I really really enjoyed this fic. Jeff was amazingly real and sexy (and he was the perfect combination of "tv character" Jeff and the fantasy Jeff I think most of us want to see - without, as other reviewers stated here, the expectation of sex...leaving that out of the equation made this fic surprising in a great way
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Thanks for the feedback! I will keep those points in mind next time. The beginning of the fic was rearranged a couple of times (the entire fic went from present tense to past, too, so I'll skim through and fix those verbs I missed fixing), and I'll try to jump right into the action earlier.
This is one of my favorite fics, and I have to disagree with an earlier commenter, I liked the flow of the story. The float angle seems completely Annie and the fact that it took so long to get to any real Jeff/Annie interaction made it a more organic read instead of a gratuitous one. I love angst and a slow burn is the best kind, and I think you mastered that in this one.
You had great characterizations, great continuity callbacks, and I liked that they ended up not having sex. It seemed more like a show plotline instead of fanfiction.
Also (this is just a detail I liked) I'm glad that there was actually a key for Annie that she just chose not to use--again, it makes it seem less fanfiction-y that she actually had a way into her house and just chose not to use it. Great touch :)
Aw, thank you. Being in Annie's head is fun b/c it's so driven, so neurotic--and that's interesting to explore, especially with what the show has revealed about her background.
Glad it struck you as more of a show plotline, too. Writing fanfic for a comedy is always tough, b/c as much as I want to be "and then they finally got together! yayness!" it's more of a challenge to explore their relationship while trying to stay within the constraints of the show. So happy it worked for you!
And yes, the key! It definitely seemed like Annie had to make a decision--she had to choose Jeff rather than her routine--rather than just have 'the forces that be' dictate what happened. Happy that stuck out for you. It was my fav detail. :)
Everything has basically already been said. But I just wantedt to add how much I love this story. Annie's sad high school float story is so in character, as is their dialogue.
Please, please, please write more fics. I'm a fan!!
Ah! You're pretty much my favorite person at the moment, I hope you know.
I loved everything about part 1. I loved Annie working on the float, and it was so nice to see her reason why slowly unfold. The fact that she ditched the study group three times, and that Jeff jokingly held that against her, also made my soul flutter around with joy a bit. And the best thing you did was, when Annie's float fell apart, you never took it to this sappy place where Jeff became super! supportive! caring! Jeff. So easily that could've been this typical fanfic ~moment~ where Jeff grows a soul and boom--here comes the schmoop--but how realistic is that? No. Instead he reacted in his usual Jeff way
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Omg, thank you for such a lovely comment. I'm grinning and blushing like an idiot over here. XD
So psyched you enjoyed all the little details about his place, and especially happy that he reacted in ways that were realistic to you. I figure, Hey, I adore Jeff just the way he is, and it would be hysterical and dysfunctional and yet ultra sweet for him to not change for Annie--to get all flustered and baffled, yeah, but not get, as you say, schmoopy. Great word. ;)
Oh no, I guess by now you're wondering where the NEXT FIC IS. Um... *stares warily at untouched school papers* If only I could ignore these for longer... Well, if tonight's productive I'd really like to start another J/A fic, haha. But my brain needs to learn to get responsible. At some point. Maybe not right away.
Ah well.
Glad you enjoyed! Thanks again for such a fun comment! :D
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:) Thanks for commenting!
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You had great characterizations, great continuity callbacks, and I liked that they ended up not having sex. It seemed more like a show plotline instead of fanfiction.
Also (this is just a detail I liked) I'm glad that there was actually a key for Annie that she just chose not to use--again, it makes it seem less fanfiction-y that she actually had a way into her house and just chose not to use it. Great touch :)
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Glad it struck you as more of a show plotline, too. Writing fanfic for a comedy is always tough, b/c as much as I want to be "and then they finally got together! yayness!" it's more of a challenge to explore their relationship while trying to stay within the constraints of the show. So happy it worked for you!
And yes, the key! It definitely seemed like Annie had to make a decision--she had to choose Jeff rather than her routine--rather than just have 'the forces that be' dictate what happened. Happy that stuck out for you. It was my fav detail. :)
Thanks for such a lovely comment!
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Please, please, please write more fics. I'm a fan!!
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This pairing and fandom is so wonderful to me right now, I def hope to write more. I appreciate the comment!
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I loved everything about part 1. I loved Annie working on the float, and it was so nice to see her reason why slowly unfold. The fact that she ditched the study group three times, and that Jeff jokingly held that against her, also made my soul flutter around with joy a bit. And the best thing you did was, when Annie's float fell apart, you never took it to this sappy place where Jeff became super! supportive! caring! Jeff. So easily that could've been this typical fanfic ~moment~ where Jeff grows a soul and boom--here comes the schmoop--but how realistic is that? No. Instead he reacted in his usual Jeff way ( ... )
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So psyched you enjoyed all the little details about his place, and especially happy that he reacted in ways that were realistic to you. I figure, Hey, I adore Jeff just the way he is, and it would be hysterical and dysfunctional and yet ultra sweet for him to not change for Annie--to get all flustered and baffled, yeah, but not get, as you say, schmoopy. Great word. ;)
Oh no, I guess by now you're wondering where the NEXT FIC IS. Um... *stares warily at untouched school papers* If only I could ignore these for longer... Well, if tonight's productive I'd really like to start another J/A fic, haha. But my brain needs to learn to get responsible. At some point. Maybe not right away.
Ah well.
Glad you enjoyed! Thanks again for such a fun comment! :D
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