The bad fanfiction just doesn't stop, does it?
Title: "Freudian Slip"
Series: Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro
Genre: Romance
Pairing: Neuro/Yako
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,425
Summary: Yako convinces Neuro to treat her to dinner. Misunderstandings follow.
Notes: Takes place post-manga, no major spoilers.
To Read:
---
"All things considered, you were far less disappointing on this case than I would have expected," Neuro remarked, having just completed his habitual mystery-consumption, no doubt already on the alert for his next meal. Yako turned his statement over in her mind for a moment before coming to the startling conclusion that he was actually praising her. Out loud, even. A tiny smile of pride tweaked at the corners of her mouth. She must've really impressed him this time.
But overconfidence is never a safe state of mind to be in while Neuro is around and Yako soon found herself in a rather uncomfortable position, face-down on the sidewalk with Neuro's knee in her back.
"And what's that face for, hmm? My favorite slug isn't getting a swelled head now, is she? You've still got a long way to go before you can start claiming to have surpassed that inherent mediocrity of yours."
Yako wondered what it said about her psychological state that she was more flattered by his use of the word "favorite" than she was offended by the deluge of back-handed compliments she'd just been given. And perhaps that was what gave her the confidence to say what she said next.
"Well, maybe if you showed me a little appreciation every now and then, I wouldn't have to cling so desperately to these little scraps of approval you so rarely deign to fling my way." Almost immediately after she'd finished speaking, Yako felt a rush of gut-churning fear. What on earth had she been thinking, sassing Neuro like that? He was going to kill her!
And for a moment, she really thought he was. Neuro's eyebrows raised in imperious bemusement as he regarded her carefully, pupils briefly glowing a sickly electric green.
"Appreciation," he repeated. Yako gulped nervously and craned her neck upwards for a moment, hoping to catch one final glimpse of sunlight before her life was extinguished forever. "And exactly what sort of...appreciation...would you be expecting from me?"
For a moment, Yako wasn't sure she'd heard correctly. Was Neuro actually asking for her input on something? Something that, to her knowledge, provided no immediate benefits to himself?
"U-um, ah, er..." she mentally stumbled, unable to string two words together - let alone a complete sentence. "Well, uh, I suppose... That is, if you're not against the idea... Seeing as I'm always helping to secure your meals, then... Uh, maybe... I mean, it might be nice if--"
"Spit it out, Yako, you're boring me."
"I'd-like-you-to-take-me-out-to-dinner-tonight!" Yako expelled the words from her body like a sneeze.
Neuro, rather predictably, wore an expression not unlike that which might adorn the face of someone receiving an enema.
"Sorry," Yako stammered, "I should've known better than to..." she paused, taking this opportunity to climb to her feet once more, "No. I'm not taking it back, a dinner is exactly what I want from you. One dinner, Neuro, and then I swear I'll never mention it again. I hardly think it's too much to ask for in exchange for the lifetime of servitude you've claimed over me." Yako didn't quite know from whence she'd summoned this most recent bout of courage, but she was in it for both a penny and a pound now.
Neuro's face transitioned from enema-patient to a milder stubbed-toe variation.
And that was how amateur detective Yako Katsuragi somehow managed to arrange a date with the demon Neuro Nougami.
---
Not that she'd ever call it a "date," of course. That would be just silly. I mean, this was Neuro we were talking about here. She wasn't even sure why she was taking such pains to select a cute outfit that evening.
What would it matter to Neuro if the frills at the top of her new designer blouse elegantly camouflaged her flat-chestedness? Or if the slightly-too-tight skirt she wore accentuated a derrière most runway models would kill to have?
No, she'd leave it to normal college-aged girls to concern themselves with such things. Her days were more often spent investigating crime scenes and mediating hostage negotiations. And she was quite content with that, truth be told.
As the sun began to set, Yako began making her way towards the office. When she entered, she found Neuro tapping away at his computer, apparently absorbed by whatever research he was currently engaged in. Yako fought against the rush of disappointment she felt. Had he really found them another case so soon?
But two taps of his spacebar later, Neuro rose from his desk and gleefully made his way towards the door.
"Come, Yako. I believe I've found the perfect place for your appreciation."
And somehow, she didn't like the sound of that.
