Ghost Story
Title: Ghost Story
Author: Nemesis (Nems)
Pairing: House/Wilson
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Summary: The interns have been cautioned about going near Dr. House, but one more... adventurous one tries anyway. Well. Lucky for him Wilson's around.
Disclaimer: Oh, come on. Does anyone actually bother reading this? Hoping for some amusement, perhaps? The real amusement is beyond the lj-cut. I thought up lovely stuff for you to read beyond there, and you're reading this drivel instead.
A/N: Another fic, written for my lovely, wonderful, extremely patient wife who manages not to roll her eyes (at least, I think so) when I declare to her happily on IM that I've written another fic. And that I want her to take a look at it. And then that I want a review. Anyway. Patient. And she still reads these, even though she wants longfic, which I AM working on. Right. Rambling. Still. I'm shutting up now. So much easier.
REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY AND KEEP ME WRITING, SO IF YOU LIKE AND WANT MORE FIC, CLICK ON THE 'POST A COMMENT' OR WHATEVER THE EQUIVALENT IS, OKAY? Favorite lines are much appreciated :D Especially since I don't know what others find funny or good.
Brenda handed Nick a list. “Department Heads,” she informed him. “You’re going to have to deal with them all at some point or another. Case referrals go directly to Department Heads, so you’ll be talking to them quite a lot. They’re all pretty helpful, but I’d suggest not consciously wasting their time. Make sure that you really do know that you need to go to them.”
Nick, the newest intern, nodded and added the list to his pile of papers.
“Oh wait. Check the list under Diagnostics. Is there a tick mark there?”
Nick checked. “No. Should there be?”
Brenda nodded. “Hand me that.” She put an ‘x’ next to Diagnostics. “That’s Dr. House’s department. No one refers cases directly to Dr. House.”
Nick nodded. “Which one’s Dr. House?”
“The one with a cane, no lab coat, and the nastiest wit you can imagine.”
Nick noted it.
“Best piece of advice I can give to you: Stay away from Dr. House. No need to subject yourself to him.”
“Okay.”
***
“Met any doctors yet?” Dr. Bergin asked. Bergin was his advisor.
“Just you and some of the other surgeons.”
“I take it Brenda gave you a list of Department Heads already?”
“Yes.”
“She did tell you about staying away from Dr. House already, I hope?”
“Yes, yes, she warned me.”
Bergin turned to Nick. “Look, there are times when you’re going to have to deal with him. Not now, you’re not a big name yet and I really doubt he’d trust you enough not to screw up. He barely trusts the experienced surgeons. But unless it’s inevitable, stay well away from Dr. House. The man’s got a nasty temper, a long memory, and a penchant for revenge and mischief. He knows exactly what to say when to cause maximum humiliation, and he enjoys doing it.”
“Well, I just won’t anger him then.”
“Oh, no. You see, you can’t predict what will set him off. And he likes being pointlessly nasty. I’ve seen interns crying after talking to him. Don’t. Go. Near. Him.”
“Okay, okay.”
***
“Hello, I’m Dr. Lisa Cuddy, Dean of Medicine here. I’m glad you got a chance to stop by. All interns are required to at some point or another, as you know, to make sure you know the ropes. Before you do something stupid, that is.”
Nick nodded.
“Have a seat,” Cuddy offered, and Nick gratefully sat down on the couch. Cuddy took a seat opposite him.
“Brenda should have already given you a list of Department Heads. There are a few who won’t get involved unless you can prove it’s their specialty - cardiology, for example. They expect you to run the heart tests before handing it over, or at least, asking a member of the cardiology department to help you with that. There are a few who will get involved if there’s the slightest suspicion of their specialty - oncology, for example. You think cancer, go straight to Dr. Wilson, and he’ll arrange for the tests. Actually, you really should go there first, because Dr. Wilson gets very upset if he’s not the one to find it’s cancer. Or if it’s not his department. He cares a lot about his patients, and the oncologists have all perfected telling patients they have cancer. Most of the rest will get involved if it’s pretty clear it might be their specialty but you don’t have definite proof.”
