In Case of Awkward, Break Glass?

[omicheese]

Time: Whenever
Question for: All nations
Question: What do you do when you ought to make conversation but have no idea what to say?

Comments

[das_vaterland]

Sometimes it is necessary to communicate information, so you have no choice.

[Casual conversation, what is it. Not something Germany does.]

[omicheese]

That's nice and to the point. But what if they expect you to make smalltalk?

[das_vaterland]

. . . why would you talk unnecessarily?

[omicheese]

A lot of people tend to consider it an important part of polite social interaction.

When in doubt, hit Denmark.

[swirlisthecurl]

Well, a simple 'hello' is a good start. Depending on the situation and the person, ask the person how they're doing or about their interests. People love talking about themselves, and asking shows that you care. To keep the conversation two-sided, perhaps relate their interests to yours.

Though, if the situation is more formal and you need to convey a message, I'd start with introducing myself and explaining who sent me and what I need to tell them. It's a brief but necessary conversation. If it develops into a casual conversation, you can still ask questions like I said before.

Re: When in doubt, hit Denmark.

[omicheese]

That sounds like it would work. Can you always think of questions to ask, or do you ever run out?

Re: When in doubt, hit Denmark.

[swirlisthecurl]

Well, there is a point in any conversation when coming up with questions becomes difficult, but for the most part questions will come naturally with the flow of the conversation. The problem that most people have is overcoming the fear of asking.

Re: When in doubt, hit Denmark.

[omicheese]

That makes a lot of sense. What would you recommend for getting over the fear of asking, then?

[edle_sohn]

Understand that vacuous drivel may be all that's socially required of you, depending on circumstance, and select topics accordingly: the unseasonably cool or warm weather; how you can't believe it's already whichever time of year it happens to be.

Some forethought may also ease the burden. If beverages are a possibility, taking sips between natural breaks in conversation is a perfectly acceptable way to buy time to consider what to say next. If all else fails, discuss the quality of the coffee, or what have you.

You may be surprised how willing many people with whom you find yourself engaged in conversation will be to discussing petty grievances. This is a fairly safe technique to breach the walls of formality in the appropriate contexts, and a sure way for even absolute strangers to relate. The key is to avoid coming across as ungracious or ill-humored.

[omicheese]

These actually seem like very useful tips! Thank you! Did you spend much time thinking this through, or are you naturally good at it?

[edle_sohn]

My pleasure. I'll readily admit making small talk isn't a task I'm naturally inclined to, merely a set of skills I've picked up through observation over several centuries of diplomacy, and more tedious encounters with man and nation alike than I ever care to think about. With practice, it becomes a mindless task.

[omicheese]

Wow. That's an awful lot of conventions and congresses and treaties to sit through. It's a good thing that practice does make perfect, or else that would become very difficult to deal with. Do you ever get tired of it?

[sweet_as_bro]

Norway's already given you some excellent advice, but in addition to that I'd say "be yourself". I know that sounds silly, but people sometimes put up a front to try to impress other people. Eventually they get found out and risk not only losing face, but also friends. *grins* Better to avoid that altogether I reckon, and if people don't want to be friends with you when you're being yourself that's their loss not yours.

[omicheese]

That's very sensible advice, but what if "being yourself" does not involve the confidence required to start conversations?