed Jin’s gaze to what was definitely Yamapi.
Yamapi cheerfully exits the store, groceries in a plastic bag, when he sees Ryo slumped against the wall, breathing like he’s just run a marathon. “Ryo-chan?” he asks worriedly, rushing to his side.
Ryo takes one look at Yamapi before hugging him tightly. “Ryo-chan, what’s wrong?” Yamapi asks softly, dropping the bag to put his arms comfortingly on Ryo’s back. “What are you doing here?”
“Looking for you,” Ryo mumbles into Yamapi’s collarbone. “Don’t - don’t leave, okay?”
“Of course not,” Yamapi reassures him, patting Ryo’s back.
For the first time, Ryo feels worried. If Jin takes Yamapi, Ryo is sure that Yamapi will never come back.
-
They go to bed early that night, something they have not done once over the past week. Instead, they simply slip underneath the covers on Ryo’s bed.
Ryo holds Yamapi’s hand very tightly as they drift into dreams.
-
Two hands dance together before joining to form a heart. Yamapi recognizes one hand as his own, but cannot see the other person’s face.
A playful punch.
Cheerful laughter.
Hands firmly holding his.
Yamapi’s been having the same kind of dreams all week; sometimes he feels like there’s something he’s really missing, but why? Isn’t he content to be with Ryo?
But Yamapi would love to know whose hands are so warm and so unforgettable that they must appear in his dreams every night.
-
Jin jerks out of his fitful slumber, and he thinks that he feels worse than he felt earlier. He misses his best friend, soft skin and warm laughter. He hugs himself tightly, as if the action alone will make his loneliness disappear; but he feels the same, so lonely in the dark room. He decides to call Ryo, fumbling with his phone and clumsily punching in the numbers.
He hears a soft “hello?” after two rings, and as disoriented as he is - his senses are jaded and he can’t see clearly for the tears filling his eyes - he manages to recognize that it’s not Ryo because Ryo always answers “yes” or the likelier “what.”
“I-I’m sorry,” Jin chokes out, voice cracking. He sniffs. How stupid of him, he’s such an idiot, calling the wrong number and now he feels even more alone; what was he thinking calling Ryo anyway? Ryo would just have taunted him, even if there was talk lately about Ryo having gone soft. Stupid, stupid. Ryo wouldn’t have comforted him at all. “I called the wrong number,” he says in a forlorn voice, sniffing again. He pulls to phone from his ear to end the call, but stops when he hears the gentle voice again.
“Are you okay?” the person on the other line asks kindly, and Jin’s confidence cracks.
“I’m sorry,” he says again, starting to break down. He lets out a sob and gasps for air before saying, “I - I just - I can’t find my best friend, he’s been gone for a week and nobody, nobody cares but me, and I - I - I miss him so much.” Jin finishes tearfully, and he knows it’s stupid to babble about your problems to anyone, especially a stranger, but this person is listening and Jin thinks that’s all that matters right now.
It’s silent for a minute, save Jin’s sobs, until the soft voice tells him, “Shh, it’s okay. It’s scary, isn’t it? And lonely?”
Jin nods fervently.
“I’m sure he’s fine though,” the voice continues. “Please don’t worry too much, okay? You’ll just make yourself sick, and I’m sure that’s the last thing your best friend would want.”
Jin stops crying because it’s so true, he can imagine Pi giving him a hug, smoothing back Jin’s hair, saying, “Bakanishi, why were you so upset? I can’t be by your side all the time.” And Pi would laugh at him a little, and Jin would feel stupid, and in that case, he definitely doesn’t want Pi to know that he’s been crying.
Jin realizes that the voice is still talking, saying, “Don’t worry, best friends can always find each other if your hearts are close; you have a connection. If you love each other, you’re never really apart.”
“Thank you,” Jin whispers into the phone before ending the call and flopping back onto his bed. He closes his eyes and falls asleep almost immediately, some weight lifted off his back and a new hope in his heart.
Crying is exhausting.