Skip Beat: Kyouko/Shou [Asunder, part 3]
In honor of chapter 145!
Title: Asunder, part 3
Author: namistai8
Character/Pairing/Group: Kyouko/Shou, with mentions of Kyouko/Ren and Kyouko/Reino
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer/Notes/Whatever: Based on chapter 140 - 145. Yes, even for 145. If you don't want to be spoiled, then don't read.
Asunder, part 1 | Asunder, part 2
You / You and Me / You and me won't be unhappy / If I only could, make a deal with God / And get him to swap our places/ Be running up that road / Be running up that hill / With no problems.
~Placebo
His singles all debut at number one. The world has gone crazy for him. Everyone gushes about how inspired his songs feel, the 'depth of feeling' in his songs, the lushness of his voice, a certain 'je n'sais qois' that sends shivers through them. It's like he's singing to a real flesh and blood woman, instead of some amorphous muse. Each song is a caress to a pair of lips, a light skimming of fingers on a cheek, a gentle nuzzle in the hollow of her neck.
Before when he sang, he didn't think of anyone - everything was just a white flash of fame that he had to grasp on to.
Now when he sings, he thinks of every word being whispered, his breath making the delicate shell of her ear warm, the air moving her hair, feeling the warmth of her rise body a mere inches away. Every song feels like a seduction. Every song feels like a declaration of love.
He just doesn't know it, because he can't admit to himself that he pictures her everytime he sings.
***
He hadn't meant to call her. He hated sweets. He hated chocolates. He didn't even need more. He was running out of garbage bags actually. And it's not like it mattered who she was giving chocolates to.
And he wouldn't have even spared it a second thought if Pochi hadn't brought it up. Honestly, handmade chocolates in this day and age? Patently ridiculous.
But he couldn't stop the prickly feeling between his shoulder blades or the irritation at the thought that his arch-rvial, Tsugura Ren, might, just might receive obligatory chocolates from her is like an itch. Really, wouldn't it just be unforgivable if she gave him chocolates just the same way she used to do for him?
He can't seem to ignore it. He rolls his shoulders, and it's still there. It's like a worm, at the core of an apple, eating away at the insides. Really, it would be unforgivable if she treated them the same. Because they are not. The itch intensifies.
It's really starting to really irritate him. Why would such a little inconsequential thing matter?
He picks up the phone.
***
When he finally gets her on the phone, he certainly doesn't expect her to scream into the phone, "YOU BEAGLE! YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN ONLY GET YOUR REWARD IF YOU ARE ABLE TO DO 'PAW' AND 'BEG' AND 'STAY'!! IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WAIT PATIENTLY, DON'T EVEN DREAM OF GETTING A HANDMADE CHOCOLATE FROM ME!!"
He's so shocked he doesn't even notice that she hung up on him.
***
He stays up all night, trying to make sense of it. He can't even begin to think of what the hell might have happened between that weirdo and her that she would be making him handmade chocolates. Why would a girl give handmade chocolates to someone they hated? It didn't make sense. It didn't make sense at all. Sure, they were both dark, frightening and weird, but that didn't mean ANYTHING. Of course, that bastard had stalked her. But she had hated it. And hated him. Almost (but not quite) as much as she hated Shou!
That doesn't stop the image of her, wrapped up in the Beagle's arms, smiling.
His thoughts circle like carrion birds all night, squawking, ominous, threatening.
***
He even asks his agent what it means for a woman to give handmade chocolates to a guy she hates. Maybe a woman's perspective would help. Because he really can't understand. It's not logical. There can be no reason on Earth that could possibly explain why she is giving that piss-poor imitation of a singer HANDMADE CHOCOLATES.
His manager's words are a punch to the gut.
"That girl is just pretending she hates him, and actually doesn't. In fact, she might just be about it in an unorthodox way, and her 'hatred' is stemming from too much love that she doesn't know what to do with. And I think that she probably wanted a normal relationship with him the whole time. So, if that boy and girl were honest with each other, I think they would build an ideal relationship together."
It made sense. The Beagle did have the same kind of face and voice that Shou did, which is why he was able to compete so successfully.
It just makes the visions of him and her dancing together whirl even more feverishly in his brain.
***
He'd always thought that the only one he ever needed to worry about was Tsugura Ren.
But it was that Beagle that was receiving handmade chocolates.
He'd always know Tsugura was a loser. And this just confirmed it. Kyoko had gotten snached under that idiot's nose.
Absolutely unforgiveable.
***
It was fate. When he runs into her at Fuji TV, carrying chocolates, his hand reaches for them. Because he needs proof of what is really happening.
And the reality is so much harder to bear.