---
Yako's apprehension only grew stronger the farther along they walked. This wasn't the sort of area one should be traveling in after dark, making her feel oddly grateful for the nigh-invincible hell spawn at her side. She wondered idly if this was some sort of punishment for her earlier boldness. Would Neuro be taking her to some run-down dive that offered humans on the menu? She mentally promised herself to refuse any dish labeled "soylent green" that evening.
But to her (pleasant) surprise, their walk led them to a rather distinguished-looking shopping arcade. At the very end of the street, an old restaurant loomed, covered in wisteria vines. The blossoms hung down ominously over the restaurant entrance, like long purple fangs. Still, it was certainly not the cannibalistic horror she'd been imagining.
As they entered, Yako noticed a palpable chill in the air. True, it was summer, but to have the air-conditioning cranked so much seemed like overkill to her... However, the chill soon passed and she convinced herself that it had merely been her imagination. Once seated, Yako was able to take in her surroundings a bit more.
"Neuro," she murmured, observing the tasteful décor around them, "this place is great, how'd you find out about it? I thought I knew all the best restaurants around here..." Neuro rested his chin in his hand and smirked confidently.
"They say," he began, obviously relishing each and every syllable, "that this establishment is haunted."
Yako blinked, choosing to remain silent while their waiter came over to take their drink orders. Neuro, naturally, ordered nothing. After the server returned, setting Yako's iced tea down onto the table with a gentle clunk, she had finally organized her thoughts well enough to respond.
"And...do you...actually believe that?" she managed to squeak out. She'd never known Neuro to be particularly superstitious, but then again, he was a demon. Perhaps he knew more about the supernatural world than he let on.
Rather than dignifying her question with a response, he merely gave a short bark of laughter. (Although "bark" probably wasn't the best term to describe it; it sounded more akin to the cry of a rare jungle bird than it did any canine utterances.)
"Documented accounts," he resumed, "report various inexplicable phenomena occurring at this precise location over the last sixteen decades. The most famous of which," and here he paused to gesture over Yako's shoulder towards an antique clock upon the wall, with the year 1848 engraved into its face, "is that clock, rumored to have caused time to actually run backwards on occasion."
"Can ghosts really do that?" Yako gasped, her eyes widening to roughly the same circumference as the empty plate that lay before her. In response, Neuro's eyes suddenly became dewy and innocent.
"Sensei can't possibly still believe in ghosts, can she? Why, any evolved creature with more than two brain cells to rub together knows that there's no such thing."
"Right," Yako muttered to herself, crossing her arms, "just like there's no such thing as demons, eh?"
"Trans-dimensional beings, please."
"Whatever," Yako sighed, "so is this the real reason we came here? To act the part of 'meddling kids' and find a reasonable explanation for all this phenomena?"
"Of course not," Neuro looked vaguely scandalized, "I knew the explanation long before we came here."
"Then... Why--"
Just then, they were interrupted by their server's return, eager to take their meal orders. Neuro once again ordered nothing and Yako, in an unprepared fluster, managed to order the most expensive item on the menu.
"Sorry about that, Neuro," Yako explained sheepishly, "I honestly didn't intend to stick you with such a large bill."
"Bill?" Neuro inquired, "I don't recall ever promising to pay for this dinner of yours."
Yako's blood froze in her veins.
"Wha-? But... You said--"
"I agreed to, and I quote, 'take you out to dinner tonight.' I believe I have already accomplished my side of this little bargain in having found this fine establishment and escorting you here. You're just lucky I've agreed to go the extra mile and keep you company as you dine. No need to thank me, I understand if my generosity overwhelms..." Neuro took a moment to readjust his gloves, acting every bit the perfect gentleman.
Yako's forehead met the table in front of her with an enthusiasm typically seen only in reunited lovers. Really now, she should have expected something like...this.
And Neuro just sat calmly across from her, his hands folded elegantly before him atop the neatly-pressed tablecloth. No one that unpleasant should be allowed to look that handsome, she thought, in a vaguely panic-induced haze.
"Impossible."
"Huh?" Yako blurted out, fearing for a split-second that Neuro had newly acquired the ability to read her thoughts.
"Paradox-free time travel is, of course, entirely impossible."
Oh, right. The haunted clock. Yako glanced over her shoulder, noting the time.
