Okay so this is the fourth night that scott has been gone. I never sleep well when he is gone because I feel so vunerable up here where we live when I am by myself. Also, I have had to do double running around and driving with my clutch with my bad knee, since I am single parenting. I was so sad in church today, I just wanted to cry, but I didn't ( Read more... )

I just got home from another 12 hour flight...whew. I really am looking forward to that two hour trip to UTAH. Easter was a wash for me this year. It dissappointed me a lot. It has always been one of my favorite holidays. We went to Church with Scott's family, everyone was in jeans...Chelsea wanted to know why we were in dresses. The pastor gave ( Read more... )

     Scott called, dad has gone. Gone to join his parents and his wife and his brothers who have gone before him. He has gone to be with his Heavenly Father in a place where his body won't hold him back any longer. Scott missed his passing by 1/2 hour. He arrived at 8pm, but dad left this earth at 7:30pm.  He had told us, in that dream I had  the ( Read more... )

   I am sooooooo tired. So very little sleep last night, but I did a good job faking it at work today. As soon as I was off, I called my mom to inform her that her RX could not be filled until thursday. Unlike my daughter, my mother DOES abuse prescription drugs and her doctor is wise to her. She immediately became unglued and started yelling at me ( Read more... )

     Well, ever since I had that dream about  Scott's dad, I haven't been able to sleep well. Scott leaves at 4am today, because Dad's doctor says that  he won't make it through the week. I think I am just stressed because of not knowing what is going to happen. I like things planned and a little more organized. Heck, I have had my reservations for ( Read more... )

   I usualy consider myself a fairly compassionate person, but I am struggling to empathize or even tolerate my own mother. I swear she is crazy. The things she says to me and to my children about me are truly making me not even like her very much.
Today, knowing that I am already stressed to the max because of Scott's father's condition, she made a ( Read more... )

   I have been awake for about an hour and a half, after a dream about Scott's dad. In my dream he looked just like the pictures I have seen of him when Scott was a boy. I dreamed that we were in Wisconsin, just Scott, Chelsea and I. It was raining and we drove to his Aunt Lovice's house, (which didnt' look anything like her real house) and I went ( Read more... )

  I heard from Melissa...she sounded better and that made my heart sing! I told her that it was because I now have the catholics AND the Baptists praying for her. In fact everyone at work that has a walk with God is pleading her case!
Last night we had the missionaries for dinner, and after their lesson, they closed with prayer and blessed Melissa ( Read more... )

My computer has been down. I let both Matthew and then Chelsea use it after my last post and after Matthew had gone home, I got this terrible Blue Screen that would do nothing. I had a little ;pity party, because I wanted to register for my new classes, but oddly, the pity party did not cure m y computer. Matthew came up on Wednesday and worked on ( Read more... )

   Okay, it's Sunday...Yesterday, Scott wanted a haircut, I offered to give him one last night...he was too tired to let me cut his hair.  Then this morning, he got up, showered, sat and let me cut his hair...watched t.v. while I made a pancake and egg breakfast, ate...and went back in on the bed while I printed out his lesson for today. While he ( Read more... )