Xenophobia, Part 4
» Xenophobia - 4/4. Kyuhyun/Donghae. 2873 words.
Kyuhyun decides that moving to New York City was the biggest mistake of his life.
________
Years pass.
Upon returning to Seoul, Kyuhyun made a point to reapply for his position as a professor at Kyunghee University, which of course he obtained. His students welcomed him with open arms and he even managed to snag a pay raise out of the deal.
His new apartment is on the nicer side of Seoul, but, unfortunately for his wallet, not on the nicer side of monthly rent ranges; fortunately Zhou Mi had also been apartment hunting since his Beijing flat had become somewhat expensive, so Kyuhyun claimed him as his new roomie.
Kyuhyun stayed single. He tried dating around ("Changmin, I really appreciate you wanting to help me out and give this a try, but you're one of my good friends. I really don't feel comfortable sucking you off.") but it just didn't seem to have that 'feeling' he was after. (However, according to Sungmin, the occasional fuck with Zhou Mi counted as not being single; Kyuhyun disagreed.)
________
"Have you talked to him at all?"
Kyuhyun looked over at Sungmin, who tapped the dashboard in time with Lady Gaga.
"It's incredible she's still so popular," he said as he turned a corner. Sungmin snorted.
"Stop deflecting."
"No," He answered, groaning to himself -- traffic. Just like every Thursday afternoon. "Not since he came by the apartment that last time."
"You should contact him," Sungmin sang in the tune of Alejandro.
You know that I love you, boy. Kyuhyun groaned before reaching over and flicking the station.
"Hey!" Sungmin cried, changing it back. "Just because Gaga's lyrics depict your love life doesn't mean you need to change the channel."
"Her lyrics have nothing to do with it. She just can't sing."
"Kyuhyun, just shut up, okay?" Sungmin crossed his arms like a child and looked out the window. "You're just deflecting because you still love Donghae and are afraid to contact him."
Kyuhyun stopped in front of the guitar shop; Sungmin threw open the door and stalked inside without saying goodbye. He sighed heavily and dropped his head on the steering wheel, ignoring the obnoxious blare of his horn.
________
Zhou Mi noticed he was different.
"Come on," He said as he bit into a piece of Hawaiian pizza. "Just tell me, Kui Xian. You're supposed to be able to talk to me about anything."
"I'm just tired, I don't know," Kyuhyun said as he picked at a piece of pineapple, slowly tearing it to shreds.
"Have you always played with your food?"
"Always," He replied, shoving a shred of pineapple into his mouth. "I built towers out of sandwiches with Donghae after my acci--"
"That's it!" Zhou Mi cried. "You're still in love with Donghae, aren't you?"
"No."
"Oh my god, you are. Why don't you call him?"
"Oh my god, will you stop?" Kyuhyun snapped, taking a bite of his own pizza. "I'm not calling him. I have you, I don't need him--"
"Um, Kui Xian," Zhou Mi chuckled. "We're not...um, together."
"Oh, I know," Kyuhyun replied. "I just...have you as a companion. I don't need him."
Zhou Mi sighed, plucking up their plates and dropping in the sink.
"You need to call him," He snapped. "Or I'll do it for you."
________
Kyuhyun loves the spring. It's his favorite season; the sprouting of leaves, the blooming of flowers, the smell of fresh grass and the warmth and the disappearance of the disgusting brownish slush that was once snow on the sidewalks. Good things happen in spring.
It was not spring; in fact, it was the dead of winter -- his bad season.
It was February 3rd, 2019 -- his thirty-first birthday. His last class of the day had just wrapped and he was getting together with Sungmin, Heechul and Zhou Mi for a (not necessarily wanted, but required according to Sungmin) celebratory dinner. He sipped his coffee, the scalding warmth comforting against the bitter air and he tried his hardest not to slip as he tip-toed towards the parking lot.
"Excuse me."
