Drunks on Ice
It happened again...it snuck up on me all unexpected like. There was no stopping it from happening, and once it began, there was no slowing it down. I went out and got drunk with littledykelette Saturday night >_<. I didn't meant to I swear (I do NOT however swear that it will never happen again...it was too much fun to never do it again). It started innocently enough (of cource). We missed our usual Saturday morning brunch fest and random wadering as it was the day of TheKid's birthday (great time had by all, photos to come of the cake and chaos) so she asked if I wanted to meet her for drinks after she was done work. At that point I needed a drink and the company of an adult for a while. TheKid had gone off to her mom's house for a sleepover with a couple of her sugar high squeeling friends and I was free the entire night. As we were to meet after her shift at a local bar (she works two jobs to save for school...and to keep herself from drinking her savings away...the latter with some success) I figured that she would not want to get blitzed, as she would be tired and want to get to bed soon...I could not have been more wrong. She was half cut by the time I picked her up. Not to say I had not had a couple as soon as I got home, but she was more into the bag than I was at the meeting point. Apparently during the nights there are events being held at her work, she and the others there close things down and start to drink...and drink....and drink.
I knew it was going to be one of those nights when I suggested The Black Knight (a respectable pub...as pubs go...) and she said "NO!! We are going to The Raven"
There is a really seady bar in Yellowknife called The Gold Range, aka the "Strange Range", it's one of those bars where you don't look too closely into the shadows for fear of getting a glimps of what is staring back at you...they nailed towels to the tables to avoid having to whipe up any spills, and if someone says duck, you fucking well listen or get an earfull of beer. The Raven is the Strange Range for the younger generation and just down the street from it to boot, so you get a lot of the same clientelle. (On an odd side note this is also where some of the more chic stores are located...in between these two bars.)
This is the point where I knew we were in for it. We got there, got to drinking, and I remember saying aloud "What is it about bars that gets me drunk?". I think this is when things get blury. There were many trips to bathrooms, many times where I sat up rigid when someone got too close to her (not that I'm over protective, I was just looking for a fight for some reason, and any excuse would do) and many ladies checked out. At about midnightish (it was hard to tell the time as everything was swiming slightly) we decided that food would be a good thing. We both knew that we would have to act sober to get into any place where we had any chance of getting any food. This is about where I started going on about "the rules" and how we had broken them completely. "One of us shouldstof stayed soberesk to be able to get us into places for things" was the exact quote I believe. We wandered a block in a crooked sort of way to Boston Pizza, where we found out that it was actually an hour later than what we thought it was and they had in fact closed down for the evening. Off we went again to Bruno's. We started off in the exact wrong direction and happened to wander past a house that most of our mutual friends used to live in...pretty much all at the same time. It was a party house of cource. There were many things hidden in those walls, many things left rotting in the fridge when the power was finaly turned off and every one evacuated, and when we miandered past, there was a couple having passionate and loving sex on the kitchen counter. We were in awe..and slight discust at remembering the state of the place when last we were in there. I think after a while of just standing there whispering "how lovely and cute" and all that crap I yelled loudly "DON'T DO THAT THERE YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT COUNTER HAS BEEN" and was promptly dragged off laughing. (slid away mainly as all this happend on ice..."Drunks On Ice".. it would make Disney millions").
Half way to the next destination, littledykelette announced that she had to pee...again. (She has the bladder of a diabetic 3 year old in a snow suit on a long car trip). One time previous when we had one of our little outings (on her Birthday in fact) she and I wound up drunkenly wandering everywhere, and she, of course had to pee, and as there was no readily available means of riding herself of this burden, we chose a steady (and hidden) looking dumpster for her to squat behind...and the receipts I keep in my wallet, well lets just say they got put to good use. This time around we wandered into the same alley (not purposefully mind you...just...drunkenly) and she was able to relieve herself in relative peace. You have to remember that it is winterish still here, and she was kneeling slightly in a snow bank with her sensitive ass against a very chilly metal dumpster. Quite the ordeal i have to say. We were able to finally figure out where we were, and where Bruno's was and make the two places match up somehow, and found out that it had been a half an hour (usually a 5 min walk) since we left Boston Pizza. We also found out that Bruno's had, in fact, closed it's kitchen for the evening. It had become clear (or in this case acknowledged, if fuzzy) that if we were to get any food that night, it would have to be at Corner Mart.... the place right beside the bar we had left nearly an hour ago. Getting back was more of a hassle then we had originally expected. We did not retrace our steps, mainly because we had come the wrong way, but also because we were still quite shit-faced. Somehow we arrived into a construction site of sorts...and there were thoughts of playing with equipment that was left on, but for fear of blowing up we decided against it.
