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[nemo_neminem]

Christ, I really am turning into a zombie. Rohypnol is knocking me dead but not in a good way - i.e. I can still stay awake for a day or so & then fall asleep for twenty hours straight, like I did yesterday (waking up at approximately 6 pm), with the result that I was unable to sleep a wink all night. This is driving me crazy

Comments

[cicerothewriter]

Oh, god, hon. I didn't realize how bad it was and that you were taking rohypnol. *lots of hugs*

I hope you do post every so often, just so we know you're around. I hope you get to feeling better soon, and the mayhem ends.

I'll miss you, my French teacher and friend. :0(

[nemo_neminem]

*hugs back*

I didn't really see it coming. I thought I was doing great in view of the circumstances, but if I'm honest things started to really go down hill back in March/April, with my finals. London was just a nice little break & wasn't much help in the end.

Still, I wonder what triggered the whole fuck-up. Going back home, probably, and realising that there probably wouldn't be a painless way out.

[cicerothewriter]

Well, I think you were doing fine, but there's only so much a person can take. Everyone has a limit no matter how well they cope.

That sounds like it. *more hugs*

[soul_bonnie]

Jesus, why am I only seeing this now?

That sounds really bad. I hope this doesn't come across as patronizing, it's just that I really worry about you. A lot. And if I wasn't so worried about you, I'd feel insulted. As if I would just shrug and carry on with my life when I know you're not well.

So yes, a small note every now and then would be good... I hope this is just a phase and you'll feel better soon. *hugs*

[nemo_neminem]

Haha, not a problem. I'm not that desperate for attention ^_^

No, no, this certainly doesn't come across as patronising; it's extremely kind of you, & I feel very honoured to be your friend though it's not much fun at the moment.

That's what I keep telling myself: it's just a fucking phase. Looking back, I think something of the sort was bound to happen at some point; there's a limit to what I can take & it's been overstepped months ago. What I hate about the whole depression thing is that when it really gets to you, you are pretty, pretty fucked up.

Insomnia leads to meds, whether you like it or not, but in my case said meds lead to a freestyle alternation between more insomnia & hypersomnia. Cue major zombieness & weird feelings of self-dispossession.

Ah well. It's a little less bad than a few days ago, which is already an improvement *hugs back*

[soul_bonnie]

You're getting it anyway. ;p

Well, it can't be all fun and games and Nazi jokes. But that's normal and that's okay.

Yeah, I suppose it was just too much there. The finals were already immensely stressful and then that whole shit with your little sister... You would have to be superhuman to get out of that unharmed.

O_o Do all meds do that? Aren't there any pills "now with less zombie" or something? Because it sounds like even insomnia would be preferable to this.

True. Maybe you're starting to get out of the woods...?