The voice came from behind him. He turned around and looked but saw nothing, until there was a small tug on his sleeve; he looked down to see a little girl staring up at him.
"Are you my daddy's friend?"
Kyuhyun stared at her for a second before kneeling down. He found her outrageously cute -- he would have believed her to be full Korean if it weren't for the blonde hair that fell on her shoulders.
"Well, I'm not sure, sweetheart," He said, smiling. "Depends on who your daddy is."
"Oh," Her face fell, her eyes boring into him like lasers and he got this feeling that he knew this girl. Something about her facial structure was so...
Suddenly there was the sound of heavy steps, accompanied by shortness of breath. "Annabel! You can't just--"
Kyuhyun stared incredulously between the girl and the man who had just approached; he suddenly felt like he was going to puke.
"Oh my god," He gasped as he got to his feet. Donghae smiled weakly.
"So you do work here again," He said as he shoved his hands into his pockets. "You look good."
"So do you." He wasn't lying; Donghae barely looked a day over twenty-seven, the only difference being the slight dark circles under his eyes.
"How have you been?" Donghae asked, tilting his head; his earmuffs tilted slightly. "It's been...what, four years?"
"Five, actually," Kyuhyun looked at Annabel; she grinned at him. "She's yours?"
"Yeah. Giselle and I weren't very careful, and one day I find out I'm going to be a dad," Donghae patted Annabel on the head, who giggled. Kyuhyun had this urge to hate her, to grab her by the throat and shake her -- she's the product of the thing that ruined his life, he had every reason to hate her. But somehow he couldn't bring himself to do so. "I love her to death."
"She's gorgeous," Kyuhyun smiled, patting Annabel on the head. She giggled again. "Also, Annabel Lee? You are a sick fuck." Donghae burst into laughter. "How are you and Giselle?"
Donghae's laugh quieted to a soft chuckle. "Giselle decided her and I were incompatible. She also decided she wasn't fit to be a mother, so we came to Seoul."
Kyuhyun nodded; he seemed to be lacking in the Intelligent Comeback department. He figured it probably would be easier to speak if he felt like his brain could handle using more than fifteen percent of its power.
"Actually," Donghae breathed, grabbing Annabel's hand. "I came here for a reason."
Kyuhyun waited for a few moments. The silence was agonizing.
"I want you to take me back."
Of course, Kyuhyun screamed in his mind. Of fucking course. He looked away from Donghae and placed his hands on his hips, biting his bottom lip to keep himself from screaming in Donghae's face.
"I know," Donghae breathed. "I know it's selfish. And I know you're probably going to say no because I'm such an asshole."
"You're right," Kyuhyun snapped. "I am going to say no. How can you even think I would say otherwise?" He paused, swallowing hard; something in the back of his throat screamed shut up, shut the fuck up and just kiss him, shut up NOW. "I suffered through so much for you. I quit a job I was in love with. I learned a whole new fucking language. I moved halfway across the fucking world. Away from my family, my friends, my fucking life. And you turn around and hook up with...with her behind my back."
Donghae sighed. Massaged his temples. A migraine was starting.
"But what's worse," Kyuhyun continued; his breath began shaking and his words cracked on his lips. His vision began to blur significantly. "Is that deep down, after five years of no contact, not even an email asking if I was alive, I still fucking adore you."
"Then please," Donghae pleaded, giving Kyuhyun that look that makes him crumble. "Take me back. I'll fix things -- I promise, I swear I will." He grabbed Kyuhyun's wrist, but it was jerked out of his grasp.
"I can't," Kyuhyun shook his head, tears streaming his cheeks, warming his face. "I can't put myself through that bullshit again."
________
"YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT."
Kyuhyun slapped a hand over Heechul's mouth, attempting to ignore the (all-too obvious) stares from the other patrons at the restaurant; of course, he managed to push it away, yelling "DON'T YOU TRY TO SILENCE ME, CHO KYUHYUN" at the top of his lungs.
