Theme 1 - Mourning / [Unspoken]
Title: Unspoken
Author: helike
Rating: PGish/PG-13 (if using one "bad" word makes it PG-13>.>)
Pairing: None
Genres: General with bits of humour and angst
Warnings/ any squicks: None
Word count: 1740
Summary: There are questions that have to be asked and answers that should be given. There are things that Shisui wants to know and things that Itachi can't say.
A/N: We know almost nothing about Shisui, so his personality and behaviour are my own creation.
Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.
I'm sitting on the floor, surrounded by my equipment, and doing what every shinobi should do every few days and, obligatory, after every mission unless said shinobi wants to die. For over one hour I've been sharpening my weaponry, oiling it when necessary and polishing it.
And for all this time Itachi has been occupying the windowsill and watching me or the street below, depending on what seems to be more interesting at the moment. That's right - he's just sitting there, leaning against the frame, and - no matter how impossible it might sound - he's said a few words only since he came to visit me about one hour ago. Do you find it strange? I don't, but after all I know him well.
In fact, you shouldn't be surprised. Uchihas don't talk much by nature... unless said Uchiha is Inabi, who does talk a lot and most of what he says makes little sense, but he's an exception. Usually we say a few words only and some of us even seem to believe that hn-ing people and glaring at them will do the rest.
Assuming, we don't talk much, but even in this comparison Itachi is just... special. Definitely - "special" would be a good word here. He's quiet and he's always been like that. He never says more than a few words unless he's greatly interested in the subject or simply irked by something, but at least he doesn't glare at anyone.
Taking into consideration this characteristic trait of us all, it is quite possible that we could sit like that, not talking to each other, for hours - and I assure you that it wouldn't bother us much - but Itachi decides to break the silence.
"Would you cry if I died, Shisui?" he asks all of sudden.
I'm so focused on polishing one of my kunai that it takes me a while to realize what he's really asking about.
Would I... WHAT?! Ouch!
I'm taken by surprise and, obviously, the kunai has to slip and cut my hand. Way to go for you, Shisui. Way to go.
"Oh... Crap..." I curse under my breath, feeling like an idiot, as I haven't cut myself like that for ages and well... I was a child last time it happened. "What kind of a question was that?!" I glare at the "cause" of my little accident.
"Just a question," Itachi, obviously immune to my glares, shrugs and moves his eyes to the street. "You haven't answered."
"Geeez..." I wince and try to stop the bleeding before I stain something, as it definitely would not please my mother, if she had to clean it. "Of course I would, you're like my brother, remember? But now excuse me, but I have something to deal with."
I'm still looking around trying to find something that I could use as a temporary dressing when Itachi kneels down by my side and takes my hand. He quickly cleans the wound and starts to bandage it. I only blink seeing what my cousin is doing. Incredible... Does this kid carry the first-aid set everywhere with him?
"There is no need to cut oneself because of such a question," he says, still focused on bandaging. "If you really want to kill yourself, choose some less bloody way."
"In that case I'll drown myself, thank you," I blurt out and scowl at him and... almost immediately I regret the words, because Itachi stiffens after hearing them.
It's then that I finally realize how much Itachi has changed. The boy I remember would smirk while teasing me about my having cut myself and he definitely wouldn't react in such a way to the stupid joke I've just made. He would call me an idiot instead or give me one of these looks that say more than words. Definitely, Itachi has changed, but you know what's worse? The change didn't happen days or weeks ago, but months rather and I failed to notice it. What a big brother I am, I wonder.
I keep watching Itachi while he, after finishing bandaging my hand, collects my weapons and puts them all in a neat pile. He's taller - not a surprise here - and he seems to be... more mature. Yes, mature is a good word. Then I discover a few other things.
Now it's not so difficult to notice that he's tired. Or maybe even exhausted. His skin is paler than usual and there are dark shadows under his eyes. If you were to ask me, I'd tell you that he looks like someone who hasn't slept much for last few days and maybe it's not so far from the truth. Since he became a chuunin, he's been sent on one mission after another, and now there is this ANBU stuff - it's been three weeks already since Itachi joined them. Easy life, isn't it? Let me be sarcastic for a while.
