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[nick / name]: Dea
[personal LJ name]: dea_liberty
[other characters currently played]: Jowy Atriedes :: Suikoden II :: stillprotecting
[e-mail]: dea.liberty (at) gmail.com
[AIM / messenger]: dealiberty
[series]: Pandora Hearts
[character]: Gilbert Nightray
[character history / background]: There are many things about his past that Gil doesn't actually remember. One could say he suffers from post-traumatic stress and his mind has unconsciously blocked out all those things that hurt him so much - or maybe he simply wanted to forget it so badly that he did. Whatever the reason, parts of Gil's history are known.
He was abandoned at a carnival along with his brother when he was young because Vincent had been born with one gold eye and one crimson eye - the crimson one being the "mark of misfortune" - considered incredibly unlucky to the point of cursed. They spent years on the street, stealing and cheating from noblemen who chose to take pity on them. More than once, Gil actually considered leaving his little brother, thinking that he could have a life if he didn't have Vincent to worry about all the time, but he could never go through with it.
One day, they were both picked up by Jack Vessalius. At first, Gil didn't think it would be any different from all the times they'd tried to work somewhere before and that, soon, they would be found out and dumped back on the streets, but Jack wasn't like the others. He accepted them both for who they were and gave them a life. They were happy serving in Jack's household until, one day, it was revealed that Jack's best friend Glen had, for some reason, chosen Gil as his next body. Gil would have to die in order for Glen to live. He was taken away to be prepared for the ritual. During the process, all hell broke lose in Sabrie. Literally. It was an event that would later be known as the Tragedy of Sabrie - and Gil and Vincent were at the center of it. Gil tried to protect Jack, tried to face down Glen so his master would have to, but he was injured and left to die. Vincent found him and dragged him into the Abyss.
They emerged a hundred years later, separated from each other, Gil without a single memory of the events of the first fourteen years of his life. He was found injured and unconscious at the Vessalius mansion by Uncle Oscar, who took the scared, shy boy to meet his nephew. Gil was to become Oz's new servant. Oz's personality overwhelmed Gil more than a little when they first met and he stood there a little stunned as Oz went about drawing up a "contract". When Uncle Oscar started to leave, Gil tried to go after him, tripped and fell. A vase almost fell on him but, to his surprise, Oz covered him with his body and told him that, from that day, Gil was his servant and it was the master's job to protect his servant. It was the beginning of a lifetime of devotion. Even if the first part of it seemed far too short.
At Oz's coming of age ceremony, Gil found his body being used by someone else to attack his young master. Oz tried to defend him, tried to attack the person who'd hurt Gil, but Gil caught a glimpse of the face and tried to stop his master only to be cut across the chest. He lost consciousness before he could see what happened to Oz. Gil was distraught when he woke up to find his young master gone from the world.
Eventually, he was approached by Xerxes Break, who convinced him that he could help Oz escape from the Abyss if he let himself be adopted by the Nightrays - the Vessalius' sworn enemies, but also the home of Gil's long lost brother. Break taught him how to use whatever he could to get Oz back. Gil became a Nightray, contracted the House's Chain, Raven, and planned to open a gate to the Abyss to rescue Oz. He abandoned his adopted family to achieve this. Oz, however, rescued himself. For a while after his return, Gil went only by "Raven" and wouldn't tell Oz that it had been ten years since his master had fallen into the Abyss. Oz found out anyway and, despite Gil's attempts to explain that things had changed, Oz allowed Gil to continue to be his servant.
From then on, they became about as inseparable as always, even if Gil was now more determined than ever to protect Oz. They work for Break and, therefore, for Pandora, fighting Chains and trying to find the truth of what happened 100 years ago. The goal is to prevent anything like the Tragedy from ever happening again which, according to Jack Vessalius, who exists as a soul fragment inside Oz, is something that the Baskervilles, Glen's family, are trying to make happen. Gil doesn't really care about what happens or whether or not Pandora achieve their goal of trying to gain the Will of the Abyss; all he really cares about is keeping Oz safe.
[character abilities]: Gilbert is legally contracted to a Chain, a bio-weapon from the depths of the Abyss. Chains give their Contractors the use of their powers in exchange for a form and the ability to exist outside the Abyss. Raven's power includes the ability to teleport between dimensions, including opening passages from the world into the Abyss, though this takes a great deal out of Gil, and the sealing and limitation of other Chains' powers through their Contractors. It is assumed that Gil's Chain could, like the others, probably be used in battle with other Chains but this has yet to happen in canon. In addition, his contract with Raven means that he will never physically age and will look the same until he dies. This is not to say that he is immortal: he still ages, and the contract with his Chain wears down his body, but his appearance will not change.
