5 Word Story!!
I've spent ages copying and pasting everything from the "Five Word Story" on L&BA. This post will be updated as the story goes on..
None of this was changed. This is all just copied and pasted. Unbelievable? Believe it. O.o
THE STORY STARTS HERE..
You would never believe that, in a land far away, there lived a cute young boy, and his biggest dream was to be an actor, so he went to a travelling agency and bought a boat and sailed to a remote acting school where he found a beautiful young gorgeous cow that spoke impeccable English.
And he raised the cow on a diet of pure grapes.
The cow (named Wanda) wanted to see more of Dom's belly button.
So she heavily spiked Dom's drink with lots and lots of Vodka and then she lifted his shirt to get a look at it and was surprised To see his beautiful abs which were hard and nice.
Wanda felt like doing unspeakable things to his Spork Hood So she tied Dom up and got out her special whip.
She cracked it above his extraordinarily long, quite attractive, super arm, but that wasn't enough, she needed to do more to satisfy her urges.
So she covered Dom in grapes and ate them off his hard abs and then she had thought "I am a cow!"
She concocted magical potions that turned her into a beautiful Dingo eating baby.
She quite desired to take Dom for granted but she just couldn't.
So she bought a leash, and a black spiked collar and put them on him around his very kissable neck and led him to a white, unmarked, rickety, old van where she then proceeded to rip his shirt off slowly.
She started dancing around the van, a bad move, because but Wanda kept going anyway the van started to shake, she jumped into the van.
"Oh dear" thought Wanda, "I left my 'Rabbit' in there, he may get 'fallen on".
So she went back inside and she found a huge spider trying to take Dom with her in her web.
So she fought the spider and won. Dom awoke and saw Wanda and then preceded to strip in celebration while rain is pooring down on Doms body, making it look like something from a dodgy beavers teeth on an elephants tail.
Then suddenly Dom grabbed Wanda and decided to dance and grind with her then an evil monkey attacked them and tried to pinch Dom's boxers while Wanda nodded furiously.
They realized the monkey was billy and Dom blushed at Billy's cheekiness and daring.
"look" said Wanda while she gasped and she started to growl deep because Billy and Dom were staring at each other with such passion that it was like they were into each other and they didn't even notice Wanda glared at them fuiously and grabbed dom protectively by his special spots while he wiggled his eyebrows seductively at Billy and Billy then was licking his lips at Dom.
Wanda attepted to kick Billy but Billy grabbed Dom and gave him a big, wet smooch on the lips and proceeded to dance around Dom while he screamed furiously and pulled at his hair.
Then dom broke loose from wanda and attempted to join in but wanda beat him with a lollypop she found in her ear.
Dom screamed and bought a chocolate milkshake, however she was not thirsty, so she karate-chopped Dom and brought him to submission by playfully tickling his extended gouch.
Billy wanted to save Dom so he jumped on top of Wanda.
Billy started to gyrate, Wanda yelled at billy and threw him off her.
Billy cried due to rejection Big tears ran down his face until he saw Dom hand billy a lolilpop.
Wanda decided to leave because Dom told Wanda that she was too mean to billy and that she was in love with Elijah who she thought was serious hot stuff.
Dom cried at his loss of of the beatiful and young goodness that was wanda.
But managed to stop crying and he hugged Billy because he smelt so darn nice.
billy put his hand around Doms waist and then proceeded to proclaim his staunch heterosexuality.
Dom giggled like a girl.
Until Billly laughed at him and wiggled his eyebrows ever so violently until they fell off.
Dom picked them up and handed them to billy, but Billy didn't have any glue so he ate them.
dom looked at Billy with alarm then decided that they must go to Candyland to get at least a million lollypops so they started their journey on the yellow brick road and on the way they met up with an unusual one eyed badger who asked them where they were going.
Dom then replied "We are going to Candyland to find a million lollipops" The badger said, who was jumping up billy's leg, "i must come and find the elusive haggis.
A blush crept over Billy's face as Dom started to laugh uncontrolably, "billy you look exactly like the badger! But don't worry! I still think you are so totally hot!" Billy grinned and jumped on Dom's back and asked for a ride.
the badger jumped on Billy's back saying that it was a magnet, but Dom couldn't carry both of both, so he made Billy getoff and ride his magical Goldfish bowl.
Billy agreed and tried to get on the bowl.
