22. Roofies and Heartaches, Part II
And, here's part two. I'm truly sorry that there is so much. I will try very hard not to let it happen again. But also I'm not really sorry because sometimes Jacob at TWOP (who is my hero, er, one of them) writes thirty-six pages of recap. Those ones are my favorite. This one time he took over from Couch Baron and recapped an episode of Veronica Mars, and it was pretty much amazing.
It's All About Perspective
Neptune High parking lot. Veronica approaches Casey. "'Sup, Veronica," he greets her. And while it's nice to see that he still treats her friendly, after their little jaunt a while back, I miss the "cult-brainwashed" Casey who didn't care about his inheritance and who acted like a real person. Sometimes parents can really screw you up. Sorry if you have no idea what I'm talking about; maybe you should watch some more Veronica Mars. Then again, this episode is a prime example of just how much damage a parent can unintentionally do. We'll discuss this in more detail later on. When she questions him about Shelly's party he tries to blow her off, but she's nothing if not persistent and keeps following him. Veronica: "Oh yeah. I was just wondering how you've been, you know, without your grandmother." He stops; bad Veronica, stay away from those hot-button issues, like dead grandmothers and incest (both of which, coincidentally, are featured in this episode). But it worked, so whatever, I guess. Casey: "I've been good. Got my priorities in check. No more throwing my family's money at strangers so I can eat s'mores and listen to bad folk music. What was the awkward question?" Way to do your poor, dead grandma proud, Casey-boy, but at least he's willing to talk now. Veronica asks him whether she hit on him at the party and he says no, but when she asks if it got ugly, he kind of smirks and says, "Oh, yeah."
Beautiful blue flashback, couch kissing scene, take two. But Casey's version is much more believable than Madison's. Dick is dancing like the ass he is to "I Touch Myself," when Veronica comes stumbling in, completely out of it. I mean, I'm talking, like she can't even form a coherent sentence. Dick grabs her and starts singing the lyrics, pulling her down to the couch with him, and moving her hands all over his chest. Dick is gross (Hee). Her hands get caught in his hair when she tries to get up, which is when Dick says, "You like grabbing hair, huh? That's nice, huh?" Dick kisses her as Madison watches, and when he sees her he breaks off the forced kiss. He pushes her over to Casey, who says no thanks, he likes his to be able to stand on their power. This is hard to watch, and it only gets worse. Flashback over -- for now. Veronica: "Well, I'm gonna go drink some bleach now." I would add another "Hee" right about now, except that I completely agree with her. But now we learn that Casey is of the Meg state of mind; he tells her that if she doesn't remember much about the party, she should probably leave it that way. Veronica guesses that means he saw something else. Righto, Veronica. Another beautiful blue flashback, not long after the last one. Veronica is still sitting next to Dick, but now he's feeding her a shot as people look on, including Beaver and Sean. She says that she wants to go home, but Dick tells her she is home. Sean: "See, there's your pool and your hot tub and your big mansion." Shut up, Sean. I hate you. But he continues as we see a leggy brunette -- Shelly Pomroy -- sitting on the table across from Veronica. "And here's a hot foreign exchange student who's been living with your family. Now," and here he pours another shot down her throat, "I know you've had your eye on her and that's okay; it's perfectly natural." Shelly gets off the table and comes very close to Veronica. Very, very close. And thankfully, for Veronica's sake, the flashback ends. She looks like she's seriously either going to cry or throw up. "They were feeding me shots?" Casey: "I guess they thought you were sobering up."
Neptune High. Veronica is scrubbing the hell out of the inside of her locker, its contents emptied on the floor. Huh, I guess she couldn't find any bleach. Up comes Wallace, going to his own locker. She proffers the dirty cloth towards him. This? Is why she should keep her walkie-talkies in the car. Wallace is all, really, the dirt is the only reason, not the fact that you're in high school and only seventeen? But Veronica ignores his sarcasm, opting for an apology instead. She tells him she's sorry for giving him the bugged plant, that if she had known his mother would get in trouble she never would have -- but he interrupts her. "Stop! I'm not stupid. I know I wasn't just delivering a plant. I could've said no." Wallace opens his locker, looking like he has something he's been wanting to say to Veronica for awhile. Indeed: "You know, I do these things for you and I never ask you why." She knows. "You know why? Because I know you would never tell me." Veronica looks like this isn't necessarily a bad thing, she says she would do the same for him. But he's got a bone to pick with her. "Logan Echolls used one of the absence slips I took for you." (Sidenote-- Veronica gave that to Logan so they could make out in the girl's bathroom during class, well after his mother's case had been closed, and not even Wallace knows about Logan and Veronica's "relationship.") Veronica is surprised that he checks the absence slips, but honestly, Veronica, he works in the office. What do you expect? I mean, he is your friend. Wallace: "You, I do favors for. My friends, I put my butt on the line for. That guy doesn't even know my name. You wanna tell me why I'm helping him out?" She tells him he's not, which is a lie, and he wants to know if she's sure. She tries to cover, saying she needed him for some loose ends on his mother's case. But Wallace isn't stupid. His face here breaks my heart. "Thanks. Now that I have all the details, I don't feel like such a chump." I think this is one of my favorite parts about the show; Veronica isn't perfect, she makes mistakes and hurts people in complicated and flawed ways. We were on her side at the time, but Wallace is right, sometimes she needs to realize that there's more in life than her, admittedly rather vast, pain and suffering.
Random classroom, where Veronica finds Sean sitting backwards on a chair and talking to some kid. She's been looking for him. She pushes her way in front of him and pulls up her own chair to backwards sit in, facing a very uncomfortable looking Sean. The random kid flees. What, Sean asks, but he knows it can't be good. Veronica: "I'm just thinking of all the ways I can destroy you." Even worse than blowing his cover as an '09er, and making all of his friends find out that he's really a butler's son and had been lying to them for years about being one of them? Even worse than that? I love it when she's like this, so vindictive, yet playful. He tells her that she's being torturous, so of course she decides to play with him some more: "So, Shelly Pomroy and I were thinking of getting together later for a little girl-on-girl, you wanna come with?" He's beginning to realize his Spidey-sense was correct. "Wow. You know, when you're about to soil yourself, you get a little twitch right in your eye." That's because he knows what you can do, Veronica, and he knows he's been a bad, bad boy. This recap is really very dirty. He tries to play it up like he has no idea what she's talking about, but Veronica calls his bluff and threatens to tell the sheriff that he was the one with GHB the night of Shelly Pomroy's party. She knows he was feeding her drinks. Sean butts in, claiming that Dick was the one feeding her the drinks and that it's Dick she should be talking to.
Beautiful blue flashback, Sean's perspective. Dick is carrying an unconscious Veronica into an empty bedroom as Sean and Beaver follow him. He's humming idiotically as Beaver's trying to get his attention. He sits down on the bed next to Veronica. Beaver's really worried, "You're gonna hurt her or something, man." Dick is DISGUSTING: "Oh, I'd hurt her. You, she might not even notice." Beaver stutters about how this is not funny and Dick wants to know what his problem is. Beaver wants to know if Dick is serious, or if he's just trying to get him to do something so he can laugh at him. Dick: "She's actually kinda hot. When she's quiet. Perfectly cute piece of ass. Ready and willing." Dick pats the bed and Beaver heads toward Veronica's general direction. "It's kinda the best you're gonna do, bro'. You're not real big with the sober chicks." Beaver says fine, just go, looking like he just wants Dick to get out of there already, and not in happy way. "That's my boy," Dick says, throwing him some condoms. Dick: "Make sure you suit up. You don't know where she's been." It's worth noting that in Sean's version of this flashback, he was standing back and looking nervous the whole time, and that he distinctly saw Beaver reaching for the condoms as he and Dick were leaving. End flashback. Sean tells Veronica that her issues are with Dick and Beaver, not him. Parse that sentence for me, will ya? But Veronica always has the best parting shots: "Well, I'm just sorry you had to witness it. That must have been awful for you."
