update

[nematoddity]

Please support if you can. Without legal protections, our relationships are viewed as invalid, and this is part of why queer rights and marriage rights are so important. Spread the word. Thirteen more days remain to pledge

Comments

[nematoddity]

Yay! Saving these all for further exploration. When I searched, over the several hours and days I searched, I turned up tons of Etsy content, but very little else. This is good!

[nematoddity]

Thank you for both. I've done the venting/poetry angle (mostly on other blogs, you've read some of it), and I've hit that point where I've thoroughly disgusted myself with how bad I'm taking this. That, combined with the current total inability to buy new clothes is making me ponder more creative solutions to problems.

But hey, anything that keeps me busy is good right now, right? Plus, now I'm pondering reconfiguring the profile, if not full-tilt diving into the archives (because several years of hell are there, and I just doooon't want to confront that right now), so that might be a good thing to do at some point, as well.

[nematoddity]

That's...kind of the problem; I still don't know if it's a big hurt or not. It's a big absence, definitely. It's a hole in my life, absolutely. But even though I'm using the terms heartbreak, and recovery, and getting through--at the end of the day I have no idea what happened, if he's alive or dead, if he just walked away with no word, and...yeah.

Lots of vague, lots of confusion, and I think that's hurting more than the actual absence. My brain is very inventive, in really, really bad ways.

[nematoddity]

Wau. I actually had to look up what an ankle fusion was, and ouch, just ouch. Also lots of sympathy--part of my struggle to move is the degenerative arthritis in both knees, so yeah, it's difficult as hell.

[laura_seabrook]

Have been trying to lose weight as well, for similar reasons. Not easy to maintain, is it?

[goblinbrodie]

Urgh. Not eating due to emotional stress is never good. I'm glad to see there are hints of hope in your post as well as pain. Be well, old friend.

[nematoddity]

Working on it. I have good days and bad days. Weirdly, digging out bits of fabric here and there and plotting out what to do with them has been neatly diverting. Though I'm at the point fairly soon where I'll need to talk to the girls about the possibility of buying me some thin elastic I can transform into something possibly resembling underwear. :)