[one shot] first time for everything [2/2]
“Jackson, did you hurt yourself? You’re practically limping,” Taecyeon asks the second I step into the break room.
It’s been two whole days since I let Jinyoung stick silicone plugs up my ass. Although it hurt less than that sentence would lead one to think, things like walking and sitting-not to mention shitting-still have a tinge of pain associated with them. With Taecyeon watching me, I try to walk as naturally as I possibly can, without aggravating the sore muscles in my ass. Judging from the way his eyebrows knit together it doesn’t work.
“I just had a bad landing when I was trying out a skateboard trick,” I wave my hand dismissively. “It’s a bad sprain, at worst. I’ll be right as rain in a week.” He doesn’t look like he completely believes that, but he lets it go.
“So, I heard you signed the contract and have an upcoming project with the new guy, Jaebum.”
“Yes, and yes,” I nod, busying myself with making a cup of coffee just so I don’t have to look Taecyeon in the eyes.
“Have you met him yet?”
“No, not yet, but we’re scheduled for a project run-through later this morning, so I should see him then.” In the meantime, I should probably work on how to talk to him without sounding like a dickhead.
“Excuse me, I’m looking for someone named Jackson,” a voice like melted chocolate enters the room.
I turn away from the coffee machine and there he is. His hair is shorter than it was in the last video he made with his old company, all the better to see his piercing eyes and killer bone structure. He seems shorter in person, but the confidence in his stance and the way he just exudes ease with himself more than makes up for that.
“Hello?”
I blink and Jaebum is suddenly a lot closer than he was a few seconds ago.
“Yes, this is Jackson,” Taecyeon sidles up beside me and gives me a light slap on the back. “Jackson, meet Im Jaebum, the newest member of our family.”
“Oh, right, yes, pleased to meet you,” I take the hint, all but falling forward in a bow. “Shit,” I gasp as my coffee goes tumbling to the ground, sending black liquid splashing across the floor. “I’m really sorry,” I rush to apologise, fervently hoping that he doesn’t think I’m some kind of clumsy idiot.
“It’s alright, the floor will survive and so will my clothes. It’s a good thing I decided to wear black,” Jaebum chuckles slightly.
Normally, I just feel second hand embarrassment when people-i.e. the boss-laugh at their own jokes, but just Jaebum makes it look cool and not the least bit awkward.
“Well, I just stopped by to introduce myself to you before we have to get into the real nitty-gritty of work. Jackson, I’ll see you later. Ok Taecyeon, it was a pleasure to meet you,” Jaebum steps back a bit before he leaves us with a couple parting bows.
“Should I be disappointed? I don’t recall you spilling your coffee when you met me for the first time,” Taecyeon speaks up after the door closes behind Jaebum.
“Taec, please, not today.” My ass is sore, my pride is bruised and my shoes are soaked with lukewarm coffee-which I’m gonna now have to clean up.
Luckily, Taecyeon’s kindness wins out over his penchant for teasing. He pushes me towards the door and tells me, “Go on, I’ll take care of this mess.”
“Thank you,” I sigh in relief before I hobble out of the break room. I make a quick stop off at the changing rooms to steal a pair of Jinyoung’s shoes before I head over to the conference room where the run-through is being held, because there’s no way I’m going to let my feet marinade in bad coffee.
The conference room is devoid of people when I arrive, but there are nibbles laid out on the table, so I take a seat and help myself. Jaebum is the next to arrive, and he, of course, enters right when I’m stuffing a whole banana muffin into my mouth. I end up double over the table in a coughing fit after trying to quickly chew and swallow the thing. Soggy chunks of muffin go splattering to the table and strings of drool hang from my open mouth. Fucking awesome.
“Easy, there. Just try to breathe through it, and have some water,” Jaebum says soothingly as he pounds on my back.
“Thanks,” I cough. After clearing the last bit of muffin from my throat, I take the bottle of water he offers me, and slowly drink it down. I don’t even want to imagine how I must look in his eyes. Jaebum must be lamenting his luck to be working with someone who is obviously too stupid to live.
“Hey, Jackson?”
“Yes?” I mumble, eyes on the table as I wipe my mouth with a napkin.
“Jackson,” Jaebum puts his hand on my shoulder and forces me to shift in my seat until I have no choice but to look up at him. He quickly glances at the clock on the far wall and the door to the room before he turns back to me. “I’m not a scary person in real life, you don’t have to be so anxious around me.”
“Anxious, me?” I bluff.
He gives me an unimpressed look. The clock strikes ten, and Jaebum throws another quick glance at the door before he continues. “Look, I don’t know if you do this sort of thing at JYP, but at my previous company we would sometimes do rehearsals for scenes that one of the actors wasn’t completely comfortable with.”
“A rehearsal?” I blink at him. I think I might know where he’s going with this, but I won’t believe it until the words actually leave his lips.