Neptune High parking lot. Veronica is sitting in her car, the jaunty little Le Baron's engine is idling, and Dick's surfboard is resting precariously underneath her front tire. Maybe I should have said this earlier, but Casablancas boys, WATCH OUT. Dick approaches. Veronica: "Hiya, Dick. How's it goin'?" He sees what's under her front tire, and with a wonderful mix of panic and anger from Ryan Hansen, Dick asks her what the hell she's doing. "Um, trying to get your attention." Good job, sweetheart, I think it's working. He tries to make a move to rescue the board, but Veronica awesomely revs her engine. "Got a couple questions for ya." Dick: "You're frickin' nuts, you know that?" Veronica: "Insulting me now seems like a good plan, how?" Hee. He holds up his hands in surrender, and with one glance at his board to make sure it's still safe, asks her what she wants. Answers, and quickly, did he give her GHB the night of Shelly's party? He's confused at first, but then says he's not even the one who had it. Veronica revs her engine again and Dick's eyes get all wide. "I mean, I got some, but I didn't give any to you. I swear on my life." Veronica: "See, when you say that, it makes me hope you're lying." She knows he brought her into the guest bedroom for Beaver. He says more like he found her there.
Beautiful blue flashback, Dick's version. Dick is walking past the open door of the bedroom and he sees Veronica crawling wantonly over to Beaver. "Beaver, don't go, you said you were gonna stay here with me," she says. Dick pauses as his version of Beaver says yeah, I'm here, I'll stay, and Veronica totally comes onto him, saying something about an awfully big bed. Basically, Dick is full of shit. He's almost as bad at this remembering thing as his girlfriend. They are a perfect match. Meanwhile, Dick's version of Veronica is giving Beaver a 'come hither' finger, and we fade out of flashback. Veronica: "Are you freaking kidding me? How 'bout reality, Dick." And, big mistake: "What? I'm just telling you what I saw. I didn't drug you. Don't go blaming me because you got all wasted and slutty." Veronica shoots Dick with the fiercest eye bullets I've ever seen and then slams her foot on the pedal, crushing Dick's surfboard fantastically against the curb. Awesome. Extreme, but awesome.
The Truth, It Hurts
Back inside the school, Veronica approaches Beaver at his locker. "Damn," she says, "you don't look happy to see me." But he's trying valiantly and gives her a cheery greeting that is actually pretty hilarious with the look of complete terror on his face. Whiny terror. She tells him she's really well, that she "just found out that the dream I had where I was locked all alone in a bedroom with you was reality. Care to share some details, lover?" I love the way she says 'lover.' It's so threatening. But Beaver says nothing happened and tries to move away from her. She stops him. Veronica: "Actually, something did happen. And I might not remember the details, but I sure as hell remember the morning after." Beaver looks guilty and starts rambling about how, he swears to God, he didn't touch Veronica and how Dick was all after him and how there was this girl Cindy who was kind of easy, but she ended up going home with Logan . . . at this Veronica looks up eagerly. If this is true, Logan has an alibi; she's free to trust him again. Unfortunately for her, though, I'm thinking the fact that she suspected him at all pretty much defeats the whole point of trust in the first place. And that's Veronica's whole problem. She tries to cover all of this up with a sarcastic "Sucks to be you, and?" So Beaver continues, saying that Dick brought him to the guest room with her but he just wanted to be left alone. Beautiful blue flashback, the guestroom scene from Beaver's point of view. Veronica is lying unconscious, Dick sitting near her legs, Beaver near her head. Sean is nearby watching as Dick starts to push up the bottom of Veronica's dress, asking Beaver if he needs help getting started. Beaver tells him just to go, which is Dick's cue to say "that's my boy," which is apparently true in all realities, and this time it's Sean tossing the condoms and telling little Beav to suit up. Since I like Cassidy Casablancas and Dick is pretty much an idiot slash asshole, I think I'm gonna go with Beaver on this one. When they've gone, Beaver gently pulls Veronica's dress back down, asks her if she's okay, and then proceeds to run outside to throw up on the patio, right in front of Carrie Bishop. Flashback over, Beaver tells Veronica that it was supposed to be his big night, lose his virginity, instead he ended up puking on someone's shoes. Veronica looks perplexed as to what to say to all of this; we can sense she believes him, too. Then she gives him a quick and hard punch to the shoulder, "Well, thanks for leaving me there." And if weren't so sad, I would laugh. Kristen Bell frequently rocks.
Mars Investigations. Veronica is sitting on the floor, which is covered with papers and files, methodically wiping out drawers. VMVO: "The whole ritual cleaning thing is textbook for a reason. For a couple of minutes, you're in control and everything's the way it should be, at least on the surface." Keith enters silently and watches her a moment; he's worried. "You see another special on dust mites?" Veronica: "They're disgusting, they're everywhere, and they must be destroyed." Hear, hear. Then I wouldn't have to spray Flonase up my nose every morning in order to avoid rhinocerous sized headaches and sinus infections. Keith asks if he has any messages, or did she boil them. Keith, you're so corny. She says just a fax and hands it to him. "Apparently that package you've been waiting for is in Vegas. Is it a white bengal tiger?" He tells her it's the entertainment lawyer he's been tracking for a year and that a source spotted him there. He says he's going to leave pretty soon, is she sure she doesn't want to stay with a friend? Veronica: "And miss an opportunity to have the apartment to myself so that I can raid the liquor cabinet and watch Skinemax? No, wait, I'm a girl. I'm gonna do my homework, secure all the locks, brush, floss, and crawl into bed with an overly protective pit bull." She kisses Keith's cheek and tells him he doesn't have to worry about her. He looks skeptical, but there's not really much he can do about it.
Echolls house of horrors. Logan enters the house to find Aaron in the kitchen, cooking. He greets Logan in a French accent: "Ah! Especially for you tonight, I am making what will be known from now on as 'Aaron's Extra Special Crab Cakes.' Ha ha!" Logan smirks and replies, "I'm sure I'll thoroughly enjoy them. Right up until my esophagus closes up, cuts off my air supply, and I shuffle off this mortal coil." Aaron is confused, but I applaud you Logan, you're so well read for such a rich boy. "Perhaps my last words will be, 'Great crab, papa.' Aaron still doesn't get it, so Logan spells it out for him: he's allergic to shellfish. Aaron: "Of course. I forgot." Yeah. Right. Logan's with me, he tells Aaron that he didn't forget, that he never knew. Aaron claims that he did, that he just got him confused with Trina. Logan kindly informs Aaron that he's the one allergic to shellfish and Trina's the one allergic to work. Hee. Aaron: "You know, somehow you got it in your head that I don't know a thing about you. Well, I got news for you: I'm your father. I raised you. I know plenty." Which is a nice fatherly speech, but, Logan has him. Round one of 'How Well Do You Know Your Son'? "When is my birthday?" Aaron huffs like he's offended by the question, but then obviously has to guess. "February," he says, taking a chance. Logan: "Wow, you got a vowel right." Logan, who was clearly hoping that he wouldn't be proved right moves to leave, disappointed, but Aaron grabs him, angry. "You know, I have been pretty tolerant of your wiseass remarks but you are pushing it." Logan looks down at Aaron's tight grip on him, and Aaron releases him. And Aaron's just kind of pathetic now. You can't help but feel sorry for him, like, Harry Hamlin does a really good job playing this guy so that you honestly can't tell if he's trying to reform, or if he really did deserve that Oscar he got. Yes, Aaron Echolls, Oscar winner. Also, People magazine's Sexiest Man of the Year, 1986. He asks Logan if it counts for anything at all that he's trying, and Logan says he's accumulating points. Aaron makes sure to emphasize that he's committed to their family, that he's committed to Logan, but Logan says he's got limited time. As soon as his mother's inheritance comes in on his eighteenth birthday --whenever that is-- he's out of there. Bon Voyage. He holds up his fingers like Richard Nixon.
