14. Ships and Giggles
14. "Flight of the Phoenix," Battlestar Galactica
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Season Two, Episode 9
Original Airdate: September 16, 2005
Written By: Bradley Thompson, David Weddle
Directed By: Michael Nankin
Starring: Jamie Bamber as Captain Lee "Apollo" Adama
James Callis as Dr. Gaius Baltar
Leah Cairns as Margaret "Racetrack" Edmondson
Paul Campbell as Billy Keikeya
Nicki Clyne as Specialist Cally Henderson
Aaron Douglas as Chief Galen Tyrol
Tricia Helfer as Number Six
Michael Hogan as Colonel Saul Tigh
Alessandro Juliani as Felix Gaeta
Kandyse McClure as Anastasia "Dee" Dualla
Mary McDonnell as President Laura Roslin
Bodie Olmos as Brendan "Hot Dog" Costanza
Edward James Olmos as Commander William Adama
Grace Park as Lieutenant Sharon "Boomer" Valerii
Tahmoh Penikett as Lieutenant Karl "Helo" Agathon
Donnelly Rhodes as Doc Cottle
Katee Sackhoff as Lieutenant Kara "Starbuck" Thrace
Synopsis: The Cylon prisoner, Sharon, informs Commander Adama that the Galactica has been infected with a computer virus that is tampering with the basic ship functions and is scanning them for weaknesses. All this is preparation for a major assault by the Cylon Raiders. So with the clock ticking, Adama must pull himself together and decide whether or not she can be trusted. Meanwhile the flight crew is hard at work on a new fighter named The Blackbird.
Trivia:
- The new type of stealth Viper that the crew creates is named the Blackbird - the same as the SR-71, considered the first stealth aircraft.
- Flight of the Phoenix is the title of a 1964 novel where survivors from a plane crash in the middle of a desert attempt to rebuild the plane from the wreckage. Two movies, one made in 1965 and the other in 2004, were also made following a similar story line inspired by the book.
- The name of the DDG-62 engines used in the Blackbird were a reference to the real-life U.S. Navy destroyer, the U.S.S. Fitzgerald, DDG-62. Staff writer Bradley Thompson and science advisor Dr. Kevin Grazier toured the Fitzgerald as part of a "Friends and Family Day." The DDG-62 reference in this episode was a subtle way of thanking the captain and the crew of the Fitzgerald for their hospitality.
Extra Goodies: Jacob's Vastly Superior TWOP Recap, Screencaps, Episode Transcript, Commentary Podcast Transcript
THE CYLONS WERE CREATED BY MAN. THEY EVOLVED. THEY REBELLED. THERE ARE MANY COPIES. AND THEY HAVE A PLAN.
These Broken Wings
Previously on Battlestar Galactica: Galactica was infected by a Cylon virus during Tigh's reign of power; Cally shot Boomer #1 and killed her after she popped a couple caps in Commander Adama's ass, also, she was in love with the Chief; Starbuck found Helo on Caprica and tried to kill the Cylon Boomer (#2) that he knocked up while thinking she was the original Sharon and now they're in LOVE even though she's totally the enemy; Roslin announced to the fleet that she had terminal breast cancer and only has a few months to live.
We open on the Cylon fleet; the Raiders are red-eyed and hungry, searching for the last dregs of humanity. They mean to destroy us all. This our life now.
Galactica, the hangar bay. Chief approaches Viper 289er, which is apparently in for repairs. He caresses it up and down, sizing it up. It's banged up pretty bad, leaking fluid. His hands move gently, fingers lingering on its surface for longer than you would expect. This bird means something to him -- just what that is, we're not sure yet.
The Officer's Mess. Starbuck, Racetrack, Duck, Hot Dog, and some other douchebag are playing cards. In comes Helo -- burly, beautiful, Helo -- looking for Starbuck. When she sees him, her face does this happy thing -- but he had to stand outside for a couple seconds before he could come in. He knows he's not welcome there, despite Starbuck's friendly hand-grab. Racetrack, Duck, and Hot Dog exchange dirty looks. Helo introduces himself to Duck, who ignores him like an asshole. But guess what, his callsign is "Duck," so he doesn't really have room to talk. Helo's hand is left hanging -- Hot Dog looks a little guilty -- and Racetrack is a bitch, as Starbuck stares them all down. She invites Helo to sit in on the game, but he defers: "Maybe next time." And now Starbuck has officially been put on defense. Duck chimes in, rolling his eyes: "So he's the Cylon lover." Starbuck: "You know what? I don't care who or what he fraks. He saved my ass down there, all right?" He backs down a little, playing innocent: "How could anyone fall in love with a toaster, though?" Starbuck: "Same way I hear everyone was high-fiving our Sharon right before she put two in Adama's chest. The bastards frak with your head." Hot Dog: "Yeah, just ask the Chief."
