--and I'm holding on by letting go of you
In retrospect, he probably should have gone back and told Mihael the instant he found out. Mihael probably would have liked to know. Mihael would have wanted to know.
Instead, he was mad. He was very mad, and he wasn't going to dismiss it so easily. N's stubborn anger lasted longer than it should have--longer than he really had time for, all things considered. A day and a half. Avoiding Mihael, Near, Meile, and everyone else who happened to pass his way. He hadn't slept really--just moved around a lot, found solace in an odd church-like room with stained-glass windows, and thought.
Did he want to go home? Did he really? It seemed so... different, now. Like he shouldn't. Like he was betraying something--though, whether it was a newly-formed part of himself, or people like Mihael who really thought he could be good (and he was good. Kira was good. So, Mihael was right, of course), he wasn't quite sure.
In any case, most of his anger and indignation had burned out by the end of the second day. So, N finds himself at the door of their room again, hoping that Mihael wasn't still mad. He has a tendancy to do that--get mad, that is.
Creaking the door open, he peers inside quietly, biting at his lower lip.