Random coffee shop. Veronica is waiting at the bar, trying to get Carrie Bishop's attention in between customers. Carrie comes over and asks what she can get for Veronica, who answers, "I'll have a hot chocolate, crème brulee and some answers, if you can give me about two minutes." Carrie is not thrilled. The last time she and Veronica came in contact, it didn't end very well. Veronica asks her about Shelly's party, and when Carrie assents, Veronica informs her that she doesn't, "at least not between passing out in the back yard and waking up the next morning in the guest room." She tells Carrie that she thinks she probably saw her. Carrie says she did indeed see Veronica. Beautiful blue flashback. The guest room, again. Veronica is on the bed with someone on top of her as Carrie walks by. She's removing the mystery man's shirt, and he's pulling off her underwear. We see Carries disgusted face: "Oh, God. Shut the door next time," she says as she pulls it closed. End flashback; Veronica has a look of shock on her face. But who was the mystery man? Who did Carrie say she was getting it on with?
The Kane estate. Veronica is barely able to contain herself, holding her arms close, as she knocks on the door. Duncan answers, still with the beard of angst, which is good, because he's gonna need it for this scene. Veronica: "Welcome back. So, Carrie Bishop said that you and I were in bed together the night of Shelly Pomroy's party last year. Care to elaborate?" Duncan gets this weird look on his face. He wants to know what she's talking about, but she wants to know what happened. He tells her that he was incredibly wasted that night, that he barely even remembers it. Veronica: "That's kind of a thing with you, huh? Carrie said she walked into the guest bedroom and you were naked and on top of me." She must be really upset to bring up his possible epileptically inspired possible murder of his sister. Duncan can't believe what he's hearing, and then Veronica busts out the 'R' word. Duncan: "I raped you!?" Veronica is crying now, as Duncan goes on about now he's a murderer and a rapist, and yes, Duncan, catch up, please. And then he says something strange, why is she acting like she wasn't there? Veronica doesn't know what he's talking about. Duncan: "You were there too, you know. I-I thought we had some unspoken rule, like we're never gonna talk about it but now I raped you."
Beautiful blue flashback, Shelly's party. Duncan walks into the guest bedroom to find a loopy Veronica, who tells him she's glad he's there. "Hi, baby," he says. "Miss you," she replies. She reaches up and puts her arms around him; they're both smiling. End flashback.
Duncan confirms that she doesn't remember; isn't it a bad feeling, he wants to know. Veronica is incredibly upset by now, I'm really wanting to turn it off because I can't watch this shit anymore, but it's so good. Veronica wants to know why if it was so tender and loving, he left her there to wake up by herself without any underwear. He tells her he had to get out of there, that he'd woken up and realized what they'd done. We briefly flash back to that morning as Duncan wakes up with Veronica next to him. Veronica wants to know what he did that was so bad, and he says that he slept with her. Veronica either doesn't understand, or she just really wants him to say it. I can't make up my mind which one it is, but either way, she asks him if it was consensual, and he affirms. Veronica, about to lose it: "Then what about that is so wrong?" Duncan, screaming: "Because you're my sister, and I knew it! E-even after my mother told me, I tried to just cut you out of my life. I loved you! I tried not to, I tried not to, but it won't go away!" If this shit wasn't so sad, I'd probably laugh. I mean, incest! I'd say that's a pretty good reason for breaking up with someone, so, mystery solved. Yay? Veronica is sobbing uncontrollably now as we see that Celeste is watching them. She looks back at Duncan, who sinks to his knees, and runs as fast as she can back to her car and out of there. Man, I should have taken a Valium before watching this episode.
Deranging Denouement
Veronica is sitting in her car, stoic faced in front of Wallace's house. I'm assuming she's trying to get up the courage to go inside, but before that can happen, Wallace comes out, "I was about to call the police on you, stalker," he jokes. But her face suddenly breaks and Wallace is scared shitless. Usually Veronica only cries in places where no one can see her, like the side of the road, or the shower. Cut to the two of them, later, sitting on his bed, and we can assume that Veronica has told him everything. About the rape, the murder, and Logan. Veronica is wiping some tears off of her face, "This is so not an 'I told you so,' but do you see why I kinda keep things to myself?" He does, and she thinks she can go home now. Wallace tells her he thinks she should stay there, but Veronica insists she's fine. He says he wishes he could do or say something to make it better. Veronica: "You don't have to say anything. That's kinda the good part." Aww, friends. She reaches for her laptop and pulls it over to them. "You say I never tell you anything when I ask for favours?" Wallace says, yeah, she so doesn't need to worry about that right now, but she's learned her lesson. "I'm not worried. Here's everything there is to know." She sets the computer on his lap as we see that her desktop is a picture of her and Lilly from Homecoming. "Lilly Kane Murder Investigation," it reads. Wallace looks over at her and smiles. I love these two. Cut to later, Veronica is getting ready to leave and she pauses at the kitchen door when she sees Alicia making a sandwich. "Don't tell me Wallace still has you cutting his crusts off?" She asks how Veronica is, and I have to assume that she was being a nosy mother and overheard at least some of Veronica and Wallace's conversation. Veronica apologizes again for the bug, and tells her she's glad she and Keith are dating, that they're good together. Alicia says she knows, and Veronica tells her that she makes Keith happy. Alicia expresses regret over their fight and worries she might have ruined things, but Veronica tells her not to worry, her Dad's not going anywhere.
Cut to Vegas, a phone rings and a woman answers. It's a hooker, and it's Keith making an appointment. Her name is Cheyenne, and she's listed in the phonebook under 'escort.' This must have just been a sight-gag, because there's no way that anyone watching this actually believed Keith would call a hooker. I mean, come on, he's a P.I. If he's callin' a hooker, he's got a reason. Whoops, that was sort of a spoiler.
I judst want toapologize as of now because I am not deleitin g anything even though I'm kind of drunk in Seattle. But I love you guys and I wnt to finish this recap so I can go on my road trip in peace but I had a wine and then I had a 151 with some Captian MorgaN. oH Yeah. But so Veronica and Logan are in Veronica's house and I"ve had to tyupe this like ten times because I accidentally keep deleting it so I'm sorry and I hope I get more sober as the rest of this recap goes on. But theure on the couch and Veronica is apologzing to Logan about accusing him of raping her anbd Logan is jusst glad she's okay, which is awefully nice of him,donl't you think? Logam: "Well, do you want to tell me about it? I mean, you-you don't have, you don't have to tell me anything. I'm just here for whatever you need, okay. " She goes on to tell him that she was drugged but she was with Duncan, and even though she doesn't remember it, it wasn't rape. Just incest. But she doesn't tell him that part, gross. His face is so heartbreaking oh jeez Logan I want to suck on y9our bottom lip. Logan is so upset for her, that she even had to go through this, and I'm so happy theymade up.
Back to Vegas. Keith marsipan is doing his detective thing. Hooker lady comes to his room all ready to mingle with the dingle, but he's just entraps her into a confession that she was with Abel Koontz the night of Lilly's murder and therefore he has an alibi, even if an illegal one. But guys seriously, thbe punishment for being with a whore is so much better than killing a seventeen year old. Seriously. I have to pee please excuse me./ Ok I'm back. Cheyenne --t he hooker-- is not too psyched about hte idea of confessing, becase, "He confessed. For whatever reason. If I come forward, I'll be the most famous working girl on the planet. I have a five year old son who thinks I'm a stewardess." Keith: "A girl was murdered. Don't you think the person who killed her should be the one in jail." Yes, Keith, you are so goo d and you are so right. Why arem't more people as cool as you.