"You can talk," Kyuhyun hissed. "Not scream so loud people down the road can hear you."
"Like I can't even fathom your stupidity right now," Heechul chided as he shoved a spoonful of lo mein into his mouth. He had suggested they go to this nice Chinese restaurant for Kyuhyun's birthday; he failed to mention it was the same restaurant he would go to with Han Geng for their weekly dinner date, so clearly he was much more bitter than necessary. "He was practically on his knees begging and you just say no. Let me tell you, if Hankyung showed up on my doorstep tomorrow morning, grovelling for my love and affection again, god damn it, I would go for it in a heartbeat. Why? Because I'm not an idiot."
"Heechul, the fact that you believe this will actually happen one day proves your idiocy in itself," Sungmin snapped before sweetly smiling at Kyuhyun. "I do agree though, Kyuhyun. You've been dwelling in your own pit of depression over him for long enough. Don't you want to, you know. Be happy?"
"I wasn't aware being happy was constantly living in fear that I'm going to be cheated on."
"Kyuhyun, come on," Zhou Mi piped. "Don't forget that you cheated on him, too--"
"Yeah, I did," Kyuhyun snapped. "Twelve years ago. With you. That's different."
"That doesn't change the fact that I'm beginning to think you are either extremely mentally or emotionally handicapped and you need extensive therapy," Heechul snipped through a mouthful of food. Sungmin rolled his eyes at the irony.
"Ignore him. Kyuhyun, you know we're just saying this because we care and want you to be happy. And trust me, we know what's best for you."
"How can you even say that?" Kyuhyun asked, somewhat mocking his offense.
"Because you can't even dress yourself without looking like a blind Sunday school teacher," Sungmin said flatly. "Thank goodness Zhou Mi lives with you."
Kyuhyun chewed his chicken chow mein, considering the words. He decides that, above anything else, chicken chow mein is disgusting, even though that had no relevancy to the matter at hand.
________
As he stressed time and time again, winter was Kyuhyun's bad season.
By the end of February, his car had died, thus causing him to reroute his way home: leave the office, walk past the preschool, go to the subway station. Possibly stop at Taco Bell, depending on the night. Get on train, listen to iPod on train for fifteen minutes and people-watch. Don't trip over the gap between the train and landing, leave subway. Walk ten blocks to apartment building, only to see that the elevator is broken. Walk ten flights of stairs, have trouble finding keys. Collapse on couch.
March first, he walked out of the office building, just like most days; nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The snow was starting to melt, the air starting to gradually heat up and the sun was shining for the first time in weeks. He sipped his coffee, his mind mulling over papers he needed to correct and the fact that preschoolers are really, really loud.
"Excuse me!"
He stopped and turned around; against the wire fence of the preschool was a little blonde girl, one that he recognized even from over a hundred feet away.
"Hey Annabel," He said as he approached the fence. "What's up?"
"Nothing, Mr. Daddy's friend," She grinned at him; she had Donghae's smile. "How come you're not answering my daddy's phone calls?"
Kyuhyun blinked a few times. "I didn't know he called. He must not have my new number."
"Well," Annabel pouted. "You should go visit him at work. He's been missing you, Mr. Daddy's Friend."
"Call me Kyuhyun."
"Okay, Mr. Kyuhyun," Annabel grinned -- an innocent, care-free grin -- and ran off.
Kyuhyun took another sip of his coffee and watched as she played; he wished life was as easy as it was when he was three, when his biggest fear was missing his favorite Saturday morning cartoon because he slept in.
________
He could hear Heechul in the back of his mind;
"Cho Kyuhyun," He would say calmly. Cross his legs, lace his fingers in his lap. "Don't you dare second guess now. What would be the point in that?"
Kyuhyun swallowed hard as he stared up at the sign; "LEE DANCE STUDIO" was being thrown in his face by large red letters. He let out a shaky breath that he was unaware he was holding.