"Thanks for that," I raise my neatly bandaged hand. "And sorry for the joke."
Itachi waves, but he says no word, and continues his little "let's tidy it up a bit" mission. I don't oppose and let him do what he wants. I lean against my bed and keep observing Itachi, still thinking about the things I've just realized.
"Say, Itachi... Did anything happen?" I ask after a short while and glance at my cousin, checking his reaction.
Itachi actually freezes and slowly turns in my direction.
"No, nothing happened," he answers after a while.
The way he says the words is casual, but Itachi has never been good at lying and even now I can see that he's hiding something as he averts his eyes from my face while speaking. I ponder on it for a while. Itachi doesn't like lying, so whatever it is, whatever that thing he hides might be, it's something he's not allowed to talk about. And that can mean one thing only.
"It's ANBU, isn't? Something has happened there," I whisper.
Itachi doesn't answer, but there is something about the way he stands in front of me, about the way in which he hangs his head, that makes him look like a boy. I mean... he is a boy, he'll turn eleven soon, but he's never looked like that before. This reaction confirms my suspicions.
"Are these missions really that... bad?" I ask him finally, although maybe I shouldn't. Talking about all that ANBU related stuff now, when it's obvious that there is something that he can't forget about, is like torturing him even more.
Itachi gives me a look - it's one of these few things about Itachi that hasn't changed and never will; I could bet about it - and only stands there gazing at me for some time before he finally answers.
"They're... different," he whispers, his voice flat and tired. He turns away, but I catch a glimpse of his face and can see how for a short moment that mask of his falls apart, partially revealing what Itachi couldn't say.
Only once I've seen such a look on somebody's face. A few years ago, just after the war broke out, I met one man. I don't really know what had happened to him, and I'm not sure if I really want to know it, as the man looked as if he had died in some way. Back then I though that the man must have seen something that no one should ever see - hell on earth - and maybe my guess wasn't that far away from the truth.
Now my own cousin is looking at me in exactly the same way and there is only one word I could use to describe what I see in his eyes. It's darkness.
"Different, huh? What a nice euphemism you found, Itachi," I think while rubbing my forehead.
For a short while I feel anger, although I'm not sure with whom I should be angry in fact. With the village for making Itachi ANBU at the age of ten even though people twice as old as Itachi happen to snap because of this job? With my own clan for pushing Itachi harder and further with every day? Or with myself for seeing it all and doing nothing just because I'm not strong enough to react? It's a dead end. A real dead end here.
Once again we're sitting in silence, but that strange mood created by Itachi's question is affecting me as well.
"Listen, Itachi..." I finally decide to speak, but stop after a short while.
Itachi doesn't look at me, but focuses his attention on something he can see through the window. There is something about his pose, though, something in the way in which his head is slightly tilted - as if he tried to look at me over his shoulder - that makes it obvious that he's waiting for me to finish the sentence.
"If something happened..." I clear my throat trying to say what I want to say, but the words don't come.
"If anything happened to me," I make another try and this time it all goes better, "if I died..."
I shudder after saying it, as there is something ominous about these words.
"Obviously it's not that that I plan to die anytime soon," I add quickly and it feels as if was trying to convince myself, not Itachi, that it won't happen. "But if I did... Would you mourn me? Would you... cry over me?"
Itachi stiffens and his hand clutches on the windowsill. He says no word and for a while I think that he'll just ignore the question.
"Shinobis never cry," finally the answer comes.
Don't blame for feeling hurt after hearing that. Even if it's the rule we are to follow, even if Itachi is the clan heir and he is not allowed to cry in any situation, these words... sting. Is it so bad to expect that somebody will actually feel sad when you're dead, no matter if you're a shinobi or not? Shinobis also are humans after all.
"But..." to my great surprise Itachi continues the thought after a short while. "I'd find a way to do it... I'd mourn you in my own way."
I shake my head and smile when I hear the words. Well... that's Itachi for you - in the end his answers not always are what you'd expect them to be and sometimes you can't even understand them.
