» Arrow. Kyuhae, Kyuhyun-centric. Drama. 639 words.
Kyuhyun and Donghae call it quits. Kyuhyun vents.
A/N: I'm sorry Kyuhyun, but I needed to use you to vent.
SONG: "I Love You" - Taeyeon I'm not really sure why or how this happened. And I can't really tell you what changed between us, because it just sort of happened so quickly. It was like one day you were telling me you loved me, and the following day everything was...
Different.
Different, not in the way I had wanted it to be. I wanted things to be different, yes, but in a good way. I wanted us to be closer. That's all I ever wanted, was to be closer to you. Physically, emotionally. In general, I just wanted us to be closer.
I remember the exact day I told you I liked you. It was the twenty-seventh of December, two days after the annual Christmas party. We were drunk and sloppy, but the feelings were so raw and sober.
"Hyung, I like you," I had said, sitting out on the roof in the freezing cold with you. Shivering, with chattering teeth, because we were only in hoodies. We were too stupid to even think about coats. "I really, really like you. But it's okay if you don't like me back."
You laughed at first, and it scared me. I had never heard you laugh in such a way; I honestly thought you were mocking me. But you turned to me, took my hand. "Honestly, you don't know how happy you're making me right now."
And it just started from there.
We sat up late every night. We held hands. We kissed. We made out, and we made love.
Were we really only together for a month? It felt like years, for the amount of emotions and ups and downs we suffered.
I remember the first time you said you loved me.
It was January 15th, at like...what, one in the morning? Maybe two. Something like that. You looked at me and smiled, and you said, "I think I'm falling for you."
And you looked so scared.
And I smiled and said, "I think I'm falling or you, too. If not already there."
And you weren't scared anymore.
And then The Shift happened. It needs to be capitalized, because it was an event. A proper noun, much in the way of any famous war you read in history books.
That's what The Shift was. It was a war, between my emotions -- still steadfast and strong -- and yours, which were beginning to dwindle.
You stopped staying up late. "I'm tired," you would say. And you'd turn over and go to sleep. Maybe an "I love you" tagged at the end, maybe.
I would text you. And you would never reply.
And then The Break happened. Another important, key event. The end of it all.
You looked at me, and said, "I feel trapped."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I'm trapped in this career," You said. "Trapped in this 'idol' status of mine."
I paused; I could feel it coming. "Anything else?"
"I feel trapped in us," You said after a few minutes. A few agonizing, painfully long minutes. "I'm sorry, Kyuhyun. I didn't want to say anything, because I knew it would just stress you out...and you've...been so stressed lately."
"Don't you get it?" I had replied, shaking my head. "I'm stressed because of you."
What happened to us? I honestly don't know. I still can't tell you to this day what happened.
But I'm sorry. For whatever it was that made you fall out of love with me, I'm sorry. For whatever I did that upset you, that hurt you.
Even though deep down, I know I did nothing at all. Because you even said it yourself;
I was the best thing that ever happened to you.