He nods. “Shooting probably won’t start until Monday. Before that, the two of us can do a rehearsal of a few scenes so you can get comfortable with me, learn not to freak out when I get in character,” he grins. In this moment, it’s so hard for me to reconcile this boyish, considerate guy with the hardboiled dominant he becomes in front of a camera.
The door opens and Boss Jinyoung walks in, the shooting crew behind him.
“Think about it and tell me after the meeting,” he lightly slaps the side of my neck, and moves to take his seat.
I might as well be absent from the meeting, because I’m so distracted by the Jaebum’s proposition, and his presence, and the tingling in the skin of my neck, and the soreness of my ass that I don’t give any contributions, meaningful or otherwise. Usually, Boss Jinyoung will have to tell me to shut up for a minute at least once in these things, but today he has to prompt me to talk. That doesn’t escape his notice, judging by the look he gives me at times.
Whatever. I can’t even think about that right now when I have to come up with an answer for Jaebum in, like, fourteen minutes. It makes sense to get the worst of my awkwardness and flubbing out of the way before shooting actually starts, save myself some of the grief Boss Jinyoung is sure to give me, but my ass is still sore. Unless it magically heals, I’ll have to tell Jaebum why he needs to take it easy. And I’d rather choke on another muffin in front of him than do that.
“Jackson, are you paying attention?”
“Uh, yeah, sure,” I blink hard to refocus my eyes.
“What’s with you today?” Boss Jinyoung shakes his head at me. “Whatever it is, deal with it by six a.m., Monday morning.”
Inwardly, I groan at the thought of having to drag myself out of bed at four in the morning, but I keep my face neutral and nod solemnly. “Yes, of course.”
“Alright, this meeting is adjourned. You have the rest of today, tomorrow, and the weekend to be at one hundred percent for shooting. Try to actually learn your lines this time,” the boss says with exasperation as he gathers his files together.
I bite back my usual retort of, ‘It’s porn, who even cares about the storyline?’ when I notice Jaebum looking at me in the corner of my eyes. “I always try, it’s my horrible memory that lets me down.”
A couple of the remaining shooting crew members snicker as they head out the door. I wait until they’re all gone before I turn to Jaebum.
“So, this rehearsal, when and where?” I ask lowly.
“We could start today,” he says simply, making my eyes widen. “We could just go through the establishing scenes, get into our characters and get familiar with saying the lines. The physical scenes aren’t scheduled to be shot until later next week, anyway.”
He’s giving me an out, one I was hoping for just a few minutes ago, one that I could take to put off a very embarrassing conversation.
I heave a sigh. “You’re going to find this out eventually, so I may as well tell you now.” Jaebum raises an eyebrow at me. “I’ve never bottomed before, and a few days ago I tried to, you know, ‘prepare myself’ for the experience. I’m still sore from that and my mind is spinning at the thought of doing it for real, especially with you.” I’m slightly winded and a bit lightheaded after getting all those skeletons out of my closet, but there’s something freeing about it too.
“Ah, I see,” Jaebum nods.
He’s biting the inside of his cheek, but that doesn’t hide the laughter in his eyes. Maybe something in my expression tells him that he’s failed in concealing his humour, because he starts to chuckle after staring at me for a few seconds. Great.
“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh at you. Really, I’m laughing at myself,” he snorts.
What???
“I wasn’t always an exclusive top when I first started out. My first few roles could accurately be summed up as ‘whipping boy’, actually.”
“No way,” I blurt out. I can’t even imagine that.
He shrugs. “The first company I joined was a tiny one that went bankrupt about three years after they launched, and I used a pseudonym back then, so that’s probably why it’s not very well-known. But nothing is truly erased from the Internet. There are probably some surviving copies of me getting reamed in a maid outfit somewhere,” he says wistfully. “Anyway, the point is that you don’t have to be ashamed of something like a lack of experience or having done embarrassing things in the course of this job.”
“Huh, well, when you put it like that, I guess I don’t feel so stupid anymore,” I rub the back of my head with a chuckle. It would be more accurate to say that I’m dizzy with relief, but that works well enough.
“So?” Jaebum holds out one hand to me, the other cocked on his hip.
I grin brightly and grab his hand. “Let’s do this.”
As we move through the halls of the JYP building, I mentally laugh at how much I was dreading this just a few days ago. I mean, sure, I’m still a bit nervous, but now it’s more like that slight bubbling in my stomach that I used to get before the start of a fencing match.
“Where are we headed?” Jaebum asks, amusement lacing his voice. I don’t know if it’s because I’m so much more visibly relaxed than I was a few minutes ago or if it’s because I’m still holding onto his hand as I lead him through the halls.
“The dorm set where we’re going to shoot our scenes. Youngjae and Bambam just finished a shoot there and no-one else will be using it until after its scheduled cleaning and redecorating this weekend.”
