Old ones, new ones.
Gemini - Your Love Profile
Your positive traits:
Your lively, outgoing attitude attracts people to you everywhere you go.
You can talk your way into - and out of - any situation you desire.
You're adaptable enough to flirt with anyone - and people tend to fight over you.
Your negative traits:
You get easily bored in relationships, and tend to jump from person to person.
You tend to be a bit of a player - and have a high tolerance for drama in relationships.
Not the most emphathetic person, you tend to tell lovers to "get over" their problems.
Your ideal partner:
Is intelligent and quick witted enough to keep you interested.
Is a bit of a shape shifter, providing you with the variety you crave.
An open minded person, who's willling to have a non-traditional relationship.
Your dating style:
Exciting. If your date shows you a new experience (like Egyptian food or scuba diving), you're very happy.
Your seduction style:
Experimental: it's rare that you try the same thing twice.
Ultra kinky - you do stuff that's not even in books yet.
Hot and cold... sometimes you're just not into the whole sex thing.
Tips for the future:
Settle down a little. Sometimes good things come with time - so don't let people go so fast.
Acknowledge that you're a player and flirt. If your mate can't live with this, find someone who can.
Give your partner a little more attention. You don't have to be a social butterfly all the time.
Best place to meet someone online:
Match.com - enough sexy singles for you to find a new playmate when you get restless
Best color to attract mate: Sunny yellow
Best day for a date: Wednesday
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Your Kissing Purity Score: 49% Pure
You're not one to kiss and tell...
But word is, you kiss pretty well.
Kissing Purity Test
*looks at a certain someone*
This one here is for carolyn:
You Know You're Addicted to Photoshop When...
You see the world with one eye and stock images with the other.
When asked what the primary colors are, answer "RGB"
You get the urge to 'fix' poor quality images.
You start teaching your significant other to use this "evil" program and in the space of one afternoon convince them it's at least only quasi-evil in the face of PSP.
You ramble about a breakthrough in the piece you're doing to people who have no idea in hell what you're talking about
You ponder the meaning of existence without layers.
You never leave the house without a digicam and notepad.
You drop something and your brain tells you automatically "Ctrl-Z! Ctrl-Z!". When you realize it won't work, your brain tells you "Ctrl-Alt-Z! Ctrl-Alt-Z!"
You're getting dressed for something important and you look in the mirror and realize you would look so much better if you could just tweak the levels a little and apply a slight gaussian blur.
You stop on the street to rant about cheesey effects that should not be on professional posters.
You scream out fonts as they appear on TV.
You have dreams in "glowing edges"
You're standing by the ocean and wondering who used Ocean Ripple.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Photoshop.
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You Know You're Addicted to LotR When...
You start quoting from the movie as part of regular conversation.
You like to tell your mom that you are hungry by quoting: "Merry, I'm hungry."
She used to just laugh, but now she says, "What would you like to eat, Pippin?"
You continually ask your parents for second breakfast.
All the staff at your local cinema knows you by your first name and even before you open your mouth to speak, they say "Ticket for 'Fellowship of The Ring?'"
You hate Burger King food, butyou ate nothing else for a month to get the toys.
You've crammed up your computer's memory by downloading every single screensaver from www.LordoftheRings.net
You wander around the house in a knee length nightie, pyjama trousers and an unfastened dressing gown (to give you a train). You are trying to be an elf, and actually manage to forget that the nightie is blue with dolphins, the trousers have teddies on and the dressing gown is tartan.
Your Lord of the Rings shirt has not yet met the washing machine.
You don't have enough money to buy groceries for the next week before payday, yet you charge �50 on your credit card to get a three year charter membership in the official LOTR fan club. Who needs food anyway?
You refer to parts of your town as parts of Middle-Earth.
You wear hobbitish clothing as part of your normal wardrobe.
You sometimes let your hair go curly after a wash, and then run around the house in bare feet yelling "I'm a hobbit!"
