Dear Paris,


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I always see these religious people walking around campus offering students all kinds of brochures that talk about Christianity and crap. Today, one of those bible freaks actually walked up to me and offered me a free DVD about evolution vs creationism, but I politely declined by shaking my head and blowing smoke in his face. It was about a minute ( Read more... )

Introducing the world's biggest douche:


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This guy here - whoever he is - this guy sure has balls:

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Of all the days I decide to go to work drunk, the power goes out everywhere on campus. The library, the dorms, the dining commons where I work - no electricity. Maybe an eagle flew into some wires, but I can't help but think that somehow this is all my fault.

I know college is supposed to be a place where you try new shit like smoke weed and protest babies, but when you become so liberal you actually refuse to wear shoes, I think that's taking it a little too far. I only bring this up because I always see these two hippies walking around campus completely barefoot. What are they trying to prove? That ( Read more... )

Some girl from work was trying to get my attention earlier today because she needed help with something. At first I didn't hear her, then I thought she said "Hey you." So I turned around expecting her to tell me something - which she did - but I soon realized she wasn't saying "Hey you" - she was actually calling me "Hey, Woo." Woo is the name of ( Read more... )

I can finally scratch this off my list of shit to see before I die:


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It was so windy the other day I actually saw a tree fall over. Weird thing was I didn't hear anything when it happened. Maybe I was too far away, or maybe the fact that I was listening to my iPod at the time rendered me deaf just for that moment- either way, now we all know that just because a tree falls over and someone is there to see it doesn't ( Read more... )

So it seems the Germans are training their army to kill by putting soldiers in simulated gunbattles and telling them shit like: "You are in the Bronx. A black van is stopping in front of you. Three African-Americans are getting out and they are insulting your mother in the worst ways... Act ( Read more... )