“That doesn’t sound very hygienic,” his amusement morphs into disgust.
“There’s a spare, untouched bed in there that we can use,” I try to reassure him. From his face, it looks like he’s having reservations, but he doesn’t try to stop me-and he damn well could, between his muscles and my handicap-so I keep going.
The window to the dorm set is broken-and has been for as long as I’ve worked at JYP-so the slightly stale air, tinged with the smell of sweat, deodorant and bodily fluids is the first thing that hits me when I open the door. Beside me, Jaebum makes a face, but he kicks the door shut and steps further inside the room. For a long second, I have no idea what to say or do, but Jaebum is way ahead of me.
“It’s not guys. It’s just…just you,” he rasps, pulling his shirt over his head.
The waver in his voice is so at odds with the methodical way that he’s stripping and folding his clothes that it takes me a moment to realise that he’s reciting lines from the script. It takes me another moment to remember what my lines are.
“Just me? Should that make me feel special?” I’m nowhere near as natural in my delivery as he is, but that’s not the point of this exercise anyway. I follow his lead and shed my own clothes.
“You’re in my thoughts all the time, even when I’m asleep. I-I imagine myself doing things with you that I never would’ve imagined doing with a guy. This is all your fault. Take responsibility!” Jaebum grabs me by the shoulders and moves me so that I’m standing in front of the spare bed, then he pushes me down.
I’m still bouncing on the bed when he climbs on top of me and seals our lips together in a searing kiss. His skin is wonderfully warm beneath my fingertips and I can taste cherry lip balm on his soft lips. He rocks his groin into mine, and shit he’s already hard. A few more grinds, and I’m right there with him.
“Oh, fuck. Are sure you, you’ve never done this with a guy before?” I pant, trying to hold onto my wits enough to stay in character.
Jaebum tilts my head until I’m staring him right in the eyes. “You’re my first,” he whispers.
I swallow hard. “Well, there’s a first time for everything,” I say with a half-hearted chuckle.
“What about you?” he asks.
“Huh?” I blink. He’s going off-script.
“Am I your first?” he breaks character slightly to raise his eyebrows in a significant way.
Ohhhhh.
“I’ve actually never gone this far with guy,” I say bashfully, hoping that Jaebum doesn’t realise how little I’m actually acting.
His entire face goes soft. “Don’t be scared, I might not know what I’m doing, but I’ll be careful. I won’t hurt you,” he lightly strokes my cheek with the pad of his thumb.
Holy shit! No wonder he’s so respected, he’s amazing. I-I mean, fuck, my heart is gonna beat out of its chest if he keeps dropping lines like that and looking at me like that and-
He closes the gap between our lips again, and slips one of his hands past the waistband of my boxers. His hand is warm and slightly rough against the skin of my cock. He jerks it hard, twisting his wrist as he goes.
“Fuck!” If he doesn’t slow down, I’m going to have to add another embarrassment to my list. He stops, leaving me shaking and shuddering.
“Hold onto me,” he whispers into my ear.
My arms feel like wet spaghetti, but I snake them around his neck and hold him as tightly as I can. He slips his arm around my waist and hauls me off the bed and into his lap so that my knees are on either side of his hips. I’m still catching my breath when I feel something warm and wet against the sensitive skin of my asshole. I hiss. He stops.
“Just keep going,” I pant.
“I told you that I won’t hurt you,” Jaebum says firmly.
“Isn’t it supposed to hurt a bit anyway?” I counter, not even trying to act anymore.
“I’m going to try something different. Tell me if you find it too weird,” Jaebum lowers me back to the bed and nudges me onto my stomach. When he slips a pillow from the next bed under my hips, I’m hit with déjà vu, or whatever it is when you actually have experienced the same thing twice.
Whereas Jinyoung used silicone plugs to loosen me up and stretch me out, Jaebum uses what feels a lot like-
“Oh my God! Is that your tongue?!” I arch up off the bed, sending Jaebum’s tongue-his tongue-deeper inside me.
“Is that alright with you?”
“It’s-it’s definitely weird, but not in a bad way, I guess,” I blink, trying to process how I feel about this. “It doesn’t hurt as much as your finger, so keep going,” I lie back down on the bed.
Jaebum spreads my ass cheeks and licks a hot, wet stripe right at my centre. Another hiss escapes me, but this one is only slightly pained. I have to admit, once the initially weirdness of having a tongue in my ass wears off, it actually feels pretty good. Before I know it, my hips start moving of their own accord, rubbing my cock against the scratchy cotton sheets. Jaebum stops the motion of my hips with his hands.
“Stay still,” he orders, using that tone I’m used to hearing from him as he mouth fucks someone until they start to gag. It sends a ripple of shock through my body, even though I know that he’s been holding back for my benefit.