"However, time displacement - for example, the difference in speed at which time passes between various dimensions - is another matter entirely."
"Naturally," Yako responded dully, her brain already beginning to shut down. She got the feeling she wasn't going to understand much of Neuro's forthcoming lecture on inter-dimensional physics.
"We've seen this at work once already," Neuro continued, "the short span of time I had to spend recovering in the miasma of the demon world wound up...keeping me from you," if Yako didn't know any better, she'd say a look of genuine regret briefly passed across Neuro's face, "for roughly three years of this world's time."
"So, then... How do you explain all those reports?" Yako asked, cautiously.
"Basically," Neuro responded brightly, "it's all in their heads."
Yako crossed her legs and brought her drink to her lips, never once breaking eye contact with Neuro: a veiled signal for him to elaborate further.
"The human heart," he said, after a brief pause, "is something I still cannot seem to understand." Yako stared, wondering where on earth he was going with this. "One thing I have come to accept, though," he continued, "is humanity's affinity for the unexplained. And, in some ways, it rather perfectly mirrors my own hunger for mysteries..."
A faint smile seemed to appear on Neuro's face just then, something that made Yako's heart feel strangely light. Ah, of course, she thought, Neuro must've searched high and low for a place that he knew would sate both of our appetites. The air of mysteries here sets Neuro at ease. That knowledge pleased Yako somehow. She was glad Neuro seemed to be enjoying this night as much as she was.
But before she could pursue this line of thought any further, their waiter arrived with her entrée, a positively gorgeous-looking steak. Suddenly, Yako was like a kid on Christmas morning, eyes sparkling in rapture as she began carving the juicy slab of meat before her.
"Oh, man," she crooned, taking her first bite, "this fillet is simply divine! I wish you could try this, Neuro. I love you!"
If Neuro had been drinking anything at that moment, he would have spit it out. As it was, his mouth briefly dropped open in a very un-demonlike manner, before he managed to completely regain his senses.
"What...was that...you said...?"
"Hmm?" Yako mumbled through another bite of steak, "I said it's too bad you can't eat this, Neuro. I love it!"
"I love you."
Now it was Yako's turned to be shocked, her face flushing hotly and her heart pounding audibly in her chest.
"Wh-wh-wh-wha--"
"That's what you said. Not 'I love it,' but I love you."
Yako's hands were shaking now and she began to feel a bit dizzy. She couldn't have said that, surely not. After all the nights spent lying awake, convincing herself that she didn't love him? How could she have messed up so badly as to say something like...something like that...to...him...him, of all people...
Suddenly, Yako didn't have much of an appetite anymore. She gazed miserably at her steak, doing everything she could to avoid looking at the demon sitting across from her. She should've known this was a bad idea, should've known not to try and change the status quo. Why? Why had she wanted so badly to feel appreciated by him? Was it... Was it because...?
Yako took one deep, shuddering breath and managed to lift up her head, shaking the hair out of her eyes, meeting Neuro's curious gaze with her own determined one.
"That's not what I said, Neuro. You must have misheard me."
And for a moment, all sound in the restaurant seemed to have ceased. Yako focused every bit of her concentration on Neuro's face, on his nigh-imperceptible expression. And then, apparently emboldened by whatever it was she had seen flickering in his eyes, she quietly continued.
"But just because I didn't say it...doesn't mean it isn't true."
And with that, she resumed her meal in silence. She'd be damned if she was going to let this expensive dinner go to waste. (Especially seeing as she'd be the one paying for it.) Neuro, meanwhile, didn't respond to Yako's earnest confession, a preoccupied expression troubling his normally placid features instead.
---
With no regrets, Yako paid her bill and prepared to leave, Neuro rising silently to join her. But just as she was about to set foot outside the restaurant, she thought to turn around.
"Neuro!" she gasped, having caught sight of the time, "the clock, it--"
But whatever she had been about to say wound up being muffled and lost forever, as she suddenly found herself in the most passionate kiss of her life. And as she closed her eyes and returned the demon's - her demon's - kiss with all of her heart, she thought she could probably stand for appreciation of this nature just a little more often.
