MCA #0: Friday night

[needsaparrot]

Xander sat in the den, books and printouts about vampires, Slayers, time-travel, use of technology with the supernatural spread out around him, laptop in front of him. He hadn't really been getting anywhere, and not just because Willow and Giles were the experts at this kind of thing and he... knew how to use Google and had passed the stage where he got distracted for very long by woodcuts of nymphs. There just didn't seem to be anywhere to get.

Next to his laptop sat his phone. Open to the right number, ready to send, even. Every so often he'd look at it but not pick it up, because what the hell was he supposed to say? And maybe the point was he shouldn't say anything at all.

Instead, he was slumped on the couch, and though his eyelid had slowly drooped shut, he wasn't sleeping. No. He was... processing information. Right.

Funny how processing information involved suddenly being back in his office. The loud thud of a box being slammed down on the desk. Mel standing there, arms crossed. The smell of something dead, and when he opened it up...

When he opened it up, there was blood on the box, but no human heart inside. Just a stuffed green frog.

So why did it make him freeze, like when you dream you're running for your life, but you can't move or scream? Except he did move - he saw himself reaching for it even though he didn't want to, felt his fingertips touch something soft and sticky that wasn't cloth at all.

The slip of paper that fluttered to the desk didn't have Mel's name on it this time. Or her sister's.

[The following will eventually be a table with icons. Someday. That day is not today.]

• Eventually, Bridge's wanderings brought him here. So much for staying away. Peter's suggestion of writing a letter had been a good one, but this was something he had to do in person. He knocks tentatively on the door, mentally rehearsing his apology for the way he'd acted last night.


• Xander jerks awake at the sound, and reaches first for the phone beside him, while he's trying to catch his breath, before he realizes it came from the door.
  
  He stands up, wiping perspiration off his forehead, and takes a moment to decide whether he even wants to answer it. But it could be somebody who needs him, and he's been way too useless in that department today.
  
  He opens the door expecting... he's not sure, but definitely not what he finds.


• And all that mental rehearsing was apparently for nothing, because suddenly Xander's standing there and all Bridge can say is:
  
  "Hey."


• Which... is more than Xander's got. He's just standing there looking, as his heart-rate slows down to something that wouldn't scare nurses. Seeing... what he saw five minutes ago in his sleep.
  
  Seeing Bridge, standing in his doorway.


• "I, um, know I said I couldn't see you again but I lied obviously because I said some really bad and horrible things and I'm sorry..." Bridge babbles to fill the silence.


• Xander takes a breath.
  
  And another.
  
  And something breaks, in between them.
  
  "Shut up."


• "What?"


• He puts his hand out to touch Bridge's face. "Shut up."


• "I-" Bridge starts to say something, but then there's Xander's hand on his cheek and he kinda forgets what he was gonna say, for the second time that night.


• "Shut up. Shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup." And then he's leaning in to take care of that himself, pressing his lips to Bridge's.


• "Mmmph'mkay..." Bridge? Really not arguing with this turn of events. Like, at all.


• It's the first time it's been them, really them, both of them, nothing pushing Xander to do this besides the fact that he wants it and... he still doesn't know if it's right. He just knows that everything that isn't this is wrong.


• And that would be Bridge kicking the door shut behind him. While not letting go of Xander, because there's a tiny part of him that's terrified of the fact that as soon as he lets go, this won't be *real* anymore.


• And that would be Xander pushing him back against it.


• Eventually, Bridge does pull away, slightly. Just long enough to whisper: "I'd like to sleep with you." He leans in and kisses Xander quickly again, before adding, "please."


• Xander drops his face to Bridge's shoulder and whispers "M'sorry." It's actually not a sequitur. That might not be obvious from the words, but the fact that he kisses Bridge's throat after he says it... is probably not all that helpful in dispelling the confusion.


• "For what?"


• "...everything? All this push me-pull-me stuff, and I hurt you, and I left..." Yeah. that's not exactly in chronological order there.


• And now it's Bridge's turn to say "Shut up," and kiss him.


• "I missed you," Xander says intelligently, when he can breathe again. Sort of.


• "Me too," Bridge says. "Missed you. Not me."


• "That's...yeah." Complete sentences are hard when the dominant thought in your brain continues to be OMG I KISS YOU NOW.

[Continued in a not-work-safe direction in a filtered post here.]