"There is no point to it, you dumbass," Heechul's voice chides. "Just go inside and tell the boy you love him. How hard is that? Jesus, you can be so pathetic."
"Shut up," Kyuhyun growled, smacking his head a few times to see if the voice would vanish. It didn't.
"Wow, way to not look crazy," Heechul snapped. "Just open the door. Go inside. Talk to the nice receptionist. Find him."
Kyuhyun sighed again.
"NOW."
"Alright, alright," Kyuhyun mutters, yanking open the door and walking up to the desk. A familiar face smiled up at him, just as surprised as he was at his arrival.
"Kyuhyun!"
"Hyoyeon," Kyuhyun blinked a few times, trying to make sure he was seeing the right face; she grinned at him. "What are you doing here?"
"Well, ever since SNSD broke up I've been wanting to get into the dancing field," She said, tapping her pen against the desk. "And so far, this is the closest I've gotten. What about you?"
"Actually," He smiled weakly. "I'm here to talk to Donghae."
She nodded slowly, understanding. "He's in a class right now but I'm sure Eunhyuk won't mind if you guys chat for a few."
Kyuhyun thanked her and walked in the direction she pointed him, down the hall and on the last door to his right. He could see Donghae through the large window that revealed the studio; he was in sweatpants and a black wife beater and was dancing to something that sounded like one of their songs, and he was sweating and Kyuhyun found his mouth going dry. He wanted to turn around and run out, forget he ever even had the idea, but Heechul was screaming at him in the back of his mind, and, oh god, Donghae saw him. He swore to himself as the older man spoke a few words to Eunhyuk and walked out of the studio.
"Kyuhyun," Donghae said, slightly out of breath. Kyuhyun smiled awkwardly. "What are you doing here?"
"I want to talk."
"Alright," Donghae shut the studio door and sat down on the ground, staring up at Kyuhyun. "Then talk."
Kyuhyun sighed heavily; he hated being on the spot. "I guess, what I really want to say is that...I don't know. I don't." He wrung his hands together, his cheeks began to flush. "I'm not good with expressing myself anymore, but I guess what I want to say is that I'm not rejecting you."
Donghae blinked a few times and nodded slowly; Kyuhyun bit his lip.
"I'm just...scared," The last word came out almost like a whisper. "I'm scared, Donghae."
"I understand," Donghae said. "I don't blame you for being scared. It's expected; I fucked up. Bad. Really bad, much worse than your bullshit with Zhou Mi."
"Yeah, no shit."
"But," Donghae got to his feet, having to grab Kyuhyun's shoulder to steady himself. "I can tell you that I'm not going to fuck up again. Not like that."
"I know," Kyuhyun smiled weakly; Donghae grinned at him, and he could feel his knees wobble. "So...is it too late to take back my rejection?"
"It's never too late," Donghae said. "And we'll take it slow this time."
"Extremely slow," Kyuhyun replied. "Molasses in January slow."
"That's fine," Donghae said. He suddenly remembered something, running into the office next to the studio and grabbing a pad of paper and a pen. He shoved them into Kyuhyun's arms. "Write down your new number. I know you got a new one because the other one said it was disconnected." Kyuhyun scribbled down the digits quick and handed him the paper. "How about I call you this weekend?"
"I'm open," Kyuhyun said, smiling; a small flare of warmth popped up in his chest. Donghae grinned again and squeezed his hand tight before running back into the studio.
Heechul, Sungmin and Zhou Mi were waiting patiently when Kyuhyun opened the apartment door, all sitting on the living room floor with grins plastered on their faces. Kyuhyun smiled at them and they all started cheering, jumping up and down as if they were fifteen year old girls; Kyuhyun almost felt like crying.
________
Just like he promised, Donghae called on Saturday.
THE END.
A/N: IT'S FINALLY OVER OMG. I have been slaving over this part nonstop for the past two days. ;____; This is so bad but oh well. I'm kind of sad it's over, but in a way I'm just glad it's done. Thank you everyone for reading! I have another Kyuhae oneshot in the making, so stay tuned orz
Kyuhyun decides that moving to New York City was the biggest mistake of his life.