Back to the hangar, and the Chief. He pulls the tarp off of the wrecked Viper. He leans close, resting his face on its hull, running his hands on the sides, listening. Flash to earlier, when he and Sharon were in love -- back when she wasn't a toaster, but just his hot, against-the-regs girlfriend. Back then his hands made the same movements on her naked skin that they are making right now on 289er. What's the difference? They're both machines. They don't have souls. But he concentrates all the same. He remembers all the same. Her chin, her elbow, its wing, a broken window, the underside of her ear, oil dripping from it's undercarriage. "I knew it," he says. He rips out the Viper's innards and slaps a sticker on her front: "Unserviceable -- Scrap." He needs a drink.
The tool room, there is a large sign bearing the words "Welcome Back, Cally," who enters fresh from her month long stint in the brig for killing Boomer -- Sharon -- the Chief's secret Cylon lover. They greet her with pride. Seelix, Jammer, and Figurski especially feel that she should have gotten a metal "for popping that toaster." In walks the Chief, and the party immediately stops, but Cally approaches him anyway, thanking him for going to bat for her. He brushes it off with not a little indifference: "Forget it," he says, "I need all the knuckledraggers I can get." This ain't no party for him. He walks off with a beer; his eyes are dead.
The hangar bay. Helo, unwanted in the mess, is sitting in a Raptor drinking a beer. From off camera we hear footsteps, and Chief's voice says: "Sharon flew forty-seven missions in this thing. Still couldn't trap a landing worth a damn. Had to bend the undercarriage back into place after every landing." He's still back in that other life, back when there was only one Sharon, and she was his. Helo is resigned to this conversation, one that's been brewing ever since Helo fell in love with a girl who was supposed to be in love with someone else, only to find out that she was a totally different girl with the same memories. It's complicated, but it doesn't feel that way. Helo: "Approaches made her nervous. She was afraid you'd be watching." Chief, almost immediately: "I usually was." These two men have to drink alone.
The mess. Racetrack throws in her cards because she knows she's going to lose. She knows Starbuck's got the winning hand because of the fold of one of her cards. Starbuck gives up her hand with typical Starbuck grace: "So, life's a bitch. What do you want to do, cry about it?" Racetrack, being lame but having a point: "No, I just want it to end, okay? The bad food, the endless rotations, pretending that a card game is the high point of our day." She gets up to leave, and Starbuck says, with a kind of innocent faith that always gets to me because she's so bad-ass: "It's not going to last forever, all right? Earth is out there." Racetrack drags her coat over Starbuck's head. She hasn't seen what Kara has; she can't have the same faith. As far as she's concerned, there is no Earth. She dismisses the proof that Kara, the president, and the others found on Kobol, and Starbuck knows it's time for her to go, too. "And you guys can go to Hell. I'm going to find Helo." Racetrack: "Good idea. Maybe that Cylon whore taught him a few tricks." And Starbuck, unnable to ignore such a three-pronged insult, politely turns around, grabs Racetrack by the neck, and slams her face into the card table. I love Kara Thrace.
Back to the hangar, where Helo has almost emerged from the Raptor, and the Chief is blocking him in in a very alpha male sort of way. Helo apologizes for kind of sort of stealing his girlfriend, even though the Sharon that is currently locked in Galactica's brig is not physically the Sharon that the Chief fell in love with. Chief: "Just a couple lovesick kids, huh?" They're both glassy-eyed from the booze. "I know how she felt about you, okay? She loves you." Chief wants to know if Sharon filled Helo in on the rest of the plan. How they were going to muster out at the end of their service, get married . . . start a family. "I guess I'm just a big frakkin' idiot, though, huh? Probably that goddamn toaster's plan all along." Helo, normally the gentle giant, is angry at the slur: "Don't call her that." Chief continues: "Sucker some moron into giving her a kid. Hey, you know, but you know what? I should probably be grateful to you. Probably be grateful. You know why? Because that freak in her belly could have been mine." Helo pushes him out of the way, but he pushes too hard, and the Chief is too drunk. He falls off the Raptor, and Helo quickly goes to help him up, apologizing again, when the Chief sucker punches him. Helo tries to stop it, but Chief screams at him: "You don't get to call it!" Chief basically goes a little nuts, punching and throwing Helo all over the place, Helo only hitting back once, before the Chief has him pinned to the ground, a wrench about to come down on his head. But suddenly he stops and backs off, backs right into the Raptor and does this weird, defeated collapse down its side. Chief, in complete and utter despair: "I don't even know why I'm mad at you. My Sharon's dead. That thing in the brig, that isn't Sharon." Helo gets up and kicks a trash can.
The CIC. Dee is at the control panel when a loud buzzing of feedback comes over her headset. Tigh: "What the hell is that?" Gaeta tells him that it's them: "Something's triggering our com system to broadcast an automatic signal." Tigh, the captain of panicked obviousness: "Which the Cylons could trace to get a fix on our position." Adama tells him to assume that for now, and to get a fix on the emergency jump coordinates in case the Cylons show up. He's just giving Dee an order, when the control panel in front of her starts to go haywire and explodes right in her face, expelling her violently from her chair.