I expect him to start tonguing me again, but this time he slips what feels like three fingers up my ass. Jaebum really knew what he was talking about. Even if it stings, they go in a lot easier than I ever thought three fingers could.
“That’s right, just relax,” Jaebum curls his other hand around my cock and starts stroking it again.
The slight burn of his fingers in my ass and the tightness of his hold on my cock set off a series of conflicting sensations that scramble my brain. Then he adjusts my hips and shifts his fingers and-
“Holy fucking shit!” My whole body jerks like I’ve been struck by lightning.
“Hold on, it gets even better,” Jaebum pulls out his fingers and trails them down my back.
Before I can question him, he slips the head of his cock into my hole. It’s thick, thicker than anything that he or Jinyoung has stuck up there-and it fucking hurts.
“Ah, shit,” I grit out between clenched teeth, clawing at the sheets.
“Jackson, you have to relax,” Jaebum pries open my fists and laces our fingers together.
People keep saying that, but it’s not like I’m trying to tense up and make it hurt even worse. That’s just what my body does in these kinds of situations, and I wish they’d stop making me feel like an idiot for not being to just relax on command like they apparently can.
Jaebum pulls out of me. “It’s okay, Jackson. It’s okay,” he runs his hands up and down my back.
There’s a wet spot right by my head, saliva and tears. I hold back a sniff as I discreetly rub at my eyes. Jaebum flips me onto my back. My eyes are probably red and swollen, but he doesn’t say anything. He just pulls me up into his lap so that my knees are on either side of his hips. He presses lightly on the back of my neck, tilting my head down for a kiss that’s as soft as his lips. Between his lips and his tongue and the motion of his hands against my back, he kisses the tension out of my body.
“Want to try again?” he murmurs into my mouth.
“Yeah, sure,” I sigh.
He shifts on the bed until his back rests against the wall, me still in his lap. With one hand he reaches for a bottle of lube that I hadn’t noticed until now. He dumps a whole load of it onto his cock.
“Go up on your heels for a second,” he directs me.
I follow, watching as he positions his cock, covered in a condom and liberally coated with lube, right under my asshole. Maybe it’s the change in position or angle or the extra lube, but this time around, his cock slides inside me with much less resistance.
“Ah, slowly, slowly,” I grunt, my fingers digging into the skin of his shoulders as I try to keep my balance.
“I’ve got you,” Jaebum breathes, his hands holding my hips in an iron grip.
It takes what feels like an hour, but eventually my ass comes to a stop on Jaebum’s thighs, his cock fully inside me. I slowly release the breath I didn’t realise I was holding.
“Well done,” Jaebum pecks me on the lips. “Now, sit back and enjoy the ride.”
“You’re a man after my own heart,” I chuckle weakly, wiping the sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand.
Jaebum flashes that boyish grin again. Before I can soak it in, his face gets hard with concentration and focus, and he starts to slowly roll his hips. A strangled groan falls from my lips. My ass is still sore, but his movements are hitting that sweet spot inside me, and my body has no idea if I’m truly enjoying this or not. Jaebum breaks the deadlock by wrapping his hand around my cock and sealing our lips together.
My hands grab at his hair, his shoulders, his back-any part of him that I can reach. My hips buck up into his hand, faster and faster and faster. Jaebum’s movements pick up as well, the rolling punctuated with sharp thrusts that stab me with pain and pleasure. Right now, the burn is the only thing preventing me from losing my mind altogether.
Jaebum lets go of my hips and uses his hands to push up his hips and holy shit! I’m bouncing on his cock. Fuck, it feels good! I pull away from his mouth; I can kiss and breathe at the same time anymore. Jaebum follows me, locking his lips over the pulse point in my neck and-fuck!
“Jesus!”
My body shakes and shudders and spasms, until I’m all but flailing in Jaebum’s lap. One last hip roll-thrust-hand pump-neck suck combination from him sends me over the top. I can feel the muscles in my eyes straining as they roll back in my head. My body burns like I’ve been set on fire. I lean back too far and end up sprawling back on the bed, Jaebum collapsing on top of me as his body shakes as well. My past as an athlete makes me better at catching my breath, but my chest jerks with hiccups.
“Do you always do that when you come?” Jaebum asks lazily, siting up just enough so he can rest his head in his hand as he stares down at me.
“Maybe. Wanna have a few more rehearsals and find out?” I wiggle my eyebrows at him.
Jaebum chuckles lowly in his chest, his eyes warm, and his expression soft and fond. His body radiates pleasant heat, and the musk of his deodorant envelops me. There’s nothing I’d rather do than tuck myself into his side and stay there for the rest of the day, bask in his heat and his scent. His lips twitch slightly, then he leans down and gently presses his lips to mine.
“Hic!”
Jaebum pulls away with a chuckle. “We can rehearse some more later. For now, let’s get out of here before they come to clean the room.”
“Your place or mine?” I groan, pain rippling in my lower back as I stretch.