He screams at her - anger, rage, frustration. Because he can't understand, why he has lost. Why his existence is no longer important to her. He can't fathom having her care for someone else. He thought he pervaded every inch of her heart. Everything just comes pouring out - and he can't stop. He doesn't want to stop. He can't understand. Doesn't want to understand.
But her answer stops him cold. "How dare you act like you're blameless!! You're the one that made the openings in my heart."
And the truth of the words slide so effortlessly into him like a keenly honed blade. And he feels bitterness, grief, self-recrimination, hatred, and a bunch of million emotions, leap into his throat like fish, taught on a line. If he gives too much, then they will runaway from him. If he doesn't, the line might snap. He can feel that he's letting her slip away from him, and for a minute, he's afraid that he'll turn around and she will no longer be running after him.
He refuses to let himself bleed in front of them and lets his anger carry him out. He hugs his pride tight against his tattered heart, instinctively feeling that he's been the unwitting cause of it all.
***
His manager's words snap him out of it. "While you're here denying things, the bond between those two is becoming deeper, and deeper. Are you fine with this? At this rate, you'd lose your place in her heart. Though, you might still be able to make it in time right now."
He feels the truth in them. The same way he felt the truth of Kyoko's words the other day. It's his fault. He did this.
And part of him knows that it was the right thing to do. She would still be that same boring woman, eager to please, with no dreams and no ambitions of her own. No personality. Instead of being someone, so... vibrant and alive. It's not like he can go back in the past, and change it.
He felt that it was enough to have his existence be bigger than anyone else in her heart.
But if he's truthful with himself, he knows that is no longer enough. Too late, he realizes he's been complacent. Oh, he knew that Tsugura was interested in her, but hadn't made a move yet. He hadn't expected that weirdo to keep up with his sick obsession with her.
He certainly hadn't expected her to be snatched away.
Like hell was he going to allow that to happen.
***
He makes every selection carefully. He knows its atonement - for every time he forgot to bring her flowers, for all those years when he should have and didn't. Moth Orchids for every time when he should have held her hand. Sparkling Beads for every time he should have been there. Freshwater Pearls for everytime he should have said something. Anything.
He doesn't care if he has to buy out all the flower shops in Tokyo.
***
He intentionally makes his statement provocative. He has to hear it from her - that she's dating that bastard. That would make it official.
Then that way, he can snatch her away. Fair and square.
Of course, it doesn't go as planned. She explains it to him. In excruciating detail. She's so angry and upset at the thought that she migth be possibly dating that lunatic that she draws a very explicit diagram. He almost wants to laugh in relief. "I hate you" chocolates? On Valentine's Day?
But he also has to make sure that Tsugura didn't get chocolates.
And again, her answer is unexpected. And it makes him feel like the ground has dropped under him. He can tell from her refusal, the way she holds her small frame, the blush that has overtaken her ears that IT mattered. While his fears with the Beagle may be unfounded, he knows deep in his heart, that she is harbouring some kind of feeling for her senpai. The fear circle his heart like barbed wire, piercing too-tender spots.
He's losing her. And he knows this time it's for real.
And it makes him desperate. He has to make her understand, even when he doesn't understand himself, even when he can't even put into words what he's feeling. He can't even begin to make sense of it. Suddenly she's too precious, too important, too everything. His feelings swallow him whole, and he has to make her see. It's different this time. She's different. He's different.
But he can't put it into words, that she'll just misunderstand or throw back in his face. He said before that he cared before, and there was no way she was going to believe him now. Not after what happened. How he wasn't sure before. But now, now he feels things in every fiber of his being. So much that it might kill him. It would be ironic, if he wasn't so damn close to falling apart. The despair rises and threatens to break him.
So he throws caution to the wind, hoping that actions speak louder than words. He kisses her - like he should have kissed her long ago. His mouth, warm, firm, possessive, sure. Because he's sure now. He kisses with too many regrets about the past, with no thought for the present other than being with her, and with the promise of a future together. He doesn't kiss her with everything that he has, doesn't pour everything into that single kiss, but with enough fire so that she doesn't take it lightly, placing his brand on her - to remind her and everyone else.
Because he's not taking it lightly this time. There's too much at stake. But he's not going to runaway or evade. Because he knows he's run out of time.
This time, he's gonna play. For keeps.
Author's Notes: *pumps fist in the air* Let's just say that 144/145 is great for Kyouko/Shou. Regardless of who she ends up with, Shou has that.
And really, mechguki said it best: "The fainthearted never get thy maiden. Shou has already made his move. Ren must react, and make his own move, or risk losing his queen. He can either choose to turn away, or take a chance. Speak now, or forever hold your peace."
Shou made a move. A real declaration of feelings. Whether or not it is reciprocated is another matter. But he put himself out there, and that takes guts. I applaud that much.
Reviews and comments welcome! Feed the bunnies!
