I've fallen between reality and illusion. I'm dealing with high amounts of pain between every breath I take. I've successfully washed the last week down with a fist full of pills and sleep. I have absolutely no idea whats going on anymore. Lost all grasp on rational thought. One month to go. There is still one person I need to see..I don't know if ( Read more... )

Alright, my ass is really sore. No, not from rocking some strapping young buck, but from riding a god damn dirtbike in the snow. A stroke of brilliance of my part. 4 hours of funs. For those four hours I had a great time. It had been a while since I had ridden a fast 2-stroker, not to mention having NEVER ridden a bike in the snow like that. So, ( Read more... )

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I've been working quite a bit lately. Kind of sucks not having a social life but alas, comes with the terrority. I haven't seen one person that I know over this thanksgiving break. I can't fucking wait to leave this place. I just can't make myself be sociable anymore. I don't even care. Someone wants to get a hold of me, they know where to find me ( Read more... )

I hate everything. Sunshine and rainbows. Exhale.

Xtian sent me a profound IM today. I'm not sure if he was relaying a quote, or just offering a piece of truth. In so many words, love being a powerful emotion, but that I prefer the ease and manipulation of hate. The statement struck me. I wish I knew how to truely love another person. I think my own fears and misplaced trust have blinded me. I don ( Read more... )

I'm torn. I can't decide whether to move to florida or kneel down in traffic. Both solve my problem. Convience is the question. My life has completely collapsed. I don't leave my house very often. I just go to work, come home, jam, sleep. Repeat. I fear the outside world might just drive me to the brink of genocide.