You hate it when Elves are only thought of as 'Santa's little helpers' and have tried to explain the difference between Santa-elves and Syrian Elves to your 5-year old cousins.
You speak in Quenya just to annoy your friends.
You refer to regular elephants as oliphaunts.
While buttering a piece of bread, you suddenly think of Bilbo (remember when he was talking to Gandalf about feeling tired) saying that he felt 'like butter spread over too much bread.'
You renamed your car the Wraith-mobile.
You have a replica of The One Ring.
You are beginning to resemble a panda due to the fact that you've stayed up until 2 am reading and re-reading the great books.
You actually managed to read the Silmarillion without being tempted to give up on this whole middle earth malarkey.
You now have a lifetime fear of black horses!
You haven't removed the soundtrack from your CD player since you bought it.
You have sssudenly developed a hisssing lisssp every time you sssay the letter ssss.
You have looked both on the net and in the phone book to see if archery and sword fighting lessions are offered in your area.
You have begun calling your husband / wife / girlfriend/ boyfriend / animal or kid my precioussss.
You happily traveled over an hour to the next town to see "it" because that theater has a better sound system than the one 5 minutes down the road.
You have called every theatrical or specialty makeup company in town looking for pointy ear or hairy feet prosthetics.
You've worn your plastic "one ring" that came on your Legolas bookmark so much the gold is completely worn off.
You've begun drafting a letter to the Webster's dictionary people requesting that they include "Ringers" in their next edition.
At Christmas time relatives find you chatting with the tree and sharing eggnog draughts
Single ads with the description," short plump and big hairy feet" seem much more appealing.
You know The LoTR history better then your family history.
You have a mouse named Frodo, a bird named Gollum, and a dog named Gandalf. And that cat that keeps coming around to be petted is Legolas.
You know Elvish better then English.
Whenever something goes wrong, it's Sauron's fault.
When you sing in the shower, it's always about Gil-Galad or hobbit walking songs...
You know everything about Middle Earth geography, but you can't get someone from your house to the ice cream parlor. Now the nearest movie theater, that is a different story.
You think the names of the 7 dwarves from Snow White are: Gimli, Gloin, Thorin, Gili, Nili, Ori, and Bambour.
You have developed your own special Tolkien handwriting. "A firm, flowing script..."
Words like "Yrch" make sense to you.
You've become strangely obsessed with mushrooms.
Whenever you close a door, you say "They have a cave troll!"
When you come to a dead end you're still convinced that the road goes ever on and on.
There's a sign on your door saying "Speak Friend and enter!"
Whenever you get a chance, you burst into song. Preferably one that has more than 20 verses.
You change your name by deed poll to a Tolkien character and seriously consider naming your children after LOTR characters.
Every time you see birds in the sky you have the urge to say "Fly you fools!"
When someone knocks on your door you grab them, pull them inside and ask "Are you frightend?... Not nearly frightend enough!"
Your computer's screensaver is a marquee reading, "Ennyn Durin atan Moria: pedo mellon a mino" and the password is actually "mellon".
You cannot see a beer without blurting out "It comes in pints? I'm getting one!"
You just can't keep yourself from saying "nobody tosses a Dwarf" at inappropriate moments.
A shadow and a threat is growing in your mind.
You now referring to your friends as your 'Fellowship' and insist that you have epic adventures.
You stand in the doorway and tell your cat that he 'Can not pass'.
You wash your face in the sink and expect to see things that are, that have been or that will be.
Your wedding band has started to weigh you down with it's evil powers.
Spending $35 at the grocery store seems expensive but its Perfectly fine to spend $70 on the Hardcover LOTR book with Alan Lee Illustrations.
You start keeping a LOTR Journal to write poems and inklings in.
You face every difficult decision with the thought "now what would Gandalf advise me to do?"
You know what Entmoot, Ent draught, or an Ent is for that matter
You've gained 20 pounds because you've started eating a "Second Breakfast"
A walking stick... you never leave home with out it.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Lord of the Rings.
