worst airline ever! Air France
My experience this winter teaches me one thing: before flying with an airline I haven't used before, read the customer reviews on it.
The trip into the states was actually relatively painless, all things considered. Sure, people at the airport didn't really seem to speak English, the flight attendants were also very set on French, most of the literature on the flight was just in French (only a small section at the very end translated the movie info, while all the other articles remained a mystery to me). It was kinda creepy that the movie selection was only French movies, or those that take place in France. The really retarded bits happened in Paris, where they sent us in circles to our gates (take one escalator up, then the sign points to taking it back down to the adjacent gate... I am not kidding). But hey, I got there, even was on time.
On the way back is when the trouble really started.
First off, to make the entire experience especially pleasant, I was coming down with the flu. We were scheduled to take off at 5:50pm on Monday, from Chicago. Our actual take off time? 8:05pm. What did we do in all this time? We taxied around the airport. In the last half an hour of this, the crew figured out that hey, let's put on the entertainment and hand out water, because people got quite unsettled.
So of course this meant that making connecting flights wasn't an option for most of us. I not only missed my flight to Hamburg, but the next one after that too. Now I was standing in the Paris airport (or trying to stand anyway), nose bleeding and running like crazy, with a fever. At the transfer desk they tell me that the next flight to Hamburg is in 4 hours. Well, what choice but to accept. So I ask them if there is any place at all I could lie down, since at this point even sitting up was becoming hard. I got told to lie down in the waiting area outside the gate, and given a food voucher. Right.
Heading to the gate was half a hike. I don't think there is any kind of logic to the damned Paris airport. Even the flight attendants were making jokes about it (those that didn't refuse to speak English - two of the entire staff). The fact that the staff, working in an international airport, don't speak (or refuse to speak!) English did not exactly help things at all. (And when I mean refuse to speak: you'll ask them something, they obviously understand and start answering in French.) Finally I drag myself to the gate, hoping to just rest for a little while before trying to get down some food. Hey, the seats all have separators between them, making it impossible to lie down, even if there wasn't a crowd of people there. So I try again, at the customer service desk, and at another transfer desk. All I fucking wanted was a spot to lie down. No, instead I get told that they could've booked me a hotel when I landed, but now there are only a few more hours till my flight, so it's not worth it. And of course since I'm not member of any of the gold club or frequent flier organizations at this airline, they can't offer me the couches in the lounge either.
Right, so I'm stuck at the goddamn airport, running a high fever, looking like I might keel over at any time, but god forbid that someone actually tries to help me in any way. Are there even any costs associated with just letting me inside one of the lounges?!! Apparently so.
Figuring I might as well try to get something into my stomach, I start searching for some sort of restaurant. Passed several bars and snack places before finally finding some place that looks like it serves food. All the menus of the places I passed? You guessed it, only in French. The restaurant has a waiting line, the hostess taking people to their spots, at her leisure (stopping and casually chatting with her colleagues on her way). I seem to be in luck, she speaks a little English, and even gathers that I have a food voucher thingy. Which means I get the special menu.. and what do my eyes behold? English! A few sentences, but still. Apparently, the voucher must actually be presented before the meal, so you can't just sit down and order off the normal menu (hey, it says so in French on it, but guess what, I don't speak FUCKING French!).
Anyways, I did actually end up making it to Hamburg that day. My luggage? Naturally, it didn't.
Every airline has their own counter for luggage incidents. Conspicuously, all the other airlines had no people standing in line. They, in fact, looked kinda bored (even though other airlines had flights coming in at this time too). Air France? 5 people in line before me. The nice lady at the counter (hey, she speaks German and English!) tells me that it's been busy all day for her. I also experienced a huge amount of Schadenfreude as one of the other passengers asks her to speak French, and she cannot! Anyway, she tells me they'll immediately call me if they find out something new, gives me a small bag of toiletries and sends me on my way. Talking to one of the other unfortunate passengers, I find out that he flew with this airline 3 times now, and twice they managed to loose his luggage.
Today (Thursday), I receive an angry call from a man with a French accent, complaining I wasn't home this morning, because he was attempting to deliver my lost bag at 10am. Apparently he was ringing my doorbell this morning, but since I was still asleep I didn't hear him. I mean, there is a reason I actually put the phone in my room, since ya know, I was expecting a..call maybe? Hell I'm lucky that I'm home sick, otherwise I would be at work all day.
Crossing my fingers at this point that this will actually be my bag.
Hey, the guy just came, and actually brought my bag. (Interesting that they have enough of an incidence to be able to hire a person that drives around the countryside delivering luggage all day. Normal airlines do this by taxi.) Told me by the way that customer service always says bags are lost, when in fact they are just delayed, because they didn't have enough time to transfer my bags to my next flight. I was there for FOUR FUCKING HOURS!!
Summarizing:
- flight attendants, airport staff only speak French, and even if they speak English, they refuse to respond in it
- most of the literature, signs in the airport, menus of the airport restaurants, etc are not actually translated (it goes to the point of ridiculous - at the Chicago airport, they actually have signs only in French, without any translation or clue why they are there)
- inside, the plane is decorated with the French national colors, movies offered are either French or take place in France
- 6 hour total delay, but no compensation or accommodations (even if you are sick apparently), except for a freakin food voucher
- extremely unfriendly and arrogant customer "service"
- Paris airport is an illogical maze that eats people
- apparently, routine loss and delay of luggage
Moral of the story: don't ever fucking fly Air France.
