Fic: Fall Down

Dec 12, 2010 18:54


Title: Fall Down
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Captain Jack Harkness, The Doctor
Rating: PG-13 for angst and suicidal thoughts
Spoilers: TW: 2x13 Exit Wounds and DW: 3x11 Utopia
Disclaimer: All these characters belong to RTD/Moffat/the BBC. Used for fun not profit.
Summary: Set after Exit Wounds, Jack doesn’t know how to cope and then the Doctor shows up just when Jack’s about to break.
Notes: This is a sorta song fic. The song used is All Fall Down by OneRepublic (which can be listened to here) and inspired this fic over a year ago. Also it’s for the prompt #64 Fall on my otp_100  prompt table.
Date Written: 11.12.2010


~*~

Jack sat with a glass of whiskey in his hand, watching the amber liquid swirl as he tipped the glass from side to side. He was alone. Gwen had gone home to her husband and Ianto had left after Jack had finally snapped and shouted at him. Jack felt bad about it but he couldn’t stand the looks Ianto kept shooting him, like his was going to break at any moment. Jack snorted, that’s exactly what was going to happen and he knew it.

Jack could close his eyes and imagine that they were still here, that they were all still here. Tosh, beautiful Tosh, sitting at her computer, eyes twinkling behind her glasses. And Owen, Jack could hear his shout as whatever he was performing an autopsy on, suddenly exploded over him. Jack opened his eyes to be greeted with the Hub in darkness, no laughter here anymore. Jack clenched his fists before quickly standing up and grabbing his coat. He strode across the Hub, never once glancing towards the medical bay; he hadn’t been in there since - since his world fell apart for what felt like the hundredth time.

Step out the door and it feels like rain
That's the sound (that's the sound) on your window pane
Take to the streets but you can't ignore
That's the sound (that's the sound) you're waiting for

Jack left the Hub through the Tourist Office; he pulled his coat collar up as he stepped outside. It was pouring with rain, black clouds overhead. Jack couldn’t help the bitter smile that pulled at his lips; it felt good that the weather should reflect his mood.

Jack didn’t know where he was heading. He walked to the edge of the bay, looking into the raging sea. It had been a while since he had died from drowning; as he stared into the murky depths he considered it. He could die, let go of the pain for a brief while, and Gwen and Ianto would never have to know.

He was halfway over the railing when he heard it. To begin with he thought it was the wind and rain playing tricks on him, but there it was, one of the most beautiful sounds in the Universe. Jack half considered throwing himself into the sea anyway, imagining the Doctor’s reaction to finding Jacks body floating in the water gave him some twisted sense of satisfaction. Jack stayed there, sitting on the railing, legs dangling over the water; if he was here for him then he’d have to find him. Jack wasn’t going to running after him anymore, he’d been let down enough times by the Doctor.

Jack heard his footsteps but refused to acknowledge him, let him come to Jack for a change.

“Jack?” The Doctor appeared at his side, looking at him, the Doctor quickly climbed onto the railing next to him. Jack glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, the Doctor’s hair was already plastered to his head and his coat looked heavy with the rain.

“What happened?” The Doctor reached out and put a hand on Jack’s shoulder, feeling him instantly tense under his touch.

“They’re dead.” Jack hated the fact that his voice broke as he said those two words. “You’d think that I’d be used to death by now.”

“You never get used to death.” The Doctor squeezed his shoulder; Jack could feel his unnatural warmth seeping through his coat and into his skin.

If ever your world starts crashing down
Whenever your world starts crashing down
Whenever your world starts crashing down
That's where you'll find me

Jack finally turned and looked at the man next to him. “It’s alright to be you. You can just leave when the crisis is over, you don’t have to pick up the pieces!” Jack turned around in one swift movement and jumped off the railing and onto the pavement behind him. He could hear the Doctor scrambling after him, feet slipping on the wet railings.

“Jack, that’s not fair!”

“Fair!” Jack turned to find the Doctor right behind him. He poked him in the chest, hard. “Fair! I’m having to rebuild a city whilst trying and to hold all that remains of my team together as I’m slowly falling apart. Oh and I also I have to deal with the fact that I was buried by my own brother for almost two thousand years!” Jack was shouting at the Doctor, faces close together. “Do you know what it’s like stuck in a cycle of death and resurrection for what feels like an eternity?! No, I don’t think you do!” Jack shoved at the Doctor again but he held his ground.

The Doctor blinked at him, the rain making him look pathetic. “I…” He then suddenly reached out and pulled Jack towards him, holding him tight. Jack instantly tried to struggle against the Doctor’s hold but he held him firm. Jack continued to struggle for a moment but it was like all the fight suddenly left him, Jack went limp and the Doctor had to tighten his grip as he unexpectedly found himself holding all of Jack’s weight. Slowly, he lowered them onto the cold, wet ground. The Doctor found himself muttering nonsense as he held Jack close.

(Yeah) Lost till you're found
Swim till you drown
Know that we all fall down
Love till you hate
Strong till you break
Know that we all fall down

Jack’s glad that his tears are lost in the rain that’s running down his face. He was holding onto the Doctor’s coat in clenched fists like it was his lifeline, his face buried in his neck. A part of him hated the fact that the Doctor was seeing him like this, weak, broken, slowly falling apart. But another part of him, a bigger part, knows that he needs this. He needs to let it all out before he goes mad, he needs to be in control for Gwen and Ianto. The only person he could ever let his guard down like this is here, holding him like a child. Jack thought he’d never get over what the Doctor told him, how he looked at him when they were at the end of the Universe. But here he is, and it would always be like this. They are both so old and Jack knows that the Doctor would always be willing to catch him before he falls, just like Jack would catch him.

Jack took a deep breath before looking up at the Doctor. He doesn’t know how long they’ve been sitting together like this; it could have been days as far as Jack was concerned. The rain was dripping from the Doctor’s hair and into his eyes. The Doctor was looking at him in concern as Jack leaned up and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. The Doctor stilled and raised an eyebrow at him.

Jack smiled, “Thank you.”

The Doctor smiled back at him. “Come on,” he said as he slowly untangled himself from Jack and stood up. “Let’s go back to the TARDIS and get some dry clothes.” He offered a hand to Jack who took it gratefully. Jack pulled him in a quick hug before the Doctor led the way to the TARDIS. Jack pulled back his shoulders, standing tall, he knows that it’s going to be difficult but he’ll make it through this, he has to.

fanfic: torchwood, character: captain jack harkness, character: ten, rating: pg-13, challenge: otp_100

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