Itachi always does everything in his own way.
Author: helike
Rating: PGish/PG-13 (if using one "bad" word makes it PG-13>.>)
Pairing: None
Genres: General with bits of humour and angst
Warnings/ any squicks: None
Word count: 1740
Summary: There are questions that have to be asked and answers that should be given. There are things that Shisui wants to know and things that Itachi can't say.
A/N: We know almost nothing about Shisui, so his personality and behaviour are my own creation.
Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.
I'm sitting on the floor, surrounded by my equipment, and doing what every shinobi should do every few days and, obligatory, after every mission unless said shinobi wants to die. For over one hour I've been sharpening my weaponry, oiling it when necessary and polishing it.
And for all this time Itachi has been occupying the windowsill and watching me or the street below, depending on what seems to be more interesting at the moment. That's right - he's just sitting there, leaning against the frame, and - no matter how impossible it might sound - he's said a few words only since he came to visit me about one hour ago. Do you find it strange? I don't, but after all I know him well.
In fact, you shouldn't be surprised. Uchihas don't talk much by nature... unless said Uchiha is Inabi, who does talk a lot and most of what he says makes little sense, but he's an exception. Usually we say a few words only and some of us even seem to believe that hn-ing people and glaring at them will do the rest.
Assuming, we don't talk much, but even in this comparison Itachi is just... special. Definitely - "special" would be a good word here. He's quiet and he's always been like that. He never says more than a few words unless he's greatly interested in the subject or simply irked by something, but at least he doesn't glare at anyone.
Taking into consideration this characteristic trait of us all, it is quite possible that we could sit like that, not talking to each other, for hours - and I assure you that it wouldn't bother us much - but Itachi decides to break the silence.
"Would you cry if I died, Shisui?" he asks all of sudden.
I'm so focused on polishing one of my kunai that it takes me a while to realize what he's really asking about.
Would I... WHAT?! Ouch!
I'm taken by surprise and, obviously, the kunai has to slip and cut my hand. Way to go for you, Shisui. Way to go.
"Oh... Crap..." I curse under my breath, feeling like an idiot, as I haven't cut myself like that for ages and well... I was a child last time it happened. "What kind of a question was that?!" I glare at the "cause" of my little accident.
"Just a question," Itachi, obviously immune to my glares, shrugs and moves his eyes to the street. "You haven't answered."
"Geeez..." I wince and try to stop the bleeding before I stain something, as it definitely would not please my mother, if she had to clean it. "Of course I would, you're like my brother, remember? But now excuse me, but I have something to deal with."
I'm still looking around trying to find something that I could use as a temporary dressing when Itachi kneels down by my side and takes my hand. He quickly cleans the wound and starts to bandage it. I only blink seeing what my cousin is doing. Incredible... Does this kid carry the first-aid set everywhere with him?
"There is no need to cut oneself because of such a question," he says, still focused on bandaging. "If you really want to kill yourself, choose some less bloody way."
"In that case I'll drown myself, thank you," I blurt out and scowl at him and... almost immediately I regret the words, because Itachi stiffens after hearing them.
It's then that I finally realize how much Itachi has changed. The boy I remember would smirk while teasing me about my having cut myself and he definitely wouldn't react in such a way to the stupid joke I've just made. He would call me an idiot instead or give me one of these looks that say more than words. Definitely, Itachi has changed, but you know what's worse? The change didn't happen days or weeks ago, but months rather and I failed to notice it. What a big brother I am, I wonder.
I keep watching Itachi while he, after finishing bandaging my hand, collects my weapons and puts them all in a neat pile. He's taller - not a surprise here - and he seems to be... more mature. Yes, mature is a good word. Then I discover a few other things.
Now it's not so difficult to notice that he's tired. Or maybe even exhausted. His skin is paler than usual and there are dark shadows under his eyes. If you were to ask me, I'd tell you that he looks like someone who hasn't slept much for last few days and maybe it's not so far from the truth. Since he became a chuunin, he's been sent on one mission after another, and now there is this ANBU stuff - it's been three weeks already since Itachi joined them. Easy life, isn't it? Let me be sarcastic for a while.