Meanwhile, in the cold black, the Cylon fleet keeps coming.* Credits.**
Singing in the Dead of Night
A Cylon Raider's red eye flashes, and we're back in the CIC, where Adama is leaning concerned over a fallen Dualla. He packs her off to Doc Cottle despite her protests of health. Tigh orders Gaeta to find out what happened. Gaeta tells Adama: "A power surge energized the board. System's been twitchy ever since the Cylons infiltrated our network." Adama says this is more than a glitch, and Tigh seizes the chance to exert his pompously futile authority over Gaeta: "Commander's right. I don't care if you have to go through this program line by line; fix it." Asshole. Gaeta's all, the fuck you just say? Except what he really says is this: "Sir, I'm running every diagnostic we've got. Checking each line of code could take days." Tigh: "I am not interested in excuses. Fix it!" And while you're at it, I don't like cancer. Cure it! Also, invent time travel and find a way to defeat the Cylons, and get me a beer while you're at it! Stop covering your ass with bluster, old man. It ain't attractive. Gaeta's just as fed up as me: "It's not an excuse, sir. It's a frakking fact!" Adama tells him to pull it together. Tigh: "What the hell is his problem?" Besides your ginormous alcholic ass? I definitely don't miss this old Tigh; the new and improved Cylon edition is much better. Adama: "Months on the run, and what do we have to show for it? Casualties. Deteriorating conditions. This crew needs a rest. It's finally hitting them, that's all. Our old lives are gone. The only thing we have to look forward to is this."
The hangar. A very beautiful man named Lee Adama, callsign Apollo and captain of the air group, enters and asks the Chief about Viper 289er and becomes very upset upon being told of its scrap-heap potential. "Damn it, I need that ship online." Chief's face is a mass of light purple bruising as he tells the captain he's just going to have to deal with the loss. "What can I tell you, captain? Engine mounts are shot. Cockpits seals are cracked. If it was a horse, I'd shoot it." Apollo seems to realize his mistake and backs off, just asking the Chief to help him out and do his best: "No one's expecting any miracles." Apollo walks away, and Chief gets thoughtful face: "Maybe that's the problem." Later that night in his bunk, Chief sits up; he can't sleep. We hear a voiceover: "Frak it. Why not?"
He gets out of his bunk, and still in his civvies, heads back to the hangar. Once there, he makes himself a box on the ground with yellow and black caution tape; he gets out his tools and starts welding. He's deep into his work by the time his crew start coming in first thing in the morning; he's been working all night. They stumble in bleerily, wanting to know what's going on. Chief lifts his welding mask off of his face with a lightness that he's been missing for a while now; he almost smiles. They're going to build a new fighter. They aren't as excited as he thought they'd be; they aren't excited at all. Jammer: "What about the rest of the ships? I'm three days backlogged on repairs as is." He tells them it's strictly an off-duty project and that no one is to take a minute off of repairs: "You got it? You don't think we can do this?" They look doubtful, and worried, and tired. Jammer says he wouldn't even know where to start, and Figurski's like, what's new with that. Jammer: "Oh, screw you. Okay, he's talking about fabricating a frame, avionics, life support. It's frakkin' impossible." Chief is hurt, and very disappointed. "Forget you," he says, " I don't need you." Cally tries to step in, but he cuts her off the same as before and orders them to get back to work.
Sickbay. Doc Cottle hands Laura Roslin, the president of all humanity, a file folder full of test results. She immediately deflates upon reading them. I mean, you can actually see it; Mary Fucking McDonnell could do this in her sleep, but it's so painful to watch. The Doc is grim; he doesn't say a word as Roslin takes the file and heads to the back of the room, her hand shaking as she reads. She looks up, and suddenly she just looks old. And tired. Mary McDonnell does this wonderful thing then where she leans forward without moving her feet, and throws the test results onto the nearest bed, like they're diseased, and she has to get them as far away from her as possible. She takes off her glasses and prepares for the worst. She is near tears, but her pride fights them back: "How much time do I have?" Doc Cottle tells her weeks, maybe a month. She turns away from him and he looks at the ground; it takes a lot to get to this guy, but damn it all to Hell, this is Laura Roslin we're talking about. She retreats behind a curtain, to hide from it all, but we can still see her shadow behind it, outlined by the light. We see her wipe her face and fix her hair before she storms out of the curtain, ready for business once more. The time for grieving is over. "Will I be able to work?" He nods, relieved to be talking of science: "Unless the cancer goes to your brain; if that happens, you'll . . ." But she stops him, shakes her head, and opens her mouth a little. No words come out. She can't think about that right now.
The firing range. We open on several bullets being plunged into a target with Boomer's face on it. It's Lee doing the shooting, and he hasn't missed once. His face is pure concentration. After all, she did shoot his father. The camera pans out and we see that Starbuck and Hot Dog are shooting right alongside him. He runs out of bullets and Kara looks over at him: "Someone's a tad aggressive." He tells her to shut up and shoot. "My God, between you and Racetrack, it's like -- having a conversation is like walking through a minefield." You know things are screwed up when Kara Thrace is telling you so. She is the queen of that particular territory, and Apollo knows it: "You're the last person who should be lecturing me about manners." Starbuck: "From what I hear, you've also been riding Chief Tyrol pretty good." He tells her to press it, and the picture of the now bullet-faced Sharon comes toward them. He takes it down and puts up a new one, saying that he just reminded the Chief that Viper maintenance takes precedence "over his, um, hobby project." Kara giggles, and we see what they don't: the oxygen levels in the room have started to inexplicably decrease.