Jaebum lightly slaps the side of my neck.
It’s been two whole days since I let Jinyoung stick silicone plugs up my ass. Although it hurt less than that sentence would lead one to think, things like walking and sitting-not to mention shitting-still have a tinge of pain associated with them. With Taecyeon watching me, I try to walk as naturally as I possibly can, without aggravating the sore muscles in my ass. Judging from the way his eyebrows knit together it doesn’t work.
“I just had a bad landing when I was trying out a skateboard trick,” I wave my hand dismissively. “It’s a bad sprain, at worst. I’ll be right as rain in a week.” He doesn’t look like he completely believes that, but he lets it go.
“So, I heard you signed the contract and have an upcoming project with the new guy, Jaebum.”
“Yes, and yes,” I nod, busying myself with making a cup of coffee just so I don’t have to look Taecyeon in the eyes.
“Have you met him yet?”
“No, not yet, but we’re scheduled for a project run-through later this morning, so I should see him then.” In the meantime, I should probably work on how to talk to him without sounding like a dickhead.
“Excuse me, I’m looking for someone named Jackson,” a voice like melted chocolate enters the room.
I turn away from the coffee machine and there he is. His hair is shorter than it was in the last video he made with his old company, all the better to see his piercing eyes and killer bone structure. He seems shorter in person, but the confidence in his stance and the way he just exudes ease with himself more than makes up for that.
“Hello?”
I blink and Jaebum is suddenly a lot closer than he was a few seconds ago.
“Yes, this is Jackson,” Taecyeon sidles up beside me and gives me a light slap on the back. “Jackson, meet Im Jaebum, the newest member of our family.”
“Oh, right, yes, pleased to meet you,” I take the hint, all but falling forward in a bow. “Shit,” I gasp as my coffee goes tumbling to the ground, sending black liquid splashing across the floor. “I’m really sorry,” I rush to apologise, fervently hoping that he doesn’t think I’m some kind of clumsy idiot.
“It’s alright, the floor will survive and so will my clothes. It’s a good thing I decided to wear black,” Jaebum chuckles slightly.
Normally, I just feel second hand embarrassment when people-i.e. the boss-laugh at their own jokes, but just Jaebum makes it look cool and not the least bit awkward.
“Well, I just stopped by to introduce myself to you before we have to get into the real nitty-gritty of work. Jackson, I’ll see you later. Ok Taecyeon, it was a pleasure to meet you,” Jaebum steps back a bit before he leaves us with a couple parting bows.
“Should I be disappointed? I don’t recall you spilling your coffee when you met me for the first time,” Taecyeon speaks up after the door closes behind Jaebum.
“Taec, please, not today.” My ass is sore, my pride is bruised and my shoes are soaked with lukewarm coffee-which I’m gonna now have to clean up.
Luckily, Taecyeon’s kindness wins out over his penchant for teasing. He pushes me towards the door and tells me, “Go on, I’ll take care of this mess.”
“Thank you,” I sigh in relief before I hobble out of the break room. I make a quick stop off at the changing rooms to steal a pair of Jinyoung’s shoes before I head over to the conference room where the run-through is being held, because there’s no way I’m going to let my feet marinade in bad coffee.
The conference room is devoid of people when I arrive, but there are nibbles laid out on the table, so I take a seat and help myself. Jaebum is the next to arrive, and he, of course, enters right when I’m stuffing a whole banana muffin into my mouth. I end up double over the table in a coughing fit after trying to quickly chew and swallow the thing. Soggy chunks of muffin go splattering to the table and strings of drool hang from my open mouth. Fucking awesome.
“Easy, there. Just try to breathe through it, and have some water,” Jaebum says soothingly as he pounds on my back.
“Thanks,” I cough. After clearing the last bit of muffin from my throat, I take the bottle of water he offers me, and slowly drink it down. I don’t even want to imagine how I must look in his eyes. Jaebum must be lamenting his luck to be working with someone who is obviously too stupid to live.
“Hey, Jackson?”
“Yes?” I mumble, eyes on the table as I wipe my mouth with a napkin.
“Jackson,” Jaebum puts his hand on my shoulder and forces me to shift in my seat until I have no choice but to look up at him. He quickly glances at the clock on the far wall and the door to the room before he turns back to me. “I’m not a scary person in real life, you don’t have to be so anxious around me.”
“Anxious, me?” I bluff.
He gives me an unimpressed look. The clock strikes ten, and Jaebum throws another quick glance at the door before he continues. “Look, I don’t know if you do this sort of thing at JYP, but at my previous company we would sometimes do rehearsals for scenes that one of the actors wasn’t completely comfortable with.”
“A rehearsal?” I blink at him. I think I might know where he’s going with this, but I won’t believe it until the words actually leave his lips.