But he got distracted and decided to lick Dom's ears in stead, and while the badger looked on, they started to nibble on each other's fingers.
Dom started to growl.
His eyes were starting to fill with tears.
Billy got worried, and asked if Dom had something in his eyes.
And offered to help him.
But Dom said he was going into labour.
billy was fooled for a second but he suddenly realised Dom was joking then laughed and gave him a slap on the leg.
Billy giggled like a school girl.
Then Dom galloped away into the bushes.
Billy started tearing off his clothes and beating his chest with his hands and then hopped around Dom yelling "whoobah whoobah.." and then dom looked at the badger who was still standing there trying to decide whether he should run away with the badger or let Billy cavort around.
Dom decided that Billy was sexier than a barrel 'o' monkeys but he was in dire need of a new hat, so Liv and Miranda came and dom asked for their advice unfortunately, Liv brought rope to tie to billy's leg, so Dom ate the rope so he morphed into a strange demented version of Tom Hanks.
This made Billy cry because he had always wanted to be tied to Dom but Billy found a magic potion that would transform him into a tiny sexy purple leprechaun with bright green tights.
So he drank it but surprisingly nothing happened, thats when billy suddenly whacked Dom with his sack of potatos which made Dom cry and scream like a sissified tweety bird.
He hopped about squealing.
Then finally hit his head against a huge marshmallow.
Billy laughed "oh how cute."
Billy gleefully realized that he too, was about to crash into a crazed marshmallow monster.
Luckily Dom saved him with his heat vision.
Dom decided that it was time to return to his favor, since Billeh had snogged the badger secretly five minutes ago and was very tired from all the tongue action.
He ran to slap Elijah, but Dom leaped out and snogged him before Billy could lay a paw on him.
elijah's eyes popped outta his head as Dom began to take out his camera-phone and take a photo of his balls that were swelling because he had accidently rubbed some marsmallows against his elbow, it was a very nice sight reckoned billy, but elijah was screaming because he thought the marshmellow was mooing at him.
However, before something else happened tabloids started publishing horrible SEX stories that sold like crazy to rabid chipmunks and fangirls, who only had to buy one before they fell madly in love with the chipmunks, but there was one fangirl named Barbra Waffles who thought Dom was an obnoxious, arrogant little chipmunk with too little hair and not enough fingers, so he used his toes and seduced Barbara Waffles by dipping her in lots of chocolate and rainbow sprinkles when Billy saw that she looked like a rainbow, he tried to show her what a pot of gold felt like.
Barbara swooned, and Billy quickly bit off her right leg.
He spat it out when he discovered that it was not made of waffles but he added maple syup anyway, which made it taste extra bad as meat and syrup is not atikens friendly, so instead he a ate a lump of green stuff which resembled elephant poo.
Surprisingly, Billy was able to swallow it down and asked for more.
Elijah agreed and then proceeded to scrape more off his shoe.
The goop became alive and swallowed Billy whole.
But Dom saved Billy by jumping up and down three times and hitting his head against barbra's chest.
billy fell out the tree called 'Duck-Tree' and discovered that he had magical beans stuck to his right hand and they were talking to him in high-pitched voices.
So he decided to take an asprin to ease the ever-increasing polka-like beat coming from dom's trousers.
smothered him like a fried piece of bacon."AAAAAAGGGGHHHH, DOM THE BADGER IS TRYING TO shove a spoon into Billy's pants!" Dom gasped and scowled at the badger who now was smirking it's head off, even though secretly he thought the badger was rather sexy and it turned him on really, rather incredibly, so he decided to jump him when nobody would be looking.
So Billy grabbed Dom by the collar and led him to a cave, where fat, jolly garden gnome was slowly eating away on his ginger beard.
When he noticed Billy and suddenly ran cowerdingly to a corner in his round cave with dom and billy quickly.
"hey come join us!" called the gnome's ugly wife shouted smothering Dom with her purple lips, hoping to seduce him away from Billy, but Dom pounced on top of a greenish, wobbly table and fell face first into a pile of cow shit.
billy guffawed hopping up and yelling 'BOINK!' The gnome's ugly wife jumped on top of Viggo and and took out a roll which he spread with butter and threw at dom to eat in the corner of his chipmunk room which contained Hannibal Lechter and his shiny mask...thing and Richard Simmons, who tried to lick Dom's ears, but Dom refused to let himself be seduced by a hyper fro-sporting dude.