The oxygen continues to drop as they talk about the new fighter. Lee wants to know if she actually thinks "that piece of junk" is going to fly, and she bets him fifty cubits that it will. She's even gigglier now. Apollo: "Yeah, and who's gonna fly it? It's not gonna be me." The camera pans to Starbuck and Hot Dog, who chimes in like the big dumb idiot that he is: "Don't look at me!" Apollo's like, I wasn't looking at you, dumbass. Who do you think the best pilot in the fleet is, and who do you think I've been flirting with for the last few months? Not you! Starbuck stops shooting and does this weird silent laugh thing, which eventually turns into a real laugh, almost uncontrollable (Lee's like: what the frak is wrong with you?), as she says: "I'll fly it. I'll fly it." He takes off his glasses and his earphones, and looks at her in disbelief. Also, a little bit of wonder, because that's the power she holds over him. Lee: "You?" She sounds almost drunk as she takes off her glasses: "Me." She smiles like a five year old. He wants to know why. Kara: "Because," she takes a drunk breath, "While everyone else is standing around whining," Hot Dog doesn't look so good, "the Chief is doing something positive." Lee harrumphs, and this scene is glorious on so many levels. They are acting like nutjobs, and it would be hilarious, and it kind of still is, except for that nasty white elephant in the middle of the room. As Hot Dog stumbles around in the background, Lee and Kara get up in each other's faces like flirty drunks. Kara giggles, and Lee just looks proud of himself; the sexual tension is yummy in a weird morbid way. While the camera is focused on the two lunkheads, we see a blurry Hot Dog collapse and fall to the ground. Kara looks over at him and bursts into hysterical laughter.
She GUFFAWS as Lee goes to check on Hot Dog. She joins him on the ground, giggling like a crackhead. It is so infectious, and kind of scary. This next part is one of my favorites in the whole series, so I'm going to let Jacob from TWOP tell it better. When Kara whispers to Lee, "His lips are blue," and then to Hot Dog, "You look like a blueberry!" Jacob says:
"Katee Sackhoff manages to somehow slide through the gap between girlish and ghoulish like she's paper-thin. I'd never thought about that being something you could be good at, but she's so good at it, especially in these very extenuating circumstances. Apollo informs us that "there's no oxygen in here. There's no oxygen in here. There's no oxygen." He follows up this very observant and not at all redundant comment by trying the hatch for a sec and then . . . throwing himself repeatedly at the window glass like a retarded gypsy moth. I love this man."
Kara is still laughing, but now she's sweaty, and her laughter is beyond her control. It's desperate. Lee falls slumped down the door, gasping for breath. And now that I've done with the joyous laughter, this scene suddenly scares the shit out of me.
Back from what I'm sure was an excruciating commercial break if I were watching this live, the oxygen in the room is now officially gone. They are breathing nothing. We hear gasping as a hand reaches for a gun; this is a firing range after all. It's Kara, and she crawls as close as she can back over to the hatch door. She fires once and hits the doorway: a miss. Lee sees what she's trying to do. She fires again: another miss. Another shot, and this time she hits the glass, but it's not enough, and now she's out of bullets. Lee pulls himself excruciatingly over to a table to get some more rounds, and I am not at all ashamed to say that the little flash we get of his naked tummy makes my own tummy do little flip flops. For frak's sake, no one should be that beautiful. He knocks the bullets to the floor, and in this almost choreographed way -- their mouths opening and closing like fish out of water -- they load the gun together. And together, they fire it. Kara holds the gun, ready to pull the trigger, and Lee holds her hand steady, pushing it as far into the air as he can get. And just to give you an idea of the atmosphere in this scene, if I were to come into it without any context, I would probably think they were having sex. Just to be clear. It's kinda hot, or maybe I'm just a pervert. Two hands reach into the air, and the camera cuts to outside the hatch, which soon blows up spectacularly. They hit their mark. The camera floats back inside as air visibly rushes in. They smile in relief, and Lee tells her "nice shot." She curls up against him -- I swear to God -- postcoitally, and they just smile, laugh, and breathe.
Learn to Fly
The CIC, where Gaeta is telling both Adama men, Tigh, and Dr. Gaius Baltar that the computer just decided the room was over-pressurized and started bleeding out air to compensate. Lee's like, we totally would have been dead in two minutes, but mine and Kara's sweaty gun sex totally saved us. Gaeta tells Adama that he thinks he knows what's causing all these problems, but when Adama asks for the answer, it's Gaius who gives it to him: "It's a Cylon logic bomb. A heuristic computer virus. It's capable of learning, evolving, and probably running in parallel with every computer in the ship right now, just waiting to be activated. No doubt left behind when the Cylons infiltrated the network Colonel Tigh set up the day you were shot, Sir." Adama's all, that was weeks ago, and I thought we were done blaming my BFF for his idiotic actions whilst I was dying? Gaeta tells him it most likely took the virus this long to break their encrypted pass codes. "And once that happened, it started testing its ability to control our systems -- electrical, environmental." Adama cuts the shit: "How do you kill it?" Baltar says it will be extremely difficult, but Adama thinks they're lucky: they have an expert on board. To Lee: "Tell Helo to run this past our prisoner."
