sloppy love jingle
001. What is your full name?
Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, and I dare you to say something about it.
002. Where and when were you born?
August 17th, 2006, at the family home in Berkshire. It rained, Dad always says, and then my Mum says he only knows because he spent the day outside instead of holding her hand.
003. Who are/were your parents?
My mum's Astoria Greengrass-Malfoy, and she's a halfblood. She doesn't work, stays home and cooks and stuff. She likes that domestic stuff, sure, but I guess I worry about her, you know? It makes her...weird. Lonely, I guess. Just when my dad's gone, and I'm at school. Usually she's fine. And ah, yeah, about my dad. Yeah. That Malfoy. Fuck you, I don't want to talk about it.
004. Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?
Only child.
005. Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.
Slytherin dorms. I like it, little dark though. Anyway, I share the dorm with some nice guys. There's me, Roger Rosier, Jake Avery, and my best mate Al Sev Potter. Only fucking kid to beat me out for worst name in the year.
006. What is your occupation?
Uh. Student? Not sure what I'll do after that's all done with, though. Guess it's the best thing about the family being loaded, it doesn't really matter what I do.
007. Write a full physical description of yourself.
Tall, dark, handsome. What do you mean that's not good enough? Alright alright, fine. In all seriousness. I'm about average tall, not freakish or anything. Mum says I look just like me dad, except I've got her dark hair and mudded up blood, lucky me. Light eyes and skin, from being almost pureblood, and a couple of good bang-up scars on my arms from quidditch.
008. To which social class do you belong?
Upper.
009. Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?
Who me? I'm invincible. No? Alright, fine, I catch colds really easily. Every time it goes around, sometimes even twice.
010. Are you right- or left-handed?
Depends on what I'm doing, beautiful.
0>11. What does your voice sound like?
Like a male voice? Who pays that much attention, seriously? Least it's done cracking like it did back in fourth year. Almost killed me, ugh.
012. What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?
The feck kind of question is this, eh? Seriously, who the feck cares?
013. What do you have in your pockets?
Is that a come-on? Oh baby.
014. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?
Arrogance, I hear. Personally I think it's confidence, and part of my charm. Oh, also, I guess I'm sort of a neat freak. Everything has to have a place, and be in that place. Has to.
015. How would you describe your childhood in general?
Quiet.
016. What is your earliest memory?
Playing on the floor of the library while my dad worked. It was early morning, I think, because it was really foggy out the windows. And my dad was doing paperwork or something, back a long time ago when he worked at home. Shite, that really was early.
017. How much schooling have you had?
Seven year's worth.
018. Did you enjoy school?
It's alright. Not so much for the actual school part, but I like quidditch and I like the girls.
019. Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?
Hmmm. I, uh. Well, dunno, actually. It's like, with the quidditch stuff I just sort of picked it up once I got to school. Had nobody to play with back home, even though Mum and Dad did buy me a brooms. Sort of how it went with a lot of my skills, I guess. It was mostly just me at home, so I guess I really just taught myself most things.
020. While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.
My dad. He was my hero for ages when I was a kid. You don't even know, I wanted to be him when I grew up. Exactly like him. I guess it changed when I got old enough to learn about history and the second war and all that. Right after I went to Hogwarts, too, because all of a sudden then everybody hates my dad, and hates me because they hate my dad, and I don't want people to hate me.
021. While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?
Not too bad. My mum spoils me, which is nice. She always gives me my way. My dad's really strict, so I guess you can't say we're really close, but I don't hate him usually. High expectations is all. Really high expectations. And my grandparents are alright, on Mum's side. Grandma's muggle, so she never knows what to do, but it's really funny half the time. Grandpa died a while back when I was a kid, so I don't really remember him. But even that's better than the complete flat shite that I know about my dad's parents. They don't. Uh. Want to know me. Since Mum's halfblood and I'm, fucking, three quarters or what the fuck ever. I'm pureblood on paper, so fuck that. It really tears my dad up, which makes the hols suck.
022. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
My dad.
023. As a child, what were your favorite activities?
Quidditch, fishing, pretend. Anything outside, mostly.
024. As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?
Uh, dunno? Can't really psychoanalyze my childhood self, can I? Happy, I guess. Mum says I was a handful, always energetic and whining to be allowed outside.
025. As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like?
Ah, didn't have any? We live at the Manor in Berkshire, so it's not like there's neighbor kids around. And most of my family died in the wars, so it's not like I've got a trillion Weasly-style cousins. Mostly it was just me until I got to Hogwarts. If that counts, though, I guess Al would be my bestie. He's a chill kid, doesn't give me hell over my family name as long as I don't give him any about his. Lots of people think it's funny, I guess, me a Malfoy and him a Potter, but you know? Lots in common, us two.
