Comments | neonafterglow: Broken

neonafterglow

Broken

Oct 10, 2006 01:28

Whenever people asked her about Conor Pellan she never really knew how to explain him, or them, or whatever they were. They never really began at a specific point that she could remember, just slowly moved from simply being friends into the complicated knot of a relationship. Natalie loved Conor, though: loved the familiarity of his floppy brown ( Read more... )

short story

Comments 8

sidetracked October 10 2006, 14:37:01 UTC

God, I've missed this! I've missed the way you put so much detail and emotion in what you write and the emotional response it brings out of me as a reader. You did an awesome job of establishing their past in just a few sentences and then moving into the present and the looming changes. I love the way that you wrote them growing apart, even though she didn't want them too and even though she tried everything she could. And I love the way she realized that it was over. I have a dozen favorite lines, but the one about how his smell has changed and how it felt as if he was grown up and not the same person is my favorite. KEEP WRITING. <33333333333

neonafterglow October 11 2006, 03:34:50 UTC

awwww yay! i'm glad you liked it. i actually posted it secretly just for you to read. :D thank you, love!

we need to talk more! i wish school hadn't taken over my life. but i'll definitely try to be on AIM more.

sidetracked October 11 2006, 03:43:46 UTC

Good! Because I miss you! You can always drop me a line at booksmartbrilliance@yahoo.com and I'll write you back. MUAH.

getlucky October 10 2006, 15:07:03 UTC

jesus christ, this hurt.
i can't even imagine what it must have felt like for you, i'm so sorry.

neonafterglow October 11 2006, 03:33:21 UTC

yeah.... i mean, this is technically fiction, but it's definitely based in reality. but thank you!

slinksterjess October 10 2006, 17:03:56 UTC

oh christ. this is gorgeous.
you are an amazing writer. please keep doing it. this inspires me to write more, because i don't write as much as i should.

you captured the feeling and the emotion perfectly. i know how this feels and it's heartbreaking. getting it down on paper is cathartic, isn't it?

neonafterglow October 11 2006, 03:32:43 UTC

awww thank you! i'm actually taking creative writing this quarter, and this is what i turned in for my first workshop. take a creative writing class! they FORCE you to write, and it's wonderful.

shaebay December 20 2006, 15:58:47 UTC

I was wondering if you could remove me from your list. You don't update too often, so if you could do that I'd really appreciate it. :D