He nods. “Shooting probably won’t start until Monday. Before that, the two of us can do a rehearsal of a few scenes so you can get comfortable with me, learn not to freak out when I get in character,” he grins. In this moment, it’s so hard for me to reconcile this boyish, considerate guy with the hardboiled dominant he becomes in front of a camera.
The door opens and Boss Jinyoung walks in, the shooting crew behind him.
“Think about it and tell me after the meeting,” he lightly slaps the side of my neck, and moves to take his seat.
I might as well be absent from the meeting, because I’m so distracted by the Jaebum’s proposition, and his presence, and the tingling in the skin of my neck, and the soreness of my ass that I don’t give any contributions, meaningful or otherwise. Usually, Boss Jinyoung will have to tell me to shut up for a minute at least once in these things, but today he has to prompt me to talk. That doesn’t escape his notice, judging by the look he gives me at times.
Whatever. I can’t even think about that right now when I have to come up with an answer for Jaebum in, like, fourteen minutes. It makes sense to get the worst of my awkwardness and flubbing out of the way before shooting actually starts, save myself some of the grief Boss Jinyoung is sure to give me, but my ass is still sore. Unless it magically heals, I’ll have to tell Jaebum why he needs to take it easy. And I’d rather choke on another muffin in front of him than do that.
“Jackson, are you paying attention?”
“Uh, yeah, sure,” I blink hard to refocus my eyes.
“What’s with you today?” Boss Jinyoung shakes his head at me. “Whatever it is, deal with it by six a.m., Monday morning.”
Inwardly, I groan at the thought of having to drag myself out of bed at four in the morning, but I keep my face neutral and nod solemnly. “Yes, of course.”
“Alright, this meeting is adjourned. You have the rest of today, tomorrow, and the weekend to be at one hundred percent for shooting. Try to actually learn your lines this time,” the boss says with exasperation as he gathers his files together.
I bite back my usual retort of, ‘It’s porn, who even cares about the storyline?’ when I notice Jaebum looking at me in the corner of my eyes. “I always try, it’s my horrible memory that lets me down.”
A couple of the remaining shooting crew members snicker as they head out the door. I wait until they’re all gone before I turn to Jaebum.
“So, this rehearsal, when and where?” I ask lowly.
“We could start today,” he says simply, making my eyes widen. “We could just go through the establishing scenes, get into our characters and get familiar with saying the lines. The physical scenes aren’t scheduled to be shot until later next week, anyway.”
He’s giving me an out, one I was hoping for just a few minutes ago, one that I could take to put off a very embarrassing conversation.
I heave a sigh. “You’re going to find this out eventually, so I may as well tell you now.” Jaebum raises an eyebrow at me. “I’ve never bottomed before, and a few days ago I tried to, you know, ‘prepare myself’ for the experience. I’m still sore from that and my mind is spinning at the thought of doing it for real, especially with you.” I’m slightly winded and a bit lightheaded after getting all those skeletons out of my closet, but there’s something freeing about it too.
“Ah, I see,” Jaebum nods.
He’s biting the inside of his cheek, but that doesn’t hide the laughter in his eyes. Maybe something in my expression tells him that he’s failed in concealing his humour, because he starts to chuckle after staring at me for a few seconds. Great.
“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh at you. Really, I’m laughing at myself,” he snorts.
What???
“I wasn’t always an exclusive top when I first started out. My first few roles could accurately be summed up as ‘whipping boy’, actually.”
“No way,” I blurt out. I can’t even imagine that.
He shrugs. “The first company I joined was a tiny one that went bankrupt about three years after they launched, and I used a pseudonym back then, so that’s probably why it’s not very well-known. But nothing is truly erased from the Internet. There are probably some surviving copies of me getting reamed in a maid outfit somewhere,” he says wistfully. “Anyway, the point is that you don’t have to be ashamed of something like a lack of experience or having done embarrassing things in the course of this job.”
“Huh, well, when you put it like that, I guess I don’t feel so stupid anymore,” I rub the back of my head with a chuckle. It would be more accurate to say that I’m dizzy with relief, but that works well enough.
“So?” Jaebum holds out one hand to me, the other cocked on his hip.
I grin brightly and grab his hand. “Let’s do this.”
As we move through the halls of the JYP building, I mentally laugh at how much I was dreading this just a few days ago. I mean, sure, I’m still a bit nervous, but now it’s more like that slight bubbling in my stomach that I used to get before the start of a fencing match.
“Where are we headed?” Jaebum asks, amusement lacing his voice. I don’t know if it’s because I’m so much more visibly relaxed than I was a few minutes ago or if it’s because I’m still holding onto his hand as I lead him through the halls.
“The dorm set where we’re going to shoot our scenes. Youngjae and Bambam just finished a shoot there and no-one else will be using it until after its scheduled cleaning and redecorating this weekend.”
“That doesn’t sound very hygienic,” his amusement morphs into disgust.