The hangar bay. Chief is lifting a heavy frame onto the new fighter and cursing up a storm. He puts it down in frustration, unable to lift it by himself. Figurski watches, feeling guilty. Chief is attempting to use some sort of lift crane thing when Figurski comes over. Chief rebuffs him -- as the music gets all sweet, so we know something good is happening -- but Figurski insists: "It's a two man job, Chief. You want this wing up or not?" Chief sighs, but inside he's doing a tiny happy dance. Together, he and Figurski lift the wing up, as Jammer and Cally look on. The lights flicker a little, and Jammer comes over to help them, too. The wing is in place, and suddenly we see that Commander Adama has been watching this whole time, and the frame of the ship is nearly complete. He doesn't say a word.
CIC. Dualla is looking at some sort of report, and she gets uh!oh! face. In the halls, she finds Adama and tells him they're continuing to experience power spikes and equipment failures across the ship. He thanks her and she goes, and he and Tigh go about their business a little, but he wants to talk about Chief's ship. Tigh thinks it's a waste of time, calling it "imaginary," but Adama notes that the deck crew doesn't seem to think so. The pessimist speaks: "We need to focus on the fleet we've got left, not get bogged down in some pipe dream. We should shut it down." You know what else you should shut down? Your face. Adama's got more sense, at least to give it a chance: "It may come to that. But this project, it's giving them something. I'm not going to take that away . . . until I have to."
The gym, where Apollo and Dee are "training." In this instance, "training" is defined as a woman pretending to want to learn how to fight and a man pretending to teach her, just so they can see each other half-naked and touch each other inappropriately without anything being technically amiss. But guess what, guys? NOT WORKING. Dee starts bouncing around with fists clenched, talking about being cleared for duty, and Lee's biceps are bulging. I mean, actually, they are a little too big at this instance, but MAN. They flounce around, pretending, and when Lee brings a fake knife into play and she gets him to the ground, "accidentally" falling on top of him, and coming just way the fuck too close, that's it. Dee, until this moment -- you skanky ho with a sweet boyfriend named Billy who is about to walk in and catch you being said skanky ho -- I liked you. But now. Now you are my enemy. Leave the Adama alone. Okay, but in all seriousness, I know she's idolized him for ages, because he's an Adama, and because his papa is like her pseudo-papa, but sweetie? Your denial starts here. You are the appetizer, and Kara be the frakked up entree. Billy thankfully chooses this moment to arrive, and Dee bounces over to him like nothing's wrong, leaving Apollo still on the ground, confused and horny. Serves him right. Too much fake sex for one day.
The brig, Sharon's cell. She and Helo are talking on their prison phones; he wants to know if she has memories of being with the Chief, even though she wasn't the one who actually was, and when she says 'yes,' he wants to know if she still loves him. But here's the deal about this Sharon: she may have other Sharon's memories, but the second those memories end is where her life began. When she diverged from other Sharon -- murderous, treacherous, confused Boomer -- is when she became her own person. None of them seem to have grasped this yet, if they ever will. Technically, Helo is the love of her life, and we know for a fact that Chief was the love of Boomer's. She tells him: "Helo. You're the father of my child. You're the first in my heart. And nothing is ever going to change that." He is assuaged, but now he has to move on to business, find out about the logic bomb. He shows her the code, and she is immediately engrossed. When he flips the page, she flips out, drops the phone. The poundy, poundy drums start going, and she picks the phone back up. She tells Helo that she needs to speak to Commander Adama right now, that it's a logic bomb all right, that it has been learning their systems. Helo asks for what, and she answers: "So they can turn Galactica's systems against you. Crash you into other ships, detonate your weapons stores, suffocate the crews." But Helo wants to know if they would really kill Galactica, because of her and her baby, and what the baby means for them as a race, and he has a point. Sharon: "I'm a liability to them, a mistake. Helo, this logic bomb will run its course in a matter of hours. once it does, the Cylons will be on top of us. They're gonna kill us all." Poundy, poundy, COMMERCIAL.
Into the Light of the Dark Black Night
Another shot of Cylon Raiders making their way to the fleet, and then Adama is in Sharon's cell. She rises, address him, but he interrupts her: "Whatever it is you have to say, make it quick." He can't even look at her without feeling that rage, the pain of her counterpart's explosive betrayal. She was like a daughter to him, like Dee, like Kara.