026. When and with whom was your first kiss?
I want to say...Allie...no...was it...Alice? Ashley? Abby? Well whoever she was, it was terrifically special and she meant loads to me, I'm sure.
027. Are you a virgin?
Next question.
028. If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today.
Just a normal human, I guess, except the magic bit, which isn't really that special. It was always just sort of assumed I'd be magic, with two magic parents. I think the first thing I did was magic a bunch of things off their shelves in the middle of a tantrum when I was about four.
029. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?
Uh. Besides, you know, being born, it would have to be that Christmas I snuck one of the history books home and read up all about the wars. I was about thirteen, and all of a sudden I guess I just really realized all the family history and why everyone hates us. Never saw my family the same way.
030. Who has had the most influence on you?
My dad. I mean, he sort of doomed me with the family name, didn't he?
031. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Winning five sickles for betting Al that I could get the Gryffindor captain to snog me after one of the matches.
032. What is your greatest regret?
I guess...well I know it's not my fault and there's really nothing that I could do about it, but I guess I regret not being real pureblooded, so my dad wouldn't have to pick which family he loves more. Me and mum are just sort of bringing him down all the time, even if he really loves her.
033. What is the most evil thing you have ever done?
Knocked out Rosier. He had it coming though, letting his mouth get away from him like that.
034. Do you have a criminal record of any kind?
Not a fecking chance. Dad'd string me up if I did. He could lose his job if me or mum get into any trouble.
035. When was the time you were the most frightened?
Last time Dad was really mad at me for bragging to a mate about my family. He was furious, we rowed for days. By which I mean, he was mad at me for days and I kept out of his sight. Apparently our family isn't allowed to be proud at all ever again.
036. What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?
Sorting, first year. That old bird McGonagall read out my name and the whole hall went dead fecking silent. Guess everybody thought Mum and Dad'd ship me off to Durmstrang or something. It was terrifying to everybody to be looking at me like that when I got sorted. And when the Hat finally said Slytherin, all of a sudden everybody's shouting stuff like how they knew it, and once a Malfoy always a Malfoy.
037. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?
My past, specifically? Nothing. I didn't do anything wrong, which is why it's a shite deal to have my surname.
038. What is your best memory?
First quidditch game of the season, fifth year. It was my first year playing Keeper, I was a Catcher for a year, and a shite one at that. But Mum and Dad came out to see me play and we did just excellently. We didn't get the Cup that year, but that first game is still the best I've ever played.
039. What is your worst memory?
Shopping for school things right before my first year at Hogwarts. I didn't really get much off the grounds when I was a kid, so seeing all those people and just...just the way they treated us, you know? Like we were poisonous, or diseased. Just shite. So fucking awful.
040. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?
Pessimistic, I guess. Realism, I call it. I mean, the world's not fucking rainbows and sparkles, right, so why pretend.
041. What is your greatest fear?
Fucking up. I mean. I don't want to be just one more typical Malfoy.
042. What are your religious views?
Try nonexistent.
043. What are your political views?
Also nonexistent. Fuck that, I'm rich, it doesn't matter to me.
044. What are your views on sex?
What's wrong with it?
045. Are you able to kill?
Dunno, never tried.
046. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?
Murder. More than that. Geonocide. Just big large mindless deaths without any emotion.
047. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?
Sure. I've loved all the girls I've fooled around with.
048. What do you believe makes a successful life?
Taking care of a family, well.
049. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings?
Believe me, if you're doing something I don't like, you'll hear about it.
050. Do you have any biases or prejudices?
It's the world that has a prejudice against me. I'm just trying to get by.
051. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?
Apologize for my family. I wasn't alive, I didn't do anything. It's not my apology.
052. Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?
Family.
053. In general, how do you treat others?
Depends how they treat me first. If they're ponces and annoy me, I'm going to make sure they know it. If they're alright, I'll appreciate it.
054. Who is the most important person in your life, and why?
Ah, I am? That sounds really arrogant, and maybe it is, but I've got to make sure I'm alright before I can do anything for anybody else.
055. Who is the person you respect the most, and why?
My dad, by far. I mean. To just...keep going like he does? With the whole fecking world hating him, he still gets up every morning and goes to work and does amazing at his job. No matter what everybody else thinks, he carries himself just so well. With pride.
056. Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend?
Al. Best mate since first year. We get each other into loads of trouble sometimes, sure, but it's really cool to know that if shit goes down, Al's got my back.
057. Do you have a spouse or significant other?
Free bird, and glad for it, too.
058. Have you ever been in love?
Love? Sure, sure. I mean. Maybe it wasn't that whole, you know, fall flat on your face love love, but I mean, that's fairy tale stuff, right?