________
Years pass.
Upon returning to Seoul, Kyuhyun made a point to reapply for his position as a professor at Kyunghee University, which of course he obtained. His students welcomed him with open arms and he even managed to snag a pay raise out of the deal.
His new apartment is on the nicer side of Seoul, but, unfortunately for his wallet, not on the nicer side of monthly rent ranges; fortunately Zhou Mi had also been apartment hunting since his Beijing flat had become somewhat expensive, so Kyuhyun claimed him as his new roomie.
Kyuhyun stayed single. He tried dating around ("Changmin, I really appreciate you wanting to help me out and give this a try, but you're one of my good friends. I really don't feel comfortable sucking you off.") but it just didn't seem to have that 'feeling' he was after. (However, according to Sungmin, the occasional fuck with Zhou Mi counted as not being single; Kyuhyun disagreed.)
________
"Have you talked to him at all?"
Kyuhyun looked over at Sungmin, who tapped the dashboard in time with Lady Gaga.
"It's incredible she's still so popular," he said as he turned a corner. Sungmin snorted.
"Stop deflecting."
"No," He answered, groaning to himself -- traffic. Just like every Thursday afternoon. "Not since he came by the apartment that last time."
"You should contact him," Sungmin sang in the tune of Alejandro.
You know that I love you, boy. Kyuhyun groaned before reaching over and flicking the station.
"Hey!" Sungmin cried, changing it back. "Just because Gaga's lyrics depict your love life doesn't mean you need to change the channel."
"Her lyrics have nothing to do with it. She just can't sing."
"Kyuhyun, just shut up, okay?" Sungmin crossed his arms like a child and looked out the window. "You're just deflecting because you still love Donghae and are afraid to contact him."
Kyuhyun stopped in front of the guitar shop; Sungmin threw open the door and stalked inside without saying goodbye. He sighed heavily and dropped his head on the steering wheel, ignoring the obnoxious blare of his horn.
________
Zhou Mi noticed he was different.
"Come on," He said as he bit into a piece of Hawaiian pizza. "Just tell me, Kui Xian. You're supposed to be able to talk to me about anything."
"I'm just tired, I don't know," Kyuhyun said as he picked at a piece of pineapple, slowly tearing it to shreds.
"Have you always played with your food?"
"Always," He replied, shoving a shred of pineapple into his mouth. "I built towers out of sandwiches with Donghae after my acci--"
"That's it!" Zhou Mi cried. "You're still in love with Donghae, aren't you?"
"No."
"Oh my god, you are. Why don't you call him?"
"Oh my god, will you stop?" Kyuhyun snapped, taking a bite of his own pizza. "I'm not calling him. I have you, I don't need him--"
"Um, Kui Xian," Zhou Mi chuckled. "We're not...um, together."
"Oh, I know," Kyuhyun replied. "I just...have you as a companion. I don't need him."
Zhou Mi sighed, plucking up their plates and dropping in the sink.
"You need to call him," He snapped. "Or I'll do it for you."
________
Kyuhyun loves the spring. It's his favorite season; the sprouting of leaves, the blooming of flowers, the smell of fresh grass and the warmth and the disappearance of the disgusting brownish slush that was once snow on the sidewalks. Good things happen in spring.
It was not spring; in fact, it was the dead of winter -- his bad season.
It was February 3rd, 2019 -- his thirty-first birthday. His last class of the day had just wrapped and he was getting together with Sungmin, Heechul and Zhou Mi for a (not necessarily wanted, but required according to Sungmin) celebratory dinner. He sipped his coffee, the scalding warmth comforting against the bitter air and he tried his hardest not to slip as he tip-toed towards the parking lot.
"Excuse me."
The voice came from behind him. He turned around and looked but saw nothing, until there was a small tug on his sleeve; he looked down to see a little girl staring up at him.