However, he was able to demask his evil plans of kinkiness which involved several small mice dancing with the chipmunks and chanting 'Heyba dooba dee doo!' By shaving Richard Simmons' hairy testicles, they managed to thwart his plans although everybody died except Dom and Hannibal, who did a hoe-down in leather and sucked on pink lollipops happily laughing at the green speckled sock who was sitting in the sky.
"lookee" said Billy who miraculously came back from the 7/11 with incredible urges for porn and chocolate.
Then...just as it was getting dark Elijah apeared with porn and chocolate yelling "Huzzah!" and hopping around excitedly while singing the bum song.
Dom pounced on him grabbing his ears and lovingly licked his toenail, then grabbed his leg and started to ride in Orlando Bloom's sexy convertable.
When the icecream had melted they licked it off each other and then licked their noses, making sure not to bang their heads together after smoking too much pot, which made them look like furry minions of Lionel Richie that hiccuped when they talked.
'Ha eh ha eh' they laughed, scaring the crap outta the extremly religious lumberjacks who were humping eachother with a piece of paper to keep from making a mess while Karl Urban joins the story.. hopping around with bunny ears and eating small pink grubs that kept wriggling out of pieces of pasta that smelt like rotting pieces of hillbilly.
karl rolled around the ground barking like a dog that had constipation, so dom gave Elmo a fluffy chocolate covered carrot, that was broken because he sat on it and Elijah said "No Elmo don't eat Viggo he tastes like peanut butter cotton candy and will make you feel strange!" Then Dom grabbed Viggo and started pulling out Viggos hair while Viggo shrieked like a Black Rider on heat.
They noticed the flies hanging around viggo's nice arse and dom thought they looked tasty so he pulled out a spoon and started smashing them into a fly-licious paste that smelt like dead cows on a Tuesday morning knitting eachother woolly bandanas.
"hey" said Billy, "Where's my friggn bandana? i want to have a really bad Looking green one" he said sniffing at Dom's shoe.
"Why is your shoe covered in grass? It looks way too friggn green, here put this in your sock drawer" said Billy, handing Dom a fluroscent handkerchief the size of a chipmunk sexing a squirrel badly.
"Why do we friggin always end up with really bad smelling hair?!" Asked Dom scrunching his nose, when suddenly apeared David Wenham from the back of a computer screaming, "Someone, Lex is on the phone, pick it up before she makes me listen to Cher's fart.
"Fine", said billy and swallowed David whole.
He then went off to the toilet but then decided to go to a cafe instead for an ice cream sundae with a nice horny fan girl who went by the name of Tiffani Baby Boo who has pink hair and rather large foot that goes whappa when she blinks her eyes.
she turned on a vacuum to see if she could suck off Viggo's toenails.
Dom saved ten cups of toenails, but was dissapointed when he realised that the fables weren't true.
he walked away dishearted and farted to express his extreme fullon saddnes.
He walked over Billy and gave him the biggest kiss on the lips he'd ever had in his entire boyhood fantasies.
Then a camera dude popped up and started throwing cheese at both of them.
billy screamed like a small child who had seen a ghost.
he grabbed Dom right between the legs.
"FRODO LIVES!!" Billy said randomly.
"Where?!" screamed Dom, wincing as Billy yelled.
"In My Pants!! And he's tickling me!" Dom giggled.
Then Billy jumped on top of a stack of Viggo's new book, and stipped himself into a glass of apple tango.
"OOh it's fizzy!" He felt a slight tingle in his tummy as he slurped a purple monkey dishwaher which made his brain freeze.
"Why must you mock me?" Dom said and wagged his bum seductively at the innocent fangirls hiding in the bushes.
They shrieked uncontrollably as dom started to strip.
He was kind of hairy and bumpy and had bits of chocolate stuck in the back hair but focus was on his big ugly red pimple on his tooth.
Why was it so frign red and big? "Who cares?" said Billy scratching it off with a sharp stick.
They both decided to throw snowballs at photographers following small rabbits into caves outside The Land of Disgruntled Postmen who lick feet.
Dom said "hey, lick my feet!" but the rabbits said they were vegan rabbits and refused to touch anything that may resemble homosexual, inanimate objects but they had hoped that Dom would give them some free ice-cream!!