Echools house of horrors. We see Veoncia and Logan totally sucking face from behind the houses' front doors, and they are still doing ti wehn they open it. Buyt wait, surprise! Aaron has decided to invite like all of Neptune High over to their house to try to kiss up to his son. Or be a good father. Everyone stares in horror as Logan--the '09er King-- makes out with Veronica Mars, whore of Babylon. I love this moment so so much evne when I'm drunk as a skunk. That is a dumb ass metaphor whou thought of that drunks do noty get skunk I mean come on, they are animals. Lpgamn is so fujnny: " So is this party nine months early or three months late? " he doesn't know, baby.You know what I think that reflex thing is true I am such a bad tuper right now. Aaron tells Logan in front of all of his riends that he has a lot of year sto make up for./ But Aaron dumpling, I don't ever think you can make up for the cigarette bu8rns and the belt beatings. Even one as early as three months ago. You are a bad daddy. But this scene is cute;. Whategver. Haha ha you guys probably can't read this at all/ Logan holds out his hand to Veronica, saying to her with his body language that he watts every one to know they are dating. She takes his hand and Dick approaches both ot hem: "Dude, what the hell are you doing? Please tell me this is like, some new reality show called "My Skank"? " VBUt Logan is awesmoe. He's like, Goobye, Dick " Get out of my house. You have a problem with Veronica, you leave. Actually, you have a problem with Veronica, you're pretty much dead to me, so just, like, evaporate or something, I dunno." If you guys are sondering why the quotes are tyuped so well it's because I copied and pasted the,m. He continues, "That's kind of a general invitation. If you don't like my girlfriend then… " This is Dick's cue to back off, and Duncan's to be a jealous asshole. He leaves, walking wordlessly by both Veronica and Logan out to his car.
Okay, so I gave on the drunk recapping after three paragraphs and passed out on the couch, don't worry. While I don't have the energy to delete all of that nonsense and re-write it, the rest of this recap will be up to standard. Also, I will not be drinking 151 anymore. Veronica moves awkwardly into the room, probably very upset that her make-out party for two with Logan got interrupted by everyone who hates her. She comes across Madison holding two drinks. Madison asks her if she's, like, dating Logan now. When Veronica says yes, Madison says, "Do you think his dad's gonna do another movie soon or what? He's way too cute to become a has-been." She offers Veronica one of the drinks. "You want one? They said it was sugar-free but, I don't know." Veronica skeptically takes the drink and heads over towards Meg, who tells her she doesn't want to drink it. "I'm betting Madison gave you a trip to the dentist. It's her thing. She does it to people who she doesn't like. She spits in the cocktail and calls it a trip to the dentist, 'cause we're in eighth grade." Veronica looks at her drink in disgust.
Quick cut as Veronica storms over towards Madison, grabs her arm, and demands in a very upset voice to know whether Madison gave her a trip to the dentist the night of Shelly's party. Madison acts confused, like, what are you talking about Veronica? So Veronica spells it out for her: "Did you spit in my drink and give it to me at Shelly's?" Madison: "Like I was the only person whose spit you had in your mouth that night." Zing! But also, bitch. Beautiful blue flashback. Dick walks over to Madison, kisses her, and hands her a drink. When she discovers that it's real soda, she reams him about feeding her lard. Just then she spots Veronica walking by so she smiles evilly, spits in the drink and blindly hands it over her shoulder. Veronica takes it; the rest is history. End flashback. Veronica is staring at Madison, stunned. "Do you have any idea what you did to me?" Madison: "Oh my God! I spit in your drink. You are like, so scarred for life." Veronica just shakes her head as Madison walks away.
Outside, Duncan is pacing by his car. He goes to open the door but finds that it's locked. After looking for his keys unsuccessfully, he tries the door again and again, each time with more agitation. Eventually he just starts punching and kicking it, rage all over his face. He picks up a shovel and starts smacking the crap out of it, smashing the window. But he keeps hitting the car more and more violently. Meg comes running out of the house. She frantically asks what he's doing and tells him to stop, but he ignores her completely. I'm not even sure he knows she's there. This is obviously what one of his epileptic fits looks like, and frankly, I'm a little freaked out. Meg: "This is about Veronica, isn't it? You're still in love with her, right? Answer me." Oh, Meg, if only it were that simple. He finally drops the shovel, but continues to just kick his car repeatedly. Duncan is kind of crazy when he doesn't take his medication.
Back to the now pretty depressing and slowly emptying party. Aaron is showing a couple out and telling them he hopes they got enough to eat. Logan and Veronica are pretty much nowhere to be seen. Oh, wait. There they are, holding hands and walking out the back door. Heading towards the pool house. And they're pretty much really cute getting there, with the hand-holding, and him swinging her around off of stuff. Logan: "Now, see, why can't it just be like this?" He kisses her. "Why do there have to be all those other people in this world?" The next part is just really cute and schmoopy, but I will not recap you to save you the vomit. Basically they kiss a lot and he calls her short and there's straddling and pulling of pigtails. But he halts the fun for a second, saying that he needs to tell her something. Veronica: "I'm sorry, we're past the confessional part of this program. We're on to the make-out." Hee, meta. But Logan is serious; it's about Shelly's party. Beautiful blue flashback. Remember when Meg saw people doing body shots off of Veronica? It was Logan who was organizing. He sprinkles some salt on her and puts a lime in her mouth for another guy to enjoy. Back in the present, Veronica tells him she knew about the salt lick, but that she's choosing to ignore it as one of those not real things. But there's more. Back to the flashback, we see that it was Duncan who rescued Veronica from the bodyshotters, yelling at Logan, "What the hell are you doing? She can barely sit up, you freak!" Logan tells him to chill out, and secretly puts GHB in a cup for Duncan. He apologizes to Duncan and hands him the cup, "Hey, I'm sorry, dude. You know, man, you're, I mean, you're totally right. It's no way to have fun, huh?" Duncan takes the drink. End flashback. Logan looks really upset, but Veronica is surprisingly calm about this new revelation. When he says he just wanted Duncan to have some fun, what with Lilly, Veronica just tells him that he didn't know what was going to happen. Logan: "I'm the one who's responsible for what happened to you. And I can't take that I hurt you like that. I can't take that I hurt you when all I want to do is protect you." Say it with me, now: awwww. They kiss some more, and then he interrupts it, saying he wants her to trust him. Well, good luck, buddy. But Veronica says she does. We'll see about that, sweetie. Like I said before, I don't think she quite gets the concept of trust. It doesn't mean trust only when you think they're trustworthy; it means trust all the time. There is more kissing, and then they decide they need refreshments. The liquor key breaks in the cabinet so Logan goes to get something from the main house. At first Veronica just lies on the bed, but then she notices something strange in the ceiling fan, and then some wires that lead from it to a cabinet in the wall. We can see it's a camera, but she only gets it when she opens the cabinet and sees herself on the monitor. She is immediately incensed, and obviously doesn't trust Logan even enough to let him come back and explain. She just assumes he knew about it, which is dumb and annoying, but completely in character. I just feel sorry for both of them. Her, because she's never really going to be able to trust anyone, and him because he's doomed to love her and be tortured to death by it.
Cut to outside of the Echolls's house as Weevil pulls up on his motorcycle. He hands Veronica a helmet as she thanks him for coming, and they pull away. Soon we're back at Casa Mars, and Veronica calls, "Honey, I'm home," as she enters. She's stopped cold in her tracks by whoever she sees. The camera pans over and we see that it's Lianne Mars, Mommy Dearest, back from alcohol Never-Neverland. Lianne: "So am I, honey. So am I." Veronica has the worst life ever.
