(no subject)
Hahaha so! For her "death" in the recent CFUW game, Chizu-nee was actually thrown into complete isolation and sensory deprivation for several days. Now, that's something that's gonna fuck over anyone's senses, but it's especially bad for Chizu-nee because she is a person who adores people. She likes to be around them and to interact with them and help them and uwah. VERY SOCIABLE. And it's canon that she dislikes being alone! It's mentioned in her little info blurb, and I can't really think of a single panel where she isn't shown at least with another person, if not interacting with them. People and relationships are very important to her, so being cut off so completely from them was. Not cool! In the teeniest bit!
BUT DERA. You say. SHE SEEMED STABLE-ISH IN HER AWAKENING POST DERA. Well yeah, but that's entirely a result of the situation she was presented with when she landed on the stage. First you've gotta know that Chizu-nee is a strong character who will act when action is needed. When presented with a nervous, twitchy naked boy who's threatening lethal violence against her BFF, she keeps her calm completely and is able to realize he's just a feverish, scared, mildly delirious boy who needs help. And then she helps and adopts him, and that's where Kotarou came from. Later a creepy old dude BREAKS INTO HER DORM ROOM. KNOCKS OUT HER FRIEND. AND ATTEMPTS TO KILL KOTAROU WITH MAGIC MOUTH BEAMS and Chizu-nee just. Takes a few seconds to go "Holy shit what" and then she steps up and bitchslaps that creepy old dude in the fucking face. Instead of, you know, freaking the fuck out like normal and sane people would do. At no point in either of these situations is there the slightest flicker of fear. Surprise, yes! That shit's messed up man! But fear and apprehension are not emotions that cross her mind. After the fact she can admit the situations were a bit (A BIT) dangerous. Basically Chizu-nee is hardcore and is not a person who really does that whole fear thing.
So! Yes, she was very freaked out by the whole isolation thing. It's one of the only things that can really get to her, and possibly the only event she'd find trauma inducing that didn't involve threats or violence against someone other than her. But when she exitted the dream realm, the very first thing she was presented with was her savior looking preeeetty dead a few feet away. :( And so instead of staying in a rare mode of being freaked the fuck out for once, she shut the bulk of those emotions and freak outs away in order to deal with what she was interpretting as a serious and immediate situation. The way she saw it, freaking out could fucking wait. Cloud was hurt or comaing or maybe dead -- SOMETHING. And that was something she felt she needed to deal with instead! On other levels she also latched onto that for the simple fact that it was something else, and thinking about that meant she didn't have to think about where she'd just come from. It let her focus on another person, even if that other person was a floppy useless vegetable at the moment. And that's a million times better than thinking about a cold, black, soundless void she just escaped from. 8| And after that it just became much easier to keep focusing on the people in front of her instead of dealing with the whole TRAUMA issue. In short she's totally ignoring it and not really dealing with it at all (aside from one crying session she had with Mika).
Blahblahblah so we have Chizu-nee ignoring trauma issues. And this becomes more and more preferrable the more she sees CERTAIN PEOPLE worrying over her. Of particular note is Negi and his attempt to take a good long look into the dream world getting him bit to hell by the Wolf. He out and out said it was because he couldn't stand by while his students were being hurt and -- okay. Chizu-nee can understand that. She can admire the goodness of the intent behind it. But it still smacks of "Because you are hurt I am going to go do dumb things and be hurt too" at the core of it when she thinks about it. And that is not okay at aaallllll. Children should be children, not taking after dumb heroes. 8| And then there's Mika who has been sulky and depressed over spotting his brother in camp, and that puts Chizu-nee off talking about anything further with him. She doesn't like to see him upset, and he hasn't told her why he's upset so all she has to go off of is guesswork! And as far as her knowledge goes, the only reason he has to be upset is because she'd been hurt and comatose and other bad things, so. So! :( She plays a bit harder at Being Okay when presented with those two because she doesn't want them maimed or depressed respectively. And not dealing gets to be even more of a habit. 8| AWESOME.
Anywaaay. Yeah, she is actively avoiding discussions relating to the topic. Brushing them off, saying she's fine, changing the subject entirely! And the thing is people are letting her get away with that which is a really nice and caring gesture, but . . . I-it was a big trauma for her, and big traumas are going to leave scars. She is not okay, she's just good at getting up and carrying on in the way of badass shounen characters. But she still is just a girl on some levels, and she can't hide everything from people who are really, really paying attention (aside from occasional uneasiness when questions stray too closely to the whole. isolation thing).
For one! What was a simple dislike of being alone is now more of . . . okay yeah, I think I can call this a fear of being alone, though it will probably downgrade to a strong dislike of it with time. She can't stand it at all and will go out of her way to keep people within sight.
She also dislikes the quiet a lot now. She couldn't even hear her own voice in that void, so this is a big deal. If she thinks it's too quiet she'll either seek someone out for conversation or, if conversation is too much trouble for whatever reason, will put on music or a show or something that has human voices in it to keep her distracted.
Light iiiis less of a big deal; as long as there's even just starlight, she's fine with that. :|b It would take a pitch darkness to bother her at all. But you'd better believe she is not sleeping alone. At this point, pretty much has to have a warm body next to her to sleep easily.