But the ice-cream already melted and had to content themselves with nibbling at Dom's petite fingers.
Suddenly Frodo jumped out with mashed potatoes in his hair.
"Want some food guys?" he asked pulling out a straw and some tweezers, but Dom gagged and ran away.
Frodo ran after him and pelted him with apples while a cow suddenly came out of a chocolate icecream cone and offered Dom chocolate milk.
but the cow was purple so he did a back flip squashing frodo flat.
he coughed and strolled to Billy who was chucking rocks at the purple cow that turned green with envy when Dom did a more impressive backflip and landed gracefully.
dom gasped in surprise when he saw the cow.
"It's you! It's that cow who challenged me to a lollipop eating contest!"
"yeh so?" replied the cow.
"i beat you" said dom.
"Only by one lollipop" said billy passing out candy to the cow and dom who proceeded to have another lolipop eating contest.
"get ready to lick!" Shouted Billy.
They attacked their lollies, ferociously licking until Dom had finished one.
"Note to self: grape lollipops are the easiest to eat" shouted Dom throwing off his pants.
He ran over to the cow and tried to milk him.
"Yo! Dude! I'm milking a cow!" he shouted but noticed the cow was sleeping.
So he tipped it.
"Huzzah! I am the Lizard of Doom!" Elijah yelled and jumping onto a piano.
Dom told him to play Micheal jackson song.
but he was painting the white keys pink and singing a perky song.
"Elton John is so much fluffier than a teddy bear and much better smelling" he said with a cheeky smile.
Billy picked up the candy and wondered if he could eat it all in once.
He tried but found that it was way too big and nearly choked, but Dom performed emergency CPR.
Which meant it was just another way of saying I LOVE YOU!
Both Dom and Billy liked getting all the attention.
they jumped up and down yelling "Who saw, Who saw!" and throwing chocolate crackles everywhere while putting on their ditzy hooker outfits while Elijah was off pimping them for a date.
They both decided that the easiest way to get some cheese was to steal a disgruntled postman who strangly resembled Alex Trebek's mother who loved to kick garden gnomes that wore more than two kilts.
She thought this was an attempt at going astray from school but it was actually a side step to getting Carson to appear at his Dino costume with no undies allowing his tinker toys to be free and have room for some peices of carrots in a green bowl.
suddenly a big black carrot came and dragged Dom into a vat of chocolate frosting which attempted to eat him.
However the Dolphin Man had other plans and pulled Dom out of his massve lunchbox and covered him in tomato sauce.
"I shall name him MarvinOhhAhhAhhSquee!"
"Help me, I can't get my head out of this sushi bar. I think it's one anyway... It might be a lobster.." called Billy to announce that he'd earned his sergeants badge from the beaver toothed crash dummy affectionatly dubbed fatty smell butt.
This was so gross that all the icecreams melted into chocolate.
Why would they do such a thing to a watermelon?
It's completely inhumane.
Then they decided to join a musical featuring Hugh Jackman and Jackie Chan.
They cleverly titled it Koko's Revenge and was set in and all the clothes came in fancy little plastic packages.
Packages which were made from recycled grass clippings.
Billy was the first to try to eat one.
Which proved that the only way to really eat them was to drink vodka followed by a shot of lemon juice.
They tried standing on tip toe before riding a horse.
But that really wasn't girly enough for Dom.
So he went and put on on a frilly dress and an apron that squeaked indignantly everytime someone came to the barn door.
Dom thought it was hilarious and started jumping up and down on the green moss.
"OUCH YOU STEPPED ON MY FACE!" Billy yelled.
Dom looked down and his shoe was covered with cow dung.
"UGH! i've dirtied up my precious shoe!" he squealed.
Just then billy whipped out a stick and whacked Dom over the head for squealing so loud.
"OW!" squealed dom.
"you hurt me!"
just then Dorothy and Toto came flying out of the sea.
"theres no place like home!"
"Dom's home is Saturn," Billy squeeled.
dom smiled and took a sandwich out of Billy's pocket.
just then billy's belly growled at a passing fangirl.
Dom laughed and pointed at the black trees in the distance.
They were starting to walk towards Dom and Billy.
Dom and Billy glanced at purple and yellow frog that was eating itself.
It looked like it was having trouble gagging and getting kissed Dom.
Then suddenly a Carebear walked by with a picture of the frog.