---
A/N: And now for the real kicker. Who made the Freudian slip? Yako, in speaking? ...Or Neuro, in hearing? ;)
I'LL NEVER TELL~
Not even gonna lie, it was totally Neuro. XD;;
Series: Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro
Genre: Romance
Pairing: Neuro/Yako
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,425
Summary: Yako convinces Neuro to treat her to dinner. Misunderstandings follow.
Notes: Takes place post-manga, no major spoilers.
To Read:
---
"All things considered, you were far less disappointing on this case than I would have expected," Neuro remarked, having just completed his habitual mystery-consumption, no doubt already on the alert for his next meal. Yako turned his statement over in her mind for a moment before coming to the startling conclusion that he was actually praising her. Out loud, even. A tiny smile of pride tweaked at the corners of her mouth. She must've really impressed him this time.
But overconfidence is never a safe state of mind to be in while Neuro is around and Yako soon found herself in a rather uncomfortable position, face-down on the sidewalk with Neuro's knee in her back.
"And what's that face for, hmm? My favorite slug isn't getting a swelled head now, is she? You've still got a long way to go before you can start claiming to have surpassed that inherent mediocrity of yours."
Yako wondered what it said about her psychological state that she was more flattered by his use of the word "favorite" than she was offended by the deluge of back-handed compliments she'd just been given. And perhaps that was what gave her the confidence to say what she said next.
"Well, maybe if you showed me a little appreciation every now and then, I wouldn't have to cling so desperately to these little scraps of approval you so rarely deign to fling my way." Almost immediately after she'd finished speaking, Yako felt a rush of gut-churning fear. What on earth had she been thinking, sassing Neuro like that? He was going to kill her!
And for a moment, she really thought he was. Neuro's eyebrows raised in imperious bemusement as he regarded her carefully, pupils briefly glowing a sickly electric green.
"Appreciation," he repeated. Yako gulped nervously and craned her neck upwards for a moment, hoping to catch one final glimpse of sunlight before her life was extinguished forever. "And exactly what sort of...appreciation...would you be expecting from me?"
For a moment, Yako wasn't sure she'd heard correctly. Was Neuro actually asking for her input on something? Something that, to her knowledge, provided no immediate benefits to himself?
"U-um, ah, er..." she mentally stumbled, unable to string two words together - let alone a complete sentence. "Well, uh, I suppose... That is, if you're not against the idea... Seeing as I'm always helping to secure your meals, then... Uh, maybe... I mean, it might be nice if--"
"Spit it out, Yako, you're boring me."
"I'd-like-you-to-take-me-out-to-dinner-tonight!" Yako expelled the words from her body like a sneeze.
Neuro, rather predictably, wore an expression not unlike that which might adorn the face of someone receiving an enema.
"Sorry," Yako stammered, "I should've known better than to..." she paused, taking this opportunity to climb to her feet once more, "No. I'm not taking it back, a dinner is exactly what I want from you. One dinner, Neuro, and then I swear I'll never mention it again. I hardly think it's too much to ask for in exchange for the lifetime of servitude you've claimed over me." Yako didn't quite know from whence she'd summoned this most recent bout of courage, but she was in it for both a penny and a pound now.
Neuro's face transitioned from enema-patient to a milder stubbed-toe variation.
And that was how amateur detective Yako Katsuragi somehow managed to arrange a date with the demon Neuro Nougami.
---
Not that she'd ever call it a "date," of course. That would be just silly. I mean, this was Neuro we were talking about here. She wasn't even sure why she was taking such pains to select a cute outfit that evening.
What would it matter to Neuro if the frills at the top of her new designer blouse elegantly camouflaged her flat-chestedness? Or if the slightly-too-tight skirt she wore accentuated a derrière most runway models would kill to have?
No, she'd leave it to normal college-aged girls to concern themselves with such things. Her days were more often spent investigating crime scenes and mediating hostage negotiations. And she was quite content with that, truth be told.
As the sun began to set, Yako began making her way towards the office. When she entered, she found Neuro tapping away at his computer, apparently absorbed by whatever research he was currently engaged in. Yako fought against the rush of disappointment she felt. Had he really found them another case so soon?
But two taps of his spacebar later, Neuro rose from his desk and gleefully made his way towards the door.
"Come, Yako. I believe I've found the perfect place for your appreciation."
And somehow, she didn't like the sound of that.