Crossposted to skip_beat
Title: Asunder, part 3
Author: namistai8
Character/Pairing/Group: Kyouko/Shou, with mentions of Kyouko/Ren and Kyouko/Reino
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer/Notes/Whatever: Based on chapter 140 - 145. Yes, even for 145. If you don't want to be spoiled, then don't read.
Asunder, part 1 | Asunder, part 2
You / You and Me / You and me won't be unhappy / If I only could, make a deal with God / And get him to swap our places/ Be running up that road / Be running up that hill / With no problems.
~Placebo
His singles all debut at number one. The world has gone crazy for him. Everyone gushes about how inspired his songs feel, the 'depth of feeling' in his songs, the lushness of his voice, a certain 'je n'sais qois' that sends shivers through them. It's like he's singing to a real flesh and blood woman, instead of some amorphous muse. Each song is a caress to a pair of lips, a light skimming of fingers on a cheek, a gentle nuzzle in the hollow of her neck.
Before when he sang, he didn't think of anyone - everything was just a white flash of fame that he had to grasp on to.
Now when he sings, he thinks of every word being whispered, his breath making the delicate shell of her ear warm, the air moving her hair, feeling the warmth of her rise body a mere inches away. Every song feels like a seduction. Every song feels like a declaration of love.
He just doesn't know it, because he can't admit to himself that he pictures her everytime he sings.
***
He hadn't meant to call her. He hated sweets. He hated chocolates. He didn't even need more. He was running out of garbage bags actually. And it's not like it mattered who she was giving chocolates to.
And he wouldn't have even spared it a second thought if Pochi hadn't brought it up. Honestly, handmade chocolates in this day and age? Patently ridiculous.
But he couldn't stop the prickly feeling between his shoulder blades or the irritation at the thought that his arch-rvial, Tsugura Ren, might, just might receive obligatory chocolates from her is like an itch. Really, wouldn't it just be unforgivable if she gave him chocolates just the same way she used to do for him?
He can't seem to ignore it. He rolls his shoulders, and it's still there. It's like a worm, at the core of an apple, eating away at the insides. Really, it would be unforgivable if she treated them the same. Because they are not. The itch intensifies.
It's really starting to really irritate him. Why would such a little inconsequential thing matter?
He picks up the phone.
***
When he finally gets her on the phone, he certainly doesn't expect her to scream into the phone, "YOU BEAGLE! YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN ONLY GET YOUR REWARD IF YOU ARE ABLE TO DO 'PAW' AND 'BEG' AND 'STAY'!! IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WAIT PATIENTLY, DON'T EVEN DREAM OF GETTING A HANDMADE CHOCOLATE FROM ME!!"
He's so shocked he doesn't even notice that she hung up on him.
***
He stays up all night, trying to make sense of it. He can't even begin to think of what the hell might have happened between that weirdo and her that she would be making him handmade chocolates. Why would a girl give handmade chocolates to someone they hated? It didn't make sense. It didn't make sense at all. Sure, they were both dark, frightening and weird, but that didn't mean ANYTHING. Of course, that bastard had stalked her. But she had hated it. And hated him. Almost (but not quite) as much as she hated Shou!
That doesn't stop the image of her, wrapped up in the Beagle's arms, smiling.
His thoughts circle like carrion birds all night, squawking, ominous, threatening.
***
He even asks his agent what it means for a woman to give handmade chocolates to a guy she hates. Maybe a woman's perspective would help. Because he really can't understand. It's not logical. There can be no reason on Earth that could possibly explain why she is giving that piss-poor imitation of a singer HANDMADE CHOCOLATES.
His manager's words are a punch to the gut.
"That girl is just pretending she hates him, and actually doesn't. In fact, she might just be about it in an unorthodox way, and her 'hatred' is stemming from too much love that she doesn't know what to do with. And I think that she probably wanted a normal relationship with him the whole time. So, if that boy and girl were honest with each other, I think they would build an ideal relationship together."
It made sense. The Beagle did have the same kind of face and voice that Shou did, which is why he was able to compete so successfully.
It just makes the visions of him and her dancing together whirl even more feverishly in his brain.
***
He'd always thought that the only one he ever needed to worry about was Tsugura Ren.
But it was that Beagle that was receiving handmade chocolates.
He'd always know Tsugura was a loser. And this just confirmed it. Kyoko had gotten snached under that idiot's nose.
Absolutely unforgiveable.
***
It was fate. When he runs into her at Fuji TV, carrying chocolates, his hand reaches for them. Because he needs proof of what is really happening.
And the reality is so much harder to bear.