The hangar bay. Lee enters; half the deck crew are now working on the fighter, and Starbuck is sitting pretty, right on top of it. He's just gotta offer his opinion: "Well, I hate to say it, but you've got the cockpit too far back. You're gonna run into CG problems when you maneuver." Kara shoots back that they're aren't going for maneuverability, they're going for speed. "Besides," and here she gives him a shit-eating grin, "You didn't think this thing would fly anyway." Lee, ready to enter the banter they do so well: "Well, it sure as hell won't with the cockpit rammed up its a--" But he is stopped cold by Dee rolling out from under the fighter; he is speechless, and also nine years old. "Dee?" She's working on this thing, too: "Chief's great with the hydraulics, but this com system's a mess." Figurski "ten huts," and it's Colonel Tigh, down to have a look. "Before long we'll have the whole CIC down here. You working on this class project too, Apollo?" Lee looks like he wants to say yes, but Lee Adama couldn't tell a lie to save his life, even if he wanted to, so he says no. Tigh is pleased: "It's good to see someone has a little sense." He wants to know where the Chief is, and Kara points him in the right direction. It's worth noting that Kara is obviously engrossed in this project, otherwise we totally would have seen a Kara/Tigh smackdown, just like usual.
The tool room, where Chief is obviously up to something against regs. In walks Tigh, and Chief tries to pass off his stinky liquid as solvent, but that's like trying to fool a lion into thinking an antelope is a shoe. Tigh can smell alcohol from one thousand feet away with gum stuck up his nose, and he makes sure Chief knows it. Chief: "I need booze to trade for parts. I'm scrounging most of what I can from the fleet, but I need engines. I know I need Commander Adama's permission to cannibalize one of the wrecks." Tigh: "Engines or not, we both know that piece of crap out there is never going to fly." Chief says he's got to try, and Tigh wants to know why; he genuinely doesn't get it. The answer is simple: that ship, the work, "it's all I have left." Tigh pauses, almost out the door, trying so hard not to show emotion that poop is probably going to pop out of his ears, and as a casual afterthoughts, says: "I almost forgot. I promised the XO of the Baah Pakal I'd help him out." Tyrol doesn't understand at first. "Sir?" "He's got some obsolete DDG-62 engines taking up space on his flight deck. They're probably crap, but I told him that I would have a crew in there to haul 'em out as soon as possible." Chief gets it. On his way out, Tigh makes sure to grab a bottle full of "solvent."
Adama's quarters; Roslin is packing her things. Adama enters to inform her that her shuttle is ready, and she thanks him for letting her use his quarters during her stay. But before she goes, she has something to give him. She digs around in her bag and comes out with a book: "I wanted to return this." He looks crestfallen; if there's one thing this show has taught me, it's that everyone deserves love, even old people. Even leaders of a doomed humanity. "This was a gift," he says, because he doesn't understand her motives. Roslin: "'Never lend a book,' I know. But I've had it far too long. It belongs in your collection." She pauses here, and he gets it, although he's not sure of the cause: she's dying. "I'm late for a Quorum meeting. Is there a problem?" She dares him to acknowledge it, to say it out loud, but he returns to business as usual, or rather, in dire need. He informs her of the virus, and she sets heavily down on his couch. They don't have time for personal grievances. "Commander, I'm not sure what I can offer you here besides my moral support." But he needs more than that: he needs her advice.
CIC. Tigh is freaking out because he doesn't understand, and he's scared as hell, as usual -- but this time it's thanks to Gaeta and Baltar, who have come up with a plan to rid Galactica of the virus. "You want to what?!" Gaeta: "Completely erase our computer drives, cold restart the entire ship's system, then restore them using our prewar backups." Tigh: "Leaving us with our pants down until we're back online. The commander will never go for this." But they've already spoken to him, and he's considering it. Tigh and Baltar get titchy with each other, and the rest of the scene is just basically Gaeta and Baltar scaring the shit out of Colonel Tigh some more. With every passing second, his eyes get bigger, and it's kind of awesome.
Adama's quarters. He tells Roslin that the "Cylon Prisoner" has offered them a solution. Roslin: "And you're wondering whether you can trust her." He tells her it took everything he had not to put his hands around her throat. Roslin might not have been the best person to ask about trusting Cylons; she is notoriously airlock-happy, but Adama can't shake the feeling that his personal issues with Number Eight are skewing his perception. Adama: "This is not the one that shot me." Roslin asks him, "Can they really be that different from one another?" I believe the answer to that question is "yes," Laura darling, but since you're dying I'll let this one pass. You'll learn in time. She continues: "Commander, if you're asking me if it's possible that your judgment's been clouded by your history with this particular Cylon model, well, I'd have to say yes. But . . . we created them. There's always a chance we might find common ground."
Sharon is being led down Galactica's hallways in chains. She even has a collar. The last time an Eight was led down this hallway, she was shot and killed. Sharon is understandably jumpy, even though she is under heavy guard. She is led into the CIC, where everyone is staring at her, most of them with something like hatred, all of them with fear. But she sucks it up, announcing to the room, "We need to work quickly. We're on borrowed time," like nothing is amiss. Everyone just stares, but Adama tells them to let her go. They release her shackles, but the collar stays on. "Dee, do you still carry your father's old pocket knife?" Dee is creeped out, and wary, but Adama says to give it to her. She then asks Gaeta, like it's the most natural thing in the world, for a fiber-optic com link. "I need broadcast to all frequencies and direct link to the mainframe." She is very brave. Gaeta, to his credit, hurries to do her bidding, and calls her Sharon in the process. As soon as he's passed the cable off, blips show up on DRADIS. It's the Cylons, of course, just in time. Captain Obvious: "Bastards tracked us, all right." Adama orders the Vipers launched.