Dom and Billy
[To Be Continued...]
None of this was changed. This is all just copied and pasted. Unbelievable? Believe it. O.o
THE STORY STARTS HERE..
You would never believe that, in a land far away, there lived a cute young boy, and his biggest dream was to be an actor, so he went to a travelling agency and bought a boat and sailed to a remote acting school where he found a beautiful young gorgeous cow that spoke impeccable English.
And he raised the cow on a diet of pure grapes.
The cow (named Wanda) wanted to see more of Dom's belly button.
So she heavily spiked Dom's drink with lots and lots of Vodka and then she lifted his shirt to get a look at it and was surprised To see his beautiful abs which were hard and nice.
Wanda felt like doing unspeakable things to his Spork Hood So she tied Dom up and got out her special whip.
She cracked it above his extraordinarily long, quite attractive, super arm, but that wasn't enough, she needed to do more to satisfy her urges.
So she covered Dom in grapes and ate them off his hard abs and then she had thought "I am a cow!"
She concocted magical potions that turned her into a beautiful Dingo eating baby.
She quite desired to take Dom for granted but she just couldn't.
So she bought a leash, and a black spiked collar and put them on him around his very kissable neck and led him to a white, unmarked, rickety, old van where she then proceeded to rip his shirt off slowly.
She started dancing around the van, a bad move, because but Wanda kept going anyway the van started to shake, she jumped into the van.
"Oh dear" thought Wanda, "I left my 'Rabbit' in there, he may get 'fallen on".
So she went back inside and she found a huge spider trying to take Dom with her in her web.
So she fought the spider and won. Dom awoke and saw Wanda and then preceded to strip in celebration while rain is pooring down on Doms body, making it look like something from a dodgy beavers teeth on an elephants tail.
Then suddenly Dom grabbed Wanda and decided to dance and grind with her then an evil monkey attacked them and tried to pinch Dom's boxers while Wanda nodded furiously.
They realized the monkey was billy and Dom blushed at Billy's cheekiness and daring.
"look" said Wanda while she gasped and she started to growl deep because Billy and Dom were staring at each other with such passion that it was like they were into each other and they didn't even notice Wanda glared at them fuiously and grabbed dom protectively by his special spots while he wiggled his eyebrows seductively at Billy and Billy then was licking his lips at Dom.
Wanda attepted to kick Billy but Billy grabbed Dom and gave him a big, wet smooch on the lips and proceeded to dance around Dom while he screamed furiously and pulled at his hair.
Then dom broke loose from wanda and attempted to join in but wanda beat him with a lollypop she found in her ear.
Dom screamed and bought a chocolate milkshake, however she was not thirsty, so she karate-chopped Dom and brought him to submission by playfully tickling his extended gouch.
Billy wanted to save Dom so he jumped on top of Wanda.
Billy started to gyrate, Wanda yelled at billy and threw him off her.
Billy cried due to rejection Big tears ran down his face until he saw Dom hand billy a lolilpop.
Wanda decided to leave because Dom told Wanda that she was too mean to billy and that she was in love with Elijah who she thought was serious hot stuff.
Dom cried at his loss of of the beatiful and young goodness that was wanda.
But managed to stop crying and he hugged Billy because he smelt so darn nice.
billy put his hand around Doms waist and then proceeded to proclaim his staunch heterosexuality.
Dom giggled like a girl.
Until Billly laughed at him and wiggled his eyebrows ever so violently until they fell off.
Dom picked them up and handed them to billy, but Billy didn't have any glue so he ate them.
dom looked at Billy with alarm then decided that they must go to Candyland to get at least a million lollypops so they started their journey on the yellow brick road and on the way they met up with an unusual one eyed badger who asked them where they were going.
Dom then replied "We are going to Candyland to find a million lollipops" The badger said, who was jumping up billy's leg, "i must come and find the elusive haggis.
A blush crept over Billy's face as Dom started to laugh uncontrolably, "billy you look exactly like the badger! But don't worry! I still think you are so totally hot!" Billy grinned and jumped on Dom's back and asked for a ride.
the badger jumped on Billy's back saying that it was a magnet, but Dom couldn't carry both of both, so he made Billy getoff and ride his magical Goldfish bowl.
Billy agreed and tried to get on the bowl.
