This will be my most emotional entry ever.
I wish I was never stupid. I wish I was never born. I wish I wasn't how I was. I wish this never happened.
As I type up this entry, I can't help but cry. I don't even know what to do at this point. Why do things happen the way they do? Why did I have to do it? I'm done for now. My Life is about to leave me. I can't help but cry and ask for forgiveness.
How did a guy like me even end up with a real honest girl like Kim. I wasn't such a great guy to begin with but I seemed to be so to her. She saw me as the light that lit up her day. Today I broke that light, and I will never forgive myself. She probably wouldn't forgive me.
Before she even met me I was a no good cheater. Cheater in everything I did. She had to be cautious about me but I promised her I never would ever. Eventhough I cheated WITH her. I knew she thought I would and I swear it wouldn't happen. I fucken regret it so much. This was the biggest skeleton in my closet. Why the fuck don't I have the balls to tell her the truth. I'm nothing but a two time liar to her. It breaks me inside because i'm such an idiot.
I really wish I could die right now. As I look at this necklace that was left on my desk; I can't help but cry so much. Everything reminds me about her right now. I can barely even structure this damn entry right. I fucked up real bad and I so fucken regret it. I could barely even work today. I felt so woozy while trying to help out and make some drinks. My family knew that I was so sad and everytime they asked me about it, I would just excuse myself and just cry so hard. I can't stop thinking about the Love of my Life. The person I waited for when she got out of school. The person I want to spend my whole life with.
I might not even see or speak to her again. She'll never forgive me for what I did. I can't even forgive myself. Why did I live the life I did? I just want to bash my head into the wall. I really want to die more than anyone right now. I really didn't even want to come home tonight. I really can't stay in here for long. I fucked up and I fucked up bad. I can't even talk to my family because this is all my fault. All I can do is listen to these depressing songs.
She wouldn't tolerate it. She told me that. Why the fuck did I have to go and do it. I really can't breathe right now. I just wish this day never happened. I wish this wasn't real. I really need her right now. She doesn't think so because i'm a fucken scumbag. I can't stress enough about how much I regret this. Either way I knew if I told her it would go downhill from here. I'm fucken worthless. I never deserved such an angel.
My eyes are full blown in tears. I just want to crawl up into a ball and be by myself for a while. I never deserved her. She shed her light on me and I fucked it all up. I lived in a lie. I really want to kill myself. I don't even know what to say anymore. I was never worthy of her. Never.
I will never be able to gain her trust. I wish she could forgive me but I know she can't. Right now I'm just going to be jogging around the neighborhood. I'll start from Landess and come back around. See you guys when I get tired.
I'm so fucked for life. I never wanted to hurt you...
I wish someone shoots me as I jog. I don't deserve to live right now.
How I wish things never happened....
As I type up this entry, I can't help but cry. I don't even know what to do at this point. Why do things happen the way they do? Why did I have to do it? I'm done for now. My Life is about to leave me. I can't help but cry and ask for forgiveness.
How did a guy like me even end up with a real honest girl like Kim. I wasn't such a great guy to begin with but I seemed to be so to her. She saw me as the light that lit up her day. Today I broke that light, and I will never forgive myself. She probably wouldn't forgive me.
Before she even met me I was a no good cheater. Cheater in everything I did. She had to be cautious about me but I promised her I never would ever. Eventhough I cheated WITH her. I knew she thought I would and I swear it wouldn't happen. I fucken regret it so much. This was the biggest skeleton in my closet. Why the fuck don't I have the balls to tell her the truth. I'm nothing but a two time liar to her. It breaks me inside because i'm such an idiot.
I really wish I could die right now. As I look at this necklace that was left on my desk; I can't help but cry so much. Everything reminds me about her right now. I can barely even structure this damn entry right. I fucked up real bad and I so fucken regret it. I could barely even work today. I felt so woozy while trying to help out and make some drinks. My family knew that I was so sad and everytime they asked me about it, I would just excuse myself and just cry so hard. I can't stop thinking about the Love of my Life. The person I waited for when she got out of school. The person I want to spend my whole life with.
I might not even see or speak to her again. She'll never forgive me for what I did. I can't even forgive myself. Why did I live the life I did? I just want to bash my head into the wall. I really want to die more than anyone right now. I really didn't even want to come home tonight. I really can't stay in here for long. I fucked up and I fucked up bad. I can't even talk to my family because this is all my fault. All I can do is listen to these depressing songs.
She wouldn't tolerate it. She told me that. Why the fuck did I have to go and do it. I really can't breathe right now. I just wish this day never happened. I wish this wasn't real. I really need her right now. She doesn't think so because i'm a fucken scumbag. I can't stress enough about how much I regret this. Either way I knew if I told her it would go downhill from here. I'm fucken worthless. I never deserved such an angel.
My eyes are full blown in tears. I just want to crawl up into a ball and be by myself for a while. I never deserved her. She shed her light on me and I fucked it all up. I lived in a lie. I really want to kill myself. I don't even know what to say anymore. I was never worthy of her. Never.
I will never be able to gain her trust. I wish she could forgive me but I know she can't. Right now I'm just going to be jogging around the neighborhood. I'll start from Landess and come back around. See you guys when I get tired.
I'm so fucked for life. I never wanted to hurt you...
I wish someone shoots me as I jog. I don't deserve to live right now.
How I wish things never happened....