This is the point where we ran into another obstacle. The alley we wandered into had recently been fenced off at the usual exit. littledykelette was heard to exclaim "those fencing bastards!!" We ran into more trouble at the end of this so far blocked alleyway. There was a hill, no..not hill.. MOUNT EVEREST!!! We tried to divert our stumbling away from the mountain, but it was not to be. We slowly made our way up, and with each step littledykelette gradually got closer and closer to the ground. Finally as we reached the peak she hit ground, legs and arms flailing, she shouted "go on without me, save yourself!!" It was at this point where we realised that there were steps going up along side the hill for the normal (read: not drunk) people to make their way up and down the "mountain".
We finally made it to Corner Mart where we met up with a friend of hers from work, and had some questionable food. We didn't bother questioning it, as we knew that we had already done the worst we could do to ourselves, and anything we added now was just extra colour for the morning after.
The evening ended well enough with me going online, announcing in several places that I was in fact quite drunk and demanding that people pay attention to me, getting no real response, and then passing out in bed after setting my alarm for 11am to join littledykelette in Sunday Brunch.
Morning after: I was rattled out of slumber, yelling "OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE" to the sound of an tornado warning system mixed with someone drilling into the side of my house right above my head. Shortly after I remembered that we don't get tornadoes in Yellowknife and therefore we would not need a warning system, and asked TheHubby to shut off the alarm while I answer my cell phone which was vibrating against the window above me. littledykelette has impeccable timing when it comes to wake-up calls >_<.
Side Note: I think I got in a fight with something that night...My knuckles and wrist are bruised O_o.
Fun Quotes:
"Oh on it's a lake!! We'll have to portage it!!"
"What is it about bars that get me drunk?"
"Save yourself! Go on without me!"
"It's fenced...they fenced it...those fencing bastards!"
"Ooohhhh, that bit of equipment is still turned on...let's play!"
"No no, we can't do that in this state, we'll blow up"
"We broke the rules!! There are rules!! And we broke them!! One of us has to stay soberesk to get into places for things!!"
"This tastes oddly like pork" "that would be because it is pork" "It tastes of baccon though...I'm confused"
"Those stairs don't have a bit at the top for us to get out of..we will be stuck forever. We will never get out... we will die there...and never get our food!"
"Didn't we pee here before?"
"I think I'm falling over." "I'm falling in the opposite direction, so it's ok. We are more leaning now" "Oh ok, leaning is ok then"
I knew it was going to be one of those nights when I suggested The Black Knight (a respectable pub...as pubs go...) and she said "NO!! We are going to The Raven"
There is a really seady bar in Yellowknife called The Gold Range, aka the "Strange Range", it's one of those bars where you don't look too closely into the shadows for fear of getting a glimps of what is staring back at you...they nailed towels to the tables to avoid having to whipe up any spills, and if someone says duck, you fucking well listen or get an earfull of beer. The Raven is the Strange Range for the younger generation and just down the street from it to boot, so you get a lot of the same clientelle. (On an odd side note this is also where some of the more chic stores are located...in between these two bars.)
This is the point where I knew we were in for it. We got there, got to drinking, and I remember saying aloud "What is it about bars that gets me drunk?". I think this is when things get blury. There were many trips to bathrooms, many times where I sat up rigid when someone got too close to her (not that I'm over protective, I was just looking for a fight for some reason, and any excuse would do) and many ladies checked out. At about midnightish (it was hard to tell the time as everything was swiming slightly) we decided that food would be a good thing. We both knew that we would have to act sober to get into any place where we had any chance of getting any food. This is about where I started going on about "the rules" and how we had broken them completely. "One of us shouldstof stayed soberesk to be able to get us into places for things" was the exact quote I believe. We wandered a block in a crooked sort of way to Boston Pizza, where we found out that it was actually an hour later than what we thought it was and they had in fact closed down for the evening. Off we went again to Bruno's. We started off in the exact wrong direction and happened to wander past a house that most of our mutual friends used to live in...pretty much all at the same time. It was a party house of cource. There were many things hidden in those walls, many things left rotting in the fridge when the power was finaly turned off and every one evacuated, and when we miandered past, there was a couple having passionate and loving sex on the kitchen counter. We were in awe..and slight discust at remembering the state of the place when last we were in there. I think after a while of just standing there whispering "how lovely and cute" and all that crap I yelled loudly "DON'T DO THAT THERE YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT COUNTER HAS BEEN" and was promptly dragged off laughing. (slid away mainly as all this happend on ice..."Drunks On Ice".. it would make Disney millions").
