Near loves white.
Near loves his white room, with the white carpet, white walls, white bedding. Near loves his clear shelves, clear storage, where he can see all his toys neatly arranged in the right patterns.
The door opens, and Near's brother comes in with Near's white clothes. Near likes his brother. His brother is blue - other people think he's grey, or black-and-white, but Near can see that he's bright bright blue. "Good morning, Near," his brother greets him.
"Good morning, L," Near responds. His brother is L, a sharp clear right-angle. Near knows that other people call him something else, but that other name - Rue, Ryuuga, Ryuuzaki - that isn't right. It shifts in Near's head, slithering into different shapes. Near doesn't like that name for his brother.
L helps Near out of his nightclothes. Near has been told he can dress himself. Near agrees. He can. But being dressed by his brother is right, it's the routine, and Near must follow the routine. Near hated puberty, when the routine kept changing, when he kept having to tell his brother to do things differently to how they'd always been done because Near has always been the one who knows what the routine is, but it's settled now and his brother still dresses Near.
There's movement by the open door. Near looks over and sees his brother's boyfriend.
Near isn't sure what his brother's boyfriend's name is. He thinks it might be Kira, K sharply pointed like sparkles, but Kira is Killer and the boyfriend glows bloody red in his eyes so he never uses it.
Near's brother notices his boyfriend, too, and tugs Near's naked legs down, turns him by his naked hip to show off his naked body to the boyfriend. Near can't hold back the whine deep in his throat as he watches the boyfriend stare at him. Near is getting hard. Near's brother is hard. Near's brother's boyfriend is hard.
This is the routine, too.
Near's brother's boyfriend comes in, walks straight up to Near's brother and kisses him, fingers tangled in his hair. Near watches, takes in every detail as Near's brother's boyfriend dominates Near's brother, firm and commanding till Near's brother goes slack and passive under him.
Near's brother likes that. Near knows. It feels good. Near knows.
Once he's satisfied, Near's brother's boyfriend goes to make their breakfasts.
Near's brother leads Near to the bathroom for his first shower of the day. Near's brother has long, thin fingers that slide over and into Near's body as he washes him.
It's efficient.
Near gets harder.
Near's brother dresses Near and then kisses him firmly.
Their family has a social structure. Near's brother's boyfriend dominates Near's brother. Near's brother dominates Near. Near knows his place. Near's place is regularly reinforced. Near likes it. It's routine, and Near needs the routine.
Near submits.
Near likes it.
Near is still hard at breakfast, it's part of the routine. Near's brother's boyfriend comes over and puts down a bowl with Near's porridge in it, slides his hand inside Near's white sweatsuit and wraps it around Near's hard cock.
Near stares up at him and holds still, submitting.
"Do you want to go to the socialising club today?" Near's brother's boyfriend asks. This is one good change to the routine - before Near's brother's boyfriend, Near always had to answer that question with words, because Near doesn't trust nodding, and he used to get tangled between whether he wanted to and whether he felt he should and whether he might want to later - but now, if Near holds still it means yes, because he is being obedient and good, and if Near bucks up it means no because Near is being naughty and will have to be punished.
Near is still.
"Good boy," Near's brother's boyfriend says, and lets go.
Near likes being a good boy. He eats his porridge, and watches as his brother's boyfriend pulls his brother onto his lap and murmurs in his ear. Their conversations are low, which is good - they talk about too many different things, and it unsettles Near. One day will be bills, another stocks and shares, another sexual stimulation, and no order to which topic. When Near can't hear what they say, it's just them having a conversation, and that's routine.
The socialising club is run by a minor charity, meant for young adults who have serious mental and emotional disabilities. Near's brother's boyfriend found it for them. There are lots of carers at the club, all well-trained, and Near knows that if any of them were to do something unacceptable he could tell his brother or his brother's boyfriend and they would solve it.
What Near's brother and Near's brother's boyfriend do to him would be seen as something that needs to be solved if anyone found out about it. Near knows. His family's social structure is technically illegal, and unacceptable to wider society. Near knows. Near tucks the knowledge away in a hidden compartment in his mind every time he comes here, and so none of the well-trained carers have any idea how far from standard his homelife is.
Near doesn't like the group. Too unpredictable, too untidy, too loud. But it is necessary for him to be capable of interacting with other people, so he comes here every time he feels he can stand it.
There are two here he knows as M - one a client with yellow-gold hair, flashing orange jagged and chaotic, and the other a carer with brown hair, dim green and an easygoing attitude, who smells of smoke. They're always together, so it's more efficient to use one symbol for the two of them.