Gil is also an fantastic marksman. He trained for years to perfect his skills and those skills, , as opposed to his Chain, are his real weapons. Like many in his world, Gil is capable with a sword - he's seen training with one at a young age - but prefers to use guns. He's spent years training, both with guns and physically, and is therefore also in good shape and a relatively capable athlete.
[character personality]: Gil is full of contradictions. There are so many traits that shouldn't be able to exist alongside each other inside the same person. Not only that, but he varies depending on who he's with and what he's doing, and his character continues to develop throughout the series, shifting and changing as we get glimpses of Gil from the past as well as from different people in the present.
The one aspect of Gil that has not changed through the phases of his life is his nurturing nature. No matter how many times anyone in the series might call him useless, Gil is anything but that. When he was a child and abandoned by his mother, he was responsible for caring for Vincent's wellbeing - and he did it despite the fact that Vincent - and his crimson eye - seemed to be the reason their life was so difficult. Even though there were times when Gil considered leaving his brother, Gil never actually went through with it - and couldn't have gone through with it. Gil isn't capable of simply leaving someone who needs him behind. Even once they were taken in by Jack Vessalius, Gil continued to care for Vincent, as well as his new master, to the best of his abilities.
Very much linked to the above trait is Gil's loyalty, another part of his character that does not change despite the differing circumstances throughout his life and despite other changes in his personality. Just as he can't leave a person in need, Gil can't abandon someone he's sworn himself to. As a child, he was loyal to Vincent and then to Jack, who he tried to protect even though he knew he would have been no match against Glen. When he became Oz's attendant, his life became completely devoted to Oz, even after Oz was pulled into the Abyss. Everything Gil did from that moment, he did for Oz, whether it was being adopted by the Nightrays, playing nice with a brother he couldn't remember, contracting Raven, working for Break - everything in those ten years was done with the goal of helping Oz escape from the Abyss. After Oz's return, Gil was the first person by his side and remained by his side even when Oz didn't know who he was. Even though, during the latter part of the series, there has been instances where he seems to have been hypnotized into being willing to destroy anyone who tried to hurt Oz, it is obvious that these feelings remain the same on a normal basis - just less fanatically. Gil will even go up against his own family, as seen by his confrontations with both Vincent and Elliot, if they were trying to hurt his master. Despite the fact that he is now a Nightray, Gil's oath to always be by Oz's side is stronger than his familial ties.
This unwavering loyalty means that Gil is a person who is ruthless when it comes to attaining his most important goal. It's heavily implied that, to contract Raven - and in being Raven's contract - Gil has had to do things he would not have wanted to otherwise, and he has done them in order to gain what he needs. Even though he is ashamed of this, as he tells Oz when Oz finally finds out that he, Raven, is actually Gil, he has not regretted them because he was doing them to save Oz. It can be seen, therefore, that Gil is very much driven by his goal, and that the ends, therefore, justify the means.
A recurring aspect of his character throughout the series is also Gil's opinion of himself, which is seen in the example above as well; Gil doesn't think very highly of himself. He believed that the things he'd done to save Oz somehow made him worth less to his young master, and he believed that completely even though Oz tries to explain to him that he can't see a difference. Not only that, but as Oz seems to grow into himself, this insecurity in Gil seems to get stronger and stronger. As Break points out to him, Gil is scared to get left behind. This is made worse after their visit to Sablier, in which Gil begins to question his utter loyalty to Oz because of his past with Jack, and because Oz realizes that he's been putting a strain on the others around him and promises Gil that he will stand on his own from now on. Because his drive has been completely centered on Oz and Oz has needed him thus far, this continues to severely affect Gil up to the current canon.
There are many traits in Gil that seem slightly regressive when he is with Oz. Even though he is the one who is supposed to be the caretaker, Oz definitely has the more dominant personality of the two. The time when he was the most "childlike" was when he was serving Oz before Oz was thrown into the Abyss. Because he has no memories of his earlier childhood taking care of Vincent and serving in other households, Oz's personality seems to completely dominate Gil's, and Gil is constantly bullied and teased by his master. Affectionately, of course, but still absolutely dominated all the same. Even when Oz returns from the Abyss and, technically, Gil is now ten years older than his master, Oz continues to bully Gil. It is when Gil is with Oz that we see his less serious side and see past the cool, collected facade that he tries to maintain as Raven's contractor. Through Oz, we see that Gil is nervous around women, especially if they're praising him or generally paying attention to him, for example.