Half way to the next destination, littledykelette announced that she had to pee...again. (She has the bladder of a diabetic 3 year old in a snow suit on a long car trip). One time previous when we had one of our little outings (on her Birthday in fact) she and I wound up drunkenly wandering everywhere, and she, of course had to pee, and as there was no readily available means of riding herself of this burden, we chose a steady (and hidden) looking dumpster for her to squat behind...and the receipts I keep in my wallet, well lets just say they got put to good use. This time around we wandered into the same alley (not purposefully mind you...just...drunkenly) and she was able to relieve herself in relative peace. You have to remember that it is winterish still here, and she was kneeling slightly in a snow bank with her sensitive ass against a very chilly metal dumpster. Quite the ordeal i have to say. We were able to finally figure out where we were, and where Bruno's was and make the two places match up somehow, and found out that it had been a half an hour (usually a 5 min walk) since we left Boston Pizza. We also found out that Bruno's had, in fact, closed it's kitchen for the evening. It had become clear (or in this case acknowledged, if fuzzy) that if we were to get any food that night, it would have to be at Corner Mart.... the place right beside the bar we had left nearly an hour ago. Getting back was more of a hassle then we had originally expected. We did not retrace our steps, mainly because we had come the wrong way, but also because we were still quite shit-faced. Somehow we arrived into a construction site of sorts...and there were thoughts of playing with equipment that was left on, but for fear of blowing up we decided against it.
This is the point where we ran into another obstacle. The alley we wandered into had recently been fenced off at the usual exit. littledykelette was heard to exclaim "those fencing bastards!!" We ran into more trouble at the end of this so far blocked alleyway. There was a hill, no..not hill.. MOUNT EVEREST!!! We tried to divert our stumbling away from the mountain, but it was not to be. We slowly made our way up, and with each step littledykelette gradually got closer and closer to the ground. Finally as we reached the peak she hit ground, legs and arms flailing, she shouted "go on without me, save yourself!!" It was at this point where we realised that there were steps going up along side the hill for the normal (read: not drunk) people to make their way up and down the "mountain".
We finally made it to Corner Mart where we met up with a friend of hers from work, and had some questionable food. We didn't bother questioning it, as we knew that we had already done the worst we could do to ourselves, and anything we added now was just extra colour for the morning after.
The evening ended well enough with me going online, announcing in several places that I was in fact quite drunk and demanding that people pay attention to me, getting no real response, and then passing out in bed after setting my alarm for 11am to join littledykelette in Sunday Brunch.
Morning after: I was rattled out of slumber, yelling "OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE" to the sound of an tornado warning system mixed with someone drilling into the side of my house right above my head. Shortly after I remembered that we don't get tornadoes in Yellowknife and therefore we would not need a warning system, and asked TheHubby to shut off the alarm while I answer my cell phone which was vibrating against the window above me. littledykelette has impeccable timing when it comes to wake-up calls >_<.
Side Note: I think I got in a fight with something that night...My knuckles and wrist are bruised O_o.
Fun Quotes:
"Oh on it's a lake!! We'll have to portage it!!"
"What is it about bars that get me drunk?"
"Save yourself! Go on without me!"
"It's fenced...they fenced it...those fencing bastards!"
"Ooohhhh, that bit of equipment is still turned on...let's play!"
"No no, we can't do that in this state, we'll blow up"
"We broke the rules!! There are rules!! And we broke them!! One of us has to stay soberesk to get into places for things!!"
"This tastes oddly like pork" "that would be because it is pork" "It tastes of baccon though...I'm confused"
"Those stairs don't have a bit at the top for us to get out of..we will be stuck forever. We will never get out... we will die there...and never get our food!"
"Didn't we pee here before?"
"I think I'm falling over." "I'm falling in the opposite direction, so it's ok. We are more leaning now" "Oh ok, leaning is ok then"