Excuses, excuses! Not using my own best brain here, likely. This is the part I had such a terrible time with--mainly because I had the relevant parts in Spike's point of view. Switching to Dawn was the key (pardon pun) that let me find a way into it that seemed to open things up in a more useful way.
Hey, Nan, glad I caught this bit now as younger daughter is 18 today and there will be visitors and a barndance and generally I'll be nowhere near the computer most likely. At least he’d quit being reasonable. She couldn’t stand his being reasonable. Dawn thought she’d feel so much better if he was as confused and miserable as she was. LOL!
And this is absolutely beautiful, Suspended in the pearlescent occluded daylight of a Sunnydale winter morning, Spike was like a fiery cloud. The sparkling motes of his astral body whirled so wildly that he seemed to be flying apart, nearly transparent. Dawn could see through him but not into him. He was exploding like a swarm of hornets. Jane
See, here's a mystery. ("I love a mystery.") How did Angel know? And Quor'toth! We know only so much about it, but what sticks with me from canon is Connor's anguished cry, "You let him take me!" I'm so interested in how you plan on using the kidnapping of the baby, entwining it into Ethan's exile.
I would never have thought of having Giles like this about Ethan---I know that Ethan has his adorers! Don't hurt me! But I love how you're writing Giles' desperation and implacibility. You've always written him as just, but fair, with a glimmering of humor under the seriousness of all his dealings with Spike. Now, of course, his humor has disappeared, and rightly so. I love stricken, haunted Giles! I hope Ethan treats him better by the end..
You conveyed the essence of the otherworld very well in Spike's and Dawn's inner meeting. You say you had trouble writing it---it doesn't show. I continue to be fascinated, and completely sold on, the complicated love that Spike and Dawn share. And words, unfortunately, don't sufficiently portray how
( ... )
This has been wonderful, Nan. You're description of the astral dimension is quite vivid. The thing I'm a little confused about is just where the whole Angel/Conner storyline is at this moment in your story. I watched most of ATS after BtVS, so I'm a little hazy on how they merge in canon anyway. Could I maybe get a little background on the status quo in the the Nanverse?
The kidnapping of Connor is comparatively recent--a few months. Most of it will be brought out by Angel when he arrives. However, the one thing no one is admitting and only Angel, Spike, and Dawn know is that this "Destroyer" is in fact Angel's son. That's a charged bit of information, given Angel's prior relationship with Buffy and Spike's present one. Except for that, if the status of Connor still unclear after Angel has said his piece, tell me, please.
Thanks for commenting and for asking. I DO appreciate critical feedback while there's still time to fix/change things!
Comments 47
Neither Spike nor Dawn are using their best brains in this bit, are they?
Julia, too sleepy to make a very good comment
Reply
Reply
At least he’d quit being reasonable. She couldn’t stand his being reasonable. Dawn thought she’d feel so much better if he was as confused and miserable as she was. LOL!
And this is absolutely beautiful,
Suspended in the pearlescent occluded daylight of a Sunnydale winter morning, Spike was like a fiery cloud. The sparkling motes of his astral body whirled so wildly that he seemed to be flying apart, nearly transparent. Dawn could see through him but not into him. He was exploding like a swarm of hornets.
Jane
Reply
I would never have thought of having Giles like this about Ethan---I know that Ethan has his adorers! Don't hurt me! But I love how you're writing Giles' desperation and implacibility. You've always written him as just, but fair, with a glimmering of humor under the seriousness of all his dealings with Spike. Now, of course, his humor has disappeared, and rightly so. I love stricken, haunted Giles! I hope Ethan treats him better by the end..
You conveyed the essence of the otherworld very well in Spike's and Dawn's inner meeting. You say you had trouble writing it---it doesn't show. I continue to be fascinated, and completely sold on, the complicated love that Spike and Dawn share. And words, unfortunately, don't sufficiently portray how ( ... )
Reply
Reply
Reply
Thanks for commenting and for asking. I DO appreciate critical feedback while there's still time to fix/change things!
Reply
Leave a comment