But he got distracted and decided to lick Dom's ears in stead, and while the badger looked on, they started to nibble on each other's fingers.
Dom started to growl.
His eyes were starting to fill with tears.
Billy got worried, and asked if Dom had something in his eyes.
And offered to help him.
But Dom said he was going into labour.
billy was fooled for a second but he suddenly realised Dom was joking then laughed and gave him a slap on the leg.
Billy giggled like a school girl.
Then Dom galloped away into the bushes.
Billy started tearing off his clothes and beating his chest with his hands and then hopped around Dom yelling "whoobah whoobah.." and then dom looked at the badger who was still standing there trying to decide whether he should run away with the badger or let Billy cavort around.
Dom decided that Billy was sexier than a barrel 'o' monkeys but he was in dire need of a new hat, so Liv and Miranda came and dom asked for their advice unfortunately, Liv brought rope to tie to billy's leg, so Dom ate the rope so he morphed into a strange demented version of Tom Hanks.
This made Billy cry because he had always wanted to be tied to Dom but Billy found a magic potion that would transform him into a tiny sexy purple leprechaun with bright green tights.
So he drank it but surprisingly nothing happened, thats when billy suddenly whacked Dom with his sack of potatos which made Dom cry and scream like a sissified tweety bird.
He hopped about squealing.
Then finally hit his head against a huge marshmallow.
Billy laughed "oh how cute."
Billy gleefully realized that he too, was about to crash into a crazed marshmallow monster.
Luckily Dom saved him with his heat vision.
Dom decided that it was time to return to his favor, since Billeh had snogged the badger secretly five minutes ago and was very tired from all the tongue action.
He ran to slap Elijah, but Dom leaped out and snogged him before Billy could lay a paw on him.
elijah's eyes popped outta his head as Dom began to take out his camera-phone and take a photo of his balls that were swelling because he had accidently rubbed some marsmallows against his elbow, it was a very nice sight reckoned billy, but elijah was screaming because he thought the marshmellow was mooing at him.
However, before something else happened tabloids started publishing horrible SEX stories that sold like crazy to rabid chipmunks and fangirls, who only had to buy one before they fell madly in love with the chipmunks, but there was one fangirl named Barbra Waffles who thought Dom was an obnoxious, arrogant little chipmunk with too little hair and not enough fingers, so he used his toes and seduced Barbara Waffles by dipping her in lots of chocolate and rainbow sprinkles when Billy saw that she looked like a rainbow, he tried to show her what a pot of gold felt like.
Barbara swooned, and Billy quickly bit off her right leg.
He spat it out when he discovered that it was not made of waffles but he added maple syup anyway, which made it taste extra bad as meat and syrup is not atikens friendly, so instead he a ate a lump of green stuff which resembled elephant poo.
Surprisingly, Billy was able to swallow it down and asked for more.
Elijah agreed and then proceeded to scrape more off his shoe.
The goop became alive and swallowed Billy whole.
But Dom saved Billy by jumping up and down three times and hitting his head against barbra's chest.
billy fell out the tree called 'Duck-Tree' and discovered that he had magical beans stuck to his right hand and they were talking to him in high-pitched voices.
So he decided to take an asprin to ease the ever-increasing polka-like beat coming from dom's trousers.
smothered him like a fried piece of bacon."AAAAAAGGGGHHHH, DOM THE BADGER IS TRYING TO shove a spoon into Billy's pants!" Dom gasped and scowled at the badger who now was smirking it's head off, even though secretly he thought the badger was rather sexy and it turned him on really, rather incredibly, so he decided to jump him when nobody would be looking.
So Billy grabbed Dom by the collar and led him to a cave, where fat, jolly garden gnome was slowly eating away on his ginger beard.
When he noticed Billy and suddenly ran cowerdingly to a corner in his round cave with dom and billy quickly.
"hey come join us!" called the gnome's ugly wife shouted smothering Dom with her purple lips, hoping to seduce him away from Billy, but Dom pounced on top of a greenish, wobbly table and fell face first into a pile of cow shit.
billy guffawed hopping up and yelling 'BOINK!' The gnome's ugly wife jumped on top of Viggo and and took out a roll which he spread with butter and threw at dom to eat in the corner of his chipmunk room which contained Hannibal Lechter and his shiny mask...thing and Richard Simmons, who tried to lick Dom's ears, but Dom refused to let himself be seduced by a hyper fro-sporting dude.