He screams at her - anger, rage, frustration. Because he can't understand, why he has lost. Why his existence is no longer important to her. He can't fathom having her care for someone else. He thought he pervaded every inch of her heart. Everything just comes pouring out - and he can't stop. He doesn't want to stop. He can't understand. Doesn't want to understand.
But her answer stops him cold. "How dare you act like you're blameless!! You're the one that made the openings in my heart."
And the truth of the words slide so effortlessly into him like a keenly honed blade. And he feels bitterness, grief, self-recrimination, hatred, and a bunch of million emotions, leap into his throat like fish, taught on a line. If he gives too much, then they will runaway from him. If he doesn't, the line might snap. He can feel that he's letting her slip away from him, and for a minute, he's afraid that he'll turn around and she will no longer be running after him.
He refuses to let himself bleed in front of them and lets his anger carry him out. He hugs his pride tight against his tattered heart, instinctively feeling that he's been the unwitting cause of it all.
***
His manager's words snap him out of it. "While you're here denying things, the bond between those two is becoming deeper, and deeper. Are you fine with this? At this rate, you'd lose your place in her heart. Though, you might still be able to make it in time right now."
He feels the truth in them. The same way he felt the truth of Kyoko's words the other day. It's his fault. He did this.
And part of him knows that it was the right thing to do. She would still be that same boring woman, eager to please, with no dreams and no ambitions of her own. No personality. Instead of being someone, so... vibrant and alive. It's not like he can go back in the past, and change it.
He felt that it was enough to have his existence be bigger than anyone else in her heart.
But if he's truthful with himself, he knows that is no longer enough. Too late, he realizes he's been complacent. Oh, he knew that Tsugura was interested in her, but hadn't made a move yet. He hadn't expected that weirdo to keep up with his sick obsession with her.
He certainly hadn't expected her to be snatched away.
Like hell was he going to allow that to happen.
***
He makes every selection carefully. He knows its atonement - for every time he forgot to bring her flowers, for all those years when he should have and didn't. Moth Orchids for every time when he should have held her hand. Sparkling Beads for every time he should have been there. Freshwater Pearls for everytime he should have said something. Anything.
He doesn't care if he has to buy out all the flower shops in Tokyo.
***
He intentionally makes his statement provocative. He has to hear it from her - that she's dating that bastard. That would make it official.
Then that way, he can snatch her away. Fair and square.
Of course, it doesn't go as planned. She explains it to him. In excruciating detail. She's so angry and upset at the thought that she migth be possibly dating that lunatic that she draws a very explicit diagram. He almost wants to laugh in relief. "I hate you" chocolates? On Valentine's Day?
But he also has to make sure that Tsugura didn't get chocolates.
And again, her answer is unexpected. And it makes him feel like the ground has dropped under him. He can tell from her refusal, the way she holds her small frame, the blush that has overtaken her ears that IT mattered. While his fears with the Beagle may be unfounded, he knows deep in his heart, that she is harbouring some kind of feeling for her senpai. The fear circle his heart like barbed wire, piercing too-tender spots.
He's losing her. And he knows this time it's for real.
And it makes him desperate. He has to make her understand, even when he doesn't understand himself, even when he can't even put into words what he's feeling. He can't even begin to make sense of it. Suddenly she's too precious, too important, too everything. His feelings swallow him whole, and he has to make her see. It's different this time. She's different. He's different.
But he can't put it into words, that she'll just misunderstand or throw back in his face. He said before that he cared before, and there was no way she was going to believe him now. Not after what happened. How he wasn't sure before. But now, now he feels things in every fiber of his being. So much that it might kill him. It would be ironic, if he wasn't so damn close to falling apart. The despair rises and threatens to break him.
So he throws caution to the wind, hoping that actions speak louder than words. He kisses her - like he should have kissed her long ago. His mouth, warm, firm, possessive, sure. Because he's sure now. He kisses with too many regrets about the past, with no thought for the present other than being with her, and with the promise of a future together. He doesn't kiss her with everything that he has, doesn't pour everything into that single kiss, but with enough fire so that she doesn't take it lightly, placing his brand on her - to remind her and everyone else.
Because he's not taking it lightly this time. There's too much at stake. But he's not going to runaway or evade. Because he knows he's run out of time.
This time, he's gonna play. For keeps.
Author's Notes: *pumps fist in the air* Let's just say that 144/145 is great for Kyouko/Shou. Regardless of who she ends up with, Shou has that.
And really, mechguki said it best: "The fainthearted never get thy maiden. Shou has already made his move. Ren must react, and make his own move, or risk losing his queen. He can either choose to turn away, or take a chance. Speak now, or forever hold your peace."
Shou made a move. A real declaration of feelings. Whether or not it is reciprocated is another matter. But he put himself out there, and that takes guts. I applaud that much.
Reviews and comments welcome! Feed the bunnies!
Crossposted to skip_beat