Forget Me Not
A gentleman by the name of Socrates once said, "The unexamined life is not worth living."
I had been contemplating doing this for a long time and with several untimely passings of mentors, celebrities and loved ones of good friends in the last couple of months, this seemed like an opportune time.
As I've been reminded over the last couple of months, tomorrow is never promised and I realized that if I faced an untimely demise, most of you would never know. I'm sure most of you would wonder why I stopped blogging. So in case something were to ever happen to me, I want to take this time now to say goodbye and leave you with a few thoughts:
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So if this is the final post on my blog, then chances are I'm dead and if you think this is morbid to read, imagine how it is for me to be writing this. I always hated when networks canceled TV shows without any form of closure and I would hate to do the same disservice to my loyal readers. The blog was intended to be a chronicle of my journey through life. To recount the life of a Catholic boy, an artist, a writer, a storyteller, a wanderer. Hopefully it reflected a full, evolving and examined life.
So I'm dead. I wonder how I died. Hopefully I joined the ranks of James Dean and Jimi Hendrix in achieving the American Dream: dying young and staying pretty. Hopefully I went out in a blaze of glory. Maybe sacrificing my life to save someone else's life or died saving the world from some heinous terrorist attack or something cool like that. Or maybe I died a martyr. My writings sparked off the long overdue revolution and as one of the leaders, I was assassinated while giving a speech to the masses. Or maybe my execution was a televised one. I was to be made an example of for exposing the corporate captialistic pigs for who they are. And then there's always the possibility that God simply got sick of my shit and struck me down.
Chances are however, my demise was probably nothing spectacular. Years of stress probably triggered that heart attack before I hit 30. I was probably killed in an automobile accident. Maybe I died of natural causes when I was 99, 10 seconds from my birthday. Hopefully it was quick and painless, preferably painless. Even better than that, hopefully I died from the most intense mind shattering orgasm while having sex with a hot blond.
I was probably alone when I died. It seems fitting for so many reasons.
Truth is I've never feared death. It's an inevitability. The uncertainty of what's over the horizon is a little unsettling but the manner of my death has always been what I was worried about. It's the uncertainty of death is what keeps most of us here. While we have our beliefs, none of us truly know what happens next. Maybe there's an afterlife, maybe there isn't. Maybe we all go to Heaven. Maybe a few of us do. Maybe we all go to Hell. That would royally suck. Maybe we just all cease to exist and simply rot in the earth and if that's the case then what's the point of living now? What's the point of any of this? Maybe we're reincarnated and forced to live on this mortal coil yet again. Having to live in this world yet again, that's Hell.
This isn't a wonderful world. In fact it's beyond fucked up. It's cruel and sadistic and for the most part, humanity is a plague. We rape this beautiful earth and we inflict horrors upon one another. Countless souls are dying from war, poverty, genocide, hunger and other unspeakable evils and most of us shrug our shoulders and tell ourselves whatever lie to assuage our conscious and to keep us from stepping outside of our comfort zones. As it stands now there is a reason why so many of us eat, shop, consume, pill pop, smoke, shoot up, booze and engage in whatever vice numbs us. It's much easier to remain in the Matrix then to face the harsh reality that is well........reality. It's so much easier to follow the masses and not ask the big questions and allow someone else to do the thinking for you. If most of us saw the world for what it truly is, a hell of a lot more of us would be checking out with the quickness.
And when you see what this world could be, when you see what humanity could aspire to and juxtapose that to with the way things are, there's nothing more tragic.
So is it hopeless, all for naught? Possibly but I don't think so. I've been privileged, blessed, honored and humbled to have encountered a few extraordinary souls who have reminded me that they are the exception to the rule as far as the human condition goes. Compassionate, wise, humble, selfless, brilliant, beautiful, and strong, they've reminded me what humanity could be and while they are in the minority, they alone are humanity's redeeming quality. I can't express how much I've learned from them.
So what have I learned? Plenty. Too much to list here but a few things:
1. A righteous person does what's right no matter the consequence.
2. When you understand the power of free will, you understand true power.
3. The greatest enemy lies within.
4. Self-accountability and personal responsibility are the cornerstones of character.
5.Don't just treat people the way you would want to be treated. Try to see things from other people's perspective. If we all made a valiant effort to do that, we'd have far less conflict in the world.
6. You will fall, you will fail, but how you deal with those losses define you just as much as your triumphs.
7. If an opportunity presents itself to make a difference, take it.
8. Be you and be the best you that you can possibly be. Always strive to evolve.
9. Try to leave the world better than you found it.
10. Love others and love yourself.
To my family, for better or worse, I tried my best. I learned much from each of you. Hopefully I made you proud.
To my loved ones--my friends, readers, etc.--I love you all and I thank you for everything.
To God....I did the best I could with what I had to work with. Hopefully it was enough. Hopefully I did good. Hopefully I did real good.
But ultimately it matters not cause when all is said and done, I am the seraphim known as the neo_prodigy.