However, he was able to demask his evil plans of kinkiness which involved several small mice dancing with the chipmunks and chanting 'Heyba dooba dee doo!' By shaving Richard Simmons' hairy testicles, they managed to thwart his plans although everybody died except Dom and Hannibal, who did a hoe-down in leather and sucked on pink lollipops happily laughing at the green speckled sock who was sitting in the sky.
"lookee" said Billy who miraculously came back from the 7/11 with incredible urges for porn and chocolate.
Then...just as it was getting dark Elijah apeared with porn and chocolate yelling "Huzzah!" and hopping around excitedly while singing the bum song.
Dom pounced on him grabbing his ears and lovingly licked his toenail, then grabbed his leg and started to ride in Orlando Bloom's sexy convertable.
When the icecream had melted they licked it off each other and then licked their noses, making sure not to bang their heads together after smoking too much pot, which made them look like furry minions of Lionel Richie that hiccuped when they talked.
'Ha eh ha eh' they laughed, scaring the crap outta the extremly religious lumberjacks who were humping eachother with a piece of paper to keep from making a mess while Karl Urban joins the story.. hopping around with bunny ears and eating small pink grubs that kept wriggling out of pieces of pasta that smelt like rotting pieces of hillbilly.
karl rolled around the ground barking like a dog that had constipation, so dom gave Elmo a fluffy chocolate covered carrot, that was broken because he sat on it and Elijah said "No Elmo don't eat Viggo he tastes like peanut butter cotton candy and will make you feel strange!" Then Dom grabbed Viggo and started pulling out Viggos hair while Viggo shrieked like a Black Rider on heat.
They noticed the flies hanging around viggo's nice arse and dom thought they looked tasty so he pulled out a spoon and started smashing them into a fly-licious paste that smelt like dead cows on a Tuesday morning knitting eachother woolly bandanas.
"hey" said Billy, "Where's my friggn bandana? i want to have a really bad Looking green one" he said sniffing at Dom's shoe.
"Why is your shoe covered in grass? It looks way too friggn green, here put this in your sock drawer" said Billy, handing Dom a fluroscent handkerchief the size of a chipmunk sexing a squirrel badly.
"Why do we friggin always end up with really bad smelling hair?!" Asked Dom scrunching his nose, when suddenly apeared David Wenham from the back of a computer screaming, "Someone, Lex is on the phone, pick it up before she makes me listen to Cher's fart.
"Fine", said billy and swallowed David whole.
He then went off to the toilet but then decided to go to a cafe instead for an ice cream sundae with a nice horny fan girl who went by the name of Tiffani Baby Boo who has pink hair and rather large foot that goes whappa when she blinks her eyes.
she turned on a vacuum to see if she could suck off Viggo's toenails.
Dom saved ten cups of toenails, but was dissapointed when he realised that the fables weren't true.
he walked away dishearted and farted to express his extreme fullon saddnes.
He walked over Billy and gave him the biggest kiss on the lips he'd ever had in his entire boyhood fantasies.
Then a camera dude popped up and started throwing cheese at both of them.
billy screamed like a small child who had seen a ghost.
he grabbed Dom right between the legs.
"FRODO LIVES!!" Billy said randomly.
"Where?!" screamed Dom, wincing as Billy yelled.
"In My Pants!! And he's tickling me!" Dom giggled.
Then Billy jumped on top of a stack of Viggo's new book, and stipped himself into a glass of apple tango.
"OOh it's fizzy!" He felt a slight tingle in his tummy as he slurped a purple monkey dishwaher which made his brain freeze.
"Why must you mock me?" Dom said and wagged his bum seductively at the innocent fangirls hiding in the bushes.
They shrieked uncontrollably as dom started to strip.
He was kind of hairy and bumpy and had bits of chocolate stuck in the back hair but focus was on his big ugly red pimple on his tooth.
Why was it so frign red and big? "Who cares?" said Billy scratching it off with a sharp stick.
They both decided to throw snowballs at photographers following small rabbits into caves outside The Land of Disgruntled Postmen who lick feet.
Dom said "hey, lick my feet!" but the rabbits said they were vegan rabbits and refused to touch anything that may resemble homosexual, inanimate objects but they had hoped that Dom would give them some free ice-cream!!
But the ice-cream already melted and had to content themselves with nibbling at Dom's petite fingers.