---
Yako's apprehension only grew stronger the farther along they walked. This wasn't the sort of area one should be traveling in after dark, making her feel oddly grateful for the nigh-invincible hell spawn at her side. She wondered idly if this was some sort of punishment for her earlier boldness. Would Neuro be taking her to some run-down dive that offered humans on the menu? She mentally promised herself to refuse any dish labeled "soylent green" that evening.
But to her (pleasant) surprise, their walk led them to a rather distinguished-looking shopping arcade. At the very end of the street, an old restaurant loomed, covered in wisteria vines. The blossoms hung down ominously over the restaurant entrance, like long purple fangs. Still, it was certainly not the cannibalistic horror she'd been imagining.
As they entered, Yako noticed a palpable chill in the air. True, it was summer, but to have the air-conditioning cranked so much seemed like overkill to her... However, the chill soon passed and she convinced herself that it had merely been her imagination. Once seated, Yako was able to take in her surroundings a bit more.
"Neuro," she murmured, observing the tasteful décor around them, "this place is great, how'd you find out about it? I thought I knew all the best restaurants around here..." Neuro rested his chin in his hand and smirked confidently.
"They say," he began, obviously relishing each and every syllable, "that this establishment is haunted."
Yako blinked, choosing to remain silent while their waiter came over to take their drink orders. Neuro, naturally, ordered nothing. After the server returned, setting Yako's iced tea down onto the table with a gentle clunk, she had finally organized her thoughts well enough to respond.
"And...do you...actually believe that?" she managed to squeak out. She'd never known Neuro to be particularly superstitious, but then again, he was a demon. Perhaps he knew more about the supernatural world than he let on.
Rather than dignifying her question with a response, he merely gave a short bark of laughter. (Although "bark" probably wasn't the best term to describe it; it sounded more akin to the cry of a rare jungle bird than it did any canine utterances.)
"Documented accounts," he resumed, "report various inexplicable phenomena occurring at this precise location over the last sixteen decades. The most famous of which," and here he paused to gesture over Yako's shoulder towards an antique clock upon the wall, with the year 1848 engraved into its face, "is that clock, rumored to have caused time to actually run backwards on occasion."
"Can ghosts really do that?" Yako gasped, her eyes widening to roughly the same circumference as the empty plate that lay before her. In response, Neuro's eyes suddenly became dewy and innocent.
"Sensei can't possibly still believe in ghosts, can she? Why, any evolved creature with more than two brain cells to rub together knows that there's no such thing."
"Right," Yako muttered to herself, crossing her arms, "just like there's no such thing as demons, eh?"
"Trans-dimensional beings, please."
"Whatever," Yako sighed, "so is this the real reason we came here? To act the part of 'meddling kids' and find a reasonable explanation for all this phenomena?"
"Of course not," Neuro looked vaguely scandalized, "I knew the explanation long before we came here."
"Then... Why--"
Just then, they were interrupted by their server's return, eager to take their meal orders. Neuro once again ordered nothing and Yako, in an unprepared fluster, managed to order the most expensive item on the menu.
"Sorry about that, Neuro," Yako explained sheepishly, "I honestly didn't intend to stick you with such a large bill."
"Bill?" Neuro inquired, "I don't recall ever promising to pay for this dinner of yours."
Yako's blood froze in her veins.
"Wha-? But... You said--"
"I agreed to, and I quote, 'take you out to dinner tonight.' I believe I have already accomplished my side of this little bargain in having found this fine establishment and escorting you here. You're just lucky I've agreed to go the extra mile and keep you company as you dine. No need to thank me, I understand if my generosity overwhelms..." Neuro took a moment to readjust his gloves, acting every bit the perfect gentleman.
Yako's forehead met the table in front of her with an enthusiasm typically seen only in reunited lovers. Really now, she should have expected something like...this.
And Neuro just sat calmly across from her, his hands folded elegantly before him atop the neatly-pressed tablecloth. No one that unpleasant should be allowed to look that handsome, she thought, in a vaguely panic-induced haze.
"Impossible."
"Huh?" Yako blurted out, fearing for a split-second that Neuro had newly acquired the ability to read her thoughts.
"Paradox-free time travel is, of course, entirely impossible."
Oh, right. The haunted clock. Yako glanced over her shoulder, noting the time.
"However, time displacement - for example, the difference in speed at which time passes between various dimensions - is another matter entirely."
