Being a Clod

[namuras]

"Love seeketh not itself to please

Comments

[sugar_candy]

All you can do is wait, but it is great that you are waiting to be there for her. Sometimes people just do need time, and it is important that people do not give up on them during that time.

[namuras]

Thanks for the encouragement, stepping back and giving her space is definitely the right thing to do right now. I won't give up on her.

[suddenlydizzy]

I went through a similar situation...I tried to help, and be there for her, and she just seemed really distant..I think she really wanted to be strong and deal with it on her own, but it made her feel "safe" knowing I was there if she fell..she will call if she needs you...and it's good that she has a friend like you thats concerned...

[namuras]

My trying to help is the problem. She's tells me that I'm not a good listener, that I have to stop trying to fix everything. It's something I'm going to have to learn how to do.

[ruhdwulf]

Just being available... present as a witness almost... is often what is needed. I'm still learning that I cannot solve any one else's problems. Only the individual can. We can only make ourselves available when someone reaches out. To do more, too often, makes things worse rather than better.

Rather than run, perhaps you simply need to stand back a respectful distance.

My two cents (May be worth less, depending on your exchange rate. Results will vary. Test in an inconspicuous place. Some settling of contents may have occurred in shipping. Keep fingers clear of moving blades.)

[namuras]

That's exactly what she needs. She just read my post however, and thinks I wrote this to be melodramatic. I wrote it to tell her that I love her, and I'll be there when she needs me.

[ruhdwulf]

Yup. That's about all you can do and genuinely wish the person the best.

[n1blueye]

I asked you to step back because, like I said, this is not a problem that has a solution..Its a temporary sadness that will just fade..I know that, theres no solution save time..
I told you all this...I told you I am not running or pushing you away..I am telling you that the situation is handled..theres nothing more to say about it..
This is melodramatic..You are fishing for support because I told you that I don't need you on this..Its all or nothing with you..I don't want to talk about it so I am obviously pushing you away for good..
At least you have all your supporters here who think you are doing the right thing..
I am so completely disappointed at this post and at the way things were handled yesterday and you calling my house..
Listen when I tell you something and maybe it won't seem like I am pushing you away
I'm thoroughly pissed off now

[namuras]

You're right. I don't listen well enough. I charge off trying to fix things, and sometimes I end up stepping on things I don't intend to. I am sorry. I will be a better listener in the future (I hope.)

I didn't know why you wanted me to go away (I still don't), all I knew was that you were in pain and sadness, and I didn’t know what to do. I'm sorry I made things worse by trying to call you. I just remembered what you told me once about friends not giving up on friends.

If I'm fishing for support, it's support for you. Everyone here agrees that you need your space, and the best thing for me to do, is give it to you. I'll shut up now. If you want to talk, I really will just listen this time.

[socialkittn]

why did you add me to your friend's list if you dont even leave comments?

[namuras]

You must have said something at sometime in the recent past that made me want to follow your journal. That, or I liked a photo you published somewhere, and wanted to remember you. I'm relatively shy, so just because I haven't commented in your journal yet, doesn't mean that I won't comment in the future. Also don't feel like you have to add me as your friend, I didn't ask for that.