Fanfiction: Rain absolves our sins
Title: Rain absolves our sins
Pairing: Jenny/Nate
Rating: Teen/Adult - There is sex, but it is not described in heavy details..
Author: Madi-Emma
Spoilers: None
Summary: One-shot. What would happen if Jenny went somewhere really dark and who would be the only one who could reach out to her.
Status: Finished
Jenny felt like her soul was broken. Nothing was going the way she had planned, everything was falling apart. The only person that had supported her had been Nate, and even he had left her without so much as a goodbye. How could she have opened up to him, trusted him so much, and he hadn't even cared enough to let her know he was leaving. She had been falling for him for a long time and these past few weeks with him had been more than she had ever dreamed, and yet it all came down to this. Nothing. It felt as though she couldn't enjoy a single thing anymore.
She hadn't seen him since he had left, or heard from him. No one was really talking to her, her friendship with Agnes had come to a huge betrayal that had ended things rather abruptly. She had absolutely no one to turn to and she didn't even want anyone to bother anyway. She was fine alone, she really was. Except she knew she had to find somewhere to go, she couldn't keep going to different shelters every night, trying to work on her designs next to a window, using the city as her only lights. She felt so tired, so cold. She sat on a bench in Central Park, waiting for inspiration to struck, watching the people cluelessly living their daily lives not caring about her, not knowing who she was, how important she could one day be.
It was already dark, almost as dark as she was feeling inside but it didn't bother her. She welcomed the intimacy of the darkness surrounding her, allowing her to spy on the world as if she were an invisible being, free of the regular constraints of life. She felt like any second now, she would be flying mindlessly over the city, enjoying all the pretty lights from above and barely hearing the incessant noise of New York. She wanted so much to be free. She yearned for a life very different from her own. A life where she would not need anyone's approval, love or money.
She yearned for Nate too. Even though she did not want to admit it to herself, admit that she needed him. He had confused her so badly, made her feel so strongly. His kisses were like treacherous flames licking at her lips, burning her all the way to her core. She felt dizzy remembering his hands on her and how he had held her so tight, as though he would never let her go. She had finally felt beautiful, inside and out. His touches had been maddening, soft an instant like a sweet caress, turning into a violent need to get closer to her and possess every single part of her body. She shivered at the memories rushing back to her, blinding her with their intensity.
Her eyes watered and she angrily pushed the tears aside, not wanting to suffer anymore. She was looking at her drawings as she saw a pearly droplet of water hit the ink. As she hurried to gather her things and try to leave before it got too bad, the rain started falling heavily on her, and in her hurry, she slipped and fell, all of her drawings flying all around her, falling in the fast accumulating water. She was drenched and she felt cold to the bones. She tried picking up her papers, but just threw them back on the ground in frustration. She curled up on the bench in a ball and let her tears fall, getting lost in the rain descending upon her cheeks. She wanted to stop thinking and just get comfortable. She laughed coldly as she thought that the rain was absolving her of all her sins.
She didn't know how long she had been laying there, but she had stopped feeling the cold. She was in limbo, almost asleep and not quite awake. She could almost feel Nate's hands on her once more and wanted to hold on tight to that peaceful feeling but she was violently pulled back to reality as she heard rapidly approaching footsteps. She wanted to scream, tell whoever it was to leave her alone, to mind their own business, but she didn't have the strength. She tried desperately to move but she felt herself slowly losing consciousness. She welcomed the nice reprieve from reality and let herself fall further. As she finally closed her eyes and swam in oblivion, she thought she vaguely heard her name being called, but she didn't care.
She awoke to the feel of someone carrying her through the Park. She looked up and saw Nate's worried face looking down at her. She tried to protest but nothing would come out. So instead, she tried to get free, fighting with all her might. He finally let her go and let her stand, wobbling. They looked at each other for what seemed like forever. She tried to convey to him all the anger, frustration and hurt she was feeling but all she could see in his eyes was worry. He didn't talk but tried to reach up to her when she lost it. She was hitting him, crying, yelling at him. Nothing that was coming out of her mouth seemed to make any sense and she hated that he was seeing her like that. Nate took it all and let her abuse him without moving. He did not try to stop her and the harder she hit, the less he moved. She felt such deep sorrow as her punches became weaker and weaker until she finally couldn't stand anymore, all the force leaving her. She felt so empty that her knees buckled and she brutally fell on his chest where she cried until her eyes burned. Through it all, he just held her close to his heart, shushing her and gently stroking his fingers in her hair. They were both soaking wet and the heat radiating from his body was lulling her softly.