Suddenly Frodo jumped out with mashed potatoes in his hair.
"Want some food guys?" he asked pulling out a straw and some tweezers, but Dom gagged and ran away.
Frodo ran after him and pelted him with apples while a cow suddenly came out of a chocolate icecream cone and offered Dom chocolate milk.
but the cow was purple so he did a back flip squashing frodo flat.
he coughed and strolled to Billy who was chucking rocks at the purple cow that turned green with envy when Dom did a more impressive backflip and landed gracefully.
dom gasped in surprise when he saw the cow.
"It's you! It's that cow who challenged me to a lollipop eating contest!"
"yeh so?" replied the cow.
"i beat you" said dom.
"Only by one lollipop" said billy passing out candy to the cow and dom who proceeded to have another lolipop eating contest.
"get ready to lick!" Shouted Billy.
They attacked their lollies, ferociously licking until Dom had finished one.
"Note to self: grape lollipops are the easiest to eat" shouted Dom throwing off his pants.
He ran over to the cow and tried to milk him.
"Yo! Dude! I'm milking a cow!" he shouted but noticed the cow was sleeping.
So he tipped it.
"Huzzah! I am the Lizard of Doom!" Elijah yelled and jumping onto a piano.
Dom told him to play Micheal jackson song.
but he was painting the white keys pink and singing a perky song.
"Elton John is so much fluffier than a teddy bear and much better smelling" he said with a cheeky smile.
Billy picked up the candy and wondered if he could eat it all in once.
He tried but found that it was way too big and nearly choked, but Dom performed emergency CPR.
Which meant it was just another way of saying I LOVE YOU!
Both Dom and Billy liked getting all the attention.
they jumped up and down yelling "Who saw, Who saw!" and throwing chocolate crackles everywhere while putting on their ditzy hooker outfits while Elijah was off pimping them for a date.
They both decided that the easiest way to get some cheese was to steal a disgruntled postman who strangly resembled Alex Trebek's mother who loved to kick garden gnomes that wore more than two kilts.
She thought this was an attempt at going astray from school but it was actually a side step to getting Carson to appear at his Dino costume with no undies allowing his tinker toys to be free and have room for some peices of carrots in a green bowl.
suddenly a big black carrot came and dragged Dom into a vat of chocolate frosting which attempted to eat him.
However the Dolphin Man had other plans and pulled Dom out of his massve lunchbox and covered him in tomato sauce.
"I shall name him MarvinOhhAhhAhhSquee!"
"Help me, I can't get my head out of this sushi bar. I think it's one anyway... It might be a lobster.." called Billy to announce that he'd earned his sergeants badge from the beaver toothed crash dummy affectionatly dubbed fatty smell butt.
This was so gross that all the icecreams melted into chocolate.
Why would they do such a thing to a watermelon?
It's completely inhumane.
Then they decided to join a musical featuring Hugh Jackman and Jackie Chan.
They cleverly titled it Koko's Revenge and was set in and all the clothes came in fancy little plastic packages.
Packages which were made from recycled grass clippings.
Billy was the first to try to eat one.
Which proved that the only way to really eat them was to drink vodka followed by a shot of lemon juice.
They tried standing on tip toe before riding a horse.
But that really wasn't girly enough for Dom.
So he went and put on on a frilly dress and an apron that squeaked indignantly everytime someone came to the barn door.
Dom thought it was hilarious and started jumping up and down on the green moss.
"OUCH YOU STEPPED ON MY FACE!" Billy yelled.
Dom looked down and his shoe was covered with cow dung.
"UGH! i've dirtied up my precious shoe!" he squealed.
Just then billy whipped out a stick and whacked Dom over the head for squealing so loud.
"OW!" squealed dom.
"you hurt me!"
just then Dorothy and Toto came flying out of the sea.
"theres no place like home!"
"Dom's home is Saturn," Billy squeeled.
dom smiled and took a sandwich out of Billy's pocket.
just then billy's belly growled at a passing fangirl.
Dom laughed and pointed at the black trees in the distance.
They were starting to walk towards Dom and Billy.
Dom and Billy glanced at purple and yellow frog that was eating itself.
It looked like it was having trouble gagging and getting kissed Dom.
Then suddenly a Carebear walked by with a picture of the frog.
Dom and Billy
[To Be Continued...]