Nick took frantic notes next to the Department Head names.
“And then, of course, there’s Dr. House. I take it you’ve already heard from quite a few people to stay away from him.”
Nick nodded and prepared to cross that off as idle rumor and professional jealousy.
“Well, then, I’m going to tell you something very, very firmly: Stay away from Dr. House.”
Nick stared at her, shocked.
Cuddy sighed and turned her head towards the door suddenly. “You should leave unless you really really want to meet Dr. House.”
Nick stood and gathered his papers. He left just as House entered.
***
Over the following six months, Nick heard from at least three dozen people not to go near Dr. House. It was starting to sound like an urban legend or a ghost story. If he hadn’t seen House limping furiously into Cuddy’s office, he would’ve thought it was just a story people told to scare interns.
He entered Exam Room Two and put on his best good-doctor smile. “Hello, Mrs. Barker, what seems to be the trouble today?”
He had spent six months blindly diagnosing clinic patients with colds, sniffles, and allergies.
He smiled slightly before schooling his face into the good-doctor concerned look. “Mrs. Barker, I’m going to have to admit you, since it is unclear at this time what the cause of your trouble may be.”
She nodded and Nick went to the nurses to have them admit her.
Nick smiled. This was a case for Dr. House. Time to go find him.
***
He easily found the Diagnostics Department’s Office. He walked in and found two men sitting there. One of them was sipping coffee and drumming his fingers against the glass table. The other was filling out a crossword and, every so often, giving the clue and asking what word could fit.
There was an empty whiteboard and an office off the main conference room.
Nick opened the glass door.
“Er… I’m looking for Dr. House.”
The two men shared a look, the meaning of which Nick couldn’t decipher, and said, “He’s probably got Clinic duty now, which means you should be looking in Room 2134.”
Nick blinked. “That makes no sense.”
They smiled slightly. “Trust us. He’ll be in Room 2134.”
“Okay, okay.” Nick left. Outside the door of Room 2134, he bumped into another doctor, judging by the lab coat.
“Oh, sorry!” Nick exclaimed.
“You’re an intern, right?”
Nick nodded. “Nick Redding.”
“Dr. James Wilson,” the doctor introduced himself, shaking his hand. “The coma patient doesn’t require much medical attention beyond keeping him alive. They don’t assign that to interns…”
“Well, actually, er, they told me that I could find Dr. House here.”
“Who did?”
“I don’t know. I went into the Diagnostics and they told me to come here.”
“How many of them were there and what did they look like?”
“Two men. One was…”
“Never mind, I know who they are. Why are you looking for Dr. House?”
“I have a case that I think he’ll like.”
Wilson sighed heavily. “Didn’t anyone tell you yet that no one refers cases to Dr. House directly? It’s a waste of time. He’ll immediately shoot you down.”
“But this woman needs help.”
“Let me see the file.”
Nick handed Wilson the file. Wilson opened it and scanned it deftly. “He’ll even like this one. C’mon. He’s getting a case.”
“Wait. Can you answer one thing?”
Wilson turned to Nick. “What?”
“They said he has Clinic duty. Why is he in Room 2134 then? Is he treating the coma patient?”
“No, he’s hiding from Cuddy so that she can’t make him do Clinic duty.”
Wilson opened the door and entered Room 2134. Nick followed him, hovering in the doorway.
“Ah, my friend Jimmy has come to rescue me from certain boredom. I take it Cuddy has given up?”
“No, but I have an idea on how to make her give up.”
House smiled. “Fucking you on her desk?”
“Definitely not,” Wilson answered, a current of sensual interest in his tone nonetheless. “A case. You can claim that you have an urgent case now.”