“There’s a spare, untouched bed in there that we can use,” I try to reassure him. From his face, it looks like he’s having reservations, but he doesn’t try to stop me-and he damn well could, between his muscles and my handicap-so I keep going.
The window to the dorm set is broken-and has been for as long as I’ve worked at JYP-so the slightly stale air, tinged with the smell of sweat, deodorant and bodily fluids is the first thing that hits me when I open the door. Beside me, Jaebum makes a face, but he kicks the door shut and steps further inside the room. For a long second, I have no idea what to say or do, but Jaebum is way ahead of me.
“It’s not guys. It’s just…just you,” he rasps, pulling his shirt over his head.
The waver in his voice is so at odds with the methodical way that he’s stripping and folding his clothes that it takes me a moment to realise that he’s reciting lines from the script. It takes me another moment to remember what my lines are.
“Just me? Should that make me feel special?” I’m nowhere near as natural in my delivery as he is, but that’s not the point of this exercise anyway. I follow his lead and shed my own clothes.
“You’re in my thoughts all the time, even when I’m asleep. I-I imagine myself doing things with you that I never would’ve imagined doing with a guy. This is all your fault. Take responsibility!” Jaebum grabs me by the shoulders and moves me so that I’m standing in front of the spare bed, then he pushes me down.
I’m still bouncing on the bed when he climbs on top of me and seals our lips together in a searing kiss. His skin is wonderfully warm beneath my fingertips and I can taste cherry lip balm on his soft lips. He rocks his groin into mine, and shit he’s already hard. A few more grinds, and I’m right there with him.
“Oh, fuck. Are sure you, you’ve never done this with a guy before?” I pant, trying to hold onto my wits enough to stay in character.
Jaebum tilts my head until I’m staring him right in the eyes. “You’re my first,” he whispers.
I swallow hard. “Well, there’s a first time for everything,” I say with a half-hearted chuckle.
“What about you?” he asks.
“Huh?” I blink. He’s going off-script.
“Am I your first?” he breaks character slightly to raise his eyebrows in a significant way.
Ohhhhh.
“I’ve actually never gone this far with guy,” I say bashfully, hoping that Jaebum doesn’t realise how little I’m actually acting.
His entire face goes soft. “Don’t be scared, I might not know what I’m doing, but I’ll be careful. I won’t hurt you,” he lightly strokes my cheek with the pad of his thumb.
Holy shit! No wonder he’s so respected, he’s amazing. I-I mean, fuck, my heart is gonna beat out of its chest if he keeps dropping lines like that and looking at me like that and-
He closes the gap between our lips again, and slips one of his hands past the waistband of my boxers. His hand is warm and slightly rough against the skin of my cock. He jerks it hard, twisting his wrist as he goes.
“Fuck!” If he doesn’t slow down, I’m going to have to add another embarrassment to my list. He stops, leaving me shaking and shuddering.
“Hold onto me,” he whispers into my ear.
My arms feel like wet spaghetti, but I snake them around his neck and hold him as tightly as I can. He slips his arm around my waist and hauls me off the bed and into his lap so that my knees are on either side of his hips. I’m still catching my breath when I feel something warm and wet against the sensitive skin of my asshole. I hiss. He stops.
“Just keep going,” I pant.
“I told you that I won’t hurt you,” Jaebum says firmly.
“Isn’t it supposed to hurt a bit anyway?” I counter, not even trying to act anymore.
“I’m going to try something different. Tell me if you find it too weird,” Jaebum lowers me back to the bed and nudges me onto my stomach. When he slips a pillow from the next bed under my hips, I’m hit with déjà vu, or whatever it is when you actually have experienced the same thing twice.
Whereas Jinyoung used silicone plugs to loosen me up and stretch me out, Jaebum uses what feels a lot like-
“Oh my God! Is that your tongue?!” I arch up off the bed, sending Jaebum’s tongue-his tongue-deeper inside me.
“Is that alright with you?”
“It’s-it’s definitely weird, but not in a bad way, I guess,” I blink, trying to process how I feel about this. “It doesn’t hurt as much as your finger, so keep going,” I lie back down on the bed.
Jaebum spreads my ass cheeks and licks a hot, wet stripe right at my centre. Another hiss escapes me, but this one is only slightly pained. I have to admit, once the initially weirdness of having a tongue in my ass wears off, it actually feels pretty good. Before I know it, my hips start moving of their own accord, rubbing my cock against the scratchy cotton sheets. Jaebum stops the motion of my hips with his hands.
“Stay still,” he orders, using that tone I’m used to hearing from him as he mouth fucks someone until they start to gag. It sends a ripple of shock through my body, even though I know that he’s been holding back for my benefit.
I expect him to start tonguing me again, but this time he slips what feels like three fingers up my ass. Jaebum really knew what he was talking about. Even if it stings, they go in a lot easier than I ever thought three fingers could.