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You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When...
You can recite *all* the dialogue from the trilogy.
You watch the entire trilogy at least once a month.
You wonder why the SW theme never makes it into those "clasical collections."
Any time you pick up a walkie-talkie or two-way radio, the first thing you say is "TK-421, why aren't you at your post?"
Whenever you went anywhere outside with your friends, you always walked single file, to hide your numbers.
You've written several letters to the President recommending that he dissolve the council, put power in the hands of the regional governors, and let fear keep the local systems in line.
In college, after several hours of poker, you got thrown our of the game for suggesting, "How about some sabacc?"
When trying unsuccessfully to snare that last Cheerio floating in your cereal bowl, you remarked, "the Force is strong with this one."
On Halloween, you would never dress as: Luke, Han Solo, Leia, Vader, Chewie, Threepio, Artoo
However, you would dress as: Wedge, Porkins, Crix Madine, that spider droid from Jabba's palace that fat dancer from Jabba's palace, Sy Snootles, the Cantina bartender. The monster in the trash compactor, Boba Fett, An Imperial probe droid
You've been pulled over by a policeman, and when asked to see your driver's license you replied, "You don't need to see my identification."
And when he asks about your two friends in the back "They're for sale, if you want them."
You have physically threatened anyone who referred to "Hans Solo" or "Dark Vader", confused Star Wars with Star Trek, or spellied Wookiee with only one "e."
You have held up an onion ring and said, "Look sir...droids!"
You've referred to Wedge Antilles or Boba Fett as "The Man."
You've bought a white Isuzu Trooper, strictly because of the name.
While sitting on the couch with your girlfriend, she comments about being cold. So, naturally, you slice open the side of the cushion and stuff her in.
You insist on spelling Pizza Hut "Pizza Hutt."
You dropped your religion and now live the way Yoda taught you.
You recorded all the new Star Wars comercials.
You frequently experience insomnia and, to counter this, begin counting nerfs.
You answer the phone "Die wanna wanga?"
Whenever you buy a new appliance, you make sure to get one that speaks Bacchi.
You call your aunt and uncle Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen.
Whenever you catch sight of cars behind yours, you say "Fighters, coming in, point three five."
Someone else in your car says "What about that tower?"
You respond, "You worry about those fighters, I'll worry about the tower", and moments later your car slams into the water tower the passenger was referring to.
When a cop catches you speeding, you floor it, saying "I've outrun Imperial starships, and not the local bulk cruisers..."
When someone apologizes to you, you choke him and tell him that you accept his apology.
You ride your motorbike through the forest at top speed, and survive after throwing yourself off just before it hits a tree.
You've 'wielded' a flashlight and made humming sounds.
You wave your hand purposefully and 'use the force' to open and close automatic doors or elevator doors.
You go over to a friends, go to his refrigerator, and crawl in throwing food and stuff over your shoulder and grunting.
You walk into an optometrist's office and shout: You will PAY for your lack of vision!
You have a Yoda figurine replacing the brand symbol on the hood of your car.
When accelerating your car to enter the freeway, you tell your passengers to strap in and prepare for light speed.
Your significant other dumps you because everytime she/he says, "I love you" you always respond, "I know."
You quote Yoda to defend your political beliefs.
You have so many SW Trilogy GIF's, JPG's, MIDI's, AVI's, WAV's, MPG's, icons and text files that you're rapidly running out of disk space and have to buy a bigger hard drive just to hold them all.
You have so many SW posters that you can't see your ceiling or floor, either.
You have so many SW toys that you can't see your SW posters anyway.
When leaving a restaurant, you can't resist signing Boba Fett or Darth Vader in the guestbook.
You went through a state of depression when Chewie died.
You look at "big hairy carpets" with more respect than before.
You speak Rodian.
You punch out trekkies who say "Death star my ass, I'd like to see those losers take out DS9."