"Are you my daddy's friend?"
Kyuhyun stared at her for a second before kneeling down. He found her outrageously cute -- he would have believed her to be full Korean if it weren't for the blonde hair that fell on her shoulders.
"Well, I'm not sure, sweetheart," He said, smiling. "Depends on who your daddy is."
"Oh," Her face fell, her eyes boring into him like lasers and he got this feeling that he knew this girl. Something about her facial structure was so...
Suddenly there was the sound of heavy steps, accompanied by shortness of breath. "Annabel! You can't just--"
Kyuhyun stared incredulously between the girl and the man who had just approached; he suddenly felt like he was going to puke.
"Oh my god," He gasped as he got to his feet. Donghae smiled weakly.
"So you do work here again," He said as he shoved his hands into his pockets. "You look good."
"So do you." He wasn't lying; Donghae barely looked a day over twenty-seven, the only difference being the slight dark circles under his eyes.
"How have you been?" Donghae asked, tilting his head; his earmuffs tilted slightly. "It's been...what, four years?"
"Five, actually," Kyuhyun looked at Annabel; she grinned at him. "She's yours?"
"Yeah. Giselle and I weren't very careful, and one day I find out I'm going to be a dad," Donghae patted Annabel on the head, who giggled. Kyuhyun had this urge to hate her, to grab her by the throat and shake her -- she's the product of the thing that ruined his life, he had every reason to hate her. But somehow he couldn't bring himself to do so. "I love her to death."
"She's gorgeous," Kyuhyun smiled, patting Annabel on the head. She giggled again. "Also, Annabel Lee? You are a sick fuck." Donghae burst into laughter. "How are you and Giselle?"
Donghae's laugh quieted to a soft chuckle. "Giselle decided her and I were incompatible. She also decided she wasn't fit to be a mother, so we came to Seoul."
Kyuhyun nodded; he seemed to be lacking in the Intelligent Comeback department. He figured it probably would be easier to speak if he felt like his brain could handle using more than fifteen percent of its power.
"Actually," Donghae breathed, grabbing Annabel's hand. "I came here for a reason."
Kyuhyun waited for a few moments. The silence was agonizing.
"I want you to take me back."
Of course, Kyuhyun screamed in his mind. Of fucking course. He looked away from Donghae and placed his hands on his hips, biting his bottom lip to keep himself from screaming in Donghae's face.
"I know," Donghae breathed. "I know it's selfish. And I know you're probably going to say no because I'm such an asshole."
"You're right," Kyuhyun snapped. "I am going to say no. How can you even think I would say otherwise?" He paused, swallowing hard; something in the back of his throat screamed shut up, shut the fuck up and just kiss him, shut up NOW. "I suffered through so much for you. I quit a job I was in love with. I learned a whole new fucking language. I moved halfway across the fucking world. Away from my family, my friends, my fucking life. And you turn around and hook up with...with her behind my back."
Donghae sighed. Massaged his temples. A migraine was starting.
"But what's worse," Kyuhyun continued; his breath began shaking and his words cracked on his lips. His vision began to blur significantly. "Is that deep down, after five years of no contact, not even an email asking if I was alive, I still fucking adore you."
"Then please," Donghae pleaded, giving Kyuhyun that look that makes him crumble. "Take me back. I'll fix things -- I promise, I swear I will." He grabbed Kyuhyun's wrist, but it was jerked out of his grasp.
"I can't," Kyuhyun shook his head, tears streaming his cheeks, warming his face. "I can't put myself through that bullshit again."
________
"YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT."
Kyuhyun slapped a hand over Heechul's mouth, attempting to ignore the (all-too obvious) stares from the other patrons at the restaurant; of course, he managed to push it away, yelling "DON'T YOU TRY TO SILENCE ME, CHO KYUHYUN" at the top of his lungs.
"You can talk," Kyuhyun hissed. "Not scream so loud people down the road can hear you."
