Dog-1: Angry monkey woman- 0
It was getting pretty warm this morning and a fly had gotten into the house, so I shut the back door. I know, this is not allowed. The back door must stay open at all times for Blinkin, in case she has to pee, else face her wrath. (but I thought she was asleep on her dog bed, really) Retaliation came swiftly. A minute later, I stepped in pee at the entrance to the hallway. Ben, following close behind, slipped in it, fell hard on his behind and started crying.
Instead of taking my punishment like a woman, I stalked over to Blinkin's mat, scooped her up and put her out. She only stood there, giving me an accusatory glare as if to say, "What! I just peed in the hall. I got no more to give." So I picked up a toy shovel and banged it on the porch like an angry monkey until the dog finally ambled off into the yard, looking unimpressed as only a 16 year-old dog can.
I should start saving for a doggie door.