Um. To put it like this -- we have a friend, who has identified as lesbian previously. Then, a few years ago, she said that she felt like a "man caught in a woman's body" and would like, eventually, to have sexual reassignment surgery. But she has also stated several times that once she did have that surgery, she would wish to have a relationship with another man. Which -- bwhuh? (My puzzlement is both practical (the current state of the art surgery can't give a girl a penis that works, so most often FtM transsexuals don't even bother with that, so the, um, physical expression of sex won't be any different if she's with a guy then or NOW, you know? Can't be -- her equipment won't be changing.) and philosophical (if you are attracted to both genders, you are bisexual, not gay. That's one. Two, if you're planning on having a relationship with a man, why not just admit that you like guys? It's not a crime!)
Gender identity and orientation are NOT the same thing, and far too often are confused.
I find members of both genders to be hot (sexually so), yet I tend to more closely identify with heterosexuality. But truth be told, women's sexuality is far more fluid than fixed, which I don't think are a lot of people really get. So there have been a few women I have been very much attracted to.
I know a man who is a FTM transsexual - he loved women before he the transition (and oriented as a lesbian) and he loves them now (and orients as a hetero male). That's the thing - they aren't the same. Feeling like you are a man or woman is not the same as what you are attracted to.
My ham-fisted explanation, continuedanderynOctober 22 2009, 18:31:42 UTC
Mmmmkay. As I understand this person's previous statements, she self-id's as both lesbian and transsexual (FtM). Okay. I get that. That's easy enough to wrap the brain around -- she feels attracted to other women AND also feels that she's in the wrong-gendered body. But what I don't get in this equation is how having trans surgery and/or presenting as male without the surgery would change one's sexuality from female-attraction to male-attraction. I can understand the situation of actually having sexual attraction to both genders, and feeling fluid about it, but this person says very vehemently that she is not currently attracted to males nor ever has been. It puzzles me, then, how she can say she is a gay man in a woman's body if she is not attracted to men, sexually
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Re: My ham-fisted explanation, continuedazboundOctober 22 2009, 19:30:02 UTC
In your opinion, he might not have been, but that's your perception, your reality.
She's young and she's still finding her way. Saying something on a blog where 99% of it can be mininterpreted, regardless of the intent of the poster, is a mistake on the part of the poster. The fact that it was in reference to her sexuality? And Bruce is a parental figure in her life? Come on.
Technology is a wonderful thing, in that we can communicate in the immediate - but it also allows us to say things to someone without getting a sense of how what we are saying is affecting the person we are talking to and adjusting accordingly - which tends to lead to huge miscommunications.
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I tend to respect, and often agree with, your opinions. But I don't even begin to understand this one. Not sure I even want to.
I marched on the US capital against pornography and I'd do it again.
But I don't think you were ranting about porn.
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I find members of both genders to be hot (sexually so), yet I tend to more closely identify with heterosexuality. But truth be told, women's sexuality is far more fluid than fixed, which I don't think are a lot of people really get. So there have been a few women I have been very much attracted to.
I know a man who is a FTM transsexual - he loved women before he the transition (and oriented as a lesbian) and he loves them now (and orients as a hetero male). That's the thing - they aren't the same. Feeling like you are a man or woman is not the same as what you are attracted to.
Reply
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She's young and she's still finding her way. Saying something on a blog where 99% of it can be mininterpreted, regardless of the intent of the poster, is a mistake on the part of the poster. The fact that it was in reference to her sexuality? And Bruce is a parental figure in her life? Come on.
Technology is a wonderful thing, in that we can communicate in the immediate - but it also allows us to say things to someone without getting a sense of how what we are saying is affecting the person we are talking to and adjusting accordingly - which tends to lead to huge miscommunications.
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