The other people who are used to seeing the less than competent side of Gil, not including Uncle Oscar, are Sharon and Break, who both enjoy teasing him though Break does that far more obviously than Sharon does. Break has no qualms about calling Gil "useless" and picking on him almost as much as Oz does even though Gil tends to fight back a little more when it comes to Break. Break was the one who taught Gil to use other people, freely admitting that everyone used each other in one way or another. He was the one who showed Gil how he could help get Oz back and he is Gil's superior in Pandora. It's clear, therefore, that despite Break calling Gil useless regularly, he knows that it is anything but the truth. Gil has a certain loyalty to Break - and to Pandora as well - but this is completely trumped by his concern for Oz and, with Oz's return, his young master trumps both his superior and Pandora.
The only person who has ever made Gil question his loyalty to Oz has been the soul fragments of Jack that he's talked to. Through these conversations, Gil has started to regain some of the memories of the Tragedy and the events before then that his mind had unconsciously suppressed. When Jack questions whether his loyalty was to Oz or to Jack, who is housed in Oz, Gil's entire world gets turned upside down. Despite making the decision that it doesn't really matter who his loyalty is to because he is happy just to be beside Oz and to protect him, the question still haunts him and, up until now, he has still not been able to find the answer.
A completely different side of Gil is seen, surprisingly, in his interactions with Vincent. Whilst the others are within Gil's circle, as it were, Vincent seems to hold a singularly strange position of being neither part of the group of people Gil would protect with his life nor outside of that completely. Gil doesn't remember Vincent from before - though he's beginning to regain these memories - and didn't really understand why Vincent had always been so determined to find him. He did, however, resolve to use Vincent's affections, however strange they were, in order to enter the Nightray house and contract Raven. In the present time, Gil still doesn't seem to know what to make of his brother. While he clearly cares still for him in a lot of ways - he's still family, even if Gil doesn't truly remember it - Gil clearly doesn't trust Vincent at all, especially after finding out that Vincent was somehow involved in the Tragedy and he was seen by Break talking to the Will of the Abyss. With his brother, Gil is somewhere between stand-offish and cold, and familiar, and the relationship is clearly more strained than ever now that Oz is back.
His relationship with the remaining Nightrays - Elliot and Vanessa specifically - are also incredibly strained due to his leaving to go back to Oz's side. Even though he tries to reach out to Elliot (he has not interacted with Vanessa much canonically), Elliot seems to have been offended by how easily his brother left the family behind, and rejects his attempts to bond. Though Gil continues to try despite the fact that he keeps getting rebuffed. Clearly, even though he claimed that he joined the family for the purposes of obtaining the Chain and only that, this is not the truth. His caring nature means that, when he's around someone long enough and gets to know him, Gil begins to care and he begins to form an attachment to them. Being rejected, as he is when he reaches out to Elliot, also has a strong impact on him and affects how he sees himself. The fact that he has never really been able to see himself as a noble, and that he has quite happily retaken up the post of the servant to a Vessalius, strains his relationship with his adopted family even more.
The very basic truth about Gil, therefore, is that he needs to be needed; he's transferred this feeling from Vincent to Jack to Oz to Break to a certain degree, partially back to Vincent and his adoptive family, and then back to Oz again. He has lived his entire life that way - pleasing others and not thinking so much about himself. Because of this, he constantly lives with the fear that, somehow, this will be taken from him and he will have nothing to live for. This is made worse by the fact that his loyalties are now somewhat divided and conflicted. Whilst there is a clear hierarchy in a lot of cases (such as Oz will always come first), the bottom line is that, if he has to choose, he will end up regretting it and hurting either way.
Inside, there is still a lot about Gil that remains relatively childlike, as though parts of him grew up too fast, leaving behind certain aspects that never grew up at all. He hides all these insecurities behind a mask of cold detachment. It could be argued that this emotionless, detached personality is one Gil sometimes wishes he had - but the truth is that it goes very much against his nature; a kind, caring, thoughtful individual that will put the needs of others first.
[point in timeline you're picking your character from]: Chapter 50, when he goes to find Elliot after Elliot and Leo fight.
[journal post]:
[There's a bunch of cackling and clicking. He's obviously been fidgeting with the device for a while, examining it, trying to figure out, but he finally hits the on switch. He looks a little wary of the thing in his hands but he's staring right at the screen. There's a cigarette in his mouth and his hand is only shaking a little as he takes a puff and pulls it away from his lips enough to talk.]
They told me to talk to this thing when the light comes on. Directions would have been more helpful. Tch. [He's visibly unconvinced that the device is going to do anything at all.] I'm talking. Now it's your turn. Where am I?
[It's not hard to see he's from a time before this kind of communication, and he keeps shooting dirty glances in one direction. Probably the direction the people who'd advised him to try the device had gone in. He might even be checking to make sure they're not hiding in a bush laughing at him. He takes another puff of the cigarette and continues to look skeptically at the screen.]