It's All About Perspective
Neptune High parking lot. Veronica approaches Casey. "'Sup, Veronica," he greets her. And while it's nice to see that he still treats her friendly, after their little jaunt a while back, I miss the "cult-brainwashed" Casey who didn't care about his inheritance and who acted like a real person. Sometimes parents can really screw you up. Sorry if you have no idea what I'm talking about; maybe you should watch some more Veronica Mars. Then again, this episode is a prime example of just how much damage a parent can unintentionally do. We'll discuss this in more detail later on. When she questions him about Shelly's party he tries to blow her off, but she's nothing if not persistent and keeps following him. Veronica: "Oh yeah. I was just wondering how you've been, you know, without your grandmother." He stops; bad Veronica, stay away from those hot-button issues, like dead grandmothers and incest (both of which, coincidentally, are featured in this episode). But it worked, so whatever, I guess. Casey: "I've been good. Got my priorities in check. No more throwing my family's money at strangers so I can eat s'mores and listen to bad folk music. What was the awkward question?" Way to do your poor, dead grandma proud, Casey-boy, but at least he's willing to talk now. Veronica asks him whether she hit on him at the party and he says no, but when she asks if it got ugly, he kind of smirks and says, "Oh, yeah."
Beautiful blue flashback, couch kissing scene, take two. But Casey's version is much more believable than Madison's. Dick is dancing like the ass he is to "I Touch Myself," when Veronica comes stumbling in, completely out of it. I mean, I'm talking, like she can't even form a coherent sentence. Dick grabs her and starts singing the lyrics, pulling her down to the couch with him, and moving her hands all over his chest. Dick is gross (Hee). Her hands get caught in his hair when she tries to get up, which is when Dick says, "You like grabbing hair, huh? That's nice, huh?" Dick kisses her as Madison watches, and when he sees her he breaks off the forced kiss. He pushes her over to Casey, who says no thanks, he likes his to be able to stand on their power. This is hard to watch, and it only gets worse. Flashback over -- for now. Veronica: "Well, I'm gonna go drink some bleach now." I would add another "Hee" right about now, except that I completely agree with her. But now we learn that Casey is of the Meg state of mind; he tells her that if she doesn't remember much about the party, she should probably leave it that way. Veronica guesses that means he saw something else. Righto, Veronica. Another beautiful blue flashback, not long after the last one. Veronica is still sitting next to Dick, but now he's feeding her a shot as people look on, including Beaver and Sean. She says that she wants to go home, but Dick tells her she is home. Sean: "See, there's your pool and your hot tub and your big mansion." Shut up, Sean. I hate you. But he continues as we see a leggy brunette -- Shelly Pomroy -- sitting on the table across from Veronica. "And here's a hot foreign exchange student who's been living with your family. Now," and here he pours another shot down her throat, "I know you've had your eye on her and that's okay; it's perfectly natural." Shelly gets off the table and comes very close to Veronica. Very, very close. And thankfully, for Veronica's sake, the flashback ends. She looks like she's seriously either going to cry or throw up. "They were feeding me shots?" Casey: "I guess they thought you were sobering up."
Neptune High. Veronica is scrubbing the hell out of the inside of her locker, its contents emptied on the floor. Huh, I guess she couldn't find any bleach. Up comes Wallace, going to his own locker. She proffers the dirty cloth towards him. This? Is why she should keep her walkie-talkies in the car. Wallace is all, really, the dirt is the only reason, not the fact that you're in high school and only seventeen? But Veronica ignores his sarcasm, opting for an apology instead. She tells him she's sorry for giving him the bugged plant, that if she had known his mother would get in trouble she never would have -- but he interrupts her. "Stop! I'm not stupid. I know I wasn't just delivering a plant. I could've said no." Wallace opens his locker, looking like he has something he's been wanting to say to Veronica for awhile. Indeed: "You know, I do these things for you and I never ask you why." She knows. "You know why? Because I know you would never tell me." Veronica looks like this isn't necessarily a bad thing, she says she would do the same for him. But he's got a bone to pick with her. "Logan Echolls used one of the absence slips I took for you." (Sidenote-- Veronica gave that to Logan so they could make out in the girl's bathroom during class, well after his mother's case had been closed, and not even Wallace knows about Logan and Veronica's "relationship.") Veronica is surprised that he checks the absence slips, but honestly, Veronica, he works in the office. What do you expect? I mean, he is your friend. Wallace: "You, I do favors for. My friends, I put my butt on the line for. That guy doesn't even know my name. You wanna tell me why I'm helping him out?" She tells him he's not, which is a lie, and he wants to know if she's sure. She tries to cover, saying she needed him for some loose ends on his mother's case. But Wallace isn't stupid. His face here breaks my heart. "Thanks. Now that I have all the details, I don't feel like such a chump." I think this is one of my favorite parts about the show; Veronica isn't perfect, she makes mistakes and hurts people in complicated and flawed ways. We were on her side at the time, but Wallace is right, sometimes she needs to realize that there's more in life than her, admittedly rather vast, pain and suffering.
Random classroom, where Veronica finds Sean sitting backwards on a chair and talking to some kid. She's been looking for him. She pushes her way in front of him and pulls up her own chair to backwards sit in, facing a very uncomfortable looking Sean. The random kid flees. What, Sean asks, but he knows it can't be good. Veronica: "I'm just thinking of all the ways I can destroy you." Even worse than blowing his cover as an '09er, and making all of his friends find out that he's really a butler's son and had been lying to them for years about being one of them? Even worse than that? I love it when she's like this, so vindictive, yet playful. He tells her that she's being torturous, so of course she decides to play with him some more: "So, Shelly Pomroy and I were thinking of getting together later for a little girl-on-girl, you wanna come with?" He's beginning to realize his Spidey-sense was correct. "Wow. You know, when you're about to soil yourself, you get a little twitch right in your eye." That's because he knows what you can do, Veronica, and he knows he's been a bad, bad boy. This recap is really very dirty. He tries to play it up like he has no idea what she's talking about, but Veronica calls his bluff and threatens to tell the sheriff that he was the one with GHB the night of Shelly Pomroy's party. She knows he was feeding her drinks. Sean butts in, claiming that Dick was the one feeding her the drinks and that it's Dick she should be talking to.
Beautiful blue flashback, Sean's perspective. Dick is carrying an unconscious Veronica into an empty bedroom as Sean and Beaver follow him. He's humming idiotically as Beaver's trying to get his attention. He sits down on the bed next to Veronica. Beaver's really worried, "You're gonna hurt her or something, man." Dick is DISGUSTING: "Oh, I'd hurt her. You, she might not even notice." Beaver stutters about how this is not funny and Dick wants to know what his problem is. Beaver wants to know if Dick is serious, or if he's just trying to get him to do something so he can laugh at him. Dick: "She's actually kinda hot. When she's quiet. Perfectly cute piece of ass. Ready and willing." Dick pats the bed and Beaver heads toward Veronica's general direction. "It's kinda the best you're gonna do, bro'. You're not real big with the sober chicks." Beaver says fine, just go, looking like he just wants Dick to get out of there already, and not in happy way. "That's my boy," Dick says, throwing him some condoms. Dick: "Make sure you suit up. You don't know where she's been." It's worth noting that in Sean's version of this flashback, he was standing back and looking nervous the whole time, and that he distinctly saw Beaver reaching for the condoms as he and Dick were leaving. End flashback. Sean tells Veronica that her issues are with Dick and Beaver, not him. Parse that sentence for me, will ya? But Veronica always has the best parting shots: "Well, I'm just sorry you had to witness it. That must have been awful for you."