059. What do you look for in a potential lover?
Honestly? Looks. I'm not really a serious committed relationship type of guy. If I was, I guess I'd look for somebody who's not going to flip out about my family, somebody confident, somebody happy. I love a little bit of attitude, too.
060. How close are you to your family?
Not very. I mean. I love them, I know they love me, but Dad's gone a lot, Mom's weird a lot, my grandparents either live in Manchester and we hardly see them or live in London and never want to see us.
061. Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not?
Worst. Nightmare. Hoshit. No babies, please.
062. Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?
Uhhh. I...don't know? My dad, I guess, if it was really bad, but for the most part I'd rather deal with my own problems and not worry Mum or get chewed out by dad.
063. Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?
Dad, I guess. I mean, he's already given up a lot for me and my mum, I know he'd do anything for us.
064. If you died or went missing, who would miss you?
The fam, I guess. And my friends. The usual.
065. Who is the person you despise the most, and why?
Voldemort. I know, he's fecking dead, I get it. But he's the one who ruined my dad's whole life, and made him this way, made our family this way.
066. Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?
You kidding me? I'm so stubborn, I'll argue for days if I think I'm right.
067. Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?
Uh, duh. I'm Slytherin quidditch captain, I love being the leader. It's nice to know that everybody's watching me.
068. Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?
Oh yeah. Less pressure.
069. Do you care what others think of you?
Way more than I should. I want people to know me, and like me, especially being a Malfoy. I want to prove all their assumptions that I'm a neo-Death Eater and shite like that totally wrong.
070. What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?
Quidditch. Watching it, playing it, reading about it. I love quidditch.
071. What is your most treasured possession?
My broom, probably, or my wand. Or my dog, Blue, but she doesn't really count as a possession, since I can't pack her up and take her to school with me.
072. What is your favorite color?
Green of course.
073. What is your favorite food?
I really love seafood, especially crab.
074. What, if anything, do you like to read?
Actually I really love History of Magic, geeky as that might be. It's fascinating. Even the really really old stuff, I love reading about the old goblin wars and things.
075. What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?
QUIDDITCH!! Or on rainy days, gobstones or exploding snap or girls. Not chess, I'm rubbish at chess.
076. Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit?
Drink socially, don't smoke, never drugs. You can't play sports if you're hacking up a lung or a liver.
077. How do you spend a typical Saturday night?
Out with the boys or some lucky girl
078. What makes you laugh?
First years, when Blue chases her tail, muggle transportation systems, people who are cute when they're angry.
079. What, if anything, shocks or offends you?
The glaring collective stupidity of the wizarding world.
080. What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?
Oh baby.
081. How do you deal with stress?
I get angry. I know, that's a really stupid way to deal with stress, but it's true. I get angry and have to go, usually outside but anywhere really, to get away and calm down before I do something stupid. I guess I have a temper problem.
082. Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?
Always need a plan. I hate not knowing what's coming next. Part of the neat-freak thing, I guess.
083. What are your pet peeves?
Stereotypes and assumptions and people who eat their main course with the salad fork.
084. Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?
Wake up. Go run. Get back. Shower. Breakfast. Morning classes. Lunch. Evening classes. Quidditch practice. Homework. Read. Sleep.
085. What is your greatest strength as a person?
I'm really organized. I've always got a plan. I make backup plans in case something goes wrong.
086. What is your greatest weakness?
If something happens I'm not prepared for, I have no idea how to handle it.
087. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Be more pureblood so my dad wouldn't fight with his parents over me.
088. Are you generally introverted or extroverted?
Extroverted.
089. Are you generally organized or messy?
Organized. My dormmates are all slobs, but my part of the room is always neat.
090. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.
I'm good at quidditch, girls, and history, not always in that order, and bad at defense against the dark arts, chess, and family.
091. Do you like yourself?
Sure I do. It's everyone else with the problem.
092. What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that RPG characters do)? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons...)
I guess the reason I do a lot of things is because I want to make a name for myself -- myself. I don't want to be Scorpius Malfoy, Draco's son, I want to be, I dunno, Scorpius Malfoy, quidditch star, or Scorpius Malfoy, historian, or Scorpius Malfoy, Auror, or something cool and not related to my dad.
093. What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?
No clue. I've got all the Slytherin ambition, sure, but I just want...everything. I want it all, and I don't know where I'll start, but just watch, I'll have it.
094. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
No clue there either.
095. If you could choose, how would you want to die?
Blaze of glory.
096. If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.
Say bye to the fam, give my stuff to Al, get laid. Not necessarily in that order.
097. What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?
For being me. And not my father.
098. What three words best describe your personality?
Proud, organized, passionate.
099. What three words would others probably use to describe you?
Arrogant, jerkoff, Malfoy.
100. If you could, what advice would you, the player, give to your character?
Score, bb, stop worrying what everyone else thinks and start figuring out what you think.