The Life You Never Had
Title:The Life You Never Had
Author: needed_beauty
Rating: PG
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin
POV:Arthur
Summary: He sees their life together flash before his eyes, the moments coming back to him like a silent movie.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never gonna be.
Author Notes: Eh, it's sad? Idk why I wrote it.
He feels his throat constrict as he sees Arthur fall, the bullet lodged firmly in his chest, making Merlin cry out in pain instead. He sees nothing but Arthur lying in front of him, the steady buzz of people a bare murmur, the sound of Arthur's body hitting the concrete a resounding scream. Merlin can feel himself begin to shout. His body- trembling, his heart, mind and soul - aching. His vision blurs and he runs to Arthur's side, feeling for a heart beat, a small exhale - any sign of life.
Arthur's body is tugged away from his scrambling hands and suddenly, Merlin's in an ambulance and there are tubes everywhere. Arthur's hands, face, arms are surrounded by life saving pipes. Merlin watches the scene with an odd sense of displacement; something just doesn't fit right. He grasps onto Arthur's limp hand, holding with all his love.
***
He tries - but he can't- doesn't want- to sit in the waiting room. Instead, he paces the hallway of the emergency ward, his eyes fixated on the red-light above the operation theatre door. After too long (or was it too soon? He doesn't even know), the light turns off and the man in white - the doctor- emerges. Merlin can see a heavy burden on the man's face. The doctor goes to open his mouth but Merlin stops him, shaking his head. He knows it, had known since he had found himself in that ambulance, but he can't bear to hear it. Not yet.
He breaks down instead, his limbs crumbling under the heaviness of his heart. Physical pain grips him and suddenly he's in hysterics, trying to get a grip on reality, that just escapes him like wisps of smoke.
Merlin sees their life together flash before his eyes, the moments coming back to him like a silent movie. The first time he met Arthur. His ridiculous smile as they fought over the topic of the week. Arthur’s eyes dancing with hope the first time they kissed. The first time they were together. The defining moment when everything changed- the snow had been gently sprinkling the city white and when Merlin had turned to look at Arthur, he stopped mid-sentence and realized. That right there, Arthur with his floppy hair covered in snow, Arthur with his eyes glittering in the moment, Arthur with his eyelashes covered in miniature icicles, Arthur with his joy and happiness was all he ever needed. This was his world, wrapped up in a less than fashionable black overcoat and looking at him in bemusement.
Arthur. Arthur. Arthur. Arthur.
Merlin walks home alone, not having told anyone of the incident as yet. He lets his mind wander and before long, the cliche rain begins to spray down on him; the gods giving him a chance to drown his sorrow in the water droplets.
He reaches their - his, now - apartment robotic-ally and slips out of his wet clothes and into their - his, damn it - bed. It's a miracle he falls asleep.
***
Merlin wakes up a start, the alarm clock ringing, shrill and annoying, in his ear. He turns over and groans, "Arthur, turn that beastly thing off, it's Saturday!"
The alarm doesn't stop ringing.
"Arthur, what the hell are y-", Merlin stops mid-sentence as his brain catches up with the events of the night before.
His eyes land on the photograph and engagement ring on the table beside him, and Merlin feels himself crumble into pieces all over again.
A half cannot live without that which truly makes it whole.
Author: needed_beauty
Rating: PG
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin
POV:Arthur
Summary: He sees their life together flash before his eyes, the moments coming back to him like a silent movie.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never gonna be.
Author Notes: Eh, it's sad? Idk why I wrote it.
He feels his throat constrict as he sees Arthur fall, the bullet lodged firmly in his chest, making Merlin cry out in pain instead. He sees nothing but Arthur lying in front of him, the steady buzz of people a bare murmur, the sound of Arthur's body hitting the concrete a resounding scream. Merlin can feel himself begin to shout. His body- trembling, his heart, mind and soul - aching. His vision blurs and he runs to Arthur's side, feeling for a heart beat, a small exhale - any sign of life.
Arthur's body is tugged away from his scrambling hands and suddenly, Merlin's in an ambulance and there are tubes everywhere. Arthur's hands, face, arms are surrounded by life saving pipes. Merlin watches the scene with an odd sense of displacement; something just doesn't fit right. He grasps onto Arthur's limp hand, holding with all his love.
***
He tries - but he can't- doesn't want- to sit in the waiting room. Instead, he paces the hallway of the emergency ward, his eyes fixated on the red-light above the operation theatre door. After too long (or was it too soon? He doesn't even know), the light turns off and the man in white - the doctor- emerges. Merlin can see a heavy burden on the man's face. The doctor goes to open his mouth but Merlin stops him, shaking his head. He knows it, had known since he had found himself in that ambulance, but he can't bear to hear it. Not yet.
He breaks down instead, his limbs crumbling under the heaviness of his heart. Physical pain grips him and suddenly he's in hysterics, trying to get a grip on reality, that just escapes him like wisps of smoke.
Merlin sees their life together flash before his eyes, the moments coming back to him like a silent movie. The first time he met Arthur. His ridiculous smile as they fought over the topic of the week. Arthur’s eyes dancing with hope the first time they kissed. The first time they were together. The defining moment when everything changed- the snow had been gently sprinkling the city white and when Merlin had turned to look at Arthur, he stopped mid-sentence and realized. That right there, Arthur with his floppy hair covered in snow, Arthur with his eyes glittering in the moment, Arthur with his eyelashes covered in miniature icicles, Arthur with his joy and happiness was all he ever needed. This was his world, wrapped up in a less than fashionable black overcoat and looking at him in bemusement.
Arthur. Arthur. Arthur. Arthur.
Merlin walks home alone, not having told anyone of the incident as yet. He lets his mind wander and before long, the cliche rain begins to spray down on him; the gods giving him a chance to drown his sorrow in the water droplets.
He reaches their - his, now - apartment robotic-ally and slips out of his wet clothes and into their - his, damn it - bed. It's a miracle he falls asleep.
***
Merlin wakes up a start, the alarm clock ringing, shrill and annoying, in his ear. He turns over and groans, "Arthur, turn that beastly thing off, it's Saturday!"
The alarm doesn't stop ringing.
"Arthur, what the hell are y-", Merlin stops mid-sentence as his brain catches up with the events of the night before.
His eyes land on the photograph and engagement ring on the table beside him, and Merlin feels himself crumble into pieces all over again.
A half cannot live without that which truly makes it whole.