Mom Again....

[narniarose]

As I've posted before, I rarely see or talk to my mom.  I sent an email to all my family (including her) with the information about how we are all doing that I posted earlier.  This is what she sent back:

"I am so happy the boys are doing well. Why didn't Tiffany finish high school? I thought she was going into the Army? I'm sure she will be OK on

Comments

[duchesspadr]

That was a great response to send her. My mom and I are close, but sometimes I have to be her therapist, and that's uncomfortable.

Glad to hear Tiffany is going better. Perhaps in a while she can consider doing a GED.

[splagxna]

good for you. i'm so impressed that you have the courage to even get into this stuff w/your mom.

me, i will be doing everything i can at xmas to make sure she does not find out about my drugs.

[narniarose]

Thanks - but I wish I could be more courageous about my FEELINGS. I just don't trust her with those at all. She sent me back an email later that basically said it's good that we are not all involved in each other's lives (WTF? We're family, aren't we?), but I just don't agree. She's my mother - and while I don't want her enmeshed in my life, I would at least like to know who she is and have her know me, you know?

[splagxna]

ok, first comment: no buts! don't dismiss the 'congratulations, you are impressive' part so fast - be proud of yourself, and stay in that moment for a bit!

second - think about how much of that is your fault. you don't trust her with your feelings; is that because you have always held back or because she has given you evidence that she cannot be trusted to respond appropriately & honor those feelings?

(ps - lunch friday, or today? whenever flex day is? my treat!)

[narniarose]

Thanks for the reminder - good point. I still have such a hard time accepting affirmation. And yes, it's true that I don't share my feelings because she was very emotionally abusive when I was a child. I think I'm going to think about this a bit and maybe compose a response that is honest about my desires. I think I could do that.

Lunch - I'd love to but I don't have flex today or tomorrow. I sent you an email about maybe Saturday morning brunch or Saturday lunch? I would really love to see you and catch up!

[the_new_perfect]

That was an extremely meaured response.

Here's a mom hug for you, with no judgement about antidepressants, Obama, or your parenting/kids. ::squeeze::

[narniarose]

You always say just the right thing! And thanks for the hugs.

[fiberferret]

HUG! Good response.

[broderesse]

Oh good gosh! Depression is an illness that must be treated in order for it to be managed. Your answer was well framed. Yay for strong women!

[narniarose]

Thank you! My mom really saddens me. She spends ALL of her time with her backward, barely educated redneck husband. She has no social outlets, doesn't spend time with family, and rarely sees her kids (only when she feels obligated). I don't get her and I guess I never will. I'm just grateful that I'm not like that, even though she raised me. If she is happy like that, so be it. But I find it hard to believe that her life is truly fulfilled.