Out in space, we see all the Vipers shooting out into the black with trails of white orange. In the distance, the Cylons approach. Hot Dog broadcasts to Apollo that the Raiders are holding formation, and Apollo in turn informs Galactica. The Raiders form a tight, fence-like formation, and hold their position: waiting.
CIC. Meanwhile, Sharon has used Dee's knife to slice open her palm (Tigh: "What the hell?"), and is bleeding profusely as everyone looks on in horrified fascination. Sharon: "Okay, this is how it's going to work. The raiders are going to send a signal to activate the virus. It could take a few seconds. On my mark, initiate the computer wipe. Miss the window . . ." Gaeta: "The virus takes over every system in the ship." Sharon is kind of beautiful right now, Cylon or not, and that should be a lesson: "Yeah. Sometimes you gotta roll the hard six. Right, Commander?" I'm not sure what he's thinking; he probably isn't, either. Sharon takes a deep breath, and then begins inserting the cable deep into her palm, threading it up her wrist (Tigh: "What the hell is she doing?!"). The Cylons make contact, and Adama tells everyone to wait for his command. There is a short wait, but it feels like forever. Sharon's eyes are half-closed, and she is sweating profusely. Then: "Wipe the hard drives now." Adama: "Do it." Gaeta punches the button and the system iniitates the wipe.
Outside, the Vipers fly to meet the Cylons, and the formation is vast, mind-blowing even. Starbuck: "My Gods, what are they doing?"
Arise
CIC. Tigh is, big surprise, freaking out: "Weapons are still offline. No dradis. Systems down. We're looking at a godsdamned bloodbath. We're defenseless." Outside, the Cylons begin to descend on the Vipers, and Galactica. Everyone starts freaking out a little now; Tigh is practically hysterical with panic: "She set us up!" Adama gets a Marine to give him his sidearm and holds it to Sharon's head. She has her eyes closed, even though we can tell they are rolled up into the back of her head, and she just stands there as Adama addresses her: "If they're coming for you, they're gonna be very disappointed." There are a couple very tense seconds with poundy drums and Tigh screaming, "What are you waiting for?!" And then, Boomer answers him: "This." The systems blink momentarily, and then come back in full swing; Sharon collapses to the ground.
All the Raiders outside go limp and fall from formation. (Tigh: "What the hell?") Gaeta, slightly puzzled: "We just transmitted a signal." Outside, Apollo and the other Viper pilots are confused: "Uh, Galactica? They -- they seem to have lost power. They're drifting out of control!" Wait for it . . . Tigh: "What the hell?" Get a clue, old man; you are so out of it. Adama: "Cylons sent a computer virus. But we just sent one back." Everyone looks around in disbelief, and then just relief. Tigh gets on the radio to Apollo and tells him to kill the bastards.
Duck shouts in joy, and Apollo tells his Vipers they are weapons-free."Engage. This -- this is payback." And then they blow the shit out of thousands of Cylon Raiders. (When I first saw this episode, I was ecstatic about this scene, because they're all so happy. But watching it now, I gotta tell you, that's blood you see when those Cylons explode. Think about it.) Hot Dog, Starbuck, and Duck shout in gleeful violent joy. Back in the CIC, Adama stares bemusedly at Sharon. His face is unreadable, and for a moment you think something in the way of a thanks might be coming, and then: "Take this thing back to its cell." Oh, well. It takes time, I suppose.
The hangar bay, later. The Chief is working on the fighter, and is having trouble connecting a wire. Cally helps him put it in place, and he speaks to her civilly for the first time in months. She smiles joyfully. Starbuck is talking to Figurski above, trying to figure out where they can get some metal to cover the ship: "We're so damn close. There has got to be some extra metal lying around that we can use to skin this thing. Floorboards, extra bulkheads, something." But there is none. Helo interjects from behind: "Who says you need metal?" Later, the Blackbird is complete; it's black and angular, and kind of beautiful. Lee: "Carbon composite." Starbuck: "Good call, Helo." They all run their hands across it. Kara and Lee are in their flight suits, ready to go. Apollo notes that it's going to be "hard as hell to see it on DRADIS, but the question is, will it fly?" Starbuck: "Just watch me."
The launch bay. Starbuck is in the Blackbird, checking the systems. In CIC, Dee clears Apollo and Starbuck for launch. Kara switches the bird on, and it shakes ominously; she holds on tight. Starbuck: "Oh, don't blow up on me, you bastard." And off she goes, shooting through the launch tunnel. Dee: "Blackbird is away."