"Naturally," Yako responded dully, her brain already beginning to shut down. She got the feeling she wasn't going to understand much of Neuro's forthcoming lecture on inter-dimensional physics.
"We've seen this at work once already," Neuro continued, "the short span of time I had to spend recovering in the miasma of the demon world wound up...keeping me from you," if Yako didn't know any better, she'd say a look of genuine regret briefly passed across Neuro's face, "for roughly three years of this world's time."
"So, then... How do you explain all those reports?" Yako asked, cautiously.
"Basically," Neuro responded brightly, "it's all in their heads."
Yako crossed her legs and brought her drink to her lips, never once breaking eye contact with Neuro: a veiled signal for him to elaborate further.
"The human heart," he said, after a brief pause, "is something I still cannot seem to understand." Yako stared, wondering where on earth he was going with this. "One thing I have come to accept, though," he continued, "is humanity's affinity for the unexplained. And, in some ways, it rather perfectly mirrors my own hunger for mysteries..."
A faint smile seemed to appear on Neuro's face just then, something that made Yako's heart feel strangely light. Ah, of course, she thought, Neuro must've searched high and low for a place that he knew would sate both of our appetites. The air of mysteries here sets Neuro at ease. That knowledge pleased Yako somehow. She was glad Neuro seemed to be enjoying this night as much as she was.
But before she could pursue this line of thought any further, their waiter arrived with her entrée, a positively gorgeous-looking steak. Suddenly, Yako was like a kid on Christmas morning, eyes sparkling in rapture as she began carving the juicy slab of meat before her.
"Oh, man," she crooned, taking her first bite, "this fillet is simply divine! I wish you could try this, Neuro. I love you!"
If Neuro had been drinking anything at that moment, he would have spit it out. As it was, his mouth briefly dropped open in a very un-demonlike manner, before he managed to completely regain his senses.
"What...was that...you said...?"
"Hmm?" Yako mumbled through another bite of steak, "I said it's too bad you can't eat this, Neuro. I love it!"
"I love you."
Now it was Yako's turned to be shocked, her face flushing hotly and her heart pounding audibly in her chest.
"Wh-wh-wh-wha--"
"That's what you said. Not 'I love it,' but I love you."
Yako's hands were shaking now and she began to feel a bit dizzy. She couldn't have said that, surely not. After all the nights spent lying awake, convincing herself that she didn't love him? How could she have messed up so badly as to say something like...something like that...to...him...him, of all people...
Suddenly, Yako didn't have much of an appetite anymore. She gazed miserably at her steak, doing everything she could to avoid looking at the demon sitting across from her. She should've known this was a bad idea, should've known not to try and change the status quo. Why? Why had she wanted so badly to feel appreciated by him? Was it... Was it because...?
Yako took one deep, shuddering breath and managed to lift up her head, shaking the hair out of her eyes, meeting Neuro's curious gaze with her own determined one.
"That's not what I said, Neuro. You must have misheard me."
And for a moment, all sound in the restaurant seemed to have ceased. Yako focused every bit of her concentration on Neuro's face, on his nigh-imperceptible expression. And then, apparently emboldened by whatever it was she had seen flickering in his eyes, she quietly continued.
"But just because I didn't say it...doesn't mean it isn't true."
And with that, she resumed her meal in silence. She'd be damned if she was going to let this expensive dinner go to waste. (Especially seeing as she'd be the one paying for it.) Neuro, meanwhile, didn't respond to Yako's earnest confession, a preoccupied expression troubling his normally placid features instead.
---
With no regrets, Yako paid her bill and prepared to leave, Neuro rising silently to join her. But just as she was about to set foot outside the restaurant, she thought to turn around.
"Neuro!" she gasped, having caught sight of the time, "the clock, it--"
But whatever she had been about to say wound up being muffled and lost forever, as she suddenly found herself in the most passionate kiss of her life. And as she closed her eyes and returned the demon's - her demon's - kiss with all of her heart, she thought she could probably stand for appreciation of this nature just a little more often.
---
A/N: And now for the real kicker. Who made the Freudian slip? Yako, in speaking? ...Or Neuro, in hearing? ;)
I'LL NEVER TELL~
Not even gonna lie, it was totally Neuro. XD;;