[drabble] Iconic Love: How could I ever love another?
Title: How could I ever love another?
Pairing: JinxKame
Rating: More than G... *I failed at rating* um... maybe PG
Genre: Romance
Summary: This is the sequel of A Beautiful Mess Jin and Kame are now officially together and in love. But love is not always a bed of roses...: How could I ever love another? God knows I give anything, for just one more night together...
Word Count: 2, 079
Disclaimer: It's sad that they aren't mine... they own themselves
Beta: piperr0919 thank you dearie ♥
A/N: Hmm... the longest one I've written, and the title is taken from Utada Hikaru's 'This one (crying like a child)* lyrics and yeah... also the summary (^^)
Kazuya entered his apartment and noticed the extra pair of shoes at his hallway. He smiled happily, knowing who it was.
“I’m home,” he greeted, walking towards his living room and frowned when he noticed that though the TV was on, there was nobody sitting on the sofa.
“Jin?” he called out but no Jin answered.
“Jin?” he called out again, taking a peek into his bedroom and sighed softly at the sight of the older man in his room. Jin was sitting on the bed, staring at a photo frame.
“Jin?”
His boyfriend turned to look at him and somehow Kazuya didn’t like the look on the other’s face.
“Where have you been?” Jin asked sullenly.
Kazuya blinked at the tone of Jin’s voice, then furrowed his brows in confusion.
“I was at Pi’s,” he replied then noticed that Jin’s face hardened.
“Why did you turn off your phone?”
He took his phone from his front pocket, “No, I didn…” Kazuya’s voice trailed off when he realized that his phone was indeed dead.
“Sorry… my phone’s dead.” Kazuya looked at Jin guiltily, biting his lower lip.
Jin closed his eyes and heaved out a deep sigh. “Did you know how worried I was when I couldn’t reach you?”
“Sorry… I didn’t expect that you would finish your filming early for today.” Kazuya walked towards Jin and stood in front of the other, cupping his face.
“How was your day?” he asked softly.
“Like crap,” Jin murmured and he chuckled softly at Jin’s expression.
Another sigh, “You’ve been hanging out with Pi a lot lately.”
“Well, I do have a very busy boyfriend.”
Jin wrapped his arms around his waist, nuzzling his face against his stomach. He frowned slightly by the older man’s actions but then decided not to ask. Kazuya silently held the other back, placing a kiss on the top of Jin’s head.
“I miss you…” Jin’s voice muffled against his stomach.
“We see each other every day,” he replied and Jin shook his head, looking up at him.
“It’s not enough,” Jin pouted slightly. “Every time I come to your apartment you already asleep and when at work… you know we can’t do things like these in front of them…”
Then Jin bit his lip, and gave him a hurt look. “Don’t you miss me Kazu-chan? Am I the only one missing you?”
Kazuya could feel his heart ache by the way Jin was looking at him. He planted a soft kiss onto the other’s nose. “I miss you everyday… but for me it’s okay because I know that you are and will be around. I feel satisfied by just looking at you.”
He could feel Jin tighten his hold around his waist. “I love you…”
Kazuya leaned down and gave his boyfriend a soft kiss on the lips. “I know,” he murmured in the kiss and he could feel Jin grow rigid in his arms, but it ended quickly that he decided to ignore it.
“I love you very much…” Jin pulled him down in a tight embrace.
Kazuya furrowed his brows by Jin’s action. It was as if Jin was afraid that he would leave him.
“Jin… you know that I would never leave you right?”
“I know…”
He stared into those clear brown orbs and saw the uncertainty and doubt in the other’s eyes.
“I would never leave you,” he whispered again before leaning down for another kiss and he could feel Jin’s hold on him tighten as the older man deepened the kiss.
As the other man pulled him down onto the bed, Kazuya couldn’t help but to feel uneasy. He always knew that relationships were complicated but he never paid any heed to any complications in his relationship, but it felt different when it came to Jin.
He didn’t like it…
…………………………………………………………………………..
“Are you going to join me at the gym today?”
Kazuya glanced at Ueda, who was walking beside him and gave the other a thoughtful look.
“Jin would be home late today, and I have nothing to do…” he muttered to himself and his legs just stopped when he saw the figure in front of him.
“Kame?”
Both of them were standing in front of a jewelry store and inside the store stood Jin and a girl. Jin was smiling happily at the girl beside him, and by the looks of it, it seemed like they were choosing an accessory shown in front of them.
“Kame?” Ueda was about to turn to look at what he had seen but Kazuya quickly pulled his friend away from the store.
“I’ll be joining you to the gym…” he forced out a huge grin and felt relieved that the older man didn’t ask him anything, despite the strange looks the other had given him.
His chest hurt…
“I’m home!”
“Welcome home!” Jin’s voice resounded across his living room.
Taking a deep breathe he walked towards his living room, plastering a wide smile on his face.
“You look happy today, what’s the occasion?” he asked his boyfriend, who was beaming brightly at him.
“I do?” Jin asked grinning.
“Yeah…” Kazuya could feel his smile faltering.
Jin shrugged looking very much happy, “Today is a great day.”
Kazuya bit his lower lip, forcing out a smile. “It is isn’t it?”
It was strange, he knew that he was supposed to go berserk, asking and demanding at his boyfriend about what he had seen earlier that day, but when he looked at the happy smile on the other’s face, he didn’t have the heart to ruin it. And he was scared too, scared to know the truth.
“And yeah… Kazu-chan… can you go out with me and my friends tonight?”
He didn’t know if he could fake a smile that long, and he knew if Pi started to ask him anything, he would just blurt them out and he didn’t want to drag Pi into his troubles.
“I don’t think I can, feel a bit tired…”
“Oh…”
“I’m sorry…”
“It’s okay…” Jin smiled slightly and started to type a message in his phone.