House waved his hand dismissively. “I think fucking you on Cuddy’s desk is way cooler. She won’t bother me after that.” He sat up straighter, a mischievous gleam coming into his eye. “Let’s break in there one day after she leaves and do that.”
“No!” Wilson answered immediately. “It’s bad for your leg, anyway. At home, okay?”
House pouted. “Oh, well, might as well see this case.”
“You’ll like this one,” Wilson smiled, handing over the file. House grumbled and opened the file.
“Boring,” he said, handing the file back.
“Then what’s wrong with her?” Wilson asked.
“Er… doctor incompetence.”
Wilson handed him the file. “Figure it out, Greg. And it keeps Cuddy off your back.”
House smiled slightly at him. He noticed Nick and scowled. “Who is that?”
“The poor intern that nearly brought you this case.”
House’s scowl deepened. “How did he know where I was?”
“Foreman and Chase. Apparently, without Cameron there to admonish them to be nice, they decided to play a little game with the new kid.”
House’s face unexpectedly broke out into a smile. “I should give them a raise. They’ve clearly learned so much from me.”
Wilson chuckled. “I take it you’re leaving at five?”
“Unless my patient is…”
“I know, I know. I’ll be by at five.”
“There’s a General Hospital marathon tonight,” House grinned.
“No. I can put up with it during the day, but we are not watching hours of General Hospital. How about a decent movie?”
“Get Ocean’s 73.”
“They’re not up there yet. It’s only Ocean’s 12 that came out.”
“Well, get that then. Elaborate heist movies make me horny.” House grabbed his cane and stood up with standard difficulty. “Off to save some dying man’s life.”
“Woman,” Nick corrected immediately before Wilson could shush him.
House ignored him in a fit of benevolence and limped off towards his office.
“Next time you have a case for Dr. House, run it by me first,” Wilson said, clapping Nick on the shoulder. “Greg rarely turns me down.”
He walked off in the same direction as House, whistling cheerfully. Nick stared at his back, his mouth open in shock.
-- End.
Author: Nemesis (Nems)
Pairing: House/Wilson
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Summary: The interns have been cautioned about going near Dr. House, but one more... adventurous one tries anyway. Well. Lucky for him Wilson's around.
Disclaimer: Oh, come on. Does anyone actually bother reading this? Hoping for some amusement, perhaps? The real amusement is beyond the lj-cut. I thought up lovely stuff for you to read beyond there, and you're reading this drivel instead.
A/N: Another fic, written for my lovely, wonderful, extremely patient wife who manages not to roll her eyes (at least, I think so) when I declare to her happily on IM that I've written another fic. And that I want her to take a look at it. And then that I want a review. Anyway. Patient. And she still reads these, even though she wants longfic, which I AM working on. Right. Rambling. Still. I'm shutting up now. So much easier.
REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY AND KEEP ME WRITING, SO IF YOU LIKE AND WANT MORE FIC, CLICK ON THE 'POST A COMMENT' OR WHATEVER THE EQUIVALENT IS, OKAY? Favorite lines are much appreciated :D Especially since I don't know what others find funny or good.
Brenda handed Nick a list. “Department Heads,” she informed him. “You’re going to have to deal with them all at some point or another. Case referrals go directly to Department Heads, so you’ll be talking to them quite a lot. They’re all pretty helpful, but I’d suggest not consciously wasting their time. Make sure that you really do know that you need to go to them.”
Nick, the newest intern, nodded and added the list to his pile of papers.
“Oh wait. Check the list under Diagnostics. Is there a tick mark there?”
Nick checked. “No. Should there be?”
Brenda nodded. “Hand me that.” She put an ‘x’ next to Diagnostics. “That’s Dr. House’s department. No one refers cases directly to Dr. House.”
Nick nodded. “Which one’s Dr. House?”
“The one with a cane, no lab coat, and the nastiest wit you can imagine.”
Nick noted it.