“That’s right, just relax,” Jaebum curls his other hand around my cock and starts stroking it again.
The slight burn of his fingers in my ass and the tightness of his hold on my cock set off a series of conflicting sensations that scramble my brain. Then he adjusts my hips and shifts his fingers and-
“Holy fucking shit!” My whole body jerks like I’ve been struck by lightning.
“Hold on, it gets even better,” Jaebum pulls out his fingers and trails them down my back.
Before I can question him, he slips the head of his cock into my hole. It’s thick, thicker than anything that he or Jinyoung has stuck up there-and it fucking hurts.
“Ah, shit,” I grit out between clenched teeth, clawing at the sheets.
“Jackson, you have to relax,” Jaebum pries open my fists and laces our fingers together.
People keep saying that, but it’s not like I’m trying to tense up and make it hurt even worse. That’s just what my body does in these kinds of situations, and I wish they’d stop making me feel like an idiot for not being to just relax on command like they apparently can.
Jaebum pulls out of me. “It’s okay, Jackson. It’s okay,” he runs his hands up and down my back.
There’s a wet spot right by my head, saliva and tears. I hold back a sniff as I discreetly rub at my eyes. Jaebum flips me onto my back. My eyes are probably red and swollen, but he doesn’t say anything. He just pulls me up into his lap so that my knees are on either side of his hips. He presses lightly on the back of my neck, tilting my head down for a kiss that’s as soft as his lips. Between his lips and his tongue and the motion of his hands against my back, he kisses the tension out of my body.
“Want to try again?” he murmurs into my mouth.
“Yeah, sure,” I sigh.
He shifts on the bed until his back rests against the wall, me still in his lap. With one hand he reaches for a bottle of lube that I hadn’t noticed until now. He dumps a whole load of it onto his cock.
“Go up on your heels for a second,” he directs me.
I follow, watching as he positions his cock, covered in a condom and liberally coated with lube, right under my asshole. Maybe it’s the change in position or angle or the extra lube, but this time around, his cock slides inside me with much less resistance.
“Ah, slowly, slowly,” I grunt, my fingers digging into the skin of his shoulders as I try to keep my balance.
“I’ve got you,” Jaebum breathes, his hands holding my hips in an iron grip.
It takes what feels like an hour, but eventually my ass comes to a stop on Jaebum’s thighs, his cock fully inside me. I slowly release the breath I didn’t realise I was holding.
“Well done,” Jaebum pecks me on the lips. “Now, sit back and enjoy the ride.”
“You’re a man after my own heart,” I chuckle weakly, wiping the sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand.
Jaebum flashes that boyish grin again. Before I can soak it in, his face gets hard with concentration and focus, and he starts to slowly roll his hips. A strangled groan falls from my lips. My ass is still sore, but his movements are hitting that sweet spot inside me, and my body has no idea if I’m truly enjoying this or not. Jaebum breaks the deadlock by wrapping his hand around my cock and sealing our lips together.
My hands grab at his hair, his shoulders, his back-any part of him that I can reach. My hips buck up into his hand, faster and faster and faster. Jaebum’s movements pick up as well, the rolling punctuated with sharp thrusts that stab me with pain and pleasure. Right now, the burn is the only thing preventing me from losing my mind altogether.
Jaebum lets go of my hips and uses his hands to push up his hips and holy shit! I’m bouncing on his cock. Fuck, it feels good! I pull away from his mouth; I can kiss and breathe at the same time anymore. Jaebum follows me, locking his lips over the pulse point in my neck and-fuck!
“Jesus!”
My body shakes and shudders and spasms, until I’m all but flailing in Jaebum’s lap. One last hip roll-thrust-hand pump-neck suck combination from him sends me over the top. I can feel the muscles in my eyes straining as they roll back in my head. My body burns like I’ve been set on fire. I lean back too far and end up sprawling back on the bed, Jaebum collapsing on top of me as his body shakes as well. My past as an athlete makes me better at catching my breath, but my chest jerks with hiccups.
“Do you always do that when you come?” Jaebum asks lazily, siting up just enough so he can rest his head in his hand as he stares down at me.
“Maybe. Wanna have a few more rehearsals and find out?” I wiggle my eyebrows at him.
Jaebum chuckles lowly in his chest, his eyes warm, and his expression soft and fond. His body radiates pleasant heat, and the musk of his deodorant envelops me. There’s nothing I’d rather do than tuck myself into his side and stay there for the rest of the day, bask in his heat and his scent. His lips twitch slightly, then he leans down and gently presses his lips to mine.
“Hic!”
Jaebum pulls away with a chuckle. “We can rehearse some more later. For now, let’s get out of here before they come to clean the room.”
“Your place or mine?” I groan, pain rippling in my lower back as I stretch.
Jaebum lightly slaps the side of my neck.