"Like I can't even fathom your stupidity right now," Heechul chided as he shoved a spoonful of lo mein into his mouth. He had suggested they go to this nice Chinese restaurant for Kyuhyun's birthday; he failed to mention it was the same restaurant he would go to with Han Geng for their weekly dinner date, so clearly he was much more bitter than necessary. "He was practically on his knees begging and you just say no. Let me tell you, if Hankyung showed up on my doorstep tomorrow morning, grovelling for my love and affection again, god damn it, I would go for it in a heartbeat. Why? Because I'm not an idiot."
"Heechul, the fact that you believe this will actually happen one day proves your idiocy in itself," Sungmin snapped before sweetly smiling at Kyuhyun. "I do agree though, Kyuhyun. You've been dwelling in your own pit of depression over him for long enough. Don't you want to, you know. Be happy?"
"I wasn't aware being happy was constantly living in fear that I'm going to be cheated on."
"Kyuhyun, come on," Zhou Mi piped. "Don't forget that you cheated on him, too--"
"Yeah, I did," Kyuhyun snapped. "Twelve years ago. With you. That's different."
"That doesn't change the fact that I'm beginning to think you are either extremely mentally or emotionally handicapped and you need extensive therapy," Heechul snipped through a mouthful of food. Sungmin rolled his eyes at the irony.
"Ignore him. Kyuhyun, you know we're just saying this because we care and want you to be happy. And trust me, we know what's best for you."
"How can you even say that?" Kyuhyun asked, somewhat mocking his offense.
"Because you can't even dress yourself without looking like a blind Sunday school teacher," Sungmin said flatly. "Thank goodness Zhou Mi lives with you."
Kyuhyun chewed his chicken chow mein, considering the words. He decides that, above anything else, chicken chow mein is disgusting, even though that had no relevancy to the matter at hand.
________
As he stressed time and time again, winter was Kyuhyun's bad season.
By the end of February, his car had died, thus causing him to reroute his way home: leave the office, walk past the preschool, go to the subway station. Possibly stop at Taco Bell, depending on the night. Get on train, listen to iPod on train for fifteen minutes and people-watch. Don't trip over the gap between the train and landing, leave subway. Walk ten blocks to apartment building, only to see that the elevator is broken. Walk ten flights of stairs, have trouble finding keys. Collapse on couch.
March first, he walked out of the office building, just like most days; nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The snow was starting to melt, the air starting to gradually heat up and the sun was shining for the first time in weeks. He sipped his coffee, his mind mulling over papers he needed to correct and the fact that preschoolers are really, really loud.
"Excuse me!"
He stopped and turned around; against the wire fence of the preschool was a little blonde girl, one that he recognized even from over a hundred feet away.
"Hey Annabel," He said as he approached the fence. "What's up?"
"Nothing, Mr. Daddy's friend," She grinned at him; she had Donghae's smile. "How come you're not answering my daddy's phone calls?"
Kyuhyun blinked a few times. "I didn't know he called. He must not have my new number."
"Well," Annabel pouted. "You should go visit him at work. He's been missing you, Mr. Daddy's Friend."
"Call me Kyuhyun."
"Okay, Mr. Kyuhyun," Annabel grinned -- an innocent, care-free grin -- and ran off.
Kyuhyun took another sip of his coffee and watched as she played; he wished life was as easy as it was when he was three, when his biggest fear was missing his favorite Saturday morning cartoon because he slept in.
________
He could hear Heechul in the back of his mind;
"Cho Kyuhyun," He would say calmly. Cross his legs, lace his fingers in his lap. "Don't you dare second guess now. What would be the point in that?"
Kyuhyun swallowed hard as he stared up at the sign; "LEE DANCE STUDIO" was being thrown in his face by large red letters. He let out a shaky breath that he was unaware he was holding.
"There is no point to it, you dumbass," Heechul's voice chides. "Just go inside and tell the boy you love him. How hard is that? Jesus, you can be so pathetic."
