East Coast Road Trip, Wednesday: Boston
My last har cut had been March of 2011. I had reached the point where I was pretty sure I had ten inches in the back I could lop off. So I had mentioned this to Zora, who also wanted a new haircut, because she had been unhappy with her last one. So, I scheduled us both appointments at Davis Hairdressing, a salon about a mile from my house that I had had a good experience with when I first donated my hair.
I had Billy, one of the few male stylists there; Zora got Cassie. Zora finished before I did, in part because hers was mostly a thinning and layering, whereas I had inches that needed to go, even after lopping off a ten-inch ponytail. Zora allowed that the haircut looked nice; later, I even confirmed that she wasn't just being polite!
A couple of weekends before, lesmisgirl and I had tried out a breakfast place in JP we had never been to, Sorella's. We both loved it, so since Zora liked breakfast foods (and, when she's trying to go low carb, eggs and bacon are much safer than trying to find her slabs of meat for lunch many other places), I decided we'd head there for lunch. I hopped up onto the Green Line to Brookline Village, and then just walked the 1.5 miles from there, rather than going all the way into the city just to try and get to the Orange Line.
I had much the same thing I'd had previously: an omelet and oatmeal chocolate chip pancakes. Zora got just an omelet. (I went with the pizza omelet, because mushroom, mozzarella, and pepperoni can pretty much never go wrong; I was right. Definitely didn't need the side of marinara sauce!) Given how long Zora had gone without a real meal, she seemed pleased with the results.
We had talked about going shopping, but chasing a large meal with immediate fittings seemed like a recipe for feeling horrible about oneself. Instead, I took us over to the Orange Line, and we headed up to Chinatown, where we went into the CVS to procure tissues (because we were both still quite sniffly and had forgotten to pack many) and pork rinds (an impulse buy Zora is always happy to make). From there, I showed Zora my office's observation deck onto the harbor. After that, plus the jaunt back toward Newbury Street, we finally felt ready to face the clothes.
We spent more time buying for me than for her, and nothing she tried on did she like well enough to let me buy. I let her take the lead in picking out clothes for me, in part because my main goal was in finding clothes she'd find pleasing on me, but also because I've simply never had strong clothing inclinations. I like to be comfortable, which often involves short sleeves given my tendency toward overheating. I don't care for bright colors. I don't enjoy feeling constricted, though now that I'm slimming down again, I'm becoming more comfortable with that as long as I'm not trying to walk far.
Zora's tastes tend toward the classy end... no slashed jeans or retro t-shirts for me. Sweater vests, buttoned fitted shirts, a classy fleece... it was all stuff I have a hard time picturing myself picking out if I'd ever headed out by myself, but it was all stuff I felt pretty good in. (Though, by the end, it was getting harder and harder to look in the mirror and not just see the 30 lbs I still want to lose.) Zora liked me in lavender, which was definitely a choice I don't think I'd've ever even tried if left to my own devices... with my eyes, I've just always assumed that purple would clash, rather than bring them out. She also liked a dark orange on me more than I'd've expected.
Watching Zora try on dresses reinforced the surreality I had been feeling... on one hand, the idea seemed almost absurd, but I couldn't deny that it was actually happening
With the first shopping trip complete, we were running later than expected, so we headed straight to Mark's for games. We were four, and opted to play Imperial 2030. I am a fan of Mac's rondel game designs, but this one definitely felt longer than it wanted to be, and I felt like everyone else felt the same way. That was disappointing, mostly because, in hindsight, I would've preferred to introduce Zora to a bunch of different lighter games, instead.
We didn't finish Imperial until 22:30, which made dinner timing on a Wednesday night also problematic. Zora was still short on sleep, so, given the options of late night Chinatown food, a bar that might have bar food, or just getting some sleep, she opted for sleep. In hindsight (I'll be using that phrase a lot), I should have been a bit more forceful about making sure she got fed, but I was still in the early feeling-out-in-person phase, and I've never had an easy time being the more stubborn person with folks that I have a strong affection for and desire to please.
Leaving Mark's, Zora entered a hungry/sleepy mode that was really quiet, and looked pretty unhappy, which made me feel terrible. She fell asleep on the train once we got to it, and I decided we should get out over by Brookline Village, where there's usually a de facto taxi stand. When we got to it, there was one taxi, running, but with no driver, which just added to my frustration. So, instead, we got back on the T at Brookline Village. I was tempted to risk another try for a taxi at Reservoir and Newton Centre, but would've felt *really* stupid if there wasn't one sitting around there, and the idea of standing in the cold for 20 minutes waiting for a taxi made the idea of calling one also undesirable. So, ultimately, I just got us off at Eliot and walked us the three-quarter-miles home, feeling terribly guilty the whole way.
Shopping with Zora felt pretty awesome... actually putting on clothes and having her approve of them is one of those feelings that I almost never get, with responses to my clothes ranging from derision when I'm in my normal t-shirt & jeans mode, to apathy, when I'm a little dressier. Plus, to be fair, I don't care much what most people think about how I look... but when I care, I suppose I care a *lot*.
I was a little less comfortable with how we hadn't found anything for her... money is always so tight for her, and being able to get things for people they want but would never get for themselves is one of the best feelings in the world for me.
Once we got to Mark's, I felt like things started to slide downhill, and they kept sliding all night long. By the end of it, I was in a very dark mood, because I felt like I had been a bad host in a situation where it was really, really important to me to do a good job. The really emo voice in my head wanted to just send Zora ahead on the rest of the trip while I wallowed in guilt and shame at home.