“Best piece of advice I can give to you: Stay away from Dr. House. No need to subject yourself to him.”
“Okay.”
***
“Met any doctors yet?” Dr. Bergin asked. Bergin was his advisor.
“Just you and some of the other surgeons.”
“I take it Brenda gave you a list of Department Heads already?”
“Yes.”
“She did tell you about staying away from Dr. House already, I hope?”
“Yes, yes, she warned me.”
Bergin turned to Nick. “Look, there are times when you’re going to have to deal with him. Not now, you’re not a big name yet and I really doubt he’d trust you enough not to screw up. He barely trusts the experienced surgeons. But unless it’s inevitable, stay well away from Dr. House. The man’s got a nasty temper, a long memory, and a penchant for revenge and mischief. He knows exactly what to say when to cause maximum humiliation, and he enjoys doing it.”
“Well, I just won’t anger him then.”
“Oh, no. You see, you can’t predict what will set him off. And he likes being pointlessly nasty. I’ve seen interns crying after talking to him. Don’t. Go. Near. Him.”
“Okay, okay.”
***
“Hello, I’m Dr. Lisa Cuddy, Dean of Medicine here. I’m glad you got a chance to stop by. All interns are required to at some point or another, as you know, to make sure you know the ropes. Before you do something stupid, that is.”
Nick nodded.
“Have a seat,” Cuddy offered, and Nick gratefully sat down on the couch. Cuddy took a seat opposite him.
“Brenda should have already given you a list of Department Heads. There are a few who won’t get involved unless you can prove it’s their specialty - cardiology, for example. They expect you to run the heart tests before handing it over, or at least, asking a member of the cardiology department to help you with that. There are a few who will get involved if there’s the slightest suspicion of their specialty - oncology, for example. You think cancer, go straight to Dr. Wilson, and he’ll arrange for the tests. Actually, you really should go there first, because Dr. Wilson gets very upset if he’s not the one to find it’s cancer. Or if it’s not his department. He cares a lot about his patients, and the oncologists have all perfected telling patients they have cancer. Most of the rest will get involved if it’s pretty clear it might be their specialty but you don’t have definite proof.”
Nick took frantic notes next to the Department Head names.
“And then, of course, there’s Dr. House. I take it you’ve already heard from quite a few people to stay away from him.”
Nick nodded and prepared to cross that off as idle rumor and professional jealousy.
“Well, then, I’m going to tell you something very, very firmly: Stay away from Dr. House.”
Nick stared at her, shocked.
Cuddy sighed and turned her head towards the door suddenly. “You should leave unless you really really want to meet Dr. House.”
Nick stood and gathered his papers. He left just as House entered.
***
Over the following six months, Nick heard from at least three dozen people not to go near Dr. House. It was starting to sound like an urban legend or a ghost story. If he hadn’t seen House limping furiously into Cuddy’s office, he would’ve thought it was just a story people told to scare interns.
He entered Exam Room Two and put on his best good-doctor smile. “Hello, Mrs. Barker, what seems to be the trouble today?”
He had spent six months blindly diagnosing clinic patients with colds, sniffles, and allergies.
He smiled slightly before schooling his face into the good-doctor concerned look. “Mrs. Barker, I’m going to have to admit you, since it is unclear at this time what the cause of your trouble may be.”
She nodded and Nick went to the nurses to have them admit her.
Nick smiled. This was a case for Dr. House. Time to go find him.
***
He easily found the Diagnostics Department’s Office. He walked in and found two men sitting there. One of them was sipping coffee and drumming his fingers against the glass table. The other was filling out a crossword and, every so often, giving the clue and asking what word could fit.
There was an empty whiteboard and an office off the main conference room.
Nick opened the glass door.
“Er… I’m looking for Dr. House.”
The two men shared a look, the meaning of which Nick couldn’t decipher, and said, “He’s probably got Clinic duty now, which means you should be looking in Room 2134.”