[third person / log sample]:
It was a trap. This had been a trap all along. They'd been here, waiting for them, and Gil was willing to bet that Break and Sharon had known about this. Break had told them to come here anyway.
"Is it that unforgivable?" The Baskerville asked and Gil could only grit his teeth, aim the revolver right at her heart. Yes. Yes, it was unforgivable. What she'd done - what she'd made him do - there was no way he would ever forgive that. "Ten years ago."
It didn't make a difference whether it was ten years or ten days or ten minutes. She'd made him betray his master. She'd made him hurt Oz, and then she'd thrown him down into the Abyss. It didn't matter that time had passed since then. Nothing mattered except the fact that she'd used him to hurt the person who'd been most important to him. And Gil…he'd been weak enough to allow himself to be used.
The crash of a door behind him. Gil's eyes widened - no - and he shouted…something. He didn't even know. For Oz to go away. For him to run. He didn't know because it was that moment of distraction that those hated strings - that hated Chain - wrapped around him again, moved his body as easily as it did when he was fourteen years old. No. No, no, no. That bitch was spilling his secrets, telling Oz the things he didn't want Oz to know - and then his body was moving of its own accord. Towards Oz. To hurt Oz. Again. Ten years and Gil was still a failure.
Run, Oz, he thought desperately, even as his fist connected with Oz's face. Run. Hurt me. Get away.
But Oz didn't even fight back. He just ripped at Gil's shirt until… the scar. The one from Oz's own sword. That look of resignation in Oz's eyes. Gil would have done anything to get rid of that look in Oz's eyes. It cut right through him - it cut through the years, through the pain, the loneliness, through all his carefully built shields.
"Gil," Oz said, like nothing had changed even though everything had changed. "If my actions are what will make you break that promise…I'd rather die."
I promise that I will never betray you. His body was still moving, the Chain playing him as easily as any puppet. Oz was moving his gun right to his head, looking up at Gil, smiling at Gil like this was okay.
I promise that I will never betray you.
Everything that he'd done. Everything that he'd lost. Everything he'd just got back again… To lose that again - to lose Oz again - it was unthinkable. He could feel the power of the chain, feel its influence, feel his body's desire to pull that trigger. But this time, he fought. He gritted his teeth and fought with everything inside him. It couldn't make him. Ten years of despair and only a few weeks with that light returned?
No.
No.
The gun fired. But he'd turned it on the Baskerville. The Chain's strings had snapped, and even though Gil felt like his muscles had all turned to water, blood was seeping onto that hated red cloak and not Oz's shirt.
He'd pushed himself off Oz a few seconds later, gun aimed, between her and Oz. She wasn't ever getting anywhere near Oz again. As long as Gil was alive and as long as Oz would let him, Gil would stand between Oz and anything.
[additional third person:]
Sometimes, Gil thought, he really needed to learn how to say no. Especially when he had a sneaky suspicion that whatever whoever it was had planned couldn't possibly be a good thing. For example, being told to put on a school uniform and get into the carriage? They weren't instructions that were going to have a happy ending to them. Gil really, really should have known better. Especially when the order came from Uncle Oscar and the destination was Ada's college.
Of course, whatever protests he'd had had been silenced within minutes. No matter how he tried to wriggle out of it, he'd found himself on said carriage, heading towards said school. Because apparently, little Ada was in love.
Just when he'd thought things couldn't possibly get worse, Uncle Oscar had promptly shown them a secret passage and then proceeded to act incredibly suspicious to the first school girls he'd come across. To make things even worse, Ada had gone and mentioned the stupid hat she'd given him, and Uncle Oscar and Oz's outrage and anger had turned to him. He still didn't understand how they could have possibly come to the conclusion that he was Ada's love interest (he wasn't! Why couldn't they see that?), he didn't know.
The day went from bad - and it had been really, really, really bad - to even worse. What was worse than a Vessalius' protective anger? Two Vessalii. And what was even worse than that? School girls. A group of them. Surrounding him. Hearts in eyes (almost literally), giggling and screaming and… Gil didn't know what to do with that kind of attention. He just stood there, frozen in place, trying not to do too much in case they started…cooing (oh god, cooing) because his eye had twitched and it was "so cool." He was going to faint and then Oz and Alice and Break and even Sharon would mock him.
"Uh," he said, trying to get more than a syllable out. The shriek that followed was loud enough to drown out anything he might have been trying to say anyway and, to Gil's horror, the girls seemed to press in even closer to him. Where was Oz when Gil needed him the most? He was about to really lose it when he felt the slight twinge in his hand and, suddenly, none of that mattered anymore. Wherever Oz was, he was in trouble, and Gil needed to find him now. He didn't even register the girls' disappointment - didn't even notice they were there anymore let alone whether there was any reaction from them at all - as he stalked off towards the school building.