A poem from yesterday and questions regarding its curious Nature.

[nameless_me]

I know I posted this poem yesterday but I want everyones opinion on what I actually did with it you see I effectively wrote three poems, The first One consists of lines 1,2,7,8,13,14. The Second Poem is the four line stanza that appears inbetween these lines and the third is the comination of the two. So my question is this. Do You think Its a bit

Comments

[softest_fire]

you dont need a saviour because you are not damned, at least not on my watch... 'us' people must keep eachother in check and let our depression only reach the brink of interest and not the pit of despair (not to be confised with the pit of despair from the princess bride)

remind me to post some of my poetry ok...
i shall email it to you since im not that great at writing poetry...

i do write a lot of songs tho, isnt that the same thing?

now where is my photo!

yours
everly!!

[nameless_me]

I sometimes wonder if I'm not damned, the periods of missing time I have are increasing in frequency. They (my periods of lost time) are actually what the poem is about. I have no idea where I go or what I do during these times, and no matter how hard I try I can't remember.

>^..^<

[preciouzilusion]

Well I feel differently from the opinion expressed above. I particulary adore the line, "There is no savior for the damned.". I feel it coincides magnificently with the rest of your piece, and it allows the reader to feel the portrayal of your feelings..What did I get from the piece? It was about somebody who made descions in the past, most of them bad, for they had sorrow blinding them in the eyes, and no map to follow through. So as they crossed through each path, they would be bombarded by dreams, but regardless the dreams still passed by, as did time. And thus the memories lingered off too.

Beautiful, <3

[nameless_me]

>^..^<