"Shut up," Kyuhyun growled, smacking his head a few times to see if the voice would vanish. It didn't.
"Wow, way to not look crazy," Heechul snapped. "Just open the door. Go inside. Talk to the nice receptionist. Find him."
Kyuhyun sighed again.
"NOW."
"Alright, alright," Kyuhyun mutters, yanking open the door and walking up to the desk. A familiar face smiled up at him, just as surprised as he was at his arrival.
"Kyuhyun!"
"Hyoyeon," Kyuhyun blinked a few times, trying to make sure he was seeing the right face; she grinned at him. "What are you doing here?"
"Well, ever since SNSD broke up I've been wanting to get into the dancing field," She said, tapping her pen against the desk. "And so far, this is the closest I've gotten. What about you?"
"Actually," He smiled weakly. "I'm here to talk to Donghae."
She nodded slowly, understanding. "He's in a class right now but I'm sure Eunhyuk won't mind if you guys chat for a few."
Kyuhyun thanked her and walked in the direction she pointed him, down the hall and on the last door to his right. He could see Donghae through the large window that revealed the studio; he was in sweatpants and a black wife beater and was dancing to something that sounded like one of their songs, and he was sweating and Kyuhyun found his mouth going dry. He wanted to turn around and run out, forget he ever even had the idea, but Heechul was screaming at him in the back of his mind, and, oh god, Donghae saw him. He swore to himself as the older man spoke a few words to Eunhyuk and walked out of the studio.
"Kyuhyun," Donghae said, slightly out of breath. Kyuhyun smiled awkwardly. "What are you doing here?"
"I want to talk."
"Alright," Donghae shut the studio door and sat down on the ground, staring up at Kyuhyun. "Then talk."
Kyuhyun sighed heavily; he hated being on the spot. "I guess, what I really want to say is that...I don't know. I don't." He wrung his hands together, his cheeks began to flush. "I'm not good with expressing myself anymore, but I guess what I want to say is that I'm not rejecting you."
Donghae blinked a few times and nodded slowly; Kyuhyun bit his lip.
"I'm just...scared," The last word came out almost like a whisper. "I'm scared, Donghae."
"I understand," Donghae said. "I don't blame you for being scared. It's expected; I fucked up. Bad. Really bad, much worse than your bullshit with Zhou Mi."
"Yeah, no shit."
"But," Donghae got to his feet, having to grab Kyuhyun's shoulder to steady himself. "I can tell you that I'm not going to fuck up again. Not like that."
"I know," Kyuhyun smiled weakly; Donghae grinned at him, and he could feel his knees wobble. "So...is it too late to take back my rejection?"
"It's never too late," Donghae said. "And we'll take it slow this time."
"Extremely slow," Kyuhyun replied. "Molasses in January slow."
"That's fine," Donghae said. He suddenly remembered something, running into the office next to the studio and grabbing a pad of paper and a pen. He shoved them into Kyuhyun's arms. "Write down your new number. I know you got a new one because the other one said it was disconnected." Kyuhyun scribbled down the digits quick and handed him the paper. "How about I call you this weekend?"
"I'm open," Kyuhyun said, smiling; a small flare of warmth popped up in his chest. Donghae grinned again and squeezed his hand tight before running back into the studio.
Heechul, Sungmin and Zhou Mi were waiting patiently when Kyuhyun opened the apartment door, all sitting on the living room floor with grins plastered on their faces. Kyuhyun smiled at them and they all started cheering, jumping up and down as if they were fifteen year old girls; Kyuhyun almost felt like crying.
________
Just like he promised, Donghae called on Saturday.
THE END.
A/N: IT'S FINALLY OVER OMG. I have been slaving over this part nonstop for the past two days. ;____; This is so bad but oh well. I'm kind of sad it's over, but in a way I'm just glad it's done. Thank you everyone for reading! I have another Kyuhae oneshot in the making, so stay tuned orz