With a blue-tinted plastic tube, a flashlight, two hours of a Saturday night, and 4 rolls of blue electrical tape, you finally complete your own working "Light-saber"
You listen for Obi-Wan while attempting to parallel park
1Your father asks you how fast your car is, and you reply, "Fast enough for you, old man!"
You could have sworn you saw bantha tracks during your trip to the grand canyon.
Every time somebody sneezes, you say, "May the force be with you."
The cinnamon buns in your hair start to grow mold.
You call your friend who is a midget Wicket.
You refer to money as credits without trying to.
You respond to any mention of the legality of something with "I will make it legal."
You start reliving the speeder bike chase on your motorbike.
Someone tells you your car is old and beat-up, you reply "She'll do .5 past light speed..."
You refer to getting off the freeway as coming out of hyperspace.
You are POSITIVE you are force-sensitive and only lack the proper training.
Someone says they will try to do something you automatically respond "Do or do not. There is no try."
By intense study you have actually figured out the location of every gun implacement on a star destroyer.
Your house robe is brown and extra large.
You type in the terms for a search engine as if entering coordinates, then shout "Punch it, Chewie!" as you click on search.
You argue about whether Star Wars is space fantasy or space opera.
You're out looking for a Wookie for your school's wrestling team.
You nickname your car the Millennium Falcon.
The last time a cute guy tried to hug you, your hands were dirty.
When your mom asks you to clean your room, you say "Leave that to me."
Your friends share recipes for cooking Ewok.
You have a long braid in you hair like Obi-Wan in E1.
You call your boss/teacher "Master"
You went to the nearest recruiting center and asked to be assigned to the 121st TIE squadren
When asked if you want to be buried or creamated you say "I'll just vanish like the rest of the Jedi"
You have a bad feeling about everything.
While partying with friends, you do your Darth Vader impression.
You try to get your car up to .5 beyond lightspeed, in a parking lot.
You call your girlfriend, "your Highness."
You keep calling your boyfriend, "Luke," "Han," or "Lando" by mistake.
You believe John Williams is the best composer ever (which, of course, he is!), and George Lucas is a god (which, too, is pretty much true!)
While listening to the soundtrack without knowing the name of the song you are listening to, you know exactly what's happening while it's playing.
In foreign language class, you tell the teacher, "Hey! If I'm fluent in over six million forms of communication, then how come I'm getting such a bad grade in this class?"
When your friends confide in you and tell you their deepest, darkest secrets, you say, "You are far too trusting."
When your dad says, "I am your father," you begin to scream uncontrollably and shout, "NOOOO! It's not true!" at the top of your lungs.
You have ever thought the world would be a better place if it were like the Rebel Alliance/New Republic.
You now want to become an astronaut to see if there really is a Lando system.
Obiwan Kenobi and Yoda come to you in your dreams and give you advice about tough situations you're dealing with.
Yoda's little sayings have had a profound impact on your life, and you abide by them religiously.
You've created lyrics to the songs in Star Wars.
Instead of saving for college, you save up for Star Wars stuff you plan to buy.
Anyone who doesn't like Star Wars you proclaim is an Imperial.
When you are ticked off at somebody, you send bounty hunters all over the place to find them and then you encase him in carbonite for a new wall decoration.
When your alarm clock goes off in the morning, your reply is, "Unexpected this is... and unfortunate!"
When riding your bike, you look behind you and accelerate wildly by pressing down on the petal with your right toe.
You've kept the "good" action figures stored separately from the "bad" ones.
As a child, whenever you had broken something, your response was always, "It must've had a self-destruct mechanism. I didn't hit it that hard."
You've refused to enter a cave/cavern/tunnel without a handgun and a large stick.
When you waited for a friend to catch up with you, you told him to hurry up or he'd be a permanent resident.
You've ever found yourself in a chat room, training Jedi.
You've ever told your younger brother at the dinner table, "Use the fork, Luke."
You've ever roped off your Star Wars Action Figure collection, claiming it to be an independent nation.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Star Wars.
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