The next chapter
Well, it seems like it has been forever since I've posted on here. It looks like it's been a year and a half since I really posted anything. While I read LJ everyday, I haven't had the desire, or the need, to post in a long time. I see that changing.
As I've said in my journal before, I tend to use LJ to sort things out. Because of that, you don't see a lot of posts on here with rainbows and teddy bears. While I have happy days, and good times, I don't usually need to get those off my chest. But, for those of you that like to keep tabs on me, I guess I'll start off with a brief recap of the past 16 months in no particular order.
Work - It pays the bills. I'm still working for NCSU (13+ years now). We went through a reorg shortly after my last posting and my former employee that resigned before I could fire her is now my boss. That makes for fun times. I have to admit that it hasn't been as bad as I had feared, but it's less than pleasant. I focus more on servers these days and our migration from Novell e-Directory to Microsoft Active Directory. It keeps me swamped some days and bored silly others. The state and the university are under a budget crunch at the moment, so layoffs are in the future. I think I'm safe, but I worry for other people here. It's a scary time for a lot of folks.
Steven - Steven and I are still together. 2.5 years and counting (upwards, I hope). Life with us is a roller coaster, but it's manageable so far. We mesh well together, we have a lot in common, and I love him. But we both have short fuses, we're both stubborn, and we both hold things in and let them smolder. We have issues we need to work on, but I think we'll manage.
Therapy - Yup, still going. What started out as a 6 month quick fix is now in its 4th year. *sigh*. But I've made progress, I think. I wrote a long letter to my family, expressing my feelings and telling them about the abuse as a kid, the rape as an adult, the rejection I've felt from them and a few other things. I don't know that it's made us any closer, but it got a lot of things off my chest. A few months ago, I wrote another letter to my cousin, the one that abused me as a kid. I had hoped to start up some form of dialog with him and try to resolve some of the issues there, but as of yet, no response. I may post those two letters later. Aside from that, sessions are usually a random assortment of life skills, copping skills, and dealing with the ins and outs of daily life.
Vacation/Trip - Steven and I have managed to do a little traveling over the past 16 months. We went to DC this past weekend for Valentine's Day. We went to San Francisco back in January for my first visit to CA. San Fran was an interesting place, but I didn't get a good feel for it since I was sick 3 out of the 4 days we were there. It was good to see Turner and David again since I've really missed them over the past year. Steven and I went on a cruise to the Bahamas last Fall. It was an ok trip. I didn't care for the cruise line that much and I discovered that the Bahamas don't have a lot of repeat value to them. The first time everything was new and exciting. The second time, it was rather dull and boring. Then there was Bearhunt back in April of 2007. That turned into a nightmare for me when the guy that raped me showed up at the event. I don't think we're going back this year.
Family - Family life has been ok up until now. After writing the letter to my family, things slowly began to improve some. We still aren't close, but there seems to be better communication there. The past couple of months have been rough, however, which is actually what prompted me to start my journal back. More on that in a separate post.
Friends - This has been a touchy subject for me. At times I don't feel like I have any friends. I have a lot of acquaintances, put those aren't the same. I know a lot of people, and I can find someone to chat with online if I like, but I don't really have anyone, other than Steven, that I feel a real connection to. I thought that I had met someone, but that seemed to dissolve into smoke. I don't seem to get along with the most of the gay community, and the rare person I find is usually 8-10 hours away. I need to expand my social interactions, but I'm an introvert and a homebody, so I don't see it happening anytime soon.
Well, I guess that's life in a nutshell at the moment. There will probably be more forthcoming shortly....
As I've said in my journal before, I tend to use LJ to sort things out. Because of that, you don't see a lot of posts on here with rainbows and teddy bears. While I have happy days, and good times, I don't usually need to get those off my chest. But, for those of you that like to keep tabs on me, I guess I'll start off with a brief recap of the past 16 months in no particular order.
Work - It pays the bills. I'm still working for NCSU (13+ years now). We went through a reorg shortly after my last posting and my former employee that resigned before I could fire her is now my boss. That makes for fun times. I have to admit that it hasn't been as bad as I had feared, but it's less than pleasant. I focus more on servers these days and our migration from Novell e-Directory to Microsoft Active Directory. It keeps me swamped some days and bored silly others. The state and the university are under a budget crunch at the moment, so layoffs are in the future. I think I'm safe, but I worry for other people here. It's a scary time for a lot of folks.
Steven - Steven and I are still together. 2.5 years and counting (upwards, I hope). Life with us is a roller coaster, but it's manageable so far. We mesh well together, we have a lot in common, and I love him. But we both have short fuses, we're both stubborn, and we both hold things in and let them smolder. We have issues we need to work on, but I think we'll manage.
Therapy - Yup, still going. What started out as a 6 month quick fix is now in its 4th year. *sigh*. But I've made progress, I think. I wrote a long letter to my family, expressing my feelings and telling them about the abuse as a kid, the rape as an adult, the rejection I've felt from them and a few other things. I don't know that it's made us any closer, but it got a lot of things off my chest. A few months ago, I wrote another letter to my cousin, the one that abused me as a kid. I had hoped to start up some form of dialog with him and try to resolve some of the issues there, but as of yet, no response. I may post those two letters later. Aside from that, sessions are usually a random assortment of life skills, copping skills, and dealing with the ins and outs of daily life.
Vacation/Trip - Steven and I have managed to do a little traveling over the past 16 months. We went to DC this past weekend for Valentine's Day. We went to San Francisco back in January for my first visit to CA. San Fran was an interesting place, but I didn't get a good feel for it since I was sick 3 out of the 4 days we were there. It was good to see Turner and David again since I've really missed them over the past year. Steven and I went on a cruise to the Bahamas last Fall. It was an ok trip. I didn't care for the cruise line that much and I discovered that the Bahamas don't have a lot of repeat value to them. The first time everything was new and exciting. The second time, it was rather dull and boring. Then there was Bearhunt back in April of 2007. That turned into a nightmare for me when the guy that raped me showed up at the event. I don't think we're going back this year.
Family - Family life has been ok up until now. After writing the letter to my family, things slowly began to improve some. We still aren't close, but there seems to be better communication there. The past couple of months have been rough, however, which is actually what prompted me to start my journal back. More on that in a separate post.
Friends - This has been a touchy subject for me. At times I don't feel like I have any friends. I have a lot of acquaintances, put those aren't the same. I know a lot of people, and I can find someone to chat with online if I like, but I don't really have anyone, other than Steven, that I feel a real connection to. I thought that I had met someone, but that seemed to dissolve into smoke. I don't seem to get along with the most of the gay community, and the rare person I find is usually 8-10 hours away. I need to expand my social interactions, but I'm an introvert and a homebody, so I don't see it happening anytime soon.
Well, I guess that's life in a nutshell at the moment. There will probably be more forthcoming shortly....