Neptune High parking lot. Veronica is sitting in her car, the jaunty little Le Baron's engine is idling, and Dick's surfboard is resting precariously underneath her front tire. Maybe I should have said this earlier, but Casablancas boys, WATCH OUT. Dick approaches. Veronica: "Hiya, Dick. How's it goin'?" He sees what's under her front tire, and with a wonderful mix of panic and anger from Ryan Hansen, Dick asks her what the hell she's doing. "Um, trying to get your attention." Good job, sweetheart, I think it's working. He tries to make a move to rescue the board, but Veronica awesomely revs her engine. "Got a couple questions for ya." Dick: "You're frickin' nuts, you know that?" Veronica: "Insulting me now seems like a good plan, how?" Hee. He holds up his hands in surrender, and with one glance at his board to make sure it's still safe, asks her what she wants. Answers, and quickly, did he give her GHB the night of Shelly's party? He's confused at first, but then says he's not even the one who had it. Veronica revs her engine again and Dick's eyes get all wide. "I mean, I got some, but I didn't give any to you. I swear on my life." Veronica: "See, when you say that, it makes me hope you're lying." She knows he brought her into the guest bedroom for Beaver. He says more like he found her there.
Beautiful blue flashback, Dick's version. Dick is walking past the open door of the bedroom and he sees Veronica crawling wantonly over to Beaver. "Beaver, don't go, you said you were gonna stay here with me," she says. Dick pauses as his version of Beaver says yeah, I'm here, I'll stay, and Veronica totally comes onto him, saying something about an awfully big bed. Basically, Dick is full of shit. He's almost as bad at this remembering thing as his girlfriend. They are a perfect match. Meanwhile, Dick's version of Veronica is giving Beaver a 'come hither' finger, and we fade out of flashback. Veronica: "Are you freaking kidding me? How 'bout reality, Dick." And, big mistake: "What? I'm just telling you what I saw. I didn't drug you. Don't go blaming me because you got all wasted and slutty." Veronica shoots Dick with the fiercest eye bullets I've ever seen and then slams her foot on the pedal, crushing Dick's surfboard fantastically against the curb. Awesome. Extreme, but awesome.
The Truth, It Hurts
Back inside the school, Veronica approaches Beaver at his locker. "Damn," she says, "you don't look happy to see me." But he's trying valiantly and gives her a cheery greeting that is actually pretty hilarious with the look of complete terror on his face. Whiny terror. She tells him she's really well, that she "just found out that the dream I had where I was locked all alone in a bedroom with you was reality. Care to share some details, lover?" I love the way she says 'lover.' It's so threatening. But Beaver says nothing happened and tries to move away from her. She stops him. Veronica: "Actually, something did happen. And I might not remember the details, but I sure as hell remember the morning after." Beaver looks guilty and starts rambling about how, he swears to God, he didn't touch Veronica and how Dick was all after him and how there was this girl Cindy who was kind of easy, but she ended up going home with Logan . . . at this Veronica looks up eagerly. If this is true, Logan has an alibi; she's free to trust him again. Unfortunately for her, though, I'm thinking the fact that she suspected him at all pretty much defeats the whole point of trust in the first place. And that's Veronica's whole problem. She tries to cover all of this up with a sarcastic "Sucks to be you, and?" So Beaver continues, saying that Dick brought him to the guest room with her but he just wanted to be left alone. Beautiful blue flashback, the guestroom scene from Beaver's point of view. Veronica is lying unconscious, Dick sitting near her legs, Beaver near her head. Sean is nearby watching as Dick starts to push up the bottom of Veronica's dress, asking Beaver if he needs help getting started. Beaver tells him just to go, which is Dick's cue to say "that's my boy," which is apparently true in all realities, and this time it's Sean tossing the condoms and telling little Beav to suit up. Since I like Cassidy Casablancas and Dick is pretty much an idiot slash asshole, I think I'm gonna go with Beaver on this one. When they've gone, Beaver gently pulls Veronica's dress back down, asks her if she's okay, and then proceeds to run outside to throw up on the patio, right in front of Carrie Bishop. Flashback over, Beaver tells Veronica that it was supposed to be his big night, lose his virginity, instead he ended up puking on someone's shoes. Veronica looks perplexed as to what to say to all of this; we can sense she believes him, too. Then she gives him a quick and hard punch to the shoulder, "Well, thanks for leaving me there." And if weren't so sad, I would laugh. Kristen Bell frequently rocks.
Mars Investigations. Veronica is sitting on the floor, which is covered with papers and files, methodically wiping out drawers. VMVO: "The whole ritual cleaning thing is textbook for a reason. For a couple of minutes, you're in control and everything's the way it should be, at least on the surface." Keith enters silently and watches her a moment; he's worried. "You see another special on dust mites?" Veronica: "They're disgusting, they're everywhere, and they must be destroyed." Hear, hear. Then I wouldn't have to spray Flonase up my nose every morning in order to avoid rhinocerous sized headaches and sinus infections. Keith asks if he has any messages, or did she boil them. Keith, you're so corny. She says just a fax and hands it to him. "Apparently that package you've been waiting for is in Vegas. Is it a white bengal tiger?" He tells her it's the entertainment lawyer he's been tracking for a year and that a source spotted him there. He says he's going to leave pretty soon, is she sure she doesn't want to stay with a friend? Veronica: "And miss an opportunity to have the apartment to myself so that I can raid the liquor cabinet and watch Skinemax? No, wait, I'm a girl. I'm gonna do my homework, secure all the locks, brush, floss, and crawl into bed with an overly protective pit bull." She kisses Keith's cheek and tells him he doesn't have to worry about her. He looks skeptical, but there's not really much he can do about it.
Echolls house of horrors. Logan enters the house to find Aaron in the kitchen, cooking. He greets Logan in a French accent: "Ah! Especially for you tonight, I am making what will be known from now on as 'Aaron's Extra Special Crab Cakes.' Ha ha!" Logan smirks and replies, "I'm sure I'll thoroughly enjoy them. Right up until my esophagus closes up, cuts off my air supply, and I shuffle off this mortal coil." Aaron is confused, but I applaud you Logan, you're so well read for such a rich boy. "Perhaps my last words will be, 'Great crab, papa.' Aaron still doesn't get it, so Logan spells it out for him: he's allergic to shellfish. Aaron: "Of course. I forgot." Yeah. Right. Logan's with me, he tells Aaron that he didn't forget, that he never knew. Aaron claims that he did, that he just got him confused with Trina. Logan kindly informs Aaron that he's the one allergic to shellfish and Trina's the one allergic to work. Hee. Aaron: "You know, somehow you got it in your head that I don't know a thing about you. Well, I got news for you: I'm your father. I raised you. I know plenty." Which is a nice fatherly speech, but, Logan has him. Round one of 'How Well Do You Know Your Son'? "When is my birthday?" Aaron huffs like he's offended by the question, but then obviously has to guess. "February," he says, taking a chance. Logan: "Wow, you got a vowel right." Logan, who was clearly hoping that he wouldn't be proved right moves to leave, disappointed, but Aaron grabs him, angry. "You know, I have been pretty tolerant of your wiseass remarks but you are pushing it." Logan looks down at Aaron's tight grip on him, and Aaron releases him. And Aaron's just kind of pathetic now. You can't help but feel sorry for him, like, Harry Hamlin does a really good job playing this guy so that you honestly can't tell if he's trying to reform, or if he really did deserve that Oscar he got. Yes, Aaron Echolls, Oscar winner. Also, People magazine's Sexiest Man of the Year, 1986. He asks Logan if it counts for anything at all that he's trying, and Logan says he's accumulating points. Aaron makes sure to emphasize that he's committed to their family, that he's committed to Logan, but Logan says he's got limited time. As soon as his mother's inheritance comes in on his eighteenth birthday --whenever that is-- he's out of there. Bon Voyage. He holds up his fingers like Richard Nixon.