After what seemed like forever, she looked up at him and was shocked to see the fierce emotions swirling in his stormy eyes. She held her breath not knowing what to say, overwhelmed by the feel of his body resting against hers. Her world exploded as he kissed her with more ardor than ever before. His lips consumed hers with an exquisite brutality. He shoved her against a tree and she inhaled, trying to catch her breath as she grazed her nails against his back relishing in his sighs. His face buried in the side of her neck, he whispered "we have to talk" as he nipped at her ears and the sensitive place on her collarbone. She whimpered and brought his mouth back to hers in urgency, wanting to feel his lips again before reality brought her back down to earth harshly. "Jenny..." She kissed him tenderly one last time and nodded. He moved away from her and grabbed her hand, leading her back towards the city.
They walked in silence to his abandoned house. Jenny could feel a current radiating through her arms, starting where their fingers touched all the way up her arm, leading straight into her erratically beating heart. The rain was still crashing down on them as they made their way up the pavement. Nate led her silently to his bedroom, where he shuffled through a single suitcase, trying to find them something to change in. He handed her a white shirt and a pair of his worn boxers which she grabbed. She hesitated changing in front of him, even though he had already seen her in her underwear, she felt shy this time since so many things had happened between them since then. She turned around and removed her dress and her tights, feeling his gaze caressing her body. Everywhere he looked, she knew without looking because her body tingled just right. She quickly changed into his clothes before the fire that was filling her burnt her to ashes and turned back around. He had also changed in a soft pair of flannel pants and a white shirt and he looked more ravishing than he had ever looked even in his best suit. His eyes were vulnerable, his face an open book, filled with a tempest of emotions.
She sat on the mattress that she guessed he now used as a bed when he stayed here. She watched him pace in front of her, feeling his nerves coursing through his limbs, making his right eye twitch. He drew a big breath and kneeled in front of her. "Didn't you get my letter?" Jenny searched his face for an answer "What letter?" He snorted, frustrated and ran his hands through his hair "The letter Jenny, I left you a letter when I moved out of your loft...when your brother kicked me out" Realization dawned on her. He hadn't left her because he did not want her anymore or by choice, he had left because he had been forced to. "No, I didn't...I moved out too" There was so much to be said, so many misunderstandings. She saw the surprise in his eyes and explained what had happened when her dad had tried to get her arrested for the stunt she had pulled at that Gala, and he filled her in on his disappearance. She asked him what was in the letter, and he told her that it wasn't important " I have you right here now, it doesn't matter anymore, I can show you instead...".
He put his hands on her hips and looked at her questioningly. She whispered hoarsely "yes..." He nudged his way between her legs, put a hand behind her head, the other still resting lightly on her hip and he gently guided her back on the mattress. He slowly lowered his head to hers and barely grazed his lips against hers, leaving her hungry for more and drew back, teasing her. She held on to him for dear life because she was scared. She did not want to get hurt again, she trusted him with her whole being and she had never done that before. She knew everything would change but she was ready, she needed him too much to stop now. Their mouths finally collided in an unending kiss that made everything around them disapear and the only sounds filling their ears were their insistent moans.
She cried as he entered her and he froze "Jenny, are you sure". He searched her eyes for any sign of distress but there was none. She was crying because she felt complete, like a part of her had been missing for so long and she had only now found it. They moved in unison, sweat and tears meeting in a sensual dance. She never wanted this moment to end, but she knew that the delicious inevitable was upon her. When she finally went over the edge with abandon, her eyes widened, she saw him looking at her with such fire, such intensity and admist her cries, she heard him softly whisper in hear ear "I love you Jenny".
The End.