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what the fuck am i doing here
Ugh, I am so overwhelmed and disgusted with my life right now. I've been doing too much laying around, too much smoking pot, too much watching tv and just spacing out, not even thinking but just blank, a blank page, a nothing. I just was so overwhelmed that I got to the point where I actually was going to look for jobs/internships, WOW, but then I ( Read more... ) -
so, it has come to this.
Well, I graduated! I knew I would make it eventually, but it still feels so weird. What can I even say? This is the first day of "the rest of my life" and things aren't any different. Things are just weirder and a little sadder and a little darker and moodier and scarier ( Read more... ) -
i swear this could have been from me to nate
Come on, skinny love, just last the year,
pour a little salt, we were never here.
I tell my love to wreck it all,
cut all the ropes and let me fall,
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my.
Right in this moment this order's tall.
I told you to be patient,
I told you to be fine,
and I told you to be balanced,
and I told you to be kind.
In the morning I'll be with you
( Read more... ) -
procrastination nation
I just keep thinking about those eyes,
looking at me from across the pillow.
In my mind, every moment is a scene from a movie that we can really only watch once.
The end of the year catapults toward us
I feel the rush
like I'm flying through the air toward some end which none of us can see
until it is rising up underneath me, faster and faster,
I’m ( Read more... ) -
in response to Laur
Damn! When did we all grow up so much and become real people? When did the world get so big and scary, and when did I realize that there were people who could break my heart ( Read more... ) -
shaking my confidence daily
Lying awake in bed at 2 am. I read Mare's entry, and I am struck by how much has changed in the last few months. In the last year. In the last 4 years. I weep for the past, and all the things we will never get back. Grandma's Montauk house. Those little one-serving cereal boxes. Playing with Barbies in that little patch of yard in front of the ( Read more... ) -
better run, better run, outrun my bullet
I guess the end of the year is always this crazy, but this year feels even worse because I am so stressed out about what is happening AFTER the year is over as well. My classes have been wicked intense this semester, and now at the end, it's everything I can do to try to keep up with every stupid little assignment. THEY ARE ALL SO POINTLESS ( Read more... ) -
i've been living my life like some phrase on the tip of my tongue
With everything that is going on lately, it makes me sad and angry that Nate is so unhelpful, unsupportive, unreal even? Sometimes he is just so infuriating, I just want to curl up in my bed for as long as possible and cry myself to sleep. I almost think that he has Asperger's, seriously. He is so difficult to connect with, and lacks empathy to any ( Read more... ) -
while i was sleeping
our love is so much like this crazy weather ( Read more... )