SO UH. QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, UR DOIN' IT WRONG? srsly guys if this doesn't seem sound for Chizu-nee let me know. I-it is a really foreign situation to deal with her in. Also ffff I've been awake forever tell me if something just plain isn't coherent.
BUT DERA. You say. SHE SEEMED STABLE-ISH IN HER AWAKENING POST DERA. Well yeah, but that's entirely a result of the situation she was presented with when she landed on the stage. First you've gotta know that Chizu-nee is a strong character who will act when action is needed. When presented with a nervous, twitchy naked boy who's threatening lethal violence against her BFF, she keeps her calm completely and is able to realize he's just a feverish, scared, mildly delirious boy who needs help. And then she helps and adopts him, and that's where Kotarou came from. Later a creepy old dude BREAKS INTO HER DORM ROOM. KNOCKS OUT HER FRIEND. AND ATTEMPTS TO KILL KOTAROU WITH MAGIC MOUTH BEAMS and Chizu-nee just. Takes a few seconds to go "Holy shit what" and then she steps up and bitchslaps that creepy old dude in the fucking face. Instead of, you know, freaking the fuck out like normal and sane people would do. At no point in either of these situations is there the slightest flicker of fear. Surprise, yes! That shit's messed up man! But fear and apprehension are not emotions that cross her mind. After the fact she can admit the situations were a bit (A BIT) dangerous. Basically Chizu-nee is hardcore and is not a person who really does that whole fear thing.
So! Yes, she was very freaked out by the whole isolation thing. It's one of the only things that can really get to her, and possibly the only event she'd find trauma inducing that didn't involve threats or violence against someone other than her. But when she exitted the dream realm, the very first thing she was presented with was her savior looking preeeetty dead a few feet away. :( And so instead of staying in a rare mode of being freaked the fuck out for once, she shut the bulk of those emotions and freak outs away in order to deal with what she was interpretting as a serious and immediate situation. The way she saw it, freaking out could fucking wait. Cloud was hurt or comaing or maybe dead -- SOMETHING. And that was something she felt she needed to deal with instead! On other levels she also latched onto that for the simple fact that it was something else, and thinking about that meant she didn't have to think about where she'd just come from. It let her focus on another person, even if that other person was a floppy useless vegetable at the moment. And that's a million times better than thinking about a cold, black, soundless void she just escaped from. 8| And after that it just became much easier to keep focusing on the people in front of her instead of dealing with the whole TRAUMA issue. In short she's totally ignoring it and not really dealing with it at all (aside from one crying session she had with Mika).
Blahblahblah so we have Chizu-nee ignoring trauma issues. And this becomes more and more preferrable the more she sees CERTAIN PEOPLE worrying over her. Of particular note is Negi and his attempt to take a good long look into the dream world getting him bit to hell by the Wolf. He out and out said it was because he couldn't stand by while his students were being hurt and -- okay. Chizu-nee can understand that. She can admire the goodness of the intent behind it. But it still smacks of "Because you are hurt I am going to go do dumb things and be hurt too" at the core of it when she thinks about it. And that is not okay at aaallllll. Children should be children, not taking after dumb heroes. 8| And then there's Mika who has been sulky and depressed over spotting his brother in camp, and that puts Chizu-nee off talking about anything further with him. She doesn't like to see him upset, and he hasn't told her why he's upset so all she has to go off of is guesswork! And as far as her knowledge goes, the only reason he has to be upset is because she'd been hurt and comatose and other bad things, so. So! :( She plays a bit harder at Being Okay when presented with those two because she doesn't want them maimed or depressed respectively. And not dealing gets to be even more of a habit. 8| AWESOME.
Anywaaay. Yeah, she is actively avoiding discussions relating to the topic. Brushing them off, saying she's fine, changing the subject entirely! And the thing is people are letting her get away with that which is a really nice and caring gesture, but . . . I-it was a big trauma for her, and big traumas are going to leave scars. She is not okay, she's just good at getting up and carrying on in the way of badass shounen characters. But she still is just a girl on some levels, and she can't hide everything from people who are really, really paying attention (aside from occasional uneasiness when questions stray too closely to the whole. isolation thing).
For one! What was a simple dislike of being alone is now more of . . . okay yeah, I think I can call this a fear of being alone, though it will probably downgrade to a strong dislike of it with time. She can't stand it at all and will go out of her way to keep people within sight.
She also dislikes the quiet a lot now. She couldn't even hear her own voice in that void, so this is a big deal. If she thinks it's too quiet she'll either seek someone out for conversation or, if conversation is too much trouble for whatever reason, will put on music or a show or something that has human voices in it to keep her distracted.
Light iiiis less of a big deal; as long as there's even just starlight, she's fine with that. :|b It would take a pitch darkness to bother her at all. But you'd better believe she is not sleeping alone. At this point, pretty much has to have a warm body next to her to sleep easily.
SO UH. QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, UR DOIN' IT WRONG? srsly guys if this doesn't seem sound for Chizu-nee let me know. I-it is a really foreign situation to deal with her in. Also ffff I've been awake forever tell me if something just plain isn't coherent.