Stalling and procrastinating and stuff.
There's podfic I love, one of those sappy Char & Brie things. Anyway, the line goes: "The guy has real time-management issues." It goes on to say no he has real drink-too-much issues, and while funny, that line isn't really relevant.
Time. I have plenty. And I can't get out of bed on time, away from the tv on time, to class on time, or homework turned in on time. I feel stressed and anxious and you know what? That just makes me want to escape and I end up getting even less done.
They say the key to breaking procrastination is to figure out what you're afraid of. Well I know on this paper that was due yesterday, I'm afraid of not being right. It's been my trouble this whole semester. Everything is so subjective and theoretical, that there aren't any real right answers. I'm afraid to turn in this paper and get it back full of red marks saying, this is wrong, and this is wrong, and did you even do the reading.
That's just it. I am reading! I feel like I've got a grasp on the topic and I'm afraid that if I give my opinion, something will be fundamentally wrong with it.
Okay, there. I've identified the problem. I'm going to open the file, spin the bullshit and email it to my prof. Then I'm going to print out the notes from my other class and double check when her first paper is due. THEN if I have time I'm going to dig a little deeper into the whole new pile of bullshit I have to spin into gold for my Grant proposal. That's due in like a week. Yeah. I'm screwed.
Also my house is a freaking pit and it's driving me insane. Laundry needs to be done, I was doing so well at keeping my kitchen cleaned up, and now I've fallen behind again. I meant to do so much this weekend, but waking up and not being able to move your neck has a way of sapping all the productivity out of your body. I took yesterday off and spent the day with ice on my shoulders, then the rest of the evening cuddled up with my husband. It was a satisfying day, but it doesn't help me not be frustrated at the amount of crap I'm not getting done.
You know, I miss livejournal. There are things I don't want to talk about on Facebook and things I don't want to spam on Twitter. There's also places where I wish I could bitch about things and people without them reading it. I'm learning that isn't really an appropriate response anyway, and as Terry told me a very long time ago, the easiest way to not piss someone off or hurt their feelings is to just not put it on the internet PERIOD.
Okay.. less bitching. Good stuff? Well I went to the Clinique counter at Yonkers the week before last. All of the pretty finger nails on twitter and here on livejournal from my favorite fic ladies, has opened up the possibility that I can do something feminine and pretty for no other reason than to make myself feel pretty. I still chew my nails, I just can't get around that. And nail painting just wasn't going to work for me, but there is something else I can do.
I've never really been one to wear make up. Part of me didn't want to look like "a painted whore." Thank you very much Dean Winchester for that turn of phrase that is now stuck with me. Mostly it was my hair though. I know that sounds funny, but for so long it was thinning, flat, and I hated it. I thought, it doesn't matter how pretty I make up my face because my bald head is still right there. Probably 2 years ago or so I finally did something about that. I found a hairdresser who i love, who works with me, and who compliments me like no man has ever complimented me before. I also finally took the advice of almost everyone and invested in Nioxen shampoo. My hair is definitely better. Thicker, fuller, and with the right cut I HAPPILY style it every morning. I use a hair dryer and freaking product, everyday! So I think, since I spend that 5-10 minutes everyday doing that, I can spend 5-10 minutes putting on some make up. So with Tonia holding my hand, I headed for Clinque.
I'm getting into the habit. It's taking a bit. I have to say that the moisturizer she's been after me to wear is amazing. I can't even explain how it makes me feel better in my own skin even when I don't have any other makeup on. Okay. I've got to run. This paper isn't going to write itself.
Thanks, folks.
Time. I have plenty. And I can't get out of bed on time, away from the tv on time, to class on time, or homework turned in on time. I feel stressed and anxious and you know what? That just makes me want to escape and I end up getting even less done.
They say the key to breaking procrastination is to figure out what you're afraid of. Well I know on this paper that was due yesterday, I'm afraid of not being right. It's been my trouble this whole semester. Everything is so subjective and theoretical, that there aren't any real right answers. I'm afraid to turn in this paper and get it back full of red marks saying, this is wrong, and this is wrong, and did you even do the reading.
That's just it. I am reading! I feel like I've got a grasp on the topic and I'm afraid that if I give my opinion, something will be fundamentally wrong with it.
Okay, there. I've identified the problem. I'm going to open the file, spin the bullshit and email it to my prof. Then I'm going to print out the notes from my other class and double check when her first paper is due. THEN if I have time I'm going to dig a little deeper into the whole new pile of bullshit I have to spin into gold for my Grant proposal. That's due in like a week. Yeah. I'm screwed.
Also my house is a freaking pit and it's driving me insane. Laundry needs to be done, I was doing so well at keeping my kitchen cleaned up, and now I've fallen behind again. I meant to do so much this weekend, but waking up and not being able to move your neck has a way of sapping all the productivity out of your body. I took yesterday off and spent the day with ice on my shoulders, then the rest of the evening cuddled up with my husband. It was a satisfying day, but it doesn't help me not be frustrated at the amount of crap I'm not getting done.
You know, I miss livejournal. There are things I don't want to talk about on Facebook and things I don't want to spam on Twitter. There's also places where I wish I could bitch about things and people without them reading it. I'm learning that isn't really an appropriate response anyway, and as Terry told me a very long time ago, the easiest way to not piss someone off or hurt their feelings is to just not put it on the internet PERIOD.
Okay.. less bitching. Good stuff? Well I went to the Clinique counter at Yonkers the week before last. All of the pretty finger nails on twitter and here on livejournal from my favorite fic ladies, has opened up the possibility that I can do something feminine and pretty for no other reason than to make myself feel pretty. I still chew my nails, I just can't get around that. And nail painting just wasn't going to work for me, but there is something else I can do.
I've never really been one to wear make up. Part of me didn't want to look like "a painted whore." Thank you very much Dean Winchester for that turn of phrase that is now stuck with me. Mostly it was my hair though. I know that sounds funny, but for so long it was thinning, flat, and I hated it. I thought, it doesn't matter how pretty I make up my face because my bald head is still right there. Probably 2 years ago or so I finally did something about that. I found a hairdresser who i love, who works with me, and who compliments me like no man has ever complimented me before. I also finally took the advice of almost everyone and invested in Nioxen shampoo. My hair is definitely better. Thicker, fuller, and with the right cut I HAPPILY style it every morning. I use a hair dryer and freaking product, everyday! So I think, since I spend that 5-10 minutes everyday doing that, I can spend 5-10 minutes putting on some make up. So with Tonia holding my hand, I headed for Clinque.
I'm getting into the habit. It's taking a bit. I have to say that the moisturizer she's been after me to wear is amazing. I can't even explain how it makes me feel better in my own skin even when I don't have any other makeup on. Okay. I've got to run. This paper isn't going to write itself.
Thanks, folks.