Big Damn List does Connor/Kyle again.
Title: Never Was
Fandom: Green Lantern Corps
Characters: Kyle Rayner, Connor Hawke
Prompt: 71 - BROKEN
Word Count: 670
Rating: PG
Summary: Connor doesn’t remember a lot of things. Kyle is one of them.
Author's Notes: Post Green Arrow/Black Canary 14. Slash.
“Connor?”
He couldn’t quite take the blame for what had happened to Connor Hawke, but Kyle Rayner couldn’t help feeling that if he’d only been there, Connor would have been safe. Intellectually, he knew that he couldn’t have been, that there had been too much going on with the Corps and even in his own personal life, but he’d failed the person he cared most about.
“Yes?”
Connor turned around, and he was alive, and healthy, and awake. The memory of how he had been, in the hospital (empty eyes, a facsimile of life), flashed through Kyle’s mind and he shoved it away, along with the vague feelings of guilt that he hadn’t even known Connor was missing. Hal had told him later that Connor had been found and was all right, and after the flash of joy came the crush of wondering when he’d gotten so very out of touch with the world he called home.
That’s going to change now. This was a second chance, and he was going to do it right this time.
Kyle threw himself into Connor’s arms, a running leap he’d made countless times before. Connor caught him, hands firm against Kyle’s back as Kyle wrapped his legs around Connor’s waist. So familiar, and such a rush of memory - why hadn’t they done this in so long? Kyle cupped Connor’s face, gloves melting away for the touch of bare skin, and leaned down to kiss his beloved.
The look of shock in Connor’s eyes registered a split second before Connor shoved him away, one hand pressed against the back of his mouth. Kyle landed hard, too surprised to even think about using the ring to catch his fall.
“What the hell was that?” Connor demanded.
“What do you mean, what the hell was that?” Kyle snapped back, climbing to his feet. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here, but that’s no reason to push me away like that.”
“I don’t even know who you are!”
The worst part was that Connor was telling the truth - the ring helpfully confirmed that his vital signs were consistent with someone who believed what he was saying. “Kyle,” Kyle said softly. “Kyle Rayner. I’ve known you since you started using the name Green Arrow.”
“Green Lantern,” Connor said, some of the defensiveness easing out of his stance. “I… don’t remember much from … from before.” He wasn’t quite apologizing, but he wasn’t pushing Kyle away, either.
“You helped me look for my father,” Kyle told him. “You were the reason I tried so hard to get along with your father, when he came back the first time.” He and Connor had shared so much, and he tried to give him the memories, speaking rapidly, tongue all but tripping over itself as Connor simply stared at him without response.
Finally, Connor just shook his head. “I don’t remember any of it.”
“I loved you,” Kyle said, trying to keep the desperation out of his voice. He was torn between relief and joy that Connor was alive and well and the feeling that having him back like this was almost worse than not having him back at all. It amounted to the same thing, really - the Connor that Kyle had known was dead.
“I’m sorry,” Connor said, and he sounded as if he truly meant it. There was a wall, though, a polite but firm shell that clearly said keep your distance. It hadn’t been there when Kyle had first called his name, not even when Connor had shoved him away, but it seemed insurmountable now.
“So am I,” Kyle replied. Replacing his mask and gloves, he did what he had done so many times now - in the face of a tragedy on Earth, he returned to the Corps. It was the only constant he had, the only source of continual stability. The Corps would always be there, even as everything else slipped away.
FINIS
Fandom: Green Lantern Corps
Characters: Kyle Rayner, Connor Hawke
Prompt: 71 - BROKEN
Word Count: 670
Rating: PG
Summary: Connor doesn’t remember a lot of things. Kyle is one of them.
Author's Notes: Post Green Arrow/Black Canary 14. Slash.
“Connor?”
He couldn’t quite take the blame for what had happened to Connor Hawke, but Kyle Rayner couldn’t help feeling that if he’d only been there, Connor would have been safe. Intellectually, he knew that he couldn’t have been, that there had been too much going on with the Corps and even in his own personal life, but he’d failed the person he cared most about.
“Yes?”
Connor turned around, and he was alive, and healthy, and awake. The memory of how he had been, in the hospital (empty eyes, a facsimile of life), flashed through Kyle’s mind and he shoved it away, along with the vague feelings of guilt that he hadn’t even known Connor was missing. Hal had told him later that Connor had been found and was all right, and after the flash of joy came the crush of wondering when he’d gotten so very out of touch with the world he called home.
That’s going to change now. This was a second chance, and he was going to do it right this time.
Kyle threw himself into Connor’s arms, a running leap he’d made countless times before. Connor caught him, hands firm against Kyle’s back as Kyle wrapped his legs around Connor’s waist. So familiar, and such a rush of memory - why hadn’t they done this in so long? Kyle cupped Connor’s face, gloves melting away for the touch of bare skin, and leaned down to kiss his beloved.
The look of shock in Connor’s eyes registered a split second before Connor shoved him away, one hand pressed against the back of his mouth. Kyle landed hard, too surprised to even think about using the ring to catch his fall.
“What the hell was that?” Connor demanded.
“What do you mean, what the hell was that?” Kyle snapped back, climbing to his feet. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here, but that’s no reason to push me away like that.”
“I don’t even know who you are!”
The worst part was that Connor was telling the truth - the ring helpfully confirmed that his vital signs were consistent with someone who believed what he was saying. “Kyle,” Kyle said softly. “Kyle Rayner. I’ve known you since you started using the name Green Arrow.”
“Green Lantern,” Connor said, some of the defensiveness easing out of his stance. “I… don’t remember much from … from before.” He wasn’t quite apologizing, but he wasn’t pushing Kyle away, either.
“You helped me look for my father,” Kyle told him. “You were the reason I tried so hard to get along with your father, when he came back the first time.” He and Connor had shared so much, and he tried to give him the memories, speaking rapidly, tongue all but tripping over itself as Connor simply stared at him without response.
Finally, Connor just shook his head. “I don’t remember any of it.”
“I loved you,” Kyle said, trying to keep the desperation out of his voice. He was torn between relief and joy that Connor was alive and well and the feeling that having him back like this was almost worse than not having him back at all. It amounted to the same thing, really - the Connor that Kyle had known was dead.
“I’m sorry,” Connor said, and he sounded as if he truly meant it. There was a wall, though, a polite but firm shell that clearly said keep your distance. It hadn’t been there when Kyle had first called his name, not even when Connor had shoved him away, but it seemed insurmountable now.
“So am I,” Kyle replied. Replacing his mask and gloves, he did what he had done so many times now - in the face of a tragedy on Earth, he returned to the Corps. It was the only constant he had, the only source of continual stability. The Corps would always be there, even as everything else slipped away.
FINIS