sorry, busy confusing myself deeply

Feb 03, 2013 03:39

My spam folder. It's anendless source of merriment:

From: Isabella [sjhatqirqr@t.co]
Reply-to: sjhatqirqr [sjhatqirqr@t.co]
Date: Sat, Feb 2, 2013 at 9:12 AM
Subject: Lets Go To Party !

Hi, handsome man! How is your life?

Not a man. And okay, I guess.

You have no idea how unbearable it is to sit here all alone!

You have friends, I'm sure. Call one of them.

I dream of having sex with a stranger like you!

I'm not sure which part scares me more, the fact she wants sex with a stranger, or that she wants sex with someone like me.

I want to meet you online before seeing you in real life!

Y'know, it used to be the other way around. How times have changed...

I am dreaming to show yu my funny photos to wind you up!

I would LOVE to know the original words for this, because I'm pretty sure, no matter what country of origin "Isabella" lives in, this sounds like a radically different phrase IN that language.

You can find me any time at the hot dating site. Enter my private chat, honey!
I am waiting for you!

No.

You can find my profile here: [link redacted]

No.

With kisses,
Sophia

I thought your name was Isabella?

Then...

From: Lillian [izsaoua@t.co]
Reply-to: izsaoua [izsaoua@t.co]
Date: Sat, Feb 2, 2013 at 2:48 AM
Subject: Regards Yours Message

"Regards YOURS message"?

Hi, handsome man! How is your life?

Uh...

You have no idea how unbearable it is to sit here all alone! I dream of having sex with a stranger like you!

I have heard this before!

Then...

From: Trinity [pbevrv@t.co]
Reply-to: Molly [pbevrv@t.co]
Date: Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 3:00 AM
Subject: Hello, mighty man! How are you?

So wait, you're all using the same script now??

Same message, pretty much, with more spelling errors, but at the bottom was something interesting:

To not receive this message again, visit the page below:
[link redacted as I'm NEVER clicking it]

or write to:

Nautell Capital Limited, Stasinou, 1 Mitsi Building 1, 1st floor, Office 4 Plateia Eleftherias, Nicosia Cyprus 1060

Is that their actual business office? Seriously??

Then...

From: Olivia [ylqewpawb@t.co]
Reply-to: ylqewpawb [ylqewpawb@t.co]
Date: Wed, Jan 30, 2013 at 10:49 PM
Subject: Meet a girl right now

Here we go again.

Hi, handsome man! How is your life?

Yeah yeah yeah...but I read 'til the end, and discovered this:

With kisses,
Emma

So...each of these are from one female name, are signed with another...WTF?

Going through my folder, I also heard from Chloe/Mia, Emily/Ava, Alexis/Hannah, Kennedy/Melanie, Ariana/Alexandra/Eva (ooh! Three names in one email!), Brooklyn/Teresa, Aubrey/Sofia (another triple!), Genesis/Alexandra/Andrea, Bailey/Caroline, Melanie/Brooke, Amelia/Leah, Lucy/Alexandra/Faith (wait, so the triple names only happen with Alexandra?), Scarlet/Madelyn, Zoey/Charlotte, and a second one from Kennedy/Melanie.

And all of them were the same basic text, with only a few variations. Frankly, I liked it better when they just threw word salad at me...

confusion, spamspamspamspam, wtf, spam

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