"Thanks for that," I raise my neatly bandaged hand. "And sorry for the joke."
Itachi waves, but he says no word, and continues his little "let's tidy it up a bit" mission. I don't oppose and let him do what he wants. I lean against my bed and keep observing Itachi, still thinking about the things I've just realized.
"Say, Itachi... Did anything happen?" I ask after a short while and glance at my cousin, checking his reaction.
Itachi actually freezes and slowly turns in my direction.
"No, nothing happened," he answers after a while.
The way he says the words is casual, but Itachi has never been good at lying and even now I can see that he's hiding something as he averts his eyes from my face while speaking. I ponder on it for a while. Itachi doesn't like lying, so whatever it is, whatever that thing he hides might be, it's something he's not allowed to talk about. And that can mean one thing only.
"It's ANBU, isn't? Something has happened there," I whisper.
Itachi doesn't answer, but there is something about the way he stands in front of me, about the way in which he hangs his head, that makes him look like a boy. I mean... he is a boy, he'll turn eleven soon, but he's never looked like that before. This reaction confirms my suspicions.
"Are these missions really that... bad?" I ask him finally, although maybe I shouldn't. Talking about all that ANBU related stuff now, when it's obvious that there is something that he can't forget about, is like torturing him even more.
Itachi gives me a look - it's one of these few things about Itachi that hasn't changed and never will; I could bet about it - and only stands there gazing at me for some time before he finally answers.
"They're... different," he whispers, his voice flat and tired. He turns away, but I catch a glimpse of his face and can see how for a short moment that mask of his falls apart, partially revealing what Itachi couldn't say.
Only once I've seen such a look on somebody's face. A few years ago, just after the war broke out, I met one man. I don't really know what had happened to him, and I'm not sure if I really want to know it, as the man looked as if he had died in some way. Back then I though that the man must have seen something that no one should ever see - hell on earth - and maybe my guess wasn't that far away from the truth.
Now my own cousin is looking at me in exactly the same way and there is only one word I could use to describe what I see in his eyes. It's darkness.
"Different, huh? What a nice euphemism you found, Itachi," I think while rubbing my forehead.
For a short while I feel anger, although I'm not sure with whom I should be angry in fact. With the village for making Itachi ANBU at the age of ten even though people twice as old as Itachi happen to snap because of this job? With my own clan for pushing Itachi harder and further with every day? Or with myself for seeing it all and doing nothing just because I'm not strong enough to react? It's a dead end. A real dead end here.
Once again we're sitting in silence, but that strange mood created by Itachi's question is affecting me as well.
"Listen, Itachi..." I finally decide to speak, but stop after a short while.
Itachi doesn't look at me, but focuses his attention on something he can see through the window. There is something about his pose, though, something in the way in which his head is slightly tilted - as if he tried to look at me over his shoulder - that makes it obvious that he's waiting for me to finish the sentence.
"If something happened..." I clear my throat trying to say what I want to say, but the words don't come.
"If anything happened to me," I make another try and this time it all goes better, "if I died..."
I shudder after saying it, as there is something ominous about these words.
"Obviously it's not that that I plan to die anytime soon," I add quickly and it feels as if was trying to convince myself, not Itachi, that it won't happen. "But if I did... Would you mourn me? Would you... cry over me?"
Itachi stiffens and his hand clutches on the windowsill. He says no word and for a while I think that he'll just ignore the question.
"Shinobis never cry," finally the answer comes.
Don't blame for feeling hurt after hearing that. Even if it's the rule we are to follow, even if Itachi is the clan heir and he is not allowed to cry in any situation, these words... sting. Is it so bad to expect that somebody will actually feel sad when you're dead, no matter if you're a shinobi or not? Shinobis also are humans after all.
"But..." to my great surprise Itachi continues the thought after a short while. "I'd find a way to do it... I'd mourn you in my own way."
I shake my head and smile when I hear the words. Well... that's Itachi for you - in the end his answers not always are what you'd expect them to be and sometimes you can't even understand them.
Itachi always does everything in his own way.