Random coffee shop. Veronica is waiting at the bar, trying to get Carrie Bishop's attention in between customers. Carrie comes over and asks what she can get for Veronica, who answers, "I'll have a hot chocolate, crème brulee and some answers, if you can give me about two minutes." Carrie is not thrilled. The last time she and Veronica came in contact, it didn't end very well. Veronica asks her about Shelly's party, and when Carrie assents, Veronica informs her that she doesn't, "at least not between passing out in the back yard and waking up the next morning in the guest room." She tells Carrie that she thinks she probably saw her. Carrie says she did indeed see Veronica. Beautiful blue flashback. The guest room, again. Veronica is on the bed with someone on top of her as Carrie walks by. She's removing the mystery man's shirt, and he's pulling off her underwear. We see Carries disgusted face: "Oh, God. Shut the door next time," she says as she pulls it closed. End flashback; Veronica has a look of shock on her face. But who was the mystery man? Who did Carrie say she was getting it on with?
The Kane estate. Veronica is barely able to contain herself, holding her arms close, as she knocks on the door. Duncan answers, still with the beard of angst, which is good, because he's gonna need it for this scene. Veronica: "Welcome back. So, Carrie Bishop said that you and I were in bed together the night of Shelly Pomroy's party last year. Care to elaborate?" Duncan gets this weird look on his face. He wants to know what she's talking about, but she wants to know what happened. He tells her that he was incredibly wasted that night, that he barely even remembers it. Veronica: "That's kind of a thing with you, huh? Carrie said she walked into the guest bedroom and you were naked and on top of me." She must be really upset to bring up his possible epileptically inspired possible murder of his sister. Duncan can't believe what he's hearing, and then Veronica busts out the 'R' word. Duncan: "I raped you!?" Veronica is crying now, as Duncan goes on about now he's a murderer and a rapist, and yes, Duncan, catch up, please. And then he says something strange, why is she acting like she wasn't there? Veronica doesn't know what he's talking about. Duncan: "You were there too, you know. I-I thought we had some unspoken rule, like we're never gonna talk about it but now I raped you."
Beautiful blue flashback, Shelly's party. Duncan walks into the guest bedroom to find a loopy Veronica, who tells him she's glad he's there. "Hi, baby," he says. "Miss you," she replies. She reaches up and puts her arms around him; they're both smiling. End flashback.
Duncan confirms that she doesn't remember; isn't it a bad feeling, he wants to know. Veronica is incredibly upset by now, I'm really wanting to turn it off because I can't watch this shit anymore, but it's so good. Veronica wants to know why if it was so tender and loving, he left her there to wake up by herself without any underwear. He tells her he had to get out of there, that he'd woken up and realized what they'd done. We briefly flash back to that morning as Duncan wakes up with Veronica next to him. Veronica wants to know what he did that was so bad, and he says that he slept with her. Veronica either doesn't understand, or she just really wants him to say it. I can't make up my mind which one it is, but either way, she asks him if it was consensual, and he affirms. Veronica, about to lose it: "Then what about that is so wrong?" Duncan, screaming: "Because you're my sister, and I knew it! E-even after my mother told me, I tried to just cut you out of my life. I loved you! I tried not to, I tried not to, but it won't go away!" If this shit wasn't so sad, I'd probably laugh. I mean, incest! I'd say that's a pretty good reason for breaking up with someone, so, mystery solved. Yay? Veronica is sobbing uncontrollably now as we see that Celeste is watching them. She looks back at Duncan, who sinks to his knees, and runs as fast as she can back to her car and out of there. Man, I should have taken a Valium before watching this episode.
Deranging Denouement
Veronica is sitting in her car, stoic faced in front of Wallace's house. I'm assuming she's trying to get up the courage to go inside, but before that can happen, Wallace comes out, "I was about to call the police on you, stalker," he jokes. But her face suddenly breaks and Wallace is scared shitless. Usually Veronica only cries in places where no one can see her, like the side of the road, or the shower. Cut to the two of them, later, sitting on his bed, and we can assume that Veronica has told him everything. About the rape, the murder, and Logan. Veronica is wiping some tears off of her face, "This is so not an 'I told you so,' but do you see why I kinda keep things to myself?" He does, and she thinks she can go home now. Wallace tells her he thinks she should stay there, but Veronica insists she's fine. He says he wishes he could do or say something to make it better. Veronica: "You don't have to say anything. That's kinda the good part." Aww, friends. She reaches for her laptop and pulls it over to them. "You say I never tell you anything when I ask for favours?" Wallace says, yeah, she so doesn't need to worry about that right now, but she's learned her lesson. "I'm not worried. Here's everything there is to know." She sets the computer on his lap as we see that her desktop is a picture of her and Lilly from Homecoming. "Lilly Kane Murder Investigation," it reads. Wallace looks over at her and smiles. I love these two. Cut to later, Veronica is getting ready to leave and she pauses at the kitchen door when she sees Alicia making a sandwich. "Don't tell me Wallace still has you cutting his crusts off?" She asks how Veronica is, and I have to assume that she was being a nosy mother and overheard at least some of Veronica and Wallace's conversation. Veronica apologizes again for the bug, and tells her she's glad she and Keith are dating, that they're good together. Alicia says she knows, and Veronica tells her that she makes Keith happy. Alicia expresses regret over their fight and worries she might have ruined things, but Veronica tells her not to worry, her Dad's not going anywhere.
Cut to Vegas, a phone rings and a woman answers. It's a hooker, and it's Keith making an appointment. Her name is Cheyenne, and she's listed in the phonebook under 'escort.' This must have just been a sight-gag, because there's no way that anyone watching this actually believed Keith would call a hooker. I mean, come on, he's a P.I. If he's callin' a hooker, he's got a reason. Whoops, that was sort of a spoiler.
I judst want toapologize as of now because I am not deleitin g anything even though I'm kind of drunk in Seattle. But I love you guys and I wnt to finish this recap so I can go on my road trip in peace but I had a wine and then I had a 151 with some Captian MorgaN. oH Yeah. But so Veronica and Logan are in Veronica's house and I"ve had to tyupe this like ten times because I accidentally keep deleting it so I'm sorry and I hope I get more sober as the rest of this recap goes on. But theure on the couch and Veronica is apologzing to Logan about accusing him of raping her anbd Logan is jusst glad she's okay, which is awefully nice of him,donl't you think? Logam: "Well, do you want to tell me about it? I mean, you-you don't have, you don't have to tell me anything. I'm just here for whatever you need, okay. " She goes on to tell him that she was drugged but she was with Duncan, and even though she doesn't remember it, it wasn't rape. Just incest. But she doesn't tell him that part, gross. His face is so heartbreaking oh jeez Logan I want to suck on y9our bottom lip. Logan is so upset for her, that she even had to go through this, and I'm so happy theymade up.
Back to Vegas. Keith marsipan is doing his detective thing. Hooker lady comes to his room all ready to mingle with the dingle, but he's just entraps her into a confession that she was with Abel Koontz the night of Lilly's murder and therefore he has an alibi, even if an illegal one. But guys seriously, thbe punishment for being with a whore is so much better than killing a seventeen year old. Seriously. I have to pee please excuse me./ Ok I'm back. Cheyenne --t he hooker-- is not too psyched about hte idea of confessing, becase, "He confessed. For whatever reason. If I come forward, I'll be the most famous working girl on the planet. I have a five year old son who thinks I'm a stewardess." Keith: "A girl was murdered. Don't you think the person who killed her should be the one in jail." Yes, Keith, you are so goo d and you are so right. Why arem't more people as cool as you.