Nick blinked. “That makes no sense.”
They smiled slightly. “Trust us. He’ll be in Room 2134.”
“Okay, okay.” Nick left. Outside the door of Room 2134, he bumped into another doctor, judging by the lab coat.
“Oh, sorry!” Nick exclaimed.
“You’re an intern, right?”
Nick nodded. “Nick Redding.”
“Dr. James Wilson,” the doctor introduced himself, shaking his hand. “The coma patient doesn’t require much medical attention beyond keeping him alive. They don’t assign that to interns…”
“Well, actually, er, they told me that I could find Dr. House here.”
“Who did?”
“I don’t know. I went into the Diagnostics and they told me to come here.”
“How many of them were there and what did they look like?”
“Two men. One was…”
“Never mind, I know who they are. Why are you looking for Dr. House?”
“I have a case that I think he’ll like.”
Wilson sighed heavily. “Didn’t anyone tell you yet that no one refers cases to Dr. House directly? It’s a waste of time. He’ll immediately shoot you down.”
“But this woman needs help.”
“Let me see the file.”
Nick handed Wilson the file. Wilson opened it and scanned it deftly. “He’ll even like this one. C’mon. He’s getting a case.”
“Wait. Can you answer one thing?”
Wilson turned to Nick. “What?”
“They said he has Clinic duty. Why is he in Room 2134 then? Is he treating the coma patient?”
“No, he’s hiding from Cuddy so that she can’t make him do Clinic duty.”
Wilson opened the door and entered Room 2134. Nick followed him, hovering in the doorway.
“Ah, my friend Jimmy has come to rescue me from certain boredom. I take it Cuddy has given up?”
“No, but I have an idea on how to make her give up.”
House smiled. “Fucking you on her desk?”
“Definitely not,” Wilson answered, a current of sensual interest in his tone nonetheless. “A case. You can claim that you have an urgent case now.”
House waved his hand dismissively. “I think fucking you on Cuddy’s desk is way cooler. She won’t bother me after that.” He sat up straighter, a mischievous gleam coming into his eye. “Let’s break in there one day after she leaves and do that.”
“No!” Wilson answered immediately. “It’s bad for your leg, anyway. At home, okay?”
House pouted. “Oh, well, might as well see this case.”
“You’ll like this one,” Wilson smiled, handing over the file. House grumbled and opened the file.
“Boring,” he said, handing the file back.
“Then what’s wrong with her?” Wilson asked.
“Er… doctor incompetence.”
Wilson handed him the file. “Figure it out, Greg. And it keeps Cuddy off your back.”
House smiled slightly at him. He noticed Nick and scowled. “Who is that?”
“The poor intern that nearly brought you this case.”
House’s scowl deepened. “How did he know where I was?”
“Foreman and Chase. Apparently, without Cameron there to admonish them to be nice, they decided to play a little game with the new kid.”
House’s face unexpectedly broke out into a smile. “I should give them a raise. They’ve clearly learned so much from me.”
Wilson chuckled. “I take it you’re leaving at five?”
“Unless my patient is…”
“I know, I know. I’ll be by at five.”
“There’s a General Hospital marathon tonight,” House grinned.
“No. I can put up with it during the day, but we are not watching hours of General Hospital. How about a decent movie?”
“Get Ocean’s 73.”
“They’re not up there yet. It’s only Ocean’s 12 that came out.”
“Well, get that then. Elaborate heist movies make me horny.” House grabbed his cane and stood up with standard difficulty. “Off to save some dying man’s life.”
“Woman,” Nick corrected immediately before Wilson could shush him.
House ignored him in a fit of benevolence and limped off towards his office.
“Next time you have a case for Dr. House, run it by me first,” Wilson said, clapping Nick on the shoulder. “Greg rarely turns me down.”
He walked off in the same direction as House, whistling cheerfully. Nick stared at his back, his mouth open in shock.
-- End.