As the Blackbird shoots out of the tube, it veers wildly. Starbuck is having some trouble controlling its movement, but Lee just thinks she's trying to prove something: "Hey! Hey. Will you take it easy? Start slow. You're testing the ship. It's not about the pilot showing off." She is annoyed by his assumption and tells him she's not showing off. She swears mildly at the ship, trying to get it under control. Everyone on Galactica is listening to what's going on; they need this desperately. Helo, the Chief, the knuckledgraggers, and the CIC crew: all of them. When she finally manages to stabilize its steering, Starbuck decides to test that puppy out for real. "Let's see what this baby can do!" And she pushes the throttle full tilt; the Black bird shoots off into the distance. Apollo has lost sight of her, and everyone in the hangar listens, totally tense. Figurski, Jammer, Cally, Seelix. Apollo starts to panic when she doesn't answer: "Starbuck, Starbuck, where are you? Starbuck, come in. Starbuck, do you read?" Dee reports no DRADIS contact. Everybody is really worried now, Adama, Dee, Gaeta. Lee breaks cover: "Kara, are you okay?" You can see it in his face that he's so afraid she's gone. And then: out of nowhere a black dot appears, and Kara turns on her lights. She smiles like an imp: "Of course you lost contact. It's a damn stealth ship, remember?" She is gleeful; Lee is about to kill her, or have a hernia, but he still can't help smiling. They're all laughing for real now, none of this oxygen deprived madness. This is earned joy. Everyone in the hangar starts to clap, and then cheer. Chief's face is especially grateful; he did this. They're so happy. And outside in the black, Lee's Viper and Kara in the Blackbird float nose to nose, like they're kissing. Will these two never stop having sex?
Back in the hangar, the crew are called to attention when the Commander enters the deck. He walks in with Roslin and puts them at ease. She shakes the Chief's hand: "This is the Blackbird?" Chief: "Yes, Ma'am. Madam President, this is an honor." She protests, "No, the honor is mine. It's remarkable." Chief tries to be modest, but you can see he's just really pleased. All those who worked on the Blackbird sign it proudly in silver pen as Roslin speaks: "Oh, you're much too modest. After what we've been through, it would be very easy to give up, to lose hope. But not here. Not today. This is more than a ship, Chief. This is an act of faith. It is proof that despite all we've lost, we keep trying. And we will get through this, all of us, together. I promise." Chief bends down and picks up a bottle of champagne hidden under the Blackbird, handing it to Adama. He then turns to Roslin, all cute and nervous and clearing his throat: "Uh, Madam President. This was supposed to be a surprise, but, well--" He pulls a black cloth off of the nose of the Blackbird, revealing underneath, in flowing script, the name "Laura." She is overcome for the second time this episode, but for vastly different reasons. Once again, Mary McDonnell nails it, portraying Roslin's struggle to find words to express her gratitude, and her eventual simple "Thank You." It's just fucking awesome, and damn it all to Hell, I'm fucking crying. Excuse me for a moment.
Adama hands her the champagne: "If you'll do us the honor, Madam President." She puts on her glasses and says, "Of course." She pretends to study the bottle for a second, and then does this obscenely cute thing where she acts like she's going to smash the bottle against the ship. Simultaneously everyone in the room has a coronory, especially Tigh ("The alcohol!!!"), but she just turns and says, "Kidding." The cork pops off, and everyone claps; Chief takes the first sip. Racetrack approaches Helo: "Hell of an idea using carbon composites." She shakes his hand. Oh, Racetrack you are so lame, but Helo's happy so I am too. Then it's Duck's turn, and Seelix's. Helo's totally in. Meanwhile, off in the corner Adama approaches Roslin trying to compose herself. "That was lovely," she tells him. "They wanted to do this for you," he says, not saying what they're both thinking. She thanks him, and moves on, which is her way. "None of this would have been possible if you wouldn't have trusted the Cylon." She finally looks at him. Adama: "I took your advice; met on common ground." "What was that?" she asks. Adama pauses: "We both wanted to live."
Now, as Chief's making his way to Sharon's cell, the perfect ending place for this episode, let's take a minute to listen to Jacob and what he has to say about Chief and his Blackbird:
"Can I take a sec here? Because that's awesome. You've got this show about man vs. machine, and they're both using machines in the conflict, right, but then you've got a man in love with a machine, mourning that relationship using this fourth machine, and then attempting to remedy the non-machine void that the romance has left in him by building a fifth machine. Which itself becomes a symbol of the future of the fleet, not to mention a tribute to a completely unrelated person. During all of which, the big machine they all live in becomes a traitor, and they can only be saved by the original bad guy machine, who's now a POW -- and having a human-machine baby. That's structure on a level I might actually need a machine to help me understand."
All of which goes to say that this show makes me want to jump off a building because I'm so happy. If that doesn't make sense to you, then I'm sorry for you. But Chief has reached the cell. Sharon gets up when she sees him. He just looks at her for a little bit, and they are separated by so much more than just a barred window. She picks up the phone, and after a tortured pause, he follows suit. He's gonna put it all behind him, and we're not allowed to hear what they say. It's behind us now, too.
*BSG has not one, but two, opening credit sequences, and so much happens even in the teaser, that the second credits don't even come until ten minutes in! And more happens in that ten minutes than in entire episodes of some shows! Because this show is that awesome!
**Also, NBC are assholes because they won't let anybody put the credits on Youtube. So you'll have to make do with this two minute long shot of my room, set to the themesong of BSG, and just pretend that it's really cool and creepy. I apologize deeply.