Echools house of horrors. We see Veoncia and Logan totally sucking face from behind the houses' front doors, and they are still doing ti wehn they open it. Buyt wait, surprise! Aaron has decided to invite like all of Neptune High over to their house to try to kiss up to his son. Or be a good father. Everyone stares in horror as Logan--the '09er King-- makes out with Veronica Mars, whore of Babylon. I love this moment so so much evne when I'm drunk as a skunk. That is a dumb ass metaphor whou thought of that drunks do noty get skunk I mean come on, they are animals. Lpgamn is so fujnny: " So is this party nine months early or three months late? " he doesn't know, baby.You know what I think that reflex thing is true I am such a bad tuper right now. Aaron tells Logan in front of all of his riends that he has a lot of year sto make up for./ But Aaron dumpling, I don't ever think you can make up for the cigarette bu8rns and the belt beatings. Even one as early as three months ago. You are a bad daddy. But this scene is cute;. Whategver. Haha ha you guys probably can't read this at all/ Logan holds out his hand to Veronica, saying to her with his body language that he watts every one to know they are dating. She takes his hand and Dick approaches both ot hem: "Dude, what the hell are you doing? Please tell me this is like, some new reality show called "My Skank"? " VBUt Logan is awesmoe. He's like, Goobye, Dick " Get out of my house. You have a problem with Veronica, you leave. Actually, you have a problem with Veronica, you're pretty much dead to me, so just, like, evaporate or something, I dunno." If you guys are sondering why the quotes are tyuped so well it's because I copied and pasted the,m. He continues, "That's kind of a general invitation. If you don't like my girlfriend then… " This is Dick's cue to back off, and Duncan's to be a jealous asshole. He leaves, walking wordlessly by both Veronica and Logan out to his car.
Okay, so I gave on the drunk recapping after three paragraphs and passed out on the couch, don't worry. While I don't have the energy to delete all of that nonsense and re-write it, the rest of this recap will be up to standard. Also, I will not be drinking 151 anymore. Veronica moves awkwardly into the room, probably very upset that her make-out party for two with Logan got interrupted by everyone who hates her. She comes across Madison holding two drinks. Madison asks her if she's, like, dating Logan now. When Veronica says yes, Madison says, "Do you think his dad's gonna do another movie soon or what? He's way too cute to become a has-been." She offers Veronica one of the drinks. "You want one? They said it was sugar-free but, I don't know." Veronica skeptically takes the drink and heads over towards Meg, who tells her she doesn't want to drink it. "I'm betting Madison gave you a trip to the dentist. It's her thing. She does it to people who she doesn't like. She spits in the cocktail and calls it a trip to the dentist, 'cause we're in eighth grade." Veronica looks at her drink in disgust.
Quick cut as Veronica storms over towards Madison, grabs her arm, and demands in a very upset voice to know whether Madison gave her a trip to the dentist the night of Shelly's party. Madison acts confused, like, what are you talking about Veronica? So Veronica spells it out for her: "Did you spit in my drink and give it to me at Shelly's?" Madison: "Like I was the only person whose spit you had in your mouth that night." Zing! But also, bitch. Beautiful blue flashback. Dick walks over to Madison, kisses her, and hands her a drink. When she discovers that it's real soda, she reams him about feeding her lard. Just then she spots Veronica walking by so she smiles evilly, spits in the drink and blindly hands it over her shoulder. Veronica takes it; the rest is history. End flashback. Veronica is staring at Madison, stunned. "Do you have any idea what you did to me?" Madison: "Oh my God! I spit in your drink. You are like, so scarred for life." Veronica just shakes her head as Madison walks away.
Outside, Duncan is pacing by his car. He goes to open the door but finds that it's locked. After looking for his keys unsuccessfully, he tries the door again and again, each time with more agitation. Eventually he just starts punching and kicking it, rage all over his face. He picks up a shovel and starts smacking the crap out of it, smashing the window. But he keeps hitting the car more and more violently. Meg comes running out of the house. She frantically asks what he's doing and tells him to stop, but he ignores her completely. I'm not even sure he knows she's there. This is obviously what one of his epileptic fits looks like, and frankly, I'm a little freaked out. Meg: "This is about Veronica, isn't it? You're still in love with her, right? Answer me." Oh, Meg, if only it were that simple. He finally drops the shovel, but continues to just kick his car repeatedly. Duncan is kind of crazy when he doesn't take his medication.
Back to the now pretty depressing and slowly emptying party. Aaron is showing a couple out and telling them he hopes they got enough to eat. Logan and Veronica are pretty much nowhere to be seen. Oh, wait. There they are, holding hands and walking out the back door. Heading towards the pool house. And they're pretty much really cute getting there, with the hand-holding, and him swinging her around off of stuff. Logan: "Now, see, why can't it just be like this?" He kisses her. "Why do there have to be all those other people in this world?" The next part is just really cute and schmoopy, but I will not recap you to save you the vomit. Basically they kiss a lot and he calls her short and there's straddling and pulling of pigtails. But he halts the fun for a second, saying that he needs to tell her something. Veronica: "I'm sorry, we're past the confessional part of this program. We're on to the make-out." Hee, meta. But Logan is serious; it's about Shelly's party. Beautiful blue flashback. Remember when Meg saw people doing body shots off of Veronica? It was Logan who was organizing. He sprinkles some salt on her and puts a lime in her mouth for another guy to enjoy. Back in the present, Veronica tells him she knew about the salt lick, but that she's choosing to ignore it as one of those not real things. But there's more. Back to the flashback, we see that it was Duncan who rescued Veronica from the bodyshotters, yelling at Logan, "What the hell are you doing? She can barely sit up, you freak!" Logan tells him to chill out, and secretly puts GHB in a cup for Duncan. He apologizes to Duncan and hands him the cup, "Hey, I'm sorry, dude. You know, man, you're, I mean, you're totally right. It's no way to have fun, huh?" Duncan takes the drink. End flashback. Logan looks really upset, but Veronica is surprisingly calm about this new revelation. When he says he just wanted Duncan to have some fun, what with Lilly, Veronica just tells him that he didn't know what was going to happen. Logan: "I'm the one who's responsible for what happened to you. And I can't take that I hurt you like that. I can't take that I hurt you when all I want to do is protect you." Say it with me, now: awwww. They kiss some more, and then he interrupts it, saying he wants her to trust him. Well, good luck, buddy. But Veronica says she does. We'll see about that, sweetie. Like I said before, I don't think she quite gets the concept of trust. It doesn't mean trust only when you think they're trustworthy; it means trust all the time. There is more kissing, and then they decide they need refreshments. The liquor key breaks in the cabinet so Logan goes to get something from the main house. At first Veronica just lies on the bed, but then she notices something strange in the ceiling fan, and then some wires that lead from it to a cabinet in the wall. We can see it's a camera, but she only gets it when she opens the cabinet and sees herself on the monitor. She is immediately incensed, and obviously doesn't trust Logan even enough to let him come back and explain. She just assumes he knew about it, which is dumb and annoying, but completely in character. I just feel sorry for both of them. Her, because she's never really going to be able to trust anyone, and him because he's doomed to love her and be tortured to death by it.
Cut to outside of the Echolls's house as Weevil pulls up on his motorcycle. He hands Veronica a helmet as she thanks him for coming, and they pull away. Soon we're back at Casa Mars, and Veronica calls, "Honey, I'm home," as she enters. She's stopped cold in her tracks by whoever she sees. The camera pans over and we see that it's Lianne Mars, Mommy Dearest, back from alcohol Never-Neverland. Lianne: "So am I, honey. So am I." Veronica has the worst life ever.