why is it that I have so many issues with just letting go? I am an extremely jealous purpose for exactly that reason. I think alot of this is rooted in my serious lack of home life. I will never ever feel secure withough some sort of connection with some one else. Once I have it....i get protecive because so many thins have been ripped away from me ( Read more... )

please tell me this isnt me ( Read more... )

time keeps ticking along and I keep running the same race. Day in day out I go to the gym and sit on my ass. To be honest If I could work out day in and day out I think it would be actually really awesome. Maybe ill look in to doing sports nutrition or like a personal trainer or something that would be cool. to be honest though I have allways ( Read more... )

so heres the thing. My heart is in florida but my family is in new york. The risk of me moving to florida is far greater than that of new york. But........... I miss florida. I want to drink corona til i pass out in the sand on ft. myers beach. I want to take every second of my life and spend it watching sunsets. I want to say fuck credit and debt ( Read more... )

Im not really sure why but i have the shortest fuse in the world now. I go through these bouts of anger like never before. Im not an angry person but I think thats the problem. I just take everything that makes me upset and put it away somewhere. I think what ever i was puting it in has filled up and now It just comes out. But its not only that. ( Read more... )

went to the doctor today. by doctor i mean shrink...... she gave me happy pills :-) YAY :D i figure with a family like mine thats got a pharmancy worth of scrips I might as well see if there is anything out there for me. I have clinical depression...big suprise but this stuff also helps my ADD and helps you quit smoking... I know what a crazy ( Read more... )

im thinking again. I want comitment. Im tired of running around with out anyone to be with. no way to fix it right now as long as im in such a shifting state. none the less its still really hard. I went to mental health last week and they told me I have severe anxiety issues rooted in my inablity to cope with an insecure enviornment. Doesnt really ( Read more... )

despite every warning from my closest friends. I attempted a relationship that was doomed from the start. sadly I can remember every moment where I was happy and excited over my situation as every day closer it became more and more promising that I could have a wonderfull relationship. But it seems to have slipped through my grasp like grains of ( Read more... )

I am seriously missing something. it seems every day that its forced into my face as well. I allways am at my worst when im alone and it seems that now more than ever I see my friends that have families or are starting them or even have long term relationships and new relationships and I just know that im missing out. Its really pissing me off but ( Read more... )

so it would seem that no matter how hard I try im destined to end up right back were I started. Why is it soo damn hard for me to be happy? I ask the quesion but i allready know the answere. I wear my heart on my sleeve and put my love in all the wrong places. The people that make me most happy are oh so far away. not to mention all my connections ( Read more... )