After a few moments, Jin turned to him with that bright smile of his, “So what are we going to do tonight?”
Eh?
“I’m staying here with you.”
As he gazed at his boyfriend’s beaming face, he couldn’t help but to think that he’s already falling in too deep.
Kazuya stared at the magazine on the coffee table. He really wanted to cry but he just couldn’t. He had known all along, so what’s the difference from knowing it officially?
He could hear the lock click, the door opened and the soft sounds of very familiar footsteps walking towards him. A tired sigh…
“Hey…” strong arms wrapped around his shoulder from behind and he cursed himself for flinching by the touch.
“Kazuya?” Jin had sounded like a scared lost boy that it hurt.
“You believed everything they said?” Jin asked softly and Kazuya just stayed immobile.
“You believed everything they said?” Jin asked again, his voice shook slightly.
“I don’t know…” he replied barely in a whisper.
“You know that I love you right?” Jin held his shoulder tightly and he could feel warm liquid fall against his neck, but he didn’t respond to it. His head and his heart were in a mess.
“Don’t you trust me?”
“I saw you and her before… and you looked happy…”
He had thought a lot about everything. Jin wasn’t even gay in the first place and he also knew that man and man relationship wouldn’t last long, and if Jin was happy with that girl he thought he could cope with it. And if he couldn’t, he’d force himself to cope with it.
“When did you see us?” Jin’s voice was tense.
Kazuya cleared his throat. “At the jewelry store… but it is okay, if you like her…”
“Bullshit…”
Kazuya immediately stood up turning towards the other, “This is not bullshit, I’ve been thinking about us… and I don’t thin…”
“Shut up!” Jin raked his hair in frustration. “Don’t you even think about me?”
The older man gave him a hard stare while the tears kept on falling, “Why does it feel so hard to be with you? How can I get the fact into that thick skull of yours that I would not let you go? I would not sway so easily Kazuya. My heart and head is filled with you and only you…”
“Somehow… lately I’m not sure that you even love me…”
“Jin… I…”
“It’s okay… it’s okay if you don’t love me… but don’t throw me away please…”
Kazuya stared at the forlorn figure that was standing behind the sofa and taking a deep breath he said, “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me…”
He walked towards the taller man in the middle of the room. “I’m sorry for doubting you and us…” and when he finally reached the other, he wiped the other’s tears and whispered, “I love you…”
“Say that again…”
Kazuya smiled, sniffled softly and gave his boyfriend a kiss on the lips. “I love you so much that I feel satisfied just seeing you happy.”
“So don’t go… I’m the happiest when I’m with you.”
He gave the other another kiss on the mouth. “I won’t go… I promise…”
2 months later…
“I’m sorry if this is very sudden for you.”
Kazuya shook his head, smiling politely at the middle-aged woman in front of him. “It’s okay.”
He watched the elderly but beautiful woman in front of him fidgeting in her seat. “I think I’ll go straight to the point Kazuya-kun.”
She sighed, “I don’t have anything against you… and truthfully I really like you and take you as my own son too…”
Kazuya played with the bracelet around his wrist, somehow feeling uneasy.
“And as a mother… can you promise me one thing Kazuya-kun?”
…………………………………………………………………………
“Welcome home!”
Jin gaped at him at the doorway before smiling widely and pulled him towards himself.
“I didn’t know that I have such a sly boyfriend,” Jin murmured in their kiss. “I thought you were still in Osaka, filming.”
Kazuya smiled, “I have my ways.”
A contented sigh, “I missed you like crazy…” Jin murmured against his neck and he squirmed slightly.
“And I missed you too,” he whispered in reply, sighing softly when he felt Jin’s hand roaming on his behind.
“Impatient are we…” Kazuya chuckled softly when the other nibbled softly at his ear.
“Well…” Jin blew against his ear, “Can I unwrap my present now?”
Kazuya played at the bracelet around Jin’s wrist and smiled at the sight of their paired ones. He didn’t know that Jin could be that sappy, getting themselves a pair bracelet for their anniversary and because of that they almost broke up…
He moved slightly and in reflex, Jin’s hold on him tightened. “Stay…” the older man murmured.
“I’m not going anywhere…” he whispered back and Jin replied with a soft grunt.
“Jin…?”
“Hmm…”
“What would you do if I had to let go of you?”
“What?” the older man mumbled, nuzzling his face against his neck kissing them softly in the process.
“What did you say?”
“Nothing… I’m just talking about random things…” Kazuya bit his lip, to stop himself from tearing up.
“Idiot, stop thinking about weird things…”
Kazuya placed a soft kiss onto the other’s hand. “I love you…”
“I know… I love you too…”
Kazuya could feel his heart breaking. He didn’t want to let go off Jin. At first, he had always been easily satisfied only by seeing the other happy but he couldn’t help to feel selfish now… he wanted to own Jin but… there were a few things in life that they couldn’t have… and for him, it would be Jin…
“And as a mother… can you promise me one thing Kazuya-kun?”
“Yes?”
“I know that Jin gave you that bracelet…” Kazuya’s fingers stopped, “And I know that Jin loves you very much… but… can you please let go of him?”
“I…”
“As a mother… as Jin’s mother I begged you please…”
Kazuya looked down to his hands. He had expected this but he didn’t expect that it would be this soon. He took a deep breath. “Can you give me time Akanishi-san?”
The woman nodded her head, whispering her apologies and Kazuya could feel his world turn dark…
“I’m sorry…” Kazuya murmured softly, muffling his voice against the pillow. “I’m sorry…”
Tbc
A/N: So how was it? I really hope that you all would like the update... we will see what happen in Jin's POV (^^) and as always feedbacks are love, they keeps me moving ♥ *huggles all*