goodnight sleep light

[neglegens]

"I don't love you anymore." Her pale skin and thin wrists were trembling with passion, and her fists relaxed as the words boiled out from her full mouth and hot tounge. Her hard grey eyes flashed with the cold ambition that he remembered so well from the earlier days for when they loved one another as a mutualism. Now he was no more than a parasite

Comments

[arej]

Quite powerful. Great imagery but the sentences are too long sometimes - separating some would give a good balance of long and short. You used the word ambition a few too many times, too. But overall, this gripped me.

[clonedfreak]

Thank you. Critiques of yours are always a gem of advice.