M-who-is-not-a-carer hates Near. Near doesn't care why. Whenever they are in the same group, one M will try to goad a response from Near and the other will try to defuse the situation. Near stays silent, draws in, shows less and less of his reactions. He thinks he enjoys how that pushes M to do more and more, but he can't tell because M's words, M's gestures, M's actions all stir up a sticky black cloud inside him that hide everything he understands and all he can do is show a blank face because he loses how to show feelings.
After the group, Near's brother and Near's brother's boyfriend collect him and the three of them go wandering.
There's no routine to where they go, and Near feels black.
Near's brother's boyfriend buys them all bus tickets, takes them to a part of the city they've never visited before, where no one who knows them will see them. Then he leads them around, groping Near's brother's ass, pausing in secluded areas to pin Near or his brother to a wall and kiss them breathless.
Near's head is filled with black. Near submits. Near's brother submits. All of them are hard by the time Near's brother's boyfriend chooses a spot, a hidden corner where no one will look because no one cares, and shoves Near into it.
Near's ass is bared, his hard cock free in the air, and Near's head is whirling black. Near is kissed, and Near submits. Near's brother and Near's brother's boyfriend stand in front of him, a triangle with him protected by walls and family, and Near's brother wraps one leg around his boyfriend's hip as his boyfriend fucks him hard and each of them buries two fingers deep inside Near and Near submits. Near's brother's boyfriend smirks as he fucks them both, says, "Look at you two. Such utter sluts," and Near comes knowing that his face must look as orgasmically empty as his brother's does.
Afterwards, Near's brother and his boyfriend wipe them all down quickly. Near feels hollow and black. It's better than the whirling black from M.
They go home.
Near has a special plate at dinner, with built-in partitions keeping each food from touching the others. The beef is separate from the potatoes is separate from the peas are separate from the carrots.
Near isn't particularly fussy about what his food is so long as none of it mixes.
After eating, Near works on one of his puzzles while his brother surfs the web. His brother's boyfriend does the washing up. Each piece Near fits into place goes perfectly. He fits piece after piece till everything is in the exact right order.
By bedtime, Near feels less black inside.
Near goes to the bathroom again. Near's brother follows. It's the routine.
Near's brother brings out the enema equipment, the large syringe and the rubber tube and the ribbed plug. Near's brother's boyfriend comes in as Near's brother fills the sink with warm soap-water, and slicks the plug, eyes on Near. He shines so red and Near is hot and without being touched Near is completely dominated. Near's brother fills the syringe, fits the tubing, pushes out the air bubbles. Near's brother's boyfriend turns Near to face the mirror and Near is exposed, open, vulnerable.
The plug always feels too large. Near's voice rings off the mirror, crystalline chimes as he's stretched and owned. Behind him, his brother's whimpers say that he is being owned just as thoroughly and Near can feel his body trying to suck the plug deeper.
Near stares at his own face in the mirror as he is filled with soapy water. "You need to be cleaned out," Near's brother says, and his voice makes the inside of Near's head hum so Near nods and pushes his ass out further. Being full is unpleasant, but releasing it is a pleasure and by the time he is clean inside and out Near's head is as transparent as his shelves.
Near's brother and Near's brother's boyfriend half-carry him to his room, lie him down on his white bed. Near's brother spreads Near's thighs, raises his ass. "Shall I paint your insides white?" he asks, the question that his boyfriend suggested years ago, and Near offers himself and begs, "Please!"
His brother's cock feels huge every time, like it's reaching his chest, like it's hollowing him out, and Near lies there open-mouthed and lets his brother fuck needy slutty noises out of his mouth until his brother's boyfriend comes forward with his own hard cock bare and says, "Shall I paint the back of your throat white?"
He doesn't wait for an answer, thrusts in deep, and Near milks the two cocks inside him as they use him for their pleasure, blue and red fucking him, fucking him, blue pounding his ass, red filling his throat, and Near loves it when their rhythm changes and they come in him, make him come, white in his throat, white dripping from his ass, white spurting from his cock, white the entirety of his empty mind.
They dress him in his white nightclothes and tuck him into his white bed. Near's brother brushes his hair off his face. "We're both much happier since Light moved in," he murmurs, then moans as his boyfriend starts fingering him.
"Yes," Near agrees, knowing that his brother sometimes needs the reassurance. He feels happy as blue and red leave, leaving him surrounded by white, full of white.
Near loves white.