The trip into the states was actually relatively painless, all things considered. Sure, people at the airport didn't really seem to speak English, the flight attendants were also very set on French, most of the literature on the flight was just in French (only a small section at the very end translated the movie info, while all the other articles remained a mystery to me). It was kinda creepy that the movie selection was only French movies, or those that take place in France. The really retarded bits happened in Paris, where they sent us in circles to our gates (take one escalator up, then the sign points to taking it back down to the adjacent gate... I am not kidding). But hey, I got there, even was on time.
On the way back is when the trouble really started.
First off, to make the entire experience especially pleasant, I was coming down with the flu. We were scheduled to take off at 5:50pm on Monday, from Chicago. Our actual take off time? 8:05pm. What did we do in all this time? We taxied around the airport. In the last half an hour of this, the crew figured out that hey, let's put on the entertainment and hand out water, because people got quite unsettled.
So of course this meant that making connecting flights wasn't an option for most of us. I not only missed my flight to Hamburg, but the next one after that too. Now I was standing in the Paris airport (or trying to stand anyway), nose bleeding and running like crazy, with a fever. At the transfer desk they tell me that the next flight to Hamburg is in 4 hours. Well, what choice but to accept. So I ask them if there is any place at all I could lie down, since at this point even sitting up was becoming hard. I got told to lie down in the waiting area outside the gate, and given a food voucher. Right.
Heading to the gate was half a hike. I don't think there is any kind of logic to the damned Paris airport. Even the flight attendants were making jokes about it (those that didn't refuse to speak English - two of the entire staff). The fact that the staff, working in an international airport, don't speak (or refuse to speak!) English did not exactly help things at all. (And when I mean refuse to speak: you'll ask them something, they obviously understand and start answering in French.) Finally I drag myself to the gate, hoping to just rest for a little while before trying to get down some food. Hey, the seats all have separators between them, making it impossible to lie down, even if there wasn't a crowd of people there. So I try again, at the customer service desk, and at another transfer desk. All I fucking wanted was a spot to lie down. No, instead I get told that they could've booked me a hotel when I landed, but now there are only a few more hours till my flight, so it's not worth it. And of course since I'm not member of any of the gold club or frequent flier organizations at this airline, they can't offer me the couches in the lounge either.
Right, so I'm stuck at the goddamn airport, running a high fever, looking like I might keel over at any time, but god forbid that someone actually tries to help me in any way. Are there even any costs associated with just letting me inside one of the lounges?!! Apparently so.
Figuring I might as well try to get something into my stomach, I start searching for some sort of restaurant. Passed several bars and snack places before finally finding some place that looks like it serves food. All the menus of the places I passed? You guessed it, only in French. The restaurant has a waiting line, the hostess taking people to their spots, at her leisure (stopping and casually chatting with her colleagues on her way). I seem to be in luck, she speaks a little English, and even gathers that I have a food voucher thingy. Which means I get the special menu.. and what do my eyes behold? English! A few sentences, but still. Apparently, the voucher must actually be presented before the meal, so you can't just sit down and order off the normal menu (hey, it says so in French on it, but guess what, I don't speak FUCKING French!).
Anyways, I did actually end up making it to Hamburg that day. My luggage? Naturally, it didn't.
Every airline has their own counter for luggage incidents. Conspicuously, all the other airlines had no people standing in line. They, in fact, looked kinda bored (even though other airlines had flights coming in at this time too). Air France? 5 people in line before me. The nice lady at the counter (hey, she speaks German and English!) tells me that it's been busy all day for her. I also experienced a huge amount of Schadenfreude as one of the other passengers asks her to speak French, and she cannot! Anyway, she tells me they'll immediately call me if they find out something new, gives me a small bag of toiletries and sends me on my way. Talking to one of the other unfortunate passengers, I find out that he flew with this airline 3 times now, and twice they managed to loose his luggage.
Today (Thursday), I receive an angry call from a man with a French accent, complaining I wasn't home this morning, because he was attempting to deliver my lost bag at 10am. Apparently he was ringing my doorbell this morning, but since I was still asleep I didn't hear him. I mean, there is a reason I actually put the phone in my room, since ya know, I was expecting a..call maybe? Hell I'm lucky that I'm home sick, otherwise I would be at work all day.
Crossing my fingers at this point that this will actually be my bag.
Hey, the guy just came, and actually brought my bag. (Interesting that they have enough of an incidence to be able to hire a person that drives around the countryside delivering luggage all day. Normal airlines do this by taxi.) Told me by the way that customer service always says bags are lost, when in fact they are just delayed, because they didn't have enough time to transfer my bags to my next flight. I was there for FOUR FUCKING HOURS!!
Summarizing:
- flight attendants, airport staff only speak French, and even if they speak English, they refuse to respond in it
- most of the literature, signs in the airport, menus of the airport restaurants, etc are not actually translated (it goes to the point of ridiculous - at the Chicago airport, they actually have signs only in French, without any translation or clue why they are there)
- inside, the plane is decorated with the French national colors, movies offered are either French or take place in France
- 6 hour total delay, but no compensation or accommodations (even if you are sick apparently), except for a freakin food voucher
- extremely unfriendly and arrogant customer "service"
- Paris airport is an illogical maze that eats people
- apparently, routine loss and delay of luggage
Moral of the story: don't ever fucking fly Air France.