Guess what? We're all human.
I will fully admit that I don’t always understand both sides of a situation before I speak. There are, however, some rules whose foundations in common sense, courtesy, and good will toward men (and women) give them the depth and breadth to apply to all situations. Because lately I’ve witnessed far too much pain at the hands of people that have forgotten these rules, let’s review:
If you have something to say, say it to your intended target’s face.
This rule is crucial to every relationship ever forged, and in the age of email has become vital to the survival of common courtesy as we know it. ALL OF US have a tendency to get what I like to refer to as “internet balls” - and it’s the equivalent of a couple shots of whiskey to interpersonal interaction. Email, text messaging, and instant messaging give us a false sense of courage and the (ridiculous, completely unfounded) knowledge that it’s okay to say things that we would NEVER, EVER say to someone’s face. We don’t have to face our target’s reaction, nor do we ever have to deal with it, and that’s simply cowardly - and usually a good sign that the person sending the communication is not confident in the message that they’re communicating.
On a personal note, I would like to add that setting up a sock-puppet email address to send personal criticism to someone is just about the most cowardly, yellow-bellied, pathetic thing I can think of to do to a person - it doesn’t matter who you are or who you’re speaking to or whether or not you think you’re being altruistic… have the intestinal fortitude to allow your target to face their accuser. Gutless, spineless, heartless, thoughtless idiots like you should not be allowed to interact with the public on any level, let alone in the name of a volunteer organization. Your lack of integrity absolutely, positively does not speak or even whisper a single word about the rest of us and I am ashamed to be associated with you, whomever you may be, in any capacity - I don’t care if I don’t know the situation. If you’re going to stand up for what you believe in, STAND UP FOR IT, RIGHT OUT IN PUBLIC. Otherwise, it’s hardly an opinion worth defending, is it?
Life isn’t fair. It doesn’t matter.
There are things that happen to each of us every day that we cannot control. It is our responsibility as functional adult members of society to learn from those situations, assess what pieces and parts are within the realm of our control, make educated decisions about what we can and cannot change, and most of all, to be more careful in our assessments and associations when similar situations arise in the future. The serenity prayer applies here - ‘God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.’ Exclaiming over the unfairness of something at length will simply not accomplish anything. Don’t get me wrong - I see no problem with venting. Sometimes we all need a ‘You go, girl!’ to get us through the day (or the hour), but there comes a point where we need to put on the big girl panties and make some decisions regarding what we can and can’t realistically do to change things, and then come to terms with it. In other words, as a dear friend is fond of saying, ‘A grip must be gotten.’ Some people are idiots, and always will be. No amount of whining, moaning, or arguing will change that.
Everyone has a story that will make you cry. Everyone.
My mother always says, ‘Adversity is the great equalizer. It teaches us compassion.’ And she should know - she’s faced a whole lot of adversity in her life, and has overcome. So have we all, my friends. Every single one of us brings a vast realm of experience to the proverbial table, and though we tend to champion our own causes and crusades, don’t ever forget that everyone else’s ideals, values, and beliefs are just as deeply rooted in their own challenges and triumphs as our own.
If life has a cardinal rule, it is this: Do right, and fear nothing.
You can interpret that in whichever way suits you - there are several. All of them are absolutely right. Not a single one of us is perfect, in the realm of integrity, in the realm of personal interaction… but that is absolutely no reason to not strive for perfection. We can all be better people and applying this simple mantra to each and every endeavor will help to accomplish that goal. If that doesn’t work for you, think on these terms… if your mother found out, would you have a lot of explaining to do? Well, yeah, your mom might have your back, but what about if the entire story - not just your side - was published in the newspaper tomorrow? (And did you know, by the by, that THAT is the litmus test to which Berkshire Hathaway execs put all decisions? They call it the ‘Newspaper Test’.) Would you have anything for which to be embarrassed or ashamed? Be nice. Play fair. Clean up your own mess. Help who you can, where you can. Admit when you're wrong and say you're sorry. What else is our calling in life?
If you have something to say, say it to your intended target’s face.
This rule is crucial to every relationship ever forged, and in the age of email has become vital to the survival of common courtesy as we know it. ALL OF US have a tendency to get what I like to refer to as “internet balls” - and it’s the equivalent of a couple shots of whiskey to interpersonal interaction. Email, text messaging, and instant messaging give us a false sense of courage and the (ridiculous, completely unfounded) knowledge that it’s okay to say things that we would NEVER, EVER say to someone’s face. We don’t have to face our target’s reaction, nor do we ever have to deal with it, and that’s simply cowardly - and usually a good sign that the person sending the communication is not confident in the message that they’re communicating.
On a personal note, I would like to add that setting up a sock-puppet email address to send personal criticism to someone is just about the most cowardly, yellow-bellied, pathetic thing I can think of to do to a person - it doesn’t matter who you are or who you’re speaking to or whether or not you think you’re being altruistic… have the intestinal fortitude to allow your target to face their accuser. Gutless, spineless, heartless, thoughtless idiots like you should not be allowed to interact with the public on any level, let alone in the name of a volunteer organization. Your lack of integrity absolutely, positively does not speak or even whisper a single word about the rest of us and I am ashamed to be associated with you, whomever you may be, in any capacity - I don’t care if I don’t know the situation. If you’re going to stand up for what you believe in, STAND UP FOR IT, RIGHT OUT IN PUBLIC. Otherwise, it’s hardly an opinion worth defending, is it?
Life isn’t fair. It doesn’t matter.
There are things that happen to each of us every day that we cannot control. It is our responsibility as functional adult members of society to learn from those situations, assess what pieces and parts are within the realm of our control, make educated decisions about what we can and cannot change, and most of all, to be more careful in our assessments and associations when similar situations arise in the future. The serenity prayer applies here - ‘God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.’ Exclaiming over the unfairness of something at length will simply not accomplish anything. Don’t get me wrong - I see no problem with venting. Sometimes we all need a ‘You go, girl!’ to get us through the day (or the hour), but there comes a point where we need to put on the big girl panties and make some decisions regarding what we can and can’t realistically do to change things, and then come to terms with it. In other words, as a dear friend is fond of saying, ‘A grip must be gotten.’ Some people are idiots, and always will be. No amount of whining, moaning, or arguing will change that.
Everyone has a story that will make you cry. Everyone.
My mother always says, ‘Adversity is the great equalizer. It teaches us compassion.’ And she should know - she’s faced a whole lot of adversity in her life, and has overcome. So have we all, my friends. Every single one of us brings a vast realm of experience to the proverbial table, and though we tend to champion our own causes and crusades, don’t ever forget that everyone else’s ideals, values, and beliefs are just as deeply rooted in their own challenges and triumphs as our own.
If life has a cardinal rule, it is this: Do right, and fear nothing.
You can interpret that in whichever way suits you - there are several. All of them are absolutely right. Not a single one of us is perfect, in the realm of integrity, in the realm of personal interaction… but that is absolutely no reason to not strive for perfection. We can all be better people and applying this simple mantra to each and every endeavor will help to accomplish that goal. If that doesn’t work for you, think on these terms… if your mother found out, would you have a lot of explaining to do? Well, yeah, your mom might have your back, but what about if the entire story - not just your side - was published in the newspaper tomorrow? (And did you know, by the by, that THAT is the litmus test to which Berkshire Hathaway execs put all decisions? They call it the ‘Newspaper Test’.) Would you have anything for which to be embarrassed or ashamed? Be nice. Play fair. Clean up your own mess. Help who you can, where you can